MisRed is flying on a Jovani high!!!! How about you guys? Off the bat, let me state, you know, for the record, the annals of TrashTalkTV history, that MisRed hates recapping reunions. They take forever and nothing really happens, they are dialogue heavy, blah blah blah.
So we open at the ballroom at Cipriani. Remember when Sonja got all pissed off at Cindy Barshop for promising to take her to Cipriani and then bagging out on her because she (Cindy) broke her tooth. And Sonja just COULDN’T BELIEVE that Cindy would go to the dentist instead of taking her to Cipriani. The nerve.
You mean to tell me your tooth is more important than my String Beans Salad with Cherry Tomato and Cacciocavallo Cheese?
By the way, do you know where else they have a Cipriani???
We start backstage where the gals are getting all spackeled and painted. I think I saw some scaffolding being put up around Sonja’s hair… someone from Priv wielding a putty knife being recklessly.
Did Dorinda’s eyeball fall out last night?
Igotshankedlastnight. Butdon’tworryaboutit. Ijusttapedmyeyeballbackin.
Why does she have scotch tape on her eye?
Bethenny makes a Game of Thrones reference about going up against Blondes.
Yeah, so whatsgoingon with that little guy and that chick that walks naked in the street while people pelt her with cabbage?
Do we think Bethenny actually watches Game of Thrones? Or do we think her Brand Manager just gives her an update weekly?
The ladies start to join Andy on stage one by one. Um, Dorinda? Your hair…
Ramona hands her phone to Andy… it’s Mario.
Yeah, so, why are you calling this old bag of bones? Call me, boo.
Why does Ramona even still talk to Mehhhhhrrrrrrrio?
Carole comes out and greets her peeps saying “The Dream Team!!” Rut Roh. These ones have compared notes… and had them. laminated.
In LuAnn’s absence they got a new snatch guard at Pier One.
Sonja’s twat will probably fall out in that dress.
Ramona addresses the camera man as “Hello, Cameraman. This bruise is showing up on camera…” Why does Ramona have a bruise? Did something happen with her Anti-Skincare line? We never get to the bottom of it. I feel like if someone bitch-slapped Ramons, we really should be informed, like IMMEDIATELY. They decide to swap couches so Ramona Balboa’s bruised cheek won’t show. Then Ramona needs someone to move her water and purse. Oy vey with this one.
What is living in Sonja’s hair?
The cameras roll and Andy says her normal greetings. Although he doesn’t ask about anyone’s breasts which is really off-putting, as Andy is normally a total pig.
Reminds me of an Oreo.
He addresses the issue of LuAnn not being in attendance, because she was afraid to answer for her actions this year and didn’t want to talk about her kids, Ictoria and NoWell suing her.
Then Carole’s phone pings – she says she thought she turned it off. Andy gives Carole such a look- you would have thought Carole flushed Andy’s weed down the toilet.
You take my weed?
Andy asks if Bethenny is loving her apartment and she says she and Brynn are so happy there. Until next season when they will need someplace that feels more like home because this place reminds her of Dennis or something.
We learn Ramona’s apartment is on the market, and she is downsizing. Dorinda is like “Yeahwhowantstobealandlord?” LOL. Well, plenty of people. But true, I can’t imagine Ramona as my landlord. Or anyone’s landlord. “I’m SORRRRRRY, I’m sorry, but I can’t drop everything to come over and fix the toilet. You know what the problem is? You don’t support other assholes. You don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have broken the toilet. CALM DOWN!!!”
Andy asks Carole about Adam. He wants to know if they have “coffee?” She says no.
Tinsley has new hair- straight straw. She got it two bales for $7 at Joanne.
I had a coupon.
She thought it would make her feel older and fatter- you know, like how Dale makes her feel, but it’s made her feel younger and thinner!!! And it’s easier. But how does Dabney feel about it?
We learn, Dorinda has started working out with a trainer 4 times a week. Yes, his name is Tito’s. He’s really shaking, not stirring, her into shape. She was inspired by Carole running the Marathon. Oh good.
Andy asks Sonja if she’s still on her raw diet? She says that she’s “Sometimes a vegan and sometimes a pescatarian…because, I have learned, when you have oysters when you’re eating vegetables, you’re not vegan. You’re not even a vegetarian.”
And sometimes I’m a slut who takes it up the butt from a Johnny Depp impersonator.
