AH June. The month we became TrashTalkTV. We got new digs, and adjusted nicely. Most of the regulars made it, but we lost a few of the fun kids. Others changed names along with the site, and we made some nifty new friends.
Some crazies found us too.
Oh, and the comments just kept coming.
Merry Christmas from Snowshoe and the rest of the Cats. We hope that you can take a break if the festivities become a tad hectic and have a holiday smile.
Sarcasatire on Trailer Park, “Schwarznegger, Stallone, and Cruise all got the memo, Will had better get with the program. If you want us to pay more attention to Jaden, make a film about people trying to shoot him and blow him up.”
Aunt Dorsey on Trailer Park, “I think I can wait with unbated breath until this one shows up on the tube.”
Aunt Dorsey on Dear TVGasm RHOC, “Poor Icky never looked as good as Miss Piggy did. But the doctor used the wrong setting on the belt sander and missed most of the major craters.”
Tracy on Taylor Swift Comes Out With A Third Fragrance…WHY? “Böring by Taylor Swift.”
PopePhilly on The Bachelorette, “I’m sorry. I totally should have read your whole recap before posting the video. Please don’t hate me. I will wear my Bachelor hair and say 15 “Hail Harrisons” to earn your forgiveness.”
Crazy Rooster on Bachelorette, “What do you mean, unnatural? What, when you’re hanging out with a bunch of people you barely tolerate, you don’t spontaneously break out into a group rap too?…….. Well yeah… which is why I’m no longer welcome at the PTA meetings.”
Chicken Lips on Breaking Amish, “Sabrina was actually on the line with 411 – she needed to find out how to call 911. She’s ain’t the sharpest, you know.”
LAC on Newlyweds Sexy Time, “I really feel for Tarz. He is little head in the clouds, but he is sweet and lives with a woman who can make opening a can into a Lifetime movie.”
Hot cawfee on RHONJ: “Tiny Caro–shaking my head–I think she means “down-sizing” like she meant “portion control” when complimented on losing weight. She neglected to mention that lap band surgery caused her to control her portions: not due to any will-power or effort. So lets say ‘Bankruptcy is to Down-sizing as Lap-Band Surgery is to Portion Control.’”
Plockness Monster on Commentgasm Winners: “The Great Crash of 2012 still brings a tear to my eye. It really fucked up my forum ranking too.”
WishICouldDance on What Up With Kris Kard…: “Hey, when do the daily infomercials on How To Make A Fortune Off Your Skank Ho Daughters start?!? SO EXCITED!!! Wait… Talk Show?!? No, I’m sure that’s a typo!! It’s got to be a how-to for all us millions of moms who have been doing it wrong!!”
Amanda on RHONJ: “@Gypsy, Whoa WHOA..lets go easy on Princess Lauren. She’s had a really hard life. I mean..she had to go to prom with her brother. Being down graded to ONE. ONE couch? Send Angelina Jolie/Jimmy Carter/Bono in to do some ambassador work.”
Faye on T&T Mini: “Dad on Roids would be cute if he didn’t look like he had been stung by a nation of angry bees”
Chicken Lips on T&T Mini: “At first I thought Roidosaurus was just one of those weird health nuts…but then I realized that the ‘roids have damaged his brain and removed the filter between thought-and-mouth. But I’ll give him this – it does take a confident man to run around in his undies when he knows that the juice will turn the jewels into sun dried tomatoes.”
Lauriel on Revolution: “Monroe is the kind of guy I used to go for before I ‘grew up.’ I’d still like to climb all over him like a spider monkey.”
LAC on Newlyweds Sexy…: “And given that he looks like what hits on you in airport bar while your flight is delayed.”
JimbobJones on “Hot in Cleveland”: “As Joe Rogan once said. ‘My guidance counselor owes me a fucking apology! That dude lacked vision!’”
“Rachelkashmir on Million Dollar Listing”: “@labowner- You’re kidding right? The only women who could possibly be attracted to that creep are aging, gold diggers who look like pre op trannies….visualize….Kim Zolciak (apologies to pre op trannies.)”
