catburns

Gay baby advocate
  • Aunt Dorsey

    Do they sell lingerie in the Burqa section of Lane Bryant?

  • TJD

    I want to know who the he/she is that Jason’s brother had his arm around at the wedding??? He has questions? Well, so do I! I think these brides (and groom) should have looked up “American nerd” in Wikipedia before committing themselves because once they discover the truth it’s going to be WAY TOO LATE!

  • Semi

    My people! And you even have Disqus. Thank you for this early Christmas present.

    This show is a train wreck. I love it. Of course, not much to be said that isn’t glaringly obvious to everyone already. But…since when has that stopped me?

    Amy and Danny: I think Amy could’ve done better. I can only hope they are able to move away from his family since his family seems low-class and crass. Amy and her family seem refined and intelligent.

    Mo and Danielle: The cherry on top of everyone’s snark sundae. Is she blind, or ‘dumb’ as a fox? Which is the one trapped and which is the hunter? It is difficult to tell. I do think he has plans to dump her asap and bring over his whole family and find a 20 year old virgin to wed. (Better import her, too, then…)

    Chelsea and Yamir: Why is everyone in their life making such a fuss about ‘his career’? Small market, auto tune. He was no great shakes, sorry, and he’s not getting younger. Be a music teacher in the Midwest and raise lots of little Spanish speaking sunflowers.

    What’s his name and Evelin: She is the prettiest of all of the brides and again seems to outclass her American husband. I hope they will be happy.

    Brett and Daya: He couldn’t possibly be more estrogen dominated if he were in a birth control factory. He needs some male friends! Other than her entitlement tantrums her first day, she seems fairly normal, and they are an otherwise uneventful couple.

    Spitfire and Ebay: I hope they have a passel of underbite having, pop eyed kids. Just so they can sell them on Ebay as collectibles. KIDDING!

    So what did you all think?

  • Irishkate

    I’m pretty sure it’s a (severely outdated) play on the chapelle show closing credits, “I’m rich, bitch” from around 2004.

  • Irishkate

    OMG, I’ve been obsessed with this show for weeks, and kept checking here for a recap. It’s a festivus miracle!

  • Guest

    My guess is that Jason signed up for the show hoping that his Facebook bride and Swiffer Dad and he would finagle their own shown on TLC similar to Pawn Stars or American Pickers where they would find rare Pez Dispensers among orphaned Tupperware lids and empty L’Egg’s pantyhose containers at trailer park estate sales. It won’t happen – Jason doesn’t have the charisma or likability for his own show and once you have seen Jason spray-sneeze, expose his pasty white skin in an unflattering bathing suit and get drunk and slurr-babble in a hotel bar, it cannot be unseen.

    Danielle is hoping her marriage will hold out long enough for her 25th high school reunion so that she can stroll in with her Tunisian Love Rat husband hoping that all of the popular girls who didn’t get pregnant while in high school like she did will swoon over Mo and display jealousy over her man. Yep, those gals who snagged college educated professionals who live in the suburbs in their McMansions will certainly be jealous that she married a man who finds her repulsive and will split the second he gets his Green card in the mail. Keep dreaming the dream, Danielle -without dreams,how could one lead a deluded life?

    Will Danny pursue a career as a minister? I can see him as a hip youth pastor and he and Amy leading Mission trips to Africa to build wells and affordable houses. Sister-in-law Heather will start a party planning business (Amy will help) which will be very successful in in their neck of Pennsylvania. Danny and his brothers’ band will get more weekend gigs as a result of the 90DF exposure, as well and will do a rockabilly version of the song “Like a Virgin”.

    Justin and Evelyn will find that their giant champagne glasses don’t fit in their apartment kitchen cupboards so they will need to find a larger apartment. As soon as Evelyn gets her green card, she will find a job teaching dance at a nearby dance studio. with dreams of opening up her own and will become Abby Lee Miller of “Dance Moms” newest nemesis.