Slow clap for Sonja Moran, Legacy, learning what us people with brains already knew. Congratulations Sonja, you are now, merely, a moron.
Andy wants to do a fashion review… so we get, the usual:
Lots of Monkey Fur, a lot of French Braids. Carole’s Tattoo Cat suit. Dorinda’s Gaga Bubble dress.
New York “Fashion”
Oh, then we move to Halloween, as if that was fashion. When Lu entered in her Diana Ross costume, to which Sonja squeals “Lu! I knew you’d come with some kind of headdress!!!” Um, it’s a wig Sonja. From Party City. And it’s ridiculous and you know, a smidge racist with her gigantic wig and blackface, but then again Lu didn’t show up to answer for this so….
Andy wants to know if anyone else, besides Carole, reacted to Lu’s Halloween Costume? Bethenny has a litany of excuses as to why SHE didn’t react- her dog died, her grandma ate her homework. I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn’t have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
Sonja says, “Well she’s so tall.”
As usual, Sonja is in an entirely different conversation than the rest of the group.
Therefore, she can’t be racially insensitive? Or everyone shorter than her can’t see it? Go eat a fish, Sonja.
Carole says that it was the darkening of the skin that was the real problem and says that it looked much darker on TV. Maybe they OJ’d her?
Dorinda is like “Did Diana ever wear her hair like that? But Diana never wore her hair like that.” Dorinda- completely missing the point. LOL. Carole repeats that Lu is tone-deaf to racial stereotypes.
Palm to face.
Well yeah, we saw that years ago when she was threatening to scalp people because she’s part Native American.
Ramona didn’t think there was anything wrong with what LuAnn did. Ramona says she wonders if she might be tone-deaf? LOL No, Ramona, a 60 year old woman dressing as Britney Spears, mid-seizure- in a red latex cat-suit she stole from Lip Sync Battle is totally normal. She does reiterate what Carole said, that the bronzer Lu used looked WAY darker on TV.
Dorinda says the Afro looked ten times bigger too. “Yeah! Just like that Nutcracker!!” Settle down Dorinda, we’ll get to that fight in a minute. Just kidding. She didn’t say that- but you KNOW it’s coming.
Andy asks Carole if she has a stylist to put together her looks? No, she doesn’t. Well, maybe you should, honey.
Andy asks who had that best costume at the Halloween Party and who had the worst? They all agree the Best was Dorinda. She reveals she lost every bubble by the end of the night. Is anyone surprised by this? No? Moving on.
And the Worst was Sonja. Sonja says, “Oh I loved mine.” Yes, she got it at Walmart for $7.99. The girls argue what nobody knew who Sonja was?!?!?!? After all of these bitches comparing themselves to Lucy & Ethel, and they didn’t know Sonja was dressed as Lucy?!?!? I mean, it WAS the shittiest costume, just in terms of effort. And her “Ricky” was a hot mess.
Andy says he thinks Carole is just a secret smoker who is always looking for excuses to smoke. Carole laughs. She says that this year drove her to smoke.
TIME FOR BETHENNY’S CLIP PACKAGE!
We see the following scenes: Bethenny’s Relief work in Puerto Rico. Bobby Zarin’s Funeral. The Nutcracker. The Ramona Street Phone call.
BOBBY ZARIN’S FUNERAL:
At Bobby’s funeral, Bethenny was doing the charity work of attending and deigning to speak to Jill. She says, “I couldn’t leave, I don’t know why I couldn’t leave.” Because the cameras are there, that’s why.
Listen, I gotta go, my broom is double-parked. I’ll text you.
We see Bethenny interrupting Jill to say that she is alone too! Forget that your husband just died, I’m alone too. Me. It’s all about me. While they show the clip of Bethenny explaining that she took Bryn out of school to go to sit Shiva at Jill’s… the look on Ramona’s face in the PIP is hysterical. She looks like her eye is about to explode. Bethenny says when she learned that Bobby died, she was in Aspen and decided to go to the funeral.
She says something here that MisRed agrees with “I will never regret going, but I will possibly regret not going.” Good point.
Ramona jumps in and says that they got a call the Bethenny wanted to film at the funeral and that they (the other ladies) would have preferred to NOT film it. Andy jumps in and says that it was JILL, not Bethenny, who asked to film it, and Bravo wanted to “cover it.”
Bethenny, with a shit-eating grin, thanks Ramona for jumping in when it wasn’t her business. Ramona says that it WAS her business and Bethenny, smiling evilly, is like “They were filming ME.”