Surreal Girl on “Princesses Long Island”: I’m also surprised that these \princesses\ didn’t get sweet 16 nose jobs. (ouch!)
Catty Fan on “T&T Mini”: I want to know who was tasked with the job of rolling those tiny little joints…
Hot Cawfee on “Game of Thrones”: I am excited and terrified for the season finale. Commuter mug, bottle of pinot, secure top for commuter mug.
Justelle on “Dance Moms”: Oh wow…I had no idea there was a jewelry line. Can I get them engraved? Because to me they look like re-purposed dog tags like I would buy at the vets office and while I have no need for a heart shaped charm that says \2nd place over all!\ I do have a dog I love slightly less than my main dog (Lifetime tv has taught me that put downs breed eternal loyalty..ask anyone in their original moves…or on their show Dance Moms) and she could most certainly use a cute tag to let her know shell always be the most adorable first loser in my life.
NotWithoutMyTV on “Don’t be Tardy”: Eggnog DOESN’T come from milking reindeer?
Aintnobodygottime on “Dance Moms”: “Working on Broadway” could be taken a different way. I see a lot of people “working on Broadway” but they aren’t always in a show.
JimbobJones on What up With Bravo?: “Did Andy really need to “come out”? I swear that man watched the old “Men on Film” skits on In Living Color and said “Oh, so THAT’S how I’m supposed to act, only whiter!”
Gypsy on Real World Whoomp!” Man she was unforgettable huh? I totally forgot her name.
June and Blanche on “T&T”: Ok… Ok…. I didn’t get involved in the coffee talk because meh it’s your kid…
I didn’t get involved in the tinker tea talk cuz frankly they’re baby teeth and they’ll fall out anyway…
BUT if you think for 1 minute I will stand here and let you say she was eating a kolache when it’s clearly a hotdog on a bun…. Well, Madam, you have gone too far!!!!
Riley’s Coach on T&T Mini”: Alright seems like everyone on here likes to sit around and talk crap about kids. How sweet. This is wat gives pageants a bad name, not wat the girls and moms do on TV even, but wat u guys r all doing now, talking crap about kids. And judging. Riley spitting, if spitting is the worst thing she does then hey we r ahead of the game. If u can even call it spitting, cuz no saliva even came out Sje was just making the action, and if any of u were talented enough to have been on tnt before, u know that they make u do certain things and play things out differently, she clearly doesn’t go around spitting and she was not trying to spit on anyone she was spitting in the floor that child is no where near a brat or bad mannered. And ryan, her daddy, is prob the most real, stand up, honest, genuine person I have ever met and yes he was a marine and trust me if u knew him, ud know that, but instead u sit around making judgements about people u dont know. Lemme know how that works out for u. While we will still sit here and support the ppl we love love u rybear, ur adorable and fabulous.
Timgunnssister on “T&T Mini”: And the Mom of the ‘Most Beautiful Child ever born”? Bless your heart and take a number.
Classy Drunk on “Game of Thrones”: I’m glad that someone realizes that it’s not easy being drunk all the time….
Aunt Dorsey on Behind the Candelabra…: Catherine Zeta Jones should get combat pay.
Jane and Blanche on TTTV Quickie: MAYBE Snookie’s kid and Kimye’s kid will make a sex tape 1 day….. It’s the circle of life…….
RonnieK on TTTV Quickie: Holy shit that baby would fall down every other step lol
Ellemenop on Toddlers & Tiaras: but according to rileyscoach, she doesn’t “actually” spit because apparently she doesn’t know how to make saliva come out to accompany the spitting motions. she is robbing a child who actually ejects saliva through her pursed lips from the UGS in spitting. what is this, a Lisa Fulgham pageant??
Turtlegirl93 on Sesame Street…: From what I remember, a lot of the Muppets looked stoned. Only when I was little, I thought they looked sleepy. At least now we know why Cookie Monster was always eating the cookies. He should have been named Munchie Monster!
Chaosbutterfly on Food Network Star: Mmm dat new website smell.
