Babylegs – Page 2 – TrashTalkTV

Hey Trashcrabs! We’re back on our own heady shores this week, settling back into our sediment, cozying back into our humid Maryland clay. It’s the penultimate episode of RHOP before the finale (and dread Reunion), which means this recap is going to be a short one by my standards: putting things in place before everything […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: The Institution

Babylegs Real Housewives of Potomac, Recaps 1

Trashcrabs, it’s almost over. We’re at the last leg of this tripod of an admittedly glorious Housewives Vacation, a glorious Season! and it’s time to stack our cards. A Reunion is pending. Two weeks ago, Bravo released a seating chart, even! Candiace – Monique – Karen – ANDY – Gizelle – Ashley – Robyn Just […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Scents and Sensibility

Hey Trashcrabs. Before we get to the recap I have some super serious sad news to share. It’s not really related to our Goons of Potomac but it is Bravo related and as your resident Ladies of London sherpa I feel compelled to bring it some attention. Annabelle Nielson, our perfect, pouty, deliciously dry gamin of […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: C’est Si Bon

France is winning the World Cup this week so this is what we get. A vacation episode. En France. Quel awesome. So here we are, TrashCrabs, at the penultimate chapter of every solid Housewives season: the dreaded, expensive, ruinous vacation. As we’ve covered, everyone has agreed to join Monique on the “birthday trip” “Chris” “surprised” […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Minicap: Leaving You Bitches in Business, Bye!

Babylegs Real Housewives of Potomac, Recaps 1

Bonjour, Trashcrabs! Comment allez vous? Moi, je suis tres tres pressed for time because I’m being held at work late tonight for a dumb project that Monique dragged me to that is all about sticking your nose into stinky ass jars of oil and blugh, I hate it. So, long story short, my recap for […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: I Me Mime

Trashcrabs, this is literally the second episode of the season whose title is a pun of “mind your own business.” Episode 3 was called “Meme Your Own Business.” Take a wild stab at what the “writers” named this one. You can aim the knife right here. Now take a minute to gawk at the fact […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Amuse Booth

OK TrashCrabs, here’s the deal: Mama fell off the wagon last week. She went on vacation with her family, where it rained the whole time and they were forced to do nothing but binge drink inside and scream at each other over Scattergories (I promise, there’s a lot of love there). Then, when she came […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Bad Blood

I drank wine through this entire recap, from beginning to end, because that’s who I am. That’s what’s in my blood. It rushes through my veins, thin and quick and warm. Galvanizing my mean streak. And it’s the only thing that makes these women appetizing. They’re like the cheesecake that sits in my fridge, all […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Medium Rare

Previously on…. I’m not even doing this. This is such tripe. Women fought and we left them where we fought. We went back inside to make another drink and talk to the other moms, leaving our kids out in the pool to fend for themselves. They’re fine. They’re always fine. They’ve got their noodles and […]

Real Housewives of Potomac: Eau de Kurn Hugur

Ughhhhh. This episode needs no introduction because it is a not-really-cliffhanger answer to a not-really-cliffhanger cliffhanger. So let’s just dive into this boring porridge that doesn’t matter at all in any way. OK? We begin with the exciting conclusion to What Dis Is? Divorce? with Karen Huger. Not ten seconds ago, Karen had been extolling the virtues […]

TrashTalkCeleb: NO TIME, GOTTA GET TO THE AIRPORT

You guys, today’s TTCeleb is going to be a bit of a wham-bam-thankya-mam because I have to admit. I’m late for my flight. I was invited to a wedding this weekend and I’m already going to miss the rehearsal dinner. And it’s all the way in ENGLAND. Cripes. My friend Peg always does this. She […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: The Dizziest B*tch

Hey dizzy bitches, you feelin’ alright? You look a little woozy. Do you know where you are? Do you need to sit down? Maybe all of that time playing Tarzan up in the trees took you for a loop. Maybe it was the four-martini lunch! Maybe it’s the whiplash. Who knows? All I know is […]

TrashTalkCeleb: Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid & The Weeknd, Danielle Staub, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Azaelia Banks, Courtney Stodden

Twitter – Here’s a Clip of Kendall Jenner Being Real Classy at the Met Gala Kendall Jenner being rude as always pic.twitter.com/BytxmPYPd9 — molly (@dyonvi) May 8, 2018 Kendall Jenner is basically everyone’s cat shoving shit off a shelf. Except for a shelf it’s her shot and instead of glasses of water and alarm clocks it’s […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Asleep at the Wheel

Mo, Mo, Mo of Potomac Sloshed as she can be Mo, Mo, Mo of Potomac Ahhh! Watch out for that tree! Welcome back to Potomac, Trashcrabs! Guess what! THIS SHOW HAS FINALLY GOTTEN GRADE-A GUUUUUD. Not only did we have a total scandal this week, but our newbie finally lost her shit and we set off […]

TrashTalkCeleb: The Rock, Willow Smith, Johnny Depp, Justin Bieber, Adele

Jezebel – More Reasons Why Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is Zaddy Due to a work crisis on Friday, I had nary the time to deliver your Rill Itchy Memorial Courtney Stodden update, nor the news that pudgy oversized bulldog puppy DJ Khaled is actually a chauvinist piece of trash who doesn’t deserve to be married or honored any other sort […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Downtown Wiener Brown

Hey Trashcrabs! Welcome back to Maryland, where the local delicacies are steamed crab and browned sausage. Not totally brown. Just, a light brown. Ya know. Sort of an umber length. A bit of a mauve end. Firm and piping and ready to slip on down your face hole. That’s the way we like it here. […]

TrashTalkCeleb: Trump & Kanye, the Royal Baby, Ann Curry & Matt Lauer, Bill Cosby, Whitney Houston, Courtney Stodden

Twitter – Donald J. Trump, President and Chief of “Getting It” [longest, most cancerous sigh in the world] God dammit, Kanye. Look at what you’ve done. Kanye West has performed a great service to the Black Community – Big things are happening and eyes are being opened for the first time in Decades – Legacy Stuff! Thank […]

TrashTalkCeleb: Rule, Britannia! She Had the Damn Baby

BBC – Duchess of Cambridge Gives Birth to Second Boy, Advances Two Rounds in Monarchy Olympics Here’s exclusive footage of Bill calling his parents to announce that his wife Cathy finally pushed it out: Congratulations to the happy family. Apologies to Cathy, who asked us all to just wait for her, please, before we blast this baby news […]

TrashTalkCeleb: Rachel Weisz & Daniel Craig, Michelle Pfeiffer, Charlize Theron, Kim Kardashian, Not the Duggars, Courtney Stodden

E! – 007 Baby Defies All Odds of Surviving Prenatal Existence in Womb of 48-Year-Old Woman Exciting news for James Bond and The Nerdy Girl From the Mummy Movies! They are expecting a baaaaaaayby! Alias Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, they are proving that you are never too old to sit on your couch and wonder desperately if you’ll ever have […]

Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: The Plain White Tease