Hello my people!!! How is everyone doing? Last week was a very stressful week to live in the good ole’ US of A, am I right? Everyone ready to decompress with a gaggle of betches who never take life- even the tiniest minutia of life- too seriously? Oh, wait, sorry I am talking about the wrong show. We are to talk RHOC not- Locked-up: Women Behind Bars. No, these are just women who sit their behinds at bars.
Eh, not the greatest pun, but it’s early, cut MisRed some slack. She’s still recovering from A Star is Born.
No joke, there was a woman hunched over the sink in the bathroom, unable to move, in tears. Apparently, the ending got to her. It’s the same ending in every other version of A Star is Born, but this time it’s Bradley Cooper. The whole movie, I just wanted to give Coop- that’s what I call him because we are buddies, you know- a bath. He did an amazing job of being sweaty and looking like he smelled like a mixture of whiskey, desperation, regret, multiple sessions of sweating and drying and cigarettes, with just a whiff of vomit. But go see it if you haven’t. Then you can be like MisRed and have The Shallow stuck in your head for days on end.
Back to people with considerable LESS talent and skill, the “ladies” (and I use that term loosely) of Orange County.
Shannon grabs her pork loin
If you will recall, last week, Shannon had a very successful appearance on QVC. QVC hung up on Vicki. Emily is pressuring the Turtle into having another baby. Gina is upset about her divorce and is unsure if she is making the right decision.
Great. Who cares? Let’s get started.
The show opens with a workout montage.
The quintessential workout montage
Over at Emily’s house, she and Gina are working out with a trainer named JaRon. His parents probably named him Ron, but he didn’t think that sounded cool enough.
Emily’s dog, I think his name is F*ckFace, is running around, getting underfoot- completely ruining the work-out. I love dogs, but you are paying this guy to work you out and your dog is underfoot being a little dick. Either the dog is going to get hurt or one of you is going to get hurt. Punt that little rat out into the back yard- or make The Turtle keep it occupied for 45 minutes.
We see Kelly working out, doing Pilates, which of course she is turning into “dirty, horny, cougar Pilates.”
That’s the rumor.
We see ARCHIE!!!!! Oh, and Shannon. Her trainer, Steven, is massaging her calf.
Shannon is wearing legging made from 50% Spandex, 50% Archie Fur.
Oh, and Shannon. Her trainer, Steven, is massaging her calf. It’s hard to see in this picture but her leggings are COVERED in dog hair. LOL
MisRed loves her some Archie, but whenever I see him, I think to myself… omg, all of that dog hair. MisRed used to housesit for 3 Goldens and they were beautiful- they also ate a raw diet, which was a little unusual back then- but the hair was INSANE. I used to keep my work clothes in my car and, no joke, get dressed in the driveway. Lint roller, you say? Uh, there is not a lint roller invented to handle that amount of hair.
Can you make mine with extra Windex? Thanks.
Emily offers to make Gina a smoothie… with some Windex and Whipped Chemical Dessert topping, currently being stored in the Fruit Bowl.
Not exactly fruit. Not exactly whipped creme either.
Gina says she is happy for Shannon’s QVC session, but still doesn’t really know Shannon- and Shannon has made no effort to get to know her. Emily says she texted Shannon before her QVC show, but Shannon didn’t text back.
Oh god, cue TEXT GATE from the RHONY. Have Bethenny pull out her texts and shove them in your face.
Gina says she has texted Shannon a couple of times too, and Shannon doesn’t text back.
Well Shannon has a PERSONAL CELL PHONE. Not sure if you knew that Miss 33-year old.
Both feel like they have to start over with Shannon every time they see her. They have to reintroduce themselves, etc. Emily is considering wearing a name tag. Gina interviews that Shannon is the sun and they are just revolve around her.
This blender sound should just be played over all of Gina’s dialogue.
Gina is trying to talk to Emily, but Emily keeps running the blender OVER Gina talking.
