Mark and Nikki (totes my fav couple!)
Nikki is about to arrive in the United States and it is the best day of Mark’s life! He put a handmade poster board on his front door with tape and packed some nice chocolate in a basket to greet her with at the airport. Mark tells us that even though this is his second teenage K1-visa Filipino bride, Nikki is very special and DEFINITELY the girl for him. I feel bad for this girl; either she knows Mark is a complete loser with a “piano rental business” or thinks that he is some successful older man that will take care of her forever. Either way, the Philippines must really suck for her to agree to leave her family and everything she knows in order to marry this creepy idiot. He doesn’t even let he touch the car windows in the car ride after picking her up at the airport. Cmon Mark, marriage is about compromise, let Nikki touch the windows.
When they arrive at Mark’s apartment, she gets the grand tour of his home including his view of the water. Nikki likes his house and agrees to stay in his bedroom with him because “being intimate with Mark is very beautiful”. Gross. Nikki has her doubts though when she runs into pictures of Mark and his ex-wife around the house. That’s weird, I agree with Nikki. Nikki is all like, that picture is from 1987, I wasn’t even born yet. Burn!! Take that Mark and your old ex-wife.Mark hands Nikki a USA t-shirt for bedtime ::hehe:: and they cuddle into his repulsive Zebra bedding.
The next day Mark replaces all the photos of his ex-wife with pictures of Nikki. Smart move Mark. Mark informs us that this is also the day that Nikki and his daughter Elise will meet for the first time. Elise is the best. I think Nikki and Elise should team together and get their own place without Mark. Before Elise arrives, Mark puts a ton of pressure on Nikki to make the relationship with his daughter work. But we have to wait until next week to see Elise shake it up…
Josh and Aleksandra
Josh is driving a Chevy crossover around Idaho with his new fiance Aleksandra. He asks her about the differences between their home towns and she says,”everything is different”, duh. Aleksandra is staying with Josh’s Grandma until the wedding night to keep the two virtuous. Aleks will have a curfew of 11 PM every night, which isn’t that bad when you’re an engaged to a Mormon in Idaho. I mean, you can only cuddle for so long after dinner.
Aleksandra and Josh meet up with his whole family for a BBQ. His father is very judgmental about “Russian” wedding traditions such as “eating, drinking, dancing”, which is every cultures wedding traditions and just silly. People who are scared about dancing have real issues if you ask me.
Aleksandra is enjoying her last 90 days of “freedom” at Josh’s Grandma’s home before she has to become Josh’s slave wife. She is getting used to dressing Mormon style but I don’t know if that includes the super Holy under-roos Mormon’s wear everyday. Again, Aleksandra is way too good for Josh and lovelyval totally called it- Aleks is the only girls in the world that hasn’t seen Boys Don’t Cry staring Josh’s doppelganger Hilary Swank. Josh also reminds me of a young Jim Bob Duggar in a bad way. At lunch, Aleksandra and Josh reminisce about the first time she met him and how she was dressed like a bad person, which I think is impossible unless you are legit wearing a Nazi uniform. Hmm run Aleks!
Devar and Melanie
Ahhh Melanie and Devar. I loved that our commenters totally called Melanie out about lying about her age worse than Beyonce. This week TLC starts by showing us some home videos of Melanie “picking” up Devar in Jamaica before they return home to the United States and start their new life together. Devar is sporting a wife beater that might be from Target and Melanie is in super tight work out clothes. They are not wearing embarrassing comfy yoga or track suits- is it like they boarded the plane from the gym in very tight clothing. After they two get into Melanie’s car, she informs Devar there are no beaches or crocodiles in Pennsylvania. Just a pond, but ot a pond with spearfishing. Devar looks like he misses Jamaica already.
In his interview/confessional session, Devar lets us know that he is a little bit worried about the stepfather role he will be taking on to Melanie’s son Hunter as well as what Melanie’s family and friends will think about him. Back in real time, Melanie pulls her car up to her home and tells Devar that her friends, family and Hunter are all inside her home waiting to meet him for the first time. They enter the house through a slider, like a side glass door in the family room, which is weird. All the ladies in the room give Devar a big kiss as well as a nice hug and a couple back rubs.Melanie’s friends are kind of a mess, huh? Lots of sandwich-ey girls and headbands.
Hunter is so cute and he can’t wait to meet the new man of the house. Hunter, you have all the power here dude!!! I guarantee everyone loves Hunter more than new-Daddy Devar. But Anyway, Hunter steals the show and gives Devar a tour of the home. He is so nice to Devar and seems like such a sweet kid. If Devar is mean to that kid I will personally kick his lifeguard wife beater wearing ass.. I’ve got my eye on you Devar!
That was is! What did you guys think?? Was is worth the wait to meet the new couple? Next week we get to hear what Elise thinks about Nikki, watch Loren freak out about her giant’s visa, and meet a new couple that has jealousy issues!!
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us onFacebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get the occasional gif on Tumblr!