Nobody is interested in you when I’m around.
See, this is the stuff I hate with Bethenny. Yes, Ramona is annoying and an insignificant turd on Planet Bethenny. And most of the time she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and she’s going at Bethenny, for sure. But Bethenny could have let Andy handle it instead of acting like a total c*nt.
Ramona says that she saw Bethenny talking to Jill inside the service. But when they were outside, and the cameras were there, that Bethenny jumped out of the car and rushed up to Jill “to be on camera.”
Eh, that’s not really how it looked on camera.
Andy, who is, clearly, one of Bethenny’s soldiers at this point says “Good. Because I wanted to see that.” Sonja chimes in that it was a beautiful moment. Says the woman whose entire life is a purposeful “wardrobe malfunction.” Dorinda rolls her eyes.
Bethenny goes on to say that Bobby never said “no” to Jill, but he refused to fix things between Jill & Bethenny- because it was Jill’s mistake. Who knows if he even could have? Bethenny put those walls up. But she says, in the end, Bobby did fix it because his funeral got Bethenny to Jill’s house.
LOL. Ok, I see what she’s saying. Yes, in the end Bobby’s death brought she and Jill together. But it’s almost like she’s saying that Bobby took a bullet to save their friendship. LOL.
Ramona recalls, prompted by Andy, and at the cresting moment of her Xanax “high” or “low” whatever you call it, she tried to bring Bethenny and Jill back together waaaaaay back in Season 3. We get a flashback of Ramona and Lu trying to stage a reunion. There’s statement necklaces and old chins, it’s like opening a time capsule. Ramona has been renewed 5 times since then.
Ramona calls Bethenny attending “opportunistic” for attending the funeral and she didn’t think it was genuine. Sonja says that this isn’t how Jill feels. Ramona says that she doesn’t think you use someone’s death “to do this.” Sonja maintains “I was standing there too. I didn’t see any of that.” Wow. Sonja is so far up Bethenny’s ass she could make Bethenny’s mouth move like a puppet.
Bethenny jumps in, saying that Jill is happy, and it made Jill happy – to have Bethenny at the funeral? To, potentially, be back in Bravo’s good graces? To have finally grown out those bangs?
Then Dorinda, the sniper from the side, chimes in that Jill is doing great and she is so happy and doing well and they had lunch, then says, “Oh, did you have lunch with her Bethenny? You didn’t want to, so I guess, no cameras.”
Carole is like- that makes sense. Andy asks Bethenny if she’s spoken to Jill since sitting Shiva? Bethenny says they have only texted, not spoken. Bobby’s death brought them together for that moment and Jill is really making an effort and Bethenny is just dipping her toe back into that friendship.
Then Ramona, in a move only seen at Cirque de Soleil- l’édition porno, starts kissing her own ass. She says that she and Jill had had a major blow-out, but when she learned that Bobby was in the hospital she knew she had to visit and make amends, because she knew it was the right thing to do. And they had a very heartfelt talk.
Andy says that Jill texted him that very day and said that she is dating a guy who used to date Ramona. Ramona says she had four dates with him.
Sonja doesn’t want to hear that she missed a penis sampling opportunity.
Ramona has dated every dude in NYC. I guess, Ramona, at least, gets dinner out of them- unlike Sonja.
MisRed has a few things to say about this segment. Firstly, I think filming at a funeral is tacky. What’s even tackier is someone REQUESTING cameras be at their spouse’s funeral. So, in MisRed’s opinion, Jill is the opportunistic party here. Yes, I think Bethenny was putting it on, to some degree, for the cameras- but she did fly home from Aspen to attend the funeral. She was not obligated to do so. And she did speak about not wanting to regret missing it because of her love for Bobby. Was Jill asking for the cameras? Who knows the motivation. Bobby was sick for a long time, maybe she wanted it to be more a celebration of his life and not about the sadness of his death? Maybe Jill saw this as a way to get back with Bethenny or maybe open the door to her return. MisRed can’t be in Jill’s head- frankly, MisRed doesn’t even want to be in MisRed’s head most of the time…. But it did open a door. I’m more team Ramona in that- when it came out that Bobby was sick- and it was PUBLIC information- Bethenny, if she truly loved Bobby as she said she did, should have gone to the hospital and visited with him. Jill didn’t need to be involved but maybe if she was, the door could have been opened at that point and this whole debate would be moot, and this reunion would have only been 25 parts instead of 26…
Frankly, I think it would be interesting to have Jill back. I know a lot of people don’t want that. Maybe not as a full-time cast member, but maybe a FOL (Friend of Lu, or Ramona or Dorinda or Pamona or something.). I think it would be interesting to see the dynamic between Bethenny and Jill NOW.