PageantKidGrownUp on Toddlers & Tiaras Jesus and Asians: Gak, on ye olde place, narcassitic mean bitch has drug her bitch friends with her. We be evil skanky hobags for snarking on her brat having fewer manners than a goldfish, even if the brat is actually pretty. Momma bitch needs to learn the Naomi Campbell lesson. No matter how pretty you may be, an ugly personality will ruin you. Or beauty fades, ugly is forever.
Honeybunny on Tamra Grows Balls: Love the new place – all fresh & clean. No DNA yet.
Labowner on Newlywed Mini: Quick comment – anyone else think the “nurse” dips into her own stash? Yikes
Chicken Lips on Breaking Amish: I hope that Sissy does her preRumspringa Rumspringa but decides that it just isn’t her jam. Momma is trying hard, but it’s all “Born to be Mild” rather than “Born to be Wild”.
Itchy on The Bachelorette: Obviously Drew learned how to walk from practicing in front of America’s Next Top Model. But my my my what a bunch of earnest meatheads she’s got left. The only one who seems at all fun is that Mel Gibson-looking guy. He’s a total goofball, of course. Which means he’ll be perfect for her.
BedHeadJen on Toddlers & Tiaras: Lord Jesus and Lloyd Christmas, did those judges win an online auction for Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels costumes from Dumb and Dumber?
Itchy on The Bachelorette: I’m feeling really torn about this season. On the one hand, Des is very cute. Like comic book cute. Like she stepped out of Jughead comic cute. Or maybe one of those mangas my kids aren’t allowed to read yet. Yeah. One of those.
But… well, is it just me, or does she seem particularly dim? I mean, Lord knows this show is never going to produce too many Mensa members. But Des just seems to be taking this to a whole new level. I hate to say this, since, well, she is so damn cute.
Honeybee on RHOC Lydia: Old Tamara is resurfacing and I am beginning to remember why I disliked her. I love her snark, but she is sneaking around and planting little drama bombs everywhere. (I just love that image –S-)
Timgunnssister on Hot in Cleveland…:Ooooh, cool new place. So, Flip, does this finally mean we each get our own room and don’t have to share anymore? Though I think it might be the toothbrush sharing that I disliked the most. And unlike the other place, this one has a bathroom, right? I’ll unpack later. Off to find the kitchen.
Chicken Lips on Toddlers & Tiaras: Hey – let’s go easy on Denham when we should really feel sorry for her brother Pollikotinblennd.
Spike22 on BB House: It looks like they are trying to get that MadMen/retro vibe that seems to be popular with the “in crowd”. It looks too much like my Grandmothers house to be cool.
Labowner on Toddlers & Tiaras: Come Beebs obviously they prayed on it and God listened hoping they would shut the fuck up.
MisRed on Princesses: I watch a LOT of bad TV… but I ALMOST can’t watch these idiots. ALMOST. Erica fell out the hot mess tree and hit every limb on the way down… twice.
dqh257 on Newlyweds: @smango, in a twitter war between a drama queen and a drag queen, I choose Facebook.
Cockerspanielgirl on Pretty Wicked Moms: Poor Meredith. I felt like my brain cells were committing suicide by watching the Tweedles going over their voter info.
KAT on Pretty Wicked Moms: labowner, I vote these women (bigger messes), primarily because they’re actually raising and influencing young, impressionable, tiny people & dogs while the princessi are embarrassing themselves & their parents (who seem to deserve it) while entertaining me.
Chooch850 on Mad Men: Kenny gets Cheney’d and all you got to say @brebay, is highlight the page numbers???
Itchy on BB House Tour: One word: What a fuckin’ mess.
Iona Trailer on RHONJ: 1. Yes….most of the Housefrau shows are staged. None of these people are that interesting in real life. They sit on a toilet to take a dump just like everyone else.
2. I almost spewed whatever I was drinking at the moment Gia said that Milania said she had a hairy grille. Miliania is freaking gold.
