We start with Alex’s aftermath to Matt’s OD’d ass. She’s got her head on the table while her mom and sister look on, asking how she is. She’s tired. Her mom seems surprised he’s using again. She’s fairly delusional. Her sister asks what will happen to him. (He’ll do this on and off for the rest of his life, sweetie.) Wendy tells Alex that she’ll never get child support. She won’t get a lot of other things either. They all feel bad for Bella. Alex sure knew how to pick em.
Briana is “moving on with her life”. So she accomplishes this by going out with her mom and sister and Nova, again. Brittany is on a diet so she can’t eat the fried foods. Briana says Nova wrecked her body. Brittany says, “that’s what happens when you have a baby”. (Unlike the brain wreckage that an abortion causes your brain.) Briana wants to go back to school, but apparently she doesn’t have a driver’s license. WTF? What adult doesn’t have their license unless they have a driver. Oh, I guess Briana does. Her mom. Cut the umbilical cord already. Brittany agrees to not attend college this summer so that she can watch Nova while Briana goes to school. Briana and Roxanne are shocked. “Just because I had an abortion, doesn’t mean I can’t be around babies, yo.” Um, yeah… tell that to your fetus. While I find this incredibly giving of Brittany, SPOILER ALERT… she lasts about a day.
Katie is still/again/always mad with Joey because he didn’t fulfill her dream to become a princess. It’s almost Father’s Day, but she doesn’t feel like doing anything special for him. Shocker. She is supposed to take Molli to swim lessons, but Joey has her car and thinks she has a ride, so she has to walk. Poor thing. Joey finally calls and asks if he can go fishing. It’s good to know he still has balls.
Josh is still being distant with Mack, and she thinks she’ll be able to lure him in on Father’s Day with a gift from Gogurt. Megan comes over to help Gogurt and Mack take some pics for Josh. She takes pictures of Gogurt holding signs that say “I Heart You, Dad.” I guess we’re all assuming that Josh can read. It was a cute idea… and Gogurt looks awesome in his hat and boots (and with paper covering his face.) After his photo shoot, Gogurt loses his sht. Megan doesn’t know how Mack does it. Um, Megan, she leaves him with her family while she does whatever she wants? They talk about where Mack stands with Josh, which is nowhere. Mack says it’s not healthy…. “for this guy”.
Briana is learning to drive. Something she should have learned 3 years ago. She’s registering at a community college and taking a driving class. This chick doesn’t even know which is the brake or the gas… seriously? How can you not have EVER learned anything about driving? Her driving teacher loved his 2 minutes of fame. MTV Advice Of The Day: Learn To Drive.
Katie made it to the rec center and is swimming with Molli. Apparently they missed the class (I’m sure she won’t bring this up 100 times), so they played in the pool. She and Megan talk about how grouchy Joey always is and Megan tells her to just let him sleep. Ha. That’ll happen. Megan is the wife of a miner and she just tries to impart some advice that sometimes the men will get super grouchy and the wives have to just kiss their asses. Okay, maybe not completely fair… but working ALL NIGHT… IN A MINE… come on… can we all agree that we would do a lot more to make Joey comfortable?
Wendy, Alex, and Bella are having pizza and talk about Alex’s future. Alex is always so yuck to talk to, and Wendy says that she always knew that Matt was a loser. Oh sht, her little brother is there and mentions that the only thing good that came from Matt was Bella. (Who fed you that line?) Wendy thinks Alex needs to find a way to be happy and that she should go to prom. Well, that’s all it took. Alex loses her sht and says there’s no reason for her to get dressed up is no one is going to appreciate it. Like it’s our fault she’s ugly.
Mack is adding the finishing touches on her gift to win Josh back. Her whole family is at her grandparents house and we see even more normal, well-intentioned people that love Gogurt. Josh won’t answer her calls until her mom or grandma teaches her a trick to make him answer. She reaches Josh and tells him she wants to drop Gogurt and the gift off at his house. Unfortunately, he’s going to his friend’s house and says to drop them off later. Ouch.
Briana is buying school supplies. Um, this is college… not middle school. Briana thinks she needs to pick out a Trapper Keeper. (Get the one with a kitten on it.) Brittany tries to talk sense into them, while Roxanne buys Briana stickers. Seriously. Brittany whines that she never got stickers. I love seeing Brittany slowly deteriorate.
Alex is overwhelmed and her mom is worried that she’s under way too much stress and doesn’t laugh anymore. Wendy suggests that they go dress shopping so Alex can go to prom and Alex wants to know her price range. Wendy is a damn good mom for realizing that Alex does seem to push herself to the edge of sanity and Bella seems well-behaved when they run errands. So someone is doing something right. I’m guessing Arielle. The dresses they pick our are atrocious. The red dress is AWFUL. But Alex and Wendy love it. Oy vey. There was a black and white one that was ugly, but looked pretty good on her… but they were all about the red.
The Girl Power crew are taking Nova to the beach for the first time. Do they EVER do anything independent of each other? Have we no Megans? It’s Father’s Day and Briana says that Devoin is missing Nova’s “firstess” (her word) of everything. Roxanne talks about how amazing Briana is. Poor Brittany. The only thing emptier than her uterus, is her heart.