It reminds me of that Sandra Bernhard episode of Will & Grace where the blender drowns out Sandy’s curses. Oh, except this isn’t as funny.
Emily tells Gina she is going back to her fertility doctor because she has 9 embryos in storage. Oh, and she is also a lawyer, in case you forgot. The Turtle has made it clear he doesn’t want to have more children, but Emily wants her feral child to have a sister.
Did Nell have a sister? She seemed fine.
Emily says she is happy with the three kids she has- and they are so well behaved, and her household is not at all chaotic and the kids don’t sh*t everywhere and run roughshod all over the joint- but she just doesn’t know what to do about these 9 embryos.
If MisRed hears about these 9 goddamn embryos one more time…
Emily knows she can destroy them. But “The word destroy LITERALLY breaks my heart in half.” Perhaps a review of the word “literally” is in order before you feel qualified to make a decision as to what to do with these embryos. She is going to her doctor to discuss her options.
But seriously, she has 3 kids and 9 embryos- what did she think she was going to do? Have 12 children? I am sure this is heartbreaking, and I can’t imagine having embryos just sitting there. If it was MisRed, she would donate them to someone who needs them. Or donate them for research. Make an omelet, I don’t know. (Yes, I know embryos are different than eggs… it was a joke. A BAD joke. But a joke nonetheless.)
She should hook up with Tinsley.
Gina says she has decided what she is going to do with Matt. Oh good, because we don’t hear enough about this guy we’ve never met. Gina is going to rent a casita for the weekends, and she will just skedaddle whenever Matt comes home for the weekends, in an effort to not move the kids around. Emily says Gina isn’t mentally prepared to make a clean break with her husband and recommends Gina put a timeline to this arrangement, because they will need to make a break at some point. Gina is dragging her feet because she is scared.
Gina is bothered at the thought of being alone. She’s never been alone.
These two are boring. NEXT!
Meanwhile at Tamra’s she is making a pig’s ear of the English Language. Seriously, she and Vicki need to go to night school or something. She enters the kitchen and informs Eddie that Shannon is having a “celebatory” dinner that evening, so Tamra will be out. Eddie is like – THANK GOD, I mean, that’s too bad.
Sounds great. I’m just going to have a tall glass of this Thompson’s Water Seal and call it a night.
MisRed’s subtitles are giving Tamra the benefit of the doubt, but she is DEFINITELY mispronouncing CELEBRATORY. Eddie asks if Shannon is going to be celibate? Tamra says Shannon was celibate for most of her marriage.
Eddie decides, since they are on camera, to check his EKG. And he is in possible A-Fib. Shocking. Not literally.
My heart troubles coincided with my marriage to Tamra.
Tamra does her whole song and dance about Eddie being too young for this, blah, blah, blah.
Someone wrote on an OC live thread on Facebook last night “I wish Eddie would have a heart attack or get off the pot.” Yes, horrible sentiment, but I did LOL because it’s true. Not that we wish Eddie to have a heart attack, but if we are going to delve into this story, let’s DELVE into it. If they are trying to raise awareness for AFib then they need to do more than these random scenes. We delved deeper into Brooks’s fake cancer and Vicki’s Influenza B.
Hey, maybe it could be like one of those Thirtysomething moments… remember when we all thought Nancy was going to die from cancer but then Gary, randomly, just got hit and killed while riding his bike? Well in this scenario- let’s have Eddie be Nancy and Vicki can be Gary!
OKAY, too mean?
Maybe Vicki doesn’t have to die, but maybe she can be in a full body cast- unable to speak- for, like, 15 years and when Doctor Drake Ramoray removes her bandages… Vicki will be back to her ORIGINAL FACE.
It will be the first Drama/Comedy/Horror Reality Show
At Shannon’s house, she is preparing 17 pork tenderloins for dinner with the girls. I’m exaggerating, but she is making four tenderloins for seven people. Maybe two are for Archie!