    Chelsea and Yamir are hoping that his exposure on the show will propel his solo career in the U.S., especially since he still has the same manager he had in Nicaragua. Will he and Chelsea ever help her mom and dad scrape all of the chipped and flaked paint on their house and garage and prime and paint it in a tasteful color? Will Yamir take a job at the meat packing plant or will he become a wedding singer along with a tambourine playing,gypsy skirt wearing Chelsea? Stay tuned.

    Brett and Daya will redo their vows and yes, his mother will be there. Brett will consider an offer to model and promote a line of lipstick and lip gloss for men called “Masculips”. Daya will release a Youtube single of the song “Tequila, baby!” and will give birth to a little girl named Diamond (“Dia” for short.)

  • c8h10n4o2

    I’ve also seen that one of the reasons that Mo left was that Danielle’s son assaulted him and there’s a DV case pending against him. Danielle is just creepy. Like Annie from Misery creepy. She turns those tears off and gets assertive pretty damned fast on their wedding day as soon as there aren’t cameras filming but their mikes are still on.

  • Ahh, thanks for that catch! I watched the episode twice and still didn’t get it.

  • sagittariuskim
  • sagittariuskim

    I’ll try to find the thread and link it. It was pretty interesting.

  • sagittariuskim

    I was just embarrass for her but then I decided they were both trying to scam each other.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    “You can’t introduce a man to your kids, no matter how old, and then tell them that they love him. I just found her overall upsetting.”

    Ahhhhh, you can—if your name is “Mama June.”

  • Aunt Dorsey

    I’m thinking the same, after I put in my weekly call to Comcast to tell them “On Demand” isn’t fucking working again.

  • lovelyval

    So excited to read this! I’ve been watching all season and was hoping someone would recap it! Thank you!! Yes, I get the gay vibe from Danny too. Danielle seems super manipulative and unstable (when she was off camera in her bedroom with Mohammed, you could totally hear the nasty tone she took with him, victim on camera only). Justin seems like a big baby, Jason scares me.. but I haven’t seen the last episode yet so I’ll wait before posting all thoughts 🙂

  • Churble

    I didn’t know all of that about Danielle, but I couldn’t feel bad for her. She seemed super manipulative and whiny and VERY needy. The thing about “He left behind 3 girls who love him” made me so uncomfortable, because it was right before a shot of her three girls very clearly not loving or missing or worrying about him. You can’t introduce a man to your kids, no matter how old, and then tell them that they love him. I just found her overall upsetting.

  • Churble

    I didn’t understand Jason and Cassia’s shirts until the vows, when he said I, “Jason Hitch” and I thought ok, so you think you’re being clever. Got it.

  • CatBurns

    Ooo good info on Danielle, she seems to consistently make some bad decisions. Bad for her but good for TV.

    Justin’s sister in law was waaay too into him and I think jealous she didn’t get to drink out of the giant glasses at the wedding.

    Ya Amy is way too good for Danny. And his father seems like an awful person who would have tried to beat the gay right out of him or something equally awful if he had come out of the closet. The father seems like a bad person.

  • itchy

    I’m going to watch this trainwreck just because of your recap. So… thanks?

  • sagittariuskim

    Don’t feel too bad for Danielle. Somebody on IMDB discovered that she has a nice little history of credit card and check fraud. And it seems they were evicted after the show and Mohammed left. So instead of trying to keep a roof over her kids’ heads, she goes and buys a boy toy who left her.

    Poor Amy should have ran. I’m surprised she didn’t run after meeting his creepy brother. I think Danny’s gay too. Seeing his backwards views on race, you can imagine how he would feel about having a gay son.

    I feel like Justin’s sister in law wanted him, didn’t get him, so she settled for his brother. And now if she can’t have him no one can.

  • RockinGma

    He’s a moron for marrying Daya and Mohammed ran cuz you don’t want to see THAT naked….he couldn’t even kiss her! What people won’t do for a green card!