3. Critter-fur is a fattie. He can play bumper bellies with his sister Meg Griffin.
4. Fran’s pet pig was ugly as sin…but still better looking than Teresa.
5. Midge just wanted a butt plug up his ass .I have no doubt he is the pass around bottom at the bath houses over in Manhattan.
6. Linda has a penis.
PageantKidGrownUp on Toddlers & Tiaras: TLC jumped the shark with creating this show but they’ve gone and added flames, gasoline, starved pirhanas and took away the motorcycle for a broken pogo stick. It’s no longer about kids in pageants, it’s about how damn skanky of worthless fuckwads the chronological adults can be. The kids act like psychological experiments gone bad because they are and they don’t have a clue otherwise.
LAC on RHONJ: Teresa and her army of spray tan spackled, over made up ghoulfriends – was a birthday party or halloween? And when is Kim D’s liver going to file for a divorce?
Gypsy on Snooki Praying: I pray for her to get a new, better fitting set of chompers and…………..a lobotomy.
Knitwit on Toddlers & Tiaras Mini: not enough poles in the world to employ all these idiots in the future!
Ellmenop on Toddlers & Tiaras: also, I have my husband the “highlights” of this episode, and I think he was thanking Jesus that we are having a boy … and we’re Jewish.
Turtlegirl93 on Toddlers & Tiaras Mini: When I went to Vegas for work a few years ago, I was absolutely astonished to overhear some of the men from my conference ordering escorts over the phone. And then I saw the said escorts being delivered in a van. Just like pizzas!
Waffleboy on Snooki Praying: The sad thing is that when Jersey Shore started these girls had problems, Snooki was a little butterball, and J-Woww had one of the worst boob jobs in the Western World, (and that’s including strippers from former Warsaw Pact Nations), but they both had really pretty faces. And now, well as long as they’re happy, I guess.
BedHeadJen on Toddlers & Tiaras: I think it’s her nostrils. It looks like she could fit her thumbs in them. I bet she can breathe like a champ though.
Sarcasatire on TrashtalkTV: Grill means “Face’, people! Like the song, “Why you all up in my grill?” Could also mean ‘teeth.’ Like when Jujubee asked the drag queen with the crooked smile, “Was the barbecue canceled? Cuz your grill is f*ucked!”
Sarcasatire on Paula Deen Fired: I, for one, no longer trust butter.
Vish In reply to sarcasatire: How DARE you insult butter, this is not butter’s fault.
Chicken Lips on Rejected Kimye Baby Names: Oh, and you know they are pissed that Tony Soprano died and totally stole their baby thunder because for every 1 person that cares about there kid, 1 million people care about James Gandolfini.
Kczar on Rejected Kimye Names: Two things: First, I love that they had one of Kim’s friends release a statement saying Kim is a great mom. The kid’s a week old. What kind of challenges has Kim had? Not leaving the baby on the car roof when they left the hospital? And I think it’s pretty obvious why the baby has no middle name. Kim and Kanye are still negotiating the corporate sponsorship deal. So will it be Citifinancial or McDonalds? Maybe KY Jelly. It starts with a
Sarcasatire On Paula Deen: Making her Black employees used separate bathrooms?? In 2010? Unacceptable. (I think Butter should sue too because it’s reputation has been undoubtedly tarnished.)
PlathAddict on Paula (Racist? Moi?) Deen: @sarcasatire, for some reason I wasn’t able to reply directly to you. BUT, I feel you! I don’t know any of the details about bathrooms, or bank robberies, or depositions. But it sounds like an AMAZING recap!
Plus, you called on Butter to witness? Can the choir say AMEN!?! I’m all in, baby doll. Just tell me how I can help SPREAD the word!
Sarcasatire on Paula (Who me?) Deen: How can Paula Deen be racist if every time she gets her hands on butter, she has to brown it?
The wrong Spock on Newlyweds: Cuntwaffle? Thank you for this. It’s so perfect!!!
LAC on Newlyweds: OMG! Thank you for the recap of this show, which should be retitled “Who should get nut-punched this week?”
smango on Newlyweds: Trashmi!!! Love it @chaos! I’ve been trying to figure out how to greet everyone! I shall adopt it and cuntwaffle!