I’m speaking on behalf of my friend, Pamona.
Regardless of what anyone says, Bethenny has changed, and she has become even more guarded and caustic over the years. Jill is the only person we’ve seen her truly bond with. Yes, it was blown to holy hell but I think it would be interesting to see a redux. THAT’S MY OPINION, OKAAAAAAAY?
BETHENNY’S RELIEF EFFORTS:
Moving on to Bethenny’s relief efforts, seriously, she should apply some of those efforts to her own life, at this point, God bless her. If there was anyone in need of a little self-care, it’s Bethenny. No one can really fault Bethenny in this- she really was – I think- only doing good things.
Andy asked her why she got involved? She says that when she came to Houston (where MisRed lives- GO TEXANS- just kidding MisRed doesn’t even follow Basketball), she thought that the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey was the worst thing she’s ever seen. Then she went to Mexico and then Puerto Rico and she felt moved and compelled to help. She thanks Tinsley for being the first really big donor, she thanks everyone- and even though she says they all hate her- it was kind of them to donate, although she does add the caveat thanking Carole for donating AFTER the Marathon. Carole says that nobody hates Bethenny. Then there is an argument over who dislikes Bethenny. This is so stupid.
Ramona chimes in with “You create animosity among us.” Bethenny swats her away like a mosquito. Ramona isn’t entirely wrong. The vibe does totally change when Bethenny isn’t feeling it- you can everyone’s assholes shrink when Bethenny is in a mood.
Dorinda says to Bethenny, “We support you in ALL causes.”
She has a point.
Ramona continues, “You just don’t support us. You don’t like to engage us or compliment us. Even on your interviews, you knock each and every one of us. You never say anything positive, and it’s really, really upsetting to all of us. And if we say one little thing negative about you …”
Then Ramona puts on a puppet show and really loses us. She did have a point.
Bethenny says “Think about the Brooklyn Bridge, think about what you said at Dorinda’s house. Think about all of the things you have said to me.”
The Answer is: The Truth
Cut to flashback of Ramon-ac The Magnificent, in a tan velour track suit, on the Brooklyn Bridge in 2010 saying Bethenny has no friends and will be alone for the rest of her life and even though she has Jason at the moment, she will screw that up too.
You are an unlovable street urchin, like Annie, but not as talented with the singing.
And then her telling Bethenny, in the Hamptons, I think, that she has been in the press doing soft porn. (?) Then to them fighting at Dorinda’s about how Ramona made her own money and how Bethenny spreads her legs for money. WOW. Ramona really has had some doozies, huh?
Bethenny says Ramona has always been nasty. Ramona denies it but then tells Bethenny how awful she is and that she’s a mean girl and a bully. Bethenny says that she doesn’t want to talk to Ramona. Carole says that is condescending. And a little argument erupts that everyone thinks Bethenny is a bully- everyone except Sonja who Ramona calls “a puppy,” I think she means “a lapdog.”
Ramona had a good point and was actually articulating it well- but then she went too far. She is right- Bethenny expects support but doesn’t always give it in return. And she has said unkind things about everyone in her interviews. Yes, a lot of it was for comedic affect, but there is truth in every joke- Bethenny said so herself.
By the same token, MisRed can understand how Bethenny would be over Ramona. Ramona has said some mean things to Bethenny, but A LOT of it was reactionary- in the heat of battle. But… it all comes back to the Brooklyn Bridge. THAT was NOT in battle, and 8 years later, we are still going back to that scene. Why? A) Because it was real. B) Even though it was tough, it was Ramona’s version of “tough love” for Bethenny C) Ramona was RIGHT. Sad, but she was.
Yassssss Girl!!! Crack my nuts!!!!
Over the upfront clip with the Nutcracker arriving at Bethenny’s apartment, Bethenny disputes that Dorinda found the Nutcracker- so let’s see what shakes out of this? And Sonja, clearly, thinks Dorinda is ridiculous for wanting a “Thank you,” prompts Dorinda to “whisper” to Sonja “Keep kissing her ass.”
