Hey guys! It’s season 11 and it started off with a whimper. Everyone’s basically doing the exact same thing as last season except Porsha did a Freaky Friday switch with Kenya and now she has the latter’s storyline.
Porsha is dating a guy who’s her height when he stands on his wallet. He sells wieners for a living, she catches them for a living – it’s the perfect match. He also owns hookah clubs so I’m sure this newfound medium profile relationship isn’t advantageous to him at all.
They go shopping for engagement rings that cost as much as half a million dollars. The diamonds are bigger than the hush puppies at OLG and Porsha’s as giddy as a schoolgirl who doesn’t realize that “F” isn’t short for phenomenal. She’s practically begging this man to propose but he’s totally down with it so I guess it’s good. They’ve only been together for five months so this is feeling like Tom and Luann 2.0. Also, I got engaged to someone after 6 months and that crashed and burned so…good luck and get a pre-nup.
NeNe and Gregg are going through the rigors of cancer. They found out about it on “Cinco de Maya” which is the day she read five Maya Angelou poems in Spanish. They have a prayer group and they say lots of encouraging things to him.
Kandi is still busy as ever. She and Todd are entertaining having more kids since they have two embryos left but Riley tells them that they’re never around. Todd’s justification is that they are able to provide a certain lifestyle so they have to accept being raised by DonJuan and Momma Joyce on her lucid days. Also, Riley has lost many pounds and I’m officially jealous of a teenager.
Cynthia is dating Mike Hill, a sports broadcaster. She’s a little less awkward than she was with Will but they’re in a long distance relationship. Noelle likes him and Cynthia admits to letting him swim in her cool waters. I’m not sure if that means he borrowed her cologne, fell into her lake while leaf blowing or if they had sex. I bet it’s all three. Simultaneously.
Eva has had her baby and she does a photo shoot with her fiance and the kids. She says that the difference between her modeling and Cynthia’s is twenty years. I’m guessing that they told her to spice things up this season. Either way, it’s not cool. Put her in Juicy sweatpants and a trucker hat and I couldn’t distinguish Eva’s current photo shoot from her ANTM days.
Porsha visits NeNe at her boutique to offer support in the form of twerking. It seems to work. Porsha mentions that she’ll be in Miami for her birthday so she’ll see NeNe at her non-Uber sponsored comedy show. Later, Porsha extends the invite to all of the women and they all agree to surprise NeNe. Kandi was less than thrilled to hear from Porsha but she’ll leave her kids in a heartbeat if it means she’ll get more security cam footage of DonJuan Mrs. Doubtfire-ing his way through the weekend.
Cynthia doesn’t know how she’ll keep this trip a secret from NeNe so when they speak she quickly tells NeNe that she has to get on a conference call. The Bailey Agency landlord wants to know if he should board up the windows from the inside or the outside.
Kandi and her group members are winning an ASCAP award. The group wants to know the most important details e.g what kind of food will they be serving. Ace goes to the event even though it’s at night and he’s a baby because she doesn’t know anything about her baby. Donjuan is clearly annoyed and says that Todd is nowhere to be found since he went to get a drink. In Todd’s defense, it’s hard for him to see over the bar and get the bartender’s attention. It takes him a while.
Meanwhile Porsha’s man has chartered a private plane to fly them to Miami. Her hair is Season 3 Kandi red and her outfit is “Black people love a white party” white. Dennis seems annoyed that they’re running late. She’s hoping that he’ll propose this weekend so she’s going to wear white the entire time in the hopes that he’ll be blinded and unable to see the price tags when they go shopping.
On the way to the hotel, Porsha asks if Dennis knows Kandi. He says that he does but is really sketchy on the details. I think Porsha already knows this and is playing along because it’s part of the plot. There’s no way she’s just going to let this slide. Unless she wants the ring that badly – which she does. Anyway, they get to the hotel and after spending an inappropriate amount of time in the bathroom rattling off his stats to her sister (no kids, no wives and a lifetime supply of penis shaped mystery meat?!), Porsha exits the bathroom and is presented with a jewelry box. We’ll have to tune in next week to see if it’s an engagement ring or a new diamond encrusted hookah for his club that he’s definitely not going to promote.
Next week, we’ll see the conclusion of the box opening and the girls will surprise NeNe. What’d you think? Love you for reading and commenting!
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