Oh, she’s probably feeding her kids too. Okay, I stand corrected. Three tenderloins for human consumption, one tenderloin for Archie consumption.
Shannon is in a tizzy, so, yeah, her typical self. She doesn’t know why she suggested having this dinner, she just got back from Philly late the evening before. But Shannon enlists Caitlin (a hired server) to peel some ginger.
“I’m saving myself for Luke Perry.”
Caitlin is like… whatever, as long as it helps me get on The Hills, I’m down.
The Man of the House
The doorbell rings- ARCHIE goes to answer It, such a good boy. It’s Tamra… and she’s wearing two regular shoes. Great. What a story arc! Bravo!!!!
Shannon is walking around barefoot and Tamra asks her if she’s going to put shoes on? She’s like- no, it’s my house, and I walk around barefoot.
Tamra gives Shannon compliments on her hair and skin. Of course, Shannon just can’t say “Thank you,” she has to be like- “Oh, this is called my I didn’t have time to do it hair. And my skin is just PULLED BACK with the ponytail.”
The DIY facelift
Emily arrives- and Shannon thinks it’s Kelly. LOL. Have another Chopin, Shannon. Emily interviews that she has really made an effort to get to know Shannon but isn’t optimistic because Shannon didn’t respond to her text from her QVC appearance.
Shannon hugs Emily and says, “Hi, I don’t have shoes on because it’s my house.” Great. Thanks for sharing, Shannon. You know Shannon goes over and over this minutia in her head, later, when everyone is gone. Why did Tamra ask me about wearing shoes? Why did Emily sound like Kelly when she came in? Why did I arrange this dinner for tonight? Will my pork tenderloin be cooked? Why is David dating someone 20 years younger than me? Why is Stella so much taller than Adeline?
Gina arrives and is like “Oh my GAWD, I didn’t know she had DAWGS.”
She has one dog. And why does Gina not know this? MisRed demands Archie be the first topic of conversation at all events!
Gina compliments Shannon’s house.
Then Vicki arrives. She also compliments her home but says “It’s cottagey. It’s dainty.” She might have said “dinky.” My subtitles didn’t pick up either. But when I listen to it with my eyes closed- you know, so my hearing improves- I think she said “DINKY.” Maybe I’m making that up, but regardless, Vicki sucks.
Vicki looks like a bruise.
Oh F*ck all the way off, Vicki. Really? The house is great, it’s not COTTAGEY. It’s a 4,000 square foot house, it’s a decent size home. Just because Shannon doesn’t have a mold-infested faux-stone grotto, that’s probably a forensic scientist’s wet dream with all of the disgusting sh*t that has probably gone down there, doesn’t mean you need to size shame Shannon’s house.
Why is MisRed so upset? Vicki TRIGGERS me.
Kelly finally arrives, and she CAN’T BELIEVE Tamra is wearing shoes.
Wanna know how my day was? Or what my kids ruined today?
Gina tries to make small talk with Shannon- and Shannon isn’t really being mean or nasty, she is just being typical Shannon when she has no interest in speaking to the other person. Gina interviews that she is trying SO HARD to be nice to Shannon- but Shannon didn’t even ask Gina how her day was?
Gina is overreacting a little, in my opinion. You are at a home where the host has 4 other guests and is trying to get a meal on the table, cut her some slack that she isn’t solely focused on YOU and YOUR day.
The girls toast Shannon’s success. Vicki tells Shannon how she tried to order, but the call got disconnected.
QVC hates Vicki too.
Tamra suggests they take a girl’s trip. Vicki suggests the Caribbean- Tamra has never been to the Caribbean. They somehow decide on Jamaica. ??? Listen, I have nothing against Jamaica, but there are four or five islands I would visit before going to Jamaica. Especially if I’m going on someone else’s dime, but Bravo must have gotten some kind of deal.
Vicki announces, “The last time I went to Jamaica, I was with Donn.” She clarifies this is NOT where she renewed her vows.