Andy says that Dorinda went to great trouble to find The Nutcracker. Dorinda agrees. Andy says that the Nutcracker arrives and Bethenny freaks out for 20 minutes, and in the midst of this freak-out, Dorinda is not “directly appreciated.”
Dorinda says it’s not even that, it’s that Bethenny acted as if SHE found the Nutcracker. Bethenny says that what Dorinda is saying is not true. Dorinda says that Bethenny said that “her people” found it. Well maybe Bethenny considers Dorinda to be one of her people?
Andy asks Bethenny for her response. She says that she asked Dorinda if she knew anyone who could help get the Nutcracker, and Dorinda said she did and called this person from the Berkshires. Bethenny says that the guy said, “I got it.” The other women dispute this, saying that the guy, had to search for it. Dorinda, Carole and Ramona all erupt saying that what Bethenny said is a lie.
Andy, apparently Bethenny slipped him some cash or a hot Twink, starts yelling back, pounding on the arm of his chair yelling “I want to hear her f*cking answer, and then you can respond!!”
Take a Xanax. Calm down.
Bethenny says that Dorinda put the two of them on a text- and she has the text. So net/net the guy found it. Bethenny says she texted Dorinda many times thanking her, sent her the video of Bryn who was so excited, and then we get down to the brass tacks:
Dorinda says, “I’m sure you did off-camera.” Ok, so Dorinda was mad that the thank you was off-camera. Ok, MisRed stands corrected, but in fairness, I only see what they show me.
Dorinda says that the thank you(s) were off camera, but the PERFORMANCE was on camera. Bethenny asks why is it about Dorinda and not about Bryn? Dorinda says that Bethenny should have been gracious, and Bethenny says she was.
Ok, MisRed, for one, would have LOVED to have seen that video of Bryn. I understand VoldeHoppy won’t let it be shown, so whatever. I still think Bethenny could have thanked Dorinda IN THE MOMENT. But this is, really, one of the more stupid arguments, and frankly if I never see a Nutcracker again… or a nut… or a cracker… it will be too soon.
RAMONA STREET PHONE CALL / COCO’S NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE:
Moving onto Bethenny’s next transgression. Julie from Cincinnati – oooh, MisRed loves herself a 3way from Skyline Chili- wants to know why Bethenny was so condescending about Ramona’s skincare line? And it seems like Bethenny really didn’t support the other women in their ventures this year.
I’m here, on the phone, and my dog is about to be killed.
You don’t support other dogs living in New York.
Andy says that it’s IRONIC given the fact that there is so much SkinnyGirl talk (shilling) going on all the time, what is Bethenny’s response?
Bethenny says that since the show has begun there has been Tru Renewal, True Faith, Wine, Hair Extensions, a restaurant that never existed…
Speaking of businesses, Sonja is resetting the EZ pass on her vag
Ramona responds, “What about your chocolate and your bologna?” Carole chimes in too.
Bethenny says that Ramona is now, feverishly, looking for a lab to create her formulas because they don’t exist yet.
THAT I can believe because her website is not working, and it was supposed to have launched months ago. Ramona- call me, I’ll hook you up with someone who can make your goop.
Then Bethenny says “Ramona criticizes Sonja for having fake businesses…” Ramona nearly catapults herself onto Bethenny like Nacho Libre saying- YOU DID!!!! And then all of the other women join in that Bethenny is the one that called Sonja a FRAUD.
Fraud, slut, cheater
Cut to flashback to 2016 Bethenny telling Sonja “I think you are a fraud because you’ve come up with six fake businesses, and no one buys any of it; it’s all bullsh*t.”
They are all like- BETHENNY IS A LIAR!!!!! Sonja sits there saying that it was the girls that made Bethenny believe that Sonja’s businesses weren’t real. But she showed Bethenny online that her ventures were real.
Does Sonja actually listen to herself?
Yeah, because everything on the internet is 100% true.
Sonja, what made, Bethenny think that your businesses weren’t real is the fact that your businesses aren’t real. I’ve yet to see one product come from that Nigerian Football Team! NOT ONE!!!
Sonja continues to suckle at the teat- saying that these women have been stirring the pot about her with Bethenny for years. ???? They have?? Bethenny says that Sonja, now, has actual products.
