Welcome to Mexico, trash! I’m super excited for these Dallas ladies to take a tequila based vaca, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to disappoint. This episode starts out with everyone putting on their bathing suits, and giving Kameron a little opportunity to slut-shame Cary for her bathing suit. But I’m going to go ahead and get right to the good stuff. Brandi and Stephanie decide to put a dildo in D’Andra’s bag, a GIANT dildo, I might add. She finds it and everybody laughs except for Kameron. UUUUgghhhh. I was starting to almost like you?! If you feel uncomfortable or like it isn’t funny.. just stand there? Don’t make a damn scene? Although, no, I take that back. I’m glad she made a scene because we got to watch Brandi chase her around with a dildo. Which was amazing and I’m starting to like Brandi a little bit more because of how she’s handling this. LeeAnne is successfully playing both sides and this whole part was just kind of awkward. They bury the dildos, and their newfound friendship, in the sand.
We split into our teams and discuss the weiner issue. Cary tries to defend Kameron, saying it’s clearly too much for her. Brandi says, “Well her all pink is too much for me, and I deal with it”. Cary tries not to laugh into her glass.
The Real Drag Queens of Dallas go back to a hotel room and say Brandi takes it too far. Speaking of taking it too far, Cary tells us that Rich has the world’s smallest penis. Cary is the secret shit-stirrer on the show! Steph FaceTimes Travi$, while Cary “twerks” in her pajamas. She’s barely moving her hips and Kameron is acting like she’s blown away.
LeeAnne tells D’Andra that she and Rich got engaged, and she wants to have a private moment, on camera, to share it with just her, and the crew.
Cary and D’Andra are hosting a “Reset Dinner” because housewife group dinners are always drama free. I love that D’Andra puts on her reading glasses to look at her dinner. She is my favorite.They mention how they’ve got some fun things planned for the night, and that’s ALL it takes to start the fighting. Cary kiiiind of starts it by saying none of it is offensive, but Brandi totally brings it home. She starts going on about how Kameron will probably be offended anyways, and then Kameron comes for her for going to strip clubs and hints that she’s a bad mom. Alright, Kameron. I’m over it. The best part of this scene is Bradi’s mascara malfunction. I feel bad that nobody told her to fix it, because it’s a totally normal thing if you’ve got oily undereyes, it happens to me all the time! Especially when I’m drunk and sweaty! BUT, it’s things like this that make for an iconic housewives fight. I can already see the parodies.
Brandi says the word zipcode and Kameron starts seizing. She starts saying “I never said zipcode!?? Why is she saying that?!”. And guess who raises her hand……. Cary. She gets worried people are going to realize she’s the snake, so she burps and we can all move on. LeeAnne tells all the girls her big news and they pretend to be happy for her. It’s beautiful.
Cut to an equally beautiful juxtaposition of LeeAnna talking shit on Cary to a makeup-less D’Andra, and Cary doing yoga on the beach. But the fact that Cary is wearing a tank top that says “haute mama”, so her scene is now definitely more heinous.
Brandi and Stephanie are taking a bubble bath and laughing like anime characters while the other team is at a spa. Kameron lists of her ideas of fun and they’re all boring rich people hobbies. I actually think I’d rather be in the bubble bath. All I know for sure is that I don’t want to be the one cleaning up their bathroom.
Brandi arranged for us to go have dinner in an upscale Hard Rock Cafe. These ladies fill every silence with tequila shots. Stephanie looks half dead before we’ve even got our salads. She suggests that we play two truths and a lie, it’s a fun conversation, and Cary decides it would be better to turn this diner into a confrontation. The conversation finds its way to Brandi, naturally, and I’m glad she doesn’t tooottally deny everything, kind of like Cary is. I don’t think Brandi would have any reason to make up that Cary said bad things about her doctor? I definitely see Cary as being that person, though. She wants everyone to know she’s the coolest and the smartest, and that she knows some medical words in Spanish. You can also see how drunk Cary is in her eyes.
That’s it for this weeks episode, I am personally very excited to keep getting tequila wasted on this Mexico trip next week! Let’s predict what the rest of the trip will hold in the comments, alright? See you there!