Remember when Donn received his Dementors Kiss
She says, “I remember the people are super-friendly, and I remember going down this…there’s a river, you can go on this river, and you can do these—these river things and you go like this with a stick in the river.”
And you push the stick through some wet stuff.
It’s called a paddle, jackass.
Why is Vicki so dumb? “You go like this with a stick in the river.” Vicki’s life is like a game of Password and the rest of us are unaware we are playing.
It’s called RAFTING Vicki, you stupid, stupid sloppy hag.
Tamra says everyone in Jamaica is friendly because they are stoned. Shannon asks who hasn’t been to Jamaica. Kelly raises her hands and says, “I’ve been to the Bahamas.”
Not the same place, dear.
Kelly says she is looking forward to the food and the HERB.
Shannon goes to check on the dinner, and Tamra helps. Vicki asks Gina and Emily, “What about you two and babysitters?” I’m sure they can both figure it out, Vicki, they don’t need your advice, judgement or your broken moral compass to help.
Gina’s eyeshadow. Honey no.
Of course, Gina gets upset because she and her husband had been planning a trip to Cabo and Gina had bought a bunch of vacation clothes- and yes, she can use them on this trip, but it wasn’t the trip she was planning on taking. She was planning on taking a trip with her husband and now she isn’t, blah blah blah.
I have these expensive bikinis that are going to be wasted on YOU!!!
Vicki interviews “It’s obvious Gina still loves her husband and has feelings for him. Maybe she does have divorce remorse.” STFU. Many people LOVE the people they divorce. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you can be partners or create a life together.
Over in the kitchen, Shannon says she is finishing the dinner and is glad she isn’t involved in the conversation. She interviews that she likes Gina, but she needs to lower her expectations when it comes to this divorce. There will be head-butting. She and David initially decided they would be amicable too. Well, maybe Shannon decided that. But now they have pinned the needle on “the nasty-meter.”
Gina is really upset. She says she’s going to miss her in-laws, etc. Emily says she can’t imagine not having her in-laws. Gina says she met Matt when she was 22 and this is all she’s ever known. Emily says that – at 40 she is not the same person she was when she was in her 20’s.
Growth? What’s that?
Kelly informs us that she is EXACTLY the same person she was in her 20’s. She is still the most immature person on earth. Let’s celebrate arrested development and Kelly having no ability to grow or change, folks.
Dinner is served, seemingly NOT by the hired server, and Gina immediately goes to the bathroom to cry. Shannon keeps pestering everyone to sit down. Shannon is serving an experimental meal that she might do for her Fall line at QVC.
She’s more focused on her pork than on my lame divorce. Pfft.
Gina is still upset that Shannon isn’t paying more attention to her. She was just crying on her couch and I guess Shannon didn’t comfort her and she is upset about this?
Shannon says that she is so wound up all the time- then Tamra does her impression of Shannon being in a tizzy. It’s pretty funny. And then Vicki tries to do the imitation and…RECORD SCRATCH.
Vicki, when we need you, we will call you.
Vick, you are not cute. Stop trying.
Shannon’s point is, she is looking forward to a relaxing vacation “to Jamaica MON.”
Here’s to offending another country!
Well now you know the phrase Shannon will be YELLING on this trip.
Kelly and Jolie go back to the “Someone Cares” Soup Kitchen. They are not cooking, they are just going to serve food and to clean. It’s a sweet scene. Jolie gets upset at seeing these people who have nothing- especially the babies. She cries.
We have no idea where you got it? It can’t be from me or your Dad.
Kelly comforts her.
Let’s hope the health inspector isn’t watching.
But she is stroking her head with her gloved hand. Jolie touches her hair and wipes her tears…also with her gloved hand. I know I should see past the OBVIOUS sanitation violations and see the scene for what it is- showing us that despite being raised by wolves, Jolie is turning out okay.