Joey is preparing to go fishing and Katie says she wants to take her friend’s advice and encourage Joey to sleep, but Joey doesn’t want to get into it. Katie has decided that Joey should go fishing on the weekend and that he should sleep now. Basically so she can keep one thumb on him and the other on his paycheck. She’s so full of sht. If he had slept, she would have wanted him to go fishing. Why doesn’t he just bang his head against the wall… that way I don’t have to do it for him.
Alex and Bella are going to make Matt a Father’s Day card. It’s a little bit sweet, and really sad. (Side note, I think he has a fiance and 2nd baby in real life. Apparently he’s sober for now.) Alex says she feels bad for Bella, but I’m thinking Bella doesn’t know it’s Father’s Day or that her dad is a sweathog. Wendy is going to watch Bella later in the day so that Alex can go to the dance studio. On her way there, Alex gets a call from Matt and he tells her that addiction is a disease. She tells him that she agrees but that he’s the only one that can cure it. She dances randomly with a “student”. They tell the dance owner that next week they will be going to prom. Alex doesn’t have a date, so she’s going alone. But fear not… the owner has a date for her. Isn’t that a coincidence. Some guy that used to dance with them. So I’ll assume he’s gay. And unattractive. The owner is nice. Alex actually does smile and it was pretty(ish).
Mack is upset about Josh, but decides that she needs to spend some time with her dad… in their above-ground pool. Do those exist? I bet they have a trampoline too. They spend their father-daughter time together talking about Josh. Her dad is awesome and says that he has been in love with her mom since the day he met her. Mack wants that for her and Josh. So far so good, Mack.
Briana is getting ready for her first day of college. They act like it’s a huge deal. Usually your first day is one class. Briana still can’t drive, so Brittany AND Roxanne and Nova are going to drop her off. Roxanne tells Brittany that they will find a place to SIT IN THE CAR and wait FOR TWO HOURS in case Briana needs them. Are you fking kidding me? I drove my kid to a different state, dropped her off, and came home. These women are like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Sombrero. Brittany is one errand away from calling Matt and asking for a sandwich or from taking Josh on a Spanish Rodeo. Brittany calls her friend and is hella pissed. She’s sick of Briana getting babied. YAY!!! This is what I want to see. Have a great summer, Brittany.
Looks like Alex got her VS Pink shipment in… but white is not her color. She is starting to get excited about prom that night. I will say again that Bella is fairly well-behaved during random scenes of sitting and waiting. Alex and Megan are getting their hairs did and Megan wants to know if her blind date is boyfriend material. I like this Megan. She’s goofy and has good energy. Awful style, but great spirit. Alex gets some weird eye make-up thing done and heads off to meet her date. Okay, he’s totally cute. I don’t know if he’s gay, he didn’t give off a huge vibe… He was kind of nice to her and didn’t even say anything about her red Mike Tyson face tattoo. On the way there, he asks when it ends. That’s totally something I would do. “How long until I can get back to being alone?”
Katie, the one with NO FAMILY, is upset with Joey, so her mom jets over to listen to her kvetch. Katie says she “only had his best interest in mind” when she wanted him to sleep. Who besides me thought this was LOL worthy? She twists the story up and manages to make her mom think Joey is a jerk and expects her to kiss his ass. Katie says that she and Joey don’t know how to make a relationship work because neither of their parents showed them how to make it work. WHAT A FKING COW. Her mom looks a little stunned by the blow. And Joey’s parents may be divorced, but they’re remarried and seem fairly kind, albeit a little fat. Katie’s mom says that they gave her everything she wanted, but Katie says it wasn’t enough. Katie, Katie, Katie…
Class is over for Briana and Girl Power are still waiting right where they left her. Brittany is in a bitchy mood, so they go out for lunch… together. Again. Brittany needs some away time. Briana asks her why she has a stick up her butt and Brittany says it’s because she’s sick of dealing with all their problems. Preach, sister. Roxanne acts all exhausted by Brittany and I am starting to feel more and more for her plight. Roxanne clearly favors Briana. Britt says they’re driving her nuts and she wants to move away. Briana thinks Britt still needs her mom; but Roxanne morphs into Super Btch and tells Brittany to “get up and go” and move out. The only reason she didn’t throw a pot was because she didn’t have one. YAY AGAIN!
Alex was glad she went to prom, but her date was a bust. She said he was boring. Her sister asks if Alex is ready to start dating yet and Alex says maybe. She tells her sister that Matt has told her to move on. I’m not sure why she needed him to tell her that. I think the first trip to rehab would have sent me packing.
Crap, we’re back to Mack and it’s STILL Father’s Day. She’s nervous to see him, but I’m sure she’ll find just the right thing to say. She hands over a sleeping Gogurt and he immediately hands him back. Mack tells Josh’s friend that Josh isn’t a good friend to her and Lane says Josh is a great friend to him. Mack asks Josh if he thinks Lane is better looking than her. She gives him his present and he says he likes it. And then promptly hands it to Lane to put away. Mack says they need to give each other their all if they’re engaged. Josh says nothing. Mack cries.
Video montage. Everyone looks unhappy. Except Alex… and I am okay with that for now. Finally, the show is coming around.
Next week… Mack is still crying. Brittany buys condoms. Katie and Joey fight. Alex loses it again.
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