Dorinda says “Makeasandwichinyourtoasteroven.” LOL
Bethenny says that it’s unfair for Ramona to pretend to women around the country that it’s so easy to just get these hair extensions, etc, and Ramona calls herself a maven about everything, and she isn’t. Yeah, well, we all know that Bethenny’s products don’t imply that by using them, you will be skinny, right?
Carole and Dorinda are like- Yeah, well you aren’t an expert in jeans or bologna.
Andy wants Ramona’s response. Ramona goes on a rant about how she put herself through college, unlike Bethenny who had a rich father, who put her through college. She had her own car, went to BU. Ramona was a buyer for Macy’s.
Bethenny is like- what does this have to do with anything? MisRed agrees. This is why Ramona is such a joke- her points are never correlated to the actual ARGUMENT TOPIC or just when she has you with something, somewhat, lucid, she goes off on a tangent.
Andy is like- what is the status of your skin care? Ramona says she is finalizing the formulations. Bethenny adds “And looking for someone to create them.”
Ramona claps back that at 37 years old she had over a million dollars in the bank and already had two homes. Ramona then stand up… yikes… and asks why Bethenny can’t support her?
Bethenny is like- you’ve been terrible to me. Sonja is like “That’s a good reason.” SHUT UP, SONJA. Ramona tells Bethenny to look in the mirror because Bethenny has been a total bitch and Ramona says she has supported Bethenny in everything she has done.
Sonja pipes in “You are the one who said I hate her.” SHUT UP, SONJA.
This public service brought to you by Ramona Singer.
Ramona, literally, puts her hand over Sonja’s mouth. THANK YOU.
Ramona then goes off on a tangent about how Bethenny has no friends, and Ramona has 30 friends she could call to come help her in an instant… and now Bethenny has lost Carole. Ramona’s diatribe continues, and she finishes with “So don’t say I’m f*cking fake with your fake tits.”
LOL. Oh Ramones… you kill me, girl. Bethenny just looks down at her chest and is like. Okay. For those playing at home, Ramona has breast implants too.
Then we get to the phone call. The phone call heard round the world- that’s right, the one where Coco almost DIED in the street… “THE You don’t support OTHER WOMEN Call.”
Bethenny says that Ramona was so happy that she and Carole were no longer friends. Ramona says that the truth is, that she was really upset about the state of their friendship. Ramona says again that she has 30 friends she can call who will show up tomorrow for her…
Sonja says, “The rent-a-crowd.” SHUT UP, SONJA!?!? What do you think you are to Bethenny?? Except you are too stupid to collect rent for it. Oh wait, I forgot about the 5 pair of prototype jeans you got, MisRed’s bad.
Bethenny says that Ramona did not appear upset on the show about she and Carole’s friendship. The other women say that Ramona wasn’t happy about the situation. Ramona tells Bethenny that she doesn’t see things for how they really are- and she’s not sure what happened to make Bethenny like this. Uh, absentee parents? She was raised with no boundaries? She wasn’t shown any love? She has bad taste in men? She married Jason Hoppy? She hates Avocado Toast? She has a house on the highway? She cries in freezers?
Bethenny tells Ramona that she’s full of shit and she criticized her house. Ramona is like- I didn’t criticize it- I just said “It’s on the highway. It IS on the highway!” Bethenny tells her that it wasn’t an important or constructive sentence.
Oh, like, all of Bethenny’s stuff is so constructive. Calling LuAnn a slut and a snake- was that constructive? I mean, it’s true, but was it really constructive?
If you will recall, the real crux of the call was- Ramona mentioned that she was doing a new anti-aging skincare line and Bethenny accused Ramona of using the show to do an “info-mercial” for her products. When that’s CLEARLY Bethenny’s thing. SkinnyGirl Jeans, SkinnyGirl Lunch Meat, SkinnyGirl Anal Wart Remover…
Andy asks Bethenny why she didn’t engage Ramona at Lu’s Cabaret party when Ramona attacked her about not responding to her launch party? Bethenny is like- it was Lu’s night and I didn’t want to get into it. And she would rather say nothing than say something negative. Uh, well, we know THAT’S not true. Carole says – Why can’t you just say Congratulations?
Bethenny jumps on her- saying that she is talking to Ramona and Carole should stay out of it. “We will call you when we need you.”
Andy is LOVING this.
I love getting you guys worked up into a TIZZY!!!
He really is such a sick, sick man.
Bethenny says to Ramona that she, in retrospect, should have just said “My bad.” And moved on.