They have to clean the soup kitchen and Jolie doesn’t know how to clean. Kelly realizes she never taught Jolie how to clean. She says she’s been lax as a parent in not teaching Jolie this basic skill. Seriously. Kelly you could have had Jolie cleaning your house this whole time, you dumbass.
Gina meets Kelly for a walk. Kelly has been reading about the history of Jamaica. MisRed is too lazy to look up whether it’s accurate or not. It seems reasonable for Wikipedia. They talk about Shannon and Kelly says it was hard for her to get to become friends with Shannon too. I mean, yeah, she had to call her a c*nt first. Maybe Gina should try that? It’s hard for Shannon to warm up to people. Gina interviews that this is NOT how friends work. It shouldn’t take this much time for someone to acknowledge Gina’s existence and for Shannon “to not be an asshole.”
Yeah, well, Gina will pay for THAT at the reunion, fo sho.
Kelly says once Shannon is your friend, Shannon gives 100% to the friendship. Yeah, just ask Tamra 4 episodes ago. Kelly thinks Shannon and Gina will become better friends once they’ve been on the trip together.
You know, or worse.
I get where Gina is coming from, but it’s a two-way street. If you want to get to know Shannon better, invite her for lunch or coffee. It doesn’t have to be completely up to Shannon to seek Gina out try to get to know her. Yes, I know you texted her and she didn’t text back. Friendships can take time to develop. AND Gina is a LOT younger than Shannon. I know, I have had people work for me who are 20+ years younger than me and I wonder how the f*ck they are still alive because they are so clueless. I can appreciate them, but it “would be have to be one charming mother*cking” 25 year old for me to want to befriend it.
Emily and The Turtle go to The Fig and Olive.
Come on, we can get you something from the Kiddie Menu
Their height disparity is almost comical. Turtle says he needs a booster seat. Well, at least he acknowledges it. Emily has just come from trying on bathing suits with Tamra “Who wants to do that?” Turtle says he does!! Gross.
Turtle needs his tiles re-grouted.
Emily tells The Turtle she is going to see the fertility doctor. Emily says she knows The Turtle isn’t on board with having another baby- but she is going to the doctor anyway.
We flashback to Emily talking to Turtle’s mom and she says Turtle always said he wanted 6 children.
Emily takes this as a sign. They already have FIVE kids, so they are SO CLOSE to having six.
Turtle says he doesn’t think it’s fair of Emily to be pushing him to have another baby, he has been honest about his feelings and he’s been polite about it. Emily says she could say the same, that she is upset Turtle isn’t being more open to having more kids.
Emily says she always wanted more than one girl. Turtle says he always wanted to be six feet tall but that’s not going to happen either. Turtle- take it one step at a time- wish to be FIVE feet tall and see how that goes.
Emily is like- but what do we do with the embryos? Emily says she feels sad to think about what will happen to the embryos. Emily says her sister was such a great surrogate, but she isn’t willing to be a surrogate again, so that’s another concern.
Emily says that her head agrees with Shane’s logic, but her heart doesn’t. I get it, but Emily and Turtle can’t even handle the kids they already have. Unless someone else is going to raise that extra kid, they shouldn’t do it.
Ok, you two, this is not a conversation to have on TV. The two of you need to go see a therapist and figure out a way to get on the same page. You are making US uncomfortable and we are the ones that really matter here.
Over at the house that Chavez-Lodge is trying to steal… Vicki and Steve the Crooked Cop and Faux Latino are making some food. Vicki tells us they are going to San Diego to spend the evening with Michael and his girlfriend, Danielle. Vicki then tells us “I’m 100% about family.” She says she and Steve have 6 kids between the two of them, and it’s important for them all to get along. Oh yeah, it sure is. So that things can be SUPER awkward when Steve dumps you and drains your bank account.
They are going to Michael’s house, but Vicki appears to be bringing all of the food. Steve’s daughter, Amanda, and her boyfriend arrive to go with them. Vicki says “Yeah, we are going on a family trip!”
