Hello Trashies, this is an unexpected and wonderful surprise to be granted the Shahs recaps. This was the series I first auditioned with and definitely one of my favorite Bravo series. Admittedly only because listening to Ronnie do his Reza impression on Crappens makes me giggle uncontrollably.
You are probably wondering where the first two episodes are? Well, this was a late assignment, so we are going to speed through the first and second episode then full on recap the third episode that just aired but before we begin we need to talk about the cast photo.
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS PICTURE!?!?!?!?!?!??!
We begin this season with MJ and Reza telling us everything that has changed, namely Asa and her caftans are out. MJ says her relationship with Reza has never been better.
And the winner of Who Wants to Be Reza’s Main Hag is………………….
GG is still GG but now she is a soon divorcee with a giant diamond and those are FOREVER. Mike is a new man living in a real man’s house. Destiney is still a wonderful ray of sunshine! Wisely, Sherv realized that it is better to be a friend of on this show than be subjected to the ridicule of wading in Cheetos.
They are all heading to be Big Bear and since there are no five-star hotels and Rob’s house wasn’t available on Airbnb they will be slumming it at a rented house with chef making it five starish. It’s a lot of wandering around to pick out rooms with Mike letting us know what Romcom’s are really all about.
Just in case you were wondering, Mike is still gross
MJ and Reza are sleeping together, which is all fine and good until GG shows up and acts like it’s weird because they once had sex when they were teenagers. MJ makes a crack about calling Tommy to ask his permission and GG for some reason thinks she is being serious. She says that if her and Shervin have to share a bed tomorrow she doesn’t feel like she has to let Shalom, her “husband” who doesn’t return her calls, know.
The next day Neema and Mona arrive. After skiing and grossing out the new brother sister duo with their eating habits. Reza announces that Mike and GG are going on a double date with Mona and Neema respectively. Allegedly, Mike has been dating Mona or talking to her, but I don’t buy it at all. Most of her parts seem original and Mike isn’t really into organic. Also, when she meets Shervin, she gives