Andy says that it’s weird that despite all of this stuff, all of the women seem to go to Bethenny during times of trouble. Ramona broke down about Mario to her in Turks & Caicos, Dorinda crying to Bethenny in Colombia about LuAnn, etc.
Dorinda says that Bethenny shows interest in it all and has “a thing.” Ramona agrees. So does Carole- that Bethenny can really zero in on the thing that’s bothering you. MisRed has the same thing. I can’t say what it is- at work, I am the staff therapist. People just come into my office, flop down in my guest chair and spill their guts. Perfect strangers, at Walmart, tell me their life story, ask me to help them find crackers, ask why the Baking Soda isn’t in the beverage aisle, tell me about their journey with arthritis. I don’t know what it is, MisRed does NOT have a friendly face… it’s just something.
But doubling back to Ramona’s skincare. Or Anti-skincare, as the case may be. Ramona, quite obviously, jumped the gun with her launch party. If you don’t have a formula- a STABLE formula, you should not be talking about it publicly. MisRed worked for a very large skincare company for many, many years – I mean- one of the biggest- and I cannot tell you how many times projects would get rushed because it was the latest and greatest concept- only to have a formulation failure. Either the formula grows stuff when stressed or the formula isn’t compatible with the packaging and you have to tweak- there are a million reasons why formulas fail. And Ramona already had packaging at that party. If her formula isn’t final… she should not be showing that off- unless it’s in a glass bottle- which it wasn’t. Ramona wanted to take advantage of the publicity opportunity- it makes sense, but yeah, too soon.
DORINDA CLIP PACKAGE:
Andy announces “We are making a list and checking it twice, is Dorinda backing it up or making it nice? She can comfort and coddle. She can jab. She can slice. Though Dorinda’s quite loyal, does it come with a price?”
Andy should write for Hallmark.
We see the following scenes: Dorinda’s birthday in the Berkshires shoving her own face in a cake with lit candles, Dorinda wasted in Puerto Rico saying that kids in Haiti don’t go to college. Bethenny’s empty cavity in chest to heart talk with Dorinda about her drinking on the plane to Puerto Rico. Dorinda lighting a candle for LuAnn at church. Dorinda going off the rails in Colombia, rage and regret. Dorinda flipping her SH*T at LuAnn’s Cabaret and after-party.
Andy is like…. we have a lot to talk about. Dorinda opens by saying that she still feels that Lu owes her an apology.
Yeah, well, when can we expect an apology for that finale eye shadow situation?
Dorinda interviews that Bethenny likes to label people. She says she was “drunk ONE night- and one night does not define people.”
Uh one night? ONE NIGHT? Like one night per day? What time duration are we talking here?
Dorinda throws out – “Bethenny drinks!” Uh yeah, but not like you, honey.
Yeah, but you are the CHAMP!
Bethenny says that during the clip package, Dorinda kept saying “More labels.”
THANK YOU, JOVANI!!!! Oh wait, not those labels.
Dorinda stops her and says that after she and Bethenny had the conversation on the plane in PR about Dorinda being drunk the night before- Bethenny said “You’re a drunk,” but then she heard that Bethenny said in a tweet “You’re in drunk.” That doesn’t make any sense. Bethenny says she thought she said, “You’re drunk.”
Dorinda wants to know “Which is it? I want to know because it’s two different things.” Actually three. Unless you don’t count “You’re in drunk” which I don’t know what that means.
Bethenny says she doesn’t know what she said.
MisRed does, you said “You’re a drunk.”
Andy asks her if she thinks Dorinda is a drunk? Bethenny asks for clarification and Andy asks if she thinks Dorinda has a drinking problem?
Dorinda says “You don’t know my life that well. Remember be careful.” Dorinda is so gangster.
Bethenny is like- hey, I’ve already been through one intervention this weekend, I’m not doing another one today. Bethenny is like- it’s not my place to say whether or not Dorinda has a drinking problem. Hell, Bethenny has commentary on everything else and suddenly it’s not her place to say???
Dorinda wants to know if Bethenny called Dorinda a drunk? Bethenny says that it sounds like she did, but Dorinda doesn’t think Bethenny really believes that. Yes, Dorinda got drunk at that dinner, but she was in a bad spot and Dorinda explained it on the plane. Dorinda says that they ALL except for Carole, have gotten drunk.
Yes. Yes, they have.