Delusion, thy name is Vicki.
Be sure to add some fentanyl- my mother is coming over.
At Michael’s condo, he seems SUPER THRILLED Vicki is coming over. He makes sure the cocktails are good and strong to, you know, numb the pain of having Vicki as a mother.
Vicki interviews “I am so happy where Michael is in his life. He’s got a beautiful girlfriend, he’s a beautiful homeowner,”
A beautiful homeowner?!?!!? WTF does that even mean?
“and I’m just so proud of him. I mean, he’s the vice president of my company, and he’s doing fabulous.”
Imagine how proud she would be if he had accomplished any of those things on his own, without her handing them to him?
They go up on the rooftop, Vicki serves all of the food she brought.
Vicki, preaching to the rest of the group says “I love everybody right now. I’m so happy with my life.” Bullsh*t. “Isn’t it weird that none of us are married and we still love our partner?”
Steve- do us a favor and flip her off the roof.
Shut up Vicki. You are the only one that finds it weird.
No. It’s not weird at all.
And we all know you are parlaying that statement into a browbeating session as to why you and Steve are not yet engaged.
Pssst: He doesn’t love you. That’s why you aren’t engaged and married.
Steve’s daughter says that sometimes marriage ruins relationships. But Vicki disagrees because she’s a f*cking desperate, pathetic puppet who just wants a husband. Steve CCFL is squirming in his seat.
Vicki always makes every situation so comfortable.
She asks why he’s laughing? “I like to be married. I told you tight out of the gate, I’m not gonna date you forever.” Vicki thinks them getting married would set a good example for their kids and grandkids. “There has to be an end goal. If not, I’m going to carry on.” Yeah, right.
Oh, trust me, Steve has an end goal. It involves him changing his identity and fleeing the country with all of Vicki’s money. And Vicki is never going to CARRY ON. Brooks made her look like a fraud and a fool and she STILL chased after him and defended him FAKING CANCER.
Steve says he thought the end goal was to be happy? Vicki says she is happy… but she’s happier “with a ring on it.” Vicki says that between she and Steve, they have 6 kids and 6 grandkids- they have “a lot of eyes on us.” Trust me Vicki, nobody looks up to you. Nobody wants to be like you. It would be like aspiring to be a slug.
Here’s a NEW FLASH for all the Vickis of the world- and I hope to God there is only one: There is nothing WRONG with not being married. There is nothing WRONG with being married. There is nothing wrong with NOT having children. There is nothing wrong with having children if you can afford them. And by afford I mean: Time, Effort, Patience and financial means to suport. If you don’t have all of those things to give… maybe reconsider having a kid. LITERALLY. Also, Vicki, STOP getting married. You suck at it.
Then she tells Michael that his “window is closing.”
Perfect. So not only does Vicki have no grasp of the English language, but she also, apparently, skipped Biology 101 and Health Class. She was probably too busy having sex with multiple partners.
Vicki continues, “At 32 we should be pregnant. You too, Amanda.”
Michael eats chips while Vicki yammers.
Uh, who is WE?!?!?! Vicki, you have NOTHING to do with your children’s pregnancy. You are just kept around to pay for stuff.
Dani tells her that thy are just going to have a bunch of dogs. Yeah, she is afraid “The Vickis” will skip a generation and she will get a kid that will, well, be like Vicki. Who can blame her?
Emily heads to the fertility doctor with her in-laws that two of her rug-rats in tow. Emily says she strives to have a relationship like her in-laws.
Emily needs to find a new husband if THAT is her relationship goal.
Emily’s in-laws do everything together and are each other’s best friend. They have been married for 45 years and the Larry drives Pary to her shell appointments and waits for her. Emily hopes one day, Turtle will drive her to her hair appointments and wait for her.
Don’t hold your breath, because I can tell you already… he won’t.
The doctor comes out into the waiting room and asks Emily’s kids for a hug.
Aww, the poor kid has “Turtle Face.”
