Finals night on The Voice, Trashies. Carson pumps us all up and introduces Jacquie Lee, Will Champlin, and Tessanne Chin. They all look lovely, don’t they? Flashbacks allll the way back to the Blind. Adam says that Tess is one of the best singers ever and Will is gifted. Xtina says Jacquie’s a star and can do it all. Adam and Xtina smack talk each other and I just want them to kiss already.
It’s OK, Adam, she’s hot again
Adam, Blake, Ceelo and Xtina are joined on stage by “some” members of Def Leppard. Adam takes the first line, then Blake joins in. Ceelo is next then Xtina comes in and wipes the floor with everyone. I see Phil Collen, guitarist of Def Leppard, up there and yup – that’s really the one-armed drummer, Rick Allen. I’m mesmerized by Ceelo’s red rain boots. That man knows how to sex up a stage, I tells ya.
What are we going to do Carson? He tells us that each contestant will sing three songs – 1) a repeat of their blind audition song; 2) a duet with their coach; 3) a song picked by the judges.
PART ONE: BLIND AUDITION REMIX
Tess is up first and she sang “Try” by Pink for her blind audition. Adam tells us all how awesome Tess is and he says how proud he is of her.
We see Tess singing out in the audience making her way to the stage. Oh, Tess – that is an unfortunate jumpsuit you’re wearing but you sound wonderful and I covet your shoes. She sounds great, as usual, but I remember liking her audition better than this performance.
Carson comes out and gives Tess a big hug. Adam tells Tess how much he enjoyed working with her and congratulates her on being a cool person. That was nice! Ceelo says she’s a fan favorite and he’s impressed with her professionalism and talent.
Sprint Pimpbox and let’s ask Carson questions, shall we? How come the coaches never switch chairs? Cut to all the judges sitting in everyone else’s spot – Adam says Blake’s chair smells like booze and Blake comments on how everyone else is a bunch of shorties. Adam – did you pick up a Jamaican accent being around Tess? No mon. Happy birthday, Xtina – any plans? Nope – she doesn’t drink anymore and noticed that she had a kid once the booze haze left.
Will is up next and he sang Gavin DeGraw’s “Not Over You”. Adam talks about how resilient Will’s been throughout the competition.
Soft blue spotlight over Will and the song starts up. He’s been listening to Adam because he’s been more animated in the first few lines of this song than he has been the whole time he’s been on the show. Good boy.
Adam’s a proud poppa and we get to see Will’s adorable baby daughter out in the audience. Adam tells us all that Will’s a hard worker and didn’t question himself being this season’s pinball with all the judge saves and all of that. Xtina is soooo skinny! She tells Will she can tell he overthinks just like she does and she’s very happy for him that he didn’t let that get to him and mess with his performances.
Xtina was captivated with Jacquie’s big BIG voice coming out of her super tiny little body.
Jacquie looks faboo in super high heels and sounds even better. The Beatlesque guitar players on the round podiums is a nice touch to this 60’s twinged song. She gets a bit screechy at the end but I liked it, anyway.
Xtina loves Jaquie and enjoys watching her up there and tells us Jacquie’s family is awesome. She hints about the duet they’ll be doing later and says that Jacquie makes her look forward to seeing her and she nails it every time. I’m so distracted by Xtian’s boobs again. She talked so much no one else got to say anything. Ha.
PART TWO – DUET WITH JUDGES
First up, Adam and Tess. They’ll be singing “Let It Be” and this might be great. Rehearsals and Tess can’t believe her good luck and she likens being in the same room with Adam is like looking into a future she’s always wanted. Awwww…love this girl.
Piano opens to Adam and Tess standing together on stage. Tess in a gown, Adam in his suit looking hawwwt. What a great song choice to show off Tess’s voice – Adam sounds good, too. I’ve always thought Adam’s voice was slightly nasally but it works for this tune. Tess is crazy good. Adam impresses me with his guitar licks. Then they just have to go give the song a Jamaican “flavor” and I laughed out loud at Adam’s attempt at a Bob Marley singing accent. Thankfully, that lasted about 30 seconds and they close the song out.
Next is Xtina and Jacquie. Jacquie’s in rehearsals with her mom and Xtina sitting in the mixing room and Jacquie tells the story of how her dad told her that if she gets judges to turn in the blind auditions and one of them is Xtina that she better pick her. Cute. They’ll be singing “We Remain”.
Crystal chandeliers abound! Xtina in a red dress working it like her rents due. She takes the first few lines and then out comes Jacquie, also in a red dress, and they hold hands and sing to each other. There is lots of hugging. I flinched a few times for Jacquie – she really needs to master that lower register STAT. I didn’t love this and was slightly disappointed, truth be told. Whew – that was a little rough.