Sarcasatire on Possible Trouble on the Masterchef Set: Joe used to be a big teddy bear himself. Then lost like 90 lbs and got really cranky. I supect he’s just hungry.
Xouille (Please don’t DO that to me) on Big Brother: Half of these people scare me and I despise the other half… this is gonna be a good summer.
I predict that by the end of the first week, Mc Crae is gonna trade votes for the weed he stashed in his hair. And seriously, two bible thumpers, one redneck with anger management issues and a gay trucker… Ron Snow you in danger gurl !
Plockness Monster on BB Houseguests 1st Impressions: I, for one, am thankful no one mentioned Elyssa is Rachel’s sister. It’s not like we aren’t going to hear it a million times between now and the time she is evicted or (GOD FORBID) wins.
TN Gal on Top Ten: So the OC hoes have made it to 100 episodes. I bet Miss Andy can’t wait to pimp those bitches out to syndicated TV.
Itchy on BB Houseguests: I like RonnieK because it makes me think of super-nutritious breakfast cereal.
Itchy on BB Houseguests: Well, she’s a bible thumper, a yoga instructor AND a nutritionist. She’ll be like reality tv nitroglycerin. I almost feel sorry for the others.
Cattyfan on Jim Carrey Denounces…: The guns won’t keep me from seeing the movie. The fact that Jim Carrey sucks probably will, though.
Mike Hunt on Top Ten: Don’t you think you went a little to far with the overweight feller that has only one arm??? Me neither, I loved it!!! Funniest God damned thing I have seen all day!!!
TN Gal on Bieber Finds Twerpiest Way…: What did we ever do to Canada to deserve this little boil? Someone should just lance him already.
WaffleBoy on Bieber Finds Twerpiest Way…: You mean aside from invading them? Twice?
Seriously though Canada this makes us even.
Lindaw 205 on Bieber Finds Twerpiest Way…: Fuck that, I never invaded Canada. And why does he always have those eyebrows raised like he just smelled an incredibly maladorous fart? Do random people just sidle up next to him and fart on him? If only.
Dear Crabby on Toddlers & Tiaras: Eh, good point about the traffic in LA…bet we could get in quite a few Asian-American fire drills on the 405. Crabby Dear, if you get sent to hell for that hilar… I mean horrific… comment, well, I’ll be right there with you. I’ll bring the fire extinguisher and a six pack.
Chicken Lips on Toddlers and Tiaras: In the family pictures there was an older child – we didn’t get to meet her though. My guess it is either Ms. Fabulous’s sister, or a child born when she was decidedly less fabulous with braces and working at the Dairy Queen.
Awfuleyebrow on Aaron Carter Thinks we’re Morons: If he had claimed to have been attacked by a gang of 35 year old females from Dorchester who had been swiling winecoolers, I may have believed him. Those are the only New Kids fans that I can remember.
Is that what really happened Aaron? Did your blackbelt come in handy when you had to defend yourself against a few drunken soccer moms on their girls’ night out?
Gypsy on Chris Brown Hit & Run: Can celebrity assholes have a separate hell than the rest of us who may or may not be going? If I do end up there I don’t want to be seen with these people.
NotWithoutMyTV on RHOC 100th: But I think we can all agree on one thing about Andy Cohen: that boy just ain’t right.
NotWithoutMyTV on Chris Brown Hit & Run: Classy, studies published in USA Today have shown that hit and run accidents are “gateway crimes”. First, you knock off someone’s side view mirror, and you’re like, “Hey man, no biggie. Chris Brown don’t stop for that.” And then, before you’re really paying attention, you’re slapping around some pouty Pop Tart and cultivating a serious Jesus complex. Next thing you know, you’re deploying weapons of mass destruction against your own people and Ban Ki-moon won’t pose with you for pictures anymore.
And then, 5-Hour Energy doesn’t renew your sponsorship deal, Slate calls your latest album “sophmoric”, and you find yourself in tears on the Today show, and that prick Matt Lauer isn’t having any of your apology. And if Matt Lauer won’t forgive you, neither will America.
