We did it, Trashii Talkers! We made it through the season, we kept our snark protected, we made it through the season, we kept on being rude, we made it through the season and found ourselves infected by Jeff Probst’s view….I wish he’d screw….himself in the poo(pershooter)….
No, no, merely shitty.
Sorry, Trashii Talkers. I just can’t help myself sometimes. Be glad I occasionally edit myself because there was about four more rhymes here before I cut them out. It’s my Christmas present to you! Mazel Tov!
Anyway….there are three hours of TV to get through (four if I count the OUAT recap I have to do after this one) and dicking around with rhymes ain’t gonna get it wrote!! So on to the show!!
We start where we always do in these finale shows…with an extended recap of the entire season. You know, for those people that just decided to start watching now. Or ones with memory issues…
Once that is over, we pick up with Kissyermama returning to camp after the booting of Hayden. Ceira is disappointed that things didn’t go according to plan, but she’s holding out hope that her challenge beast mama will kick ass in the next truel and rejoin her in the game. They’re gonna kick some ass when that happens. No matter what the numbers say.
Tyson tells us he knows that going to the end with Monica and Gervase is his best shot at winning. He’ll even use the hidden immunity idol to keep Monica loyal to him if he has to.
He tells her she can have it since he’s not planning on using it; have it as a souvenir for her kids or whatever. Monica refuses to take it, telling Tyson it’s his; he found it. He’s really worried that whoever comes back from Pissed Off Island will woo Monica over to their side.
For her part, Monica tells us that Monica is not Tyson and Gervase’s lap dog. She’s a big dog, yo! She’s open to staying with Tyson and Gervase OR switching sides.
Meanwhile, Hayden arrives at Pissed Off Island where Tina and Laura aren’t thrilled to see him since they were hoping to see Tyson, Gervase, or Monica. Hayden tells is this is the second time he’s played a game like this and the first time he’s been voted out and he no likey.
Laura gets some good news though as Hayden tells her that Ceira pulled out an immunity win. Woo hoo! The three of them all talk about how one of them is gonna get to go back into the game and they all hope they make it into the final three. Hayden hopes it will be him and he thinks his chances are good given that he’s playing against two grandmas.
Speaking of getting back into the game…it’s time for the final truel!
Once everyone is in and settled, Jeff gets to explaining how this last truel will work. They are each going to have one foot at the end of a balancing board (or see saw). At the other end of the see saw is a vase. When the vase falls they are out. Simple enough, right?
Almost immediately, Laura is in trouble. She’s having trouble keeping balanced and her vase is wobbling around. But somehow she manages to keep it from falling. Naturally Jeff can’t help but talk about how much it would suck for her to lose now after dominating so much in all the other truels. I think she’d love to flip him off but knows she needs to focus.
As Jeff comments about how hot it is, Hayden wipes some sweat from his eyes. Laura is in trouble once again, hopping around trying once again to keep her vase from falling….and she does it.
WOW. I’m impressed. As Hayden wipes at his eyes once more he slips and just like that…he is out and joining the jury.
Once that happens Laura begs Tina to let her have the win.
I mentioned it in the minicap, but I am floored that Laura would ask Tina to throw away her game for her. I mean I get that Laura helped her against Vytas, but that wasn’t for the last shot to get back into the game. Did Laura really think Tina would just step down and let her have it???
At thirty minutes in Tina is starting to have trouble, but like Laura before her, she is able to save it. Laura then begins moving again, and this time she just can’t recover. Her vase falls, and Tina is going back into the game!
Before Hayden leaves, Jeff asks him what his takeaway is from his time on Survivor. It’s appreciating the people he has at home. Even if one of those people is a girlfriend who couldn’t even make it to the jury. He’s excited to get back home and tell everyone he loves them.