Up now is Will and Adam and they’re lounging talking about how crazy it is. Loco! They’re going to do “Tiny Dancer” together and rehearsal reveals that they’re going to sound pretty good together. They touch on Will’s musical family and Adam says he can relate since his parents were music enthusiasts.
Adam opens up with the first few lines and Will takes the next few. I’m surprised more by the fact that Adam sounds really good singing Elton John as I did not peg his voice to match up too well with the mighty Elton. Well, shut my mouth. Will, of course, sounds excellent. I like that he mellowed on this and just let if flow. Great job.
Sprint Pimpbox Part Deux. A texter wants Blake’s permission to use his face on a birthday cake. Viewer says that the cake maker won’t do it because his mug is copyrighted so will he say OK to the birthday boy? No, but he’ll put his actual face into a cake for them.
As long as it’s RUM cake. Ba-dum-bum.
Top Three SingALong is “I’ll Be There”. Will starts off shaky, Jacquie is flat and Tess is perfection. They slowly walk towards each other from different points on the stage and meet in the middle. Each one gets a portion to sing throughout the song and all sound quite wonderful. Being real: Tess is just in a different league than Jaquie and Will and should be the winner. No question.
PART THREE – LAST CHANCE
Tess wrap up: She was a backup singer for Jimmy Cliff, auditioned with a Pink song, Adam love, clips of Tess being awesome, more judge love, number one on iTunes. Adam gives Tess “I Have Nothing” by Whiteny Houston. Tess is nervous to do Whitney but I bet she freaking nails this shit to the wall. By the way Adam’s jumping around, we’re in for a treat.
The stage is dark until the first few trumpet blasts and we see that Tess is in a really flattering red dress. My GOD she sounds so perfect. The drama is inched up a few when the backdrop disappears as Tess starts really getting to the meat of the chorus. Nice touch. Goofy audience arm waving is back in force for this performance. Adam is so happy with Tess it’s adorable. Seriously, Tess is going to win, right? That was pretty great.
Carson wonders if Adam is speechless and he’s not. He acknowledges the greatness of Whitney and how this could have gone so badly for her. He says he doesn’t know what the ceiling is for Tess because she can truly sing anything. Vote for Tess, while you can!
Will’s next reminiscing on his time here. Dad’s in the band Chicago, intense battle rounds, Will ping-ponging off Team Adam then back on Team Adam, live shows, rendition of “At Last” which was awesome. Adam gives Will “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams. Rehearsal tweaking and off we go…
To Will standing amongst some Greek columns flanking the stage. Will’s wearing this really great snake skin jacket and he’s singing his heart out. We see his wife and child out in the audience and his kid is so cute I might just vote for him because I like her headband. He ends the song by going to them and giving them a kiss. Great performance from Will.
Carson asks Adam if he went big and delivered and Adam answers yes. He weirdly says he “kind of” considers this a victory (kind of?) before pointing out will’s daughter is crying so we get a shot of her looking cute as a button. Adam says Will’s already won just being in the final three and says who cares if he doesn’t win the whole enchilada because he’s standing on that stage right now. Even Adam knows Tess has it in the bag. Oh! We get to hear from Blake. Blake says this performance was interesting because this was a reserved performance compared to some of his other over the top performances. He says he was solid and this was a good strategy. Vote for Will, while you can!
Jacquie’s walk down memory lane and she tells us she was freaking out that no one turned for her in the blind auditions until the end. We learn Blake had zero chance since she’s such a huge Xtina fan, battle rounds, Xtina cheering her on, Ceelo calling her an old lady, rehearsals. Xtina gives Jacquie “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” because her voice is so beyond her years.
Jacquie’s bathed in red light as she starts up really, really strong. This girl’s voice is so powerful and Xtina made an excellent choice with this one for our little teenager. Jacquie looks very beautiful and is knocking this right out of the park. I’m loving her passion and WOW that note she hits gave me a bit of a chill.
Xtina has three minutes and has to wait for the crowd to calm down before she can speak. Xtina can’t believe how much talent she has as a sixteen year old. She tells Jacquie that she has what it takes to be a superstar and tells her this is her moment. Xtina imagines an “All About Eve” moment in their future. That would be so great. Blake talks about her evolution on the show and calls her amazing and thinks that her and Xtina is one of the best coach/contestant pairings on the show ever. Vote for Jacquie, while you can!
All I know is that this is a two-horse race between Tess and Jacquie. My money’s on Tess but Jacquie could sneak up and win this thing. Tomorrow is the TWO HOUR finale. UGHHH…two hours? See you all tomorrow and pray for my carpel tunnel.