Hello Trashtalkers!!! I am loving this show. Just like last season, the foreigners are way too good for their American counterparts. Especially the women coming over to the States to meet up with the men. This time we got to meet one of the last two couples that will be embarrassed on TLC. By the way, the TLC little people and big fat people commercials are killing me. I am happy Whitney got a second season after all the Duggars’ drama but just being happy for Whitney makes me feel way too emotionally invested in these freak show TLC lives.
So without wasting any time, let’s meet the new couple and get to it.
Kyle and Noon
Kyle is the American, living and working as a bartender in New Orleans. He met Noon on his trip to Thailand and asked her to move to America with him. He says that she knows nothing about his lifestyle, job or country. He seems a little bit like a serial killer and pretty murdery if you ask me. He has a great disgusting roommate named Brian and they seem to enjoy the presence of cockroaches. Him and his roommate live in a shotgun style home, so they pass through each others bedrooms all day long to reach the bathroom and kitchen. They’re apartment also has a hammock as a legit chair/couch and lots of milk crates full of empty hygiene products.But the good news is the Kyle and Brian came up with a nice “Poundtown” code where Kyle tells Brian, “Brian don’t come in my room because it’s going down!” I like that even though they have been roommates for a long ass time in a shotgun home, this is the first time they had to agree on a sexy time code. All and all though, Brian does seem way like the way smarter and less murdery roommate out of the two of them. Noon should just marry Brian.
Kyle waited 9-months for Noon’s visa application to be approved and he is on his way to the airport to pick up his future bride. He is “overwhelmed with emotion!” LOL. His eyes are so red he is either trying not to cry or doing drugs on the reg. We finally meet Noon and she seems like she is extremely out of Brain’s league! Shocker- not. Brian continues his red eye tears and starting texting his roommate PoUnDtOwN ::eggplant eggplant happy face:: emoji as fast as he can type!
Alexei and Loren
Now in the beautiful city of Toronto, Loren can smack Alexei around in person as much as her bratty heart desires. She makes a passive aggressive statement when he doesn’t grab her purse for her when they are stepping out of their black uber town-car. They seem like they are off to a great start. They happy couple meet with Loren’s parents to discuss the future and everyone’s “concerns”. Loren and Alexei are going to live with her parents when Alexei arrives in the United States.
Walking the streets of Toronto, Loren wants to know what Alexei thinks about her parents. He thinks they are great and all, but let’s move to F out of there place as soon as we can. Loren isn’t as eager to move out of her parents home, she loves the fact she will be surrounded by family to help her mold Alexei into the husband and American man she wants him to be. But Alexei hasn’t even been approved for his visa yet so this is all just a bit premature.