Bethenny asks what Dorinda wants to know from her? See, Bethenny is actually TRYING to be nice here because I think she really does care for Dorinda, as opposed to Ramona. Dorinda dances around the issue a little, but Andy asks Bethenny again if she thinks Dorinda has a drinking problem? Bethenny says she is not qualified to say and she’s not going to say that.
Ramona says there is a difference between saying “You’re drunk” and “You’re a drunk.” Agreed.
Bethenny says that after the PR dinner, the next day, Dorinda apologized to the wrong person. She actually didn’t know who she offended. Dorinda agrees that she didn’t remember, and it was because she was drunk.
Thanks for clarifying.
Bethenny says that now Dorinda is calling it “labeling” if she says Dorinda didn’t remember after the LuAnn thing?
Dorinda, really skating around the issue, says that Bethenny labels everybody. Then she points to the women one by one.
“This one has no friends. “(Ramona)
“This one is dead to you. “(Sonja)
“This one is sad, lonely and depressed.” (Carole)
“This one’s a dingbat.” (Tinsley)
Fun. It’s like The Match Game.
“Jules is a pill-popper and a drug addict.” Aw, how is Jules and her divorce from her micro-husband going? “Heather has no business. You are a labeler. I just can’t with the labels.”
Bethenny is like- ok, I’m a labeler. You can tell she is uncomfortable about this topic. Dorinda says if she thought Dorinda was in trouble or in crisis why didn’t she tell me to stay home? Well… she kind of did tell her not to come at the dinner and that’s what prompted Dorinda to skedaddle.
F*cking Andy interrupts- asking Bethenny if she knew how drunk Dorinda was before the dinner. Bethenny says no, but they had a drink BEFORE dinner and that escalated things, but she didn’t really know how cray Dorinda was going to get.
Bethenny says that of everyone there, she has called attention to Dorinda’s drinking in a constructive way. Yes, Bethenny did try to have a serious discussion with Dorinda about her drinking- and all of this “labeling” business and finger pointing is just a form of denial. But the truth of the matter is, Bethenny (or any of them) can call Dorinda a Drunk, say You’re drunkn or You’re in Drunk or Urine Drunk- which is an option we never considered before- but none of it matters. Until Dorinda acknowledges she has an issue, there is nothing that can be done.
Ramona says that Bethenny has been drinking too. Solid argument there Turtle Time, go back to sleep. Bethenny says that yes, she drinks. Dorinda says that nobody ever says anything critical about Bethenny. Not true.
Carole says that it’s not constructive to call someone a drunk on television. And Bethenny says that it’s not constructive to call someone a narcissist on television either, but Carole has done it. Frankly, if the shoe fits… in both cases.
Carole is like- did I call you a narcissist? Bethenny says that she said it in her blogs (not technically on TV) and behind Bethenny’s back. Carole is like- I calls ‘em as I sees ‘em. Bethenny says so do I.
Good, glad we got that settled.
Getting back to Dorinda’s drinking, and when Dorinda turns into Slurinda and sometimes when Dorinda snaps- sometimes it’s funny and sometimes, like in Puerto Rico or when Dorinda stabbed herself in the hand… it is NOT funny. Dorinda says that she thinks she doesn’t have the healthiest relationship with alcohol. She says she was unhappy last fall and probably a little depressed and she was down. She says she has looked at herself and decided that something had to give. Bethenny is like “But nothing changed, I’ve seen you drunk in the morning.” Dorinda denies it and says that Bethenny sounds drunk sometimes in the morning. Bethenny is like, Sure, right.
Dorinda says that she feels like she is in a good place right now. But Bethenny has bashed her in every interview she could, and Dorinda hasn’t said bad things about Bethenny- which isn’t true.
Andy says to Dorinda “So you don’t think you have a problem with alcohol…
TO BE CONTINUED
Next week, Dorinda claims she was sober in Colombia when she yelled at LuAnn. They talk about Lu’s drinking and if anyone suspected she was drinking again? Everyone says yes. Andy asks Tinsley if when she and Scott are on a break if he sees other people? Yes, he does. And we review “Jovani! Jovani!”
MisRed SWORE she was going to Reader’s Digest this and LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME?!?!!? War and Peace. Well, War and More War, in this case. What do you think of everyone getting together writing a script and ganging up on Bethenny? Bethenny can hold her own. We will see what happens next week… until then, MisRed loves your comments. xoxoxo
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