Emily goes into the doctor’s office and Pary goes with her. Apparently, Pary found Emily’s fertility doctor for her and used her Persian connection to get Emily in to the doctor immediately. Emily tells the Doctor the whole sitch with wanting another girl and Turtle not being on board, etc. The man is not a psychiatrist…
The doctor is like- hey, if you want another girl, we have tons of girl embryos. The doctor asks if Emily’s sister would carry the baby again and Emily says no. Emily asks if she could try carrying the baby? The baby that the husband doesn’t want. The doctor says no, she hasn’t been successful in carrying a baby to term.
Emily asks what her options are for the embryos. The Doctor tells her she can keep them in storage, you can donate them to science or they can do embryo adoption, or they can destroy the embryos.
The doctor says Emily and Turtle need to get on the same page. HELLO?!?! MisRed said that paragraphs ago! I could have saved you clowns your co-pay.
The doctor asks if Turtle is persuadable? Emily says she really needs to figure out what she really wants and then decide. So Emily is going to use Pary to try to manipulate Turtle. Turtle isn’t an idiot. He’s a dork, a twerp, a little pussy, and a loser, but he’s not an idiot. And we’ve already seen he has a short fuse. So this should go well. Cue the divorce in 3…2…1…
Uh yeah. Also, clear this storyline. MisRed is OVER it.
MisRed requires this cup, STAT.
Kelly and Shannon meet for a meal. They are both exhausted. What would Kelly be exhausted from doing? They talk a little about their trip to Jamaica and what they are planning to bring, etc. Shannon orders a light beer. And thinks “the cheesy tots” sound good. I don’t believe Shannon actually ORDERS the cheese tots though.
I love when Kelly looks like a blow-up doll.
Kelly says Psycho Mike came to the love shack and they watched a movie together and had a really nice time together and it was so good for Jolie. Shannon is like… uh yeah, that’s not going to happen with us.
Good for you. Unfortunately, I married Satan.
Yeah, Kelly’s husband is just a psychotic lunatic…he doesn’t hold a candle to Dave Jong Un. MisRed originally went with Grey-Haired Hitler, but I think this might be a little much. What do you think?
Shannon asks if Kelly has spoken to Gina about her emotional outburst at Shannon’s house. Kelly says Gina thinks Shannon is hard to get to know. Shannon disputes and is SHOCKED.
I START friendships, Kelly!
LOL. Shannon says she likes Gina but she’s 21 years younger than she is and isn’t sure they have a whole lot in common.
Shannon interviews that the only thing Gina has done with her is “stir the pot.” This doesn’t make Shannon particularly inclined to be friends. She says she doesn’t know either of the girls very well- and all Emily says is “Are we gonna see FUN SHANNON tonight?” Shannon is like… how about if we see FUN EMILY?!?!?!
You are going to be waiting awhile, babe.
You can’t. FUN EMILY doesn’t exist.
I smell Poo Emily exists.
I’m a lawyer Emily exists.
I’m going to kill you Emily exists.
Take your pick.
Kelly says, “Does she have a bad marriage, do you think?” Shannon is like- I’m not commenting, I’m keeping my mouth shut.
Next time- Jamaica. They offend the locals.
Jamaica, we apologize.
Did we learn nothing from Iceland?
Vicki is still on a watchlist there.
Tamra stirs the pot between Shannon and Emily/Gina, what a shock.
Yes, Tamra. Yes. It’s always something you said.
Ugh. Really? Is this the season with which we are to be saddled? Why does Andy Cohen hate us so??? What do you think of Gina’s Anti-Shannon campaign? Shannon is a lot to take, and yes, she is difficult, but Gina and Emily are getting along with everyone else, why are they so fixated on Shannon? Looks like there is a Shannon melt-down next week, so maybe we will make some progress. Well one thing is for sure- Archie, Jolie and little Walter are the heart of this sh*t show. As always, I love when you commiserate with MisRed in the comments. xoxox
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