Clair on Chris Brown Hit & Run: Clair hates it when people tweet about themselves in the third person.
Classy Drunk on Chris Brown Hit & Run: “if Matt Lauer won’t forgive you, neither will America.” That part I knew. It’s in the second verse of the “Star Spangle Banner”.
Itchy on Bachelorette: Kasey is a pinched-face version of Drew. So if it looks like someone’s squeezing his face between two planks of wood, that’s Kasey. Hope that helps!
Babyblooz on Toddlers & Tiaras: I wonder if Ron considers retrieving that thong out of Kelly’s fat rolls to be foreplay? Yeesh.
Chicken Lips on Toddlers & Tiaras Elbows…: Still reading, but me and you is about to fight, Crabby! They’d better not cancel Breaking Amish! While it isn’t as awesome as TnT, TnT never offered up Jar o’ Beef, Momma or a bull ridin’ Abe.
Liz(Yes, I’m Canadian)bot on Biebs Twerpiest…:Hey, we had to suffer through your Miley’s and Britney’s and Christina’s…but yeah, I’ll give it to you. Justin evens the score! But the deal is that you have to keep him.
NotWithoutMyTV on RHOC: “Talkative” is one description. “Unlanced boil” is another.
Labowner on Toddlers & Tiaras Elbows…: I am going to assume there is a lot of exaggeration going on.
Dashley on Big Bro…Grandma: My inner feminist rage gets stoked because both Jessie and Kaitlin are the girls who love to announce “Other girls don’t like me, I don’t usually get along with them,” and wear it like a badge of honor. If other girls don’t like you, it’s not because you’re too pretty for them, it’s because you’re an asshole.
Jimbob Jones on Racist Butter…:They have plenty of sites to get unbiased news about that stuff. Think about it… Fox N… um, CN… oh, dear, MSN… Oh, crap. All of those outlets are less trustworthy for news than Comedy Central, so maybe we SHOULD cover news here.
TurtleGirl93 on Toddlers & Tiaras Mini: Why do the moms seem to think they have to go all Real World confessional whenever they are alone on camera?
Sarcasatire on Racism Butter…: Welp..Target went from “evaluating the situation” to “let’s abandon this sinking ship!” So, the longer this stays in the news…the more entertaining it gets. *chuckles*
Sarcasatire on Old Guys, Arnold and Sly Have New…:What are Arnold and Stallone in prison for, peddling Geritol?
Aaaaand… Oh, so this is Prison Break, the movie..reenacted by the residents of Shady Pines Retirement Village.
Aaaaand.. This is a movie where I’m sure the body doubles spent more time on set than the actual actors.
LAC on Princesses: Erica – you know that theory that confidence makes you more attractive? Ok, that is not a workable theory anymore…thanks!
Madelyn27 on Dance Moms: What’s PA? Is it a state? I live in Florida and we have Casey Anthony and George Zimmerman. I have no concept of the rest of the country. Except I think PA has the Amish people. Why don’t they ever comment? Fkers.
Pyper on Toddlers & Tiaras Mini: And poor Ma (apostrophe silent) Leeh, my heart broke for her. If her mom wasn’t knocked up, I would have loved to knock her out.
Plockness Monster on Alec Baldwin: I don’t know what’s better about this story – picturing your mom bolt out of the front door with a large piece of wood, or the phrase “primal rage piñata.” Either way, both are better than Alec Baldwin’s irate tweets. Bravo, WB!
Sweetcakes on Toddlers & Tiaras Mini: Well, as they say, love really is blind. If Brooklyn is “facially gifted” as her mother says, then I am the fucking Queen of England. That kid is one homely bugger! Ma’Leeh’s mother, you are a disgusting child hating bitch.
Itchy on Whodunnit: I haven’t read the recap yet (I still need to watch the episode) but I just wanted to point out that you were one word away from the Holy Hatrick: You quite nearly referenced Star Trek, the Bible AND Sound of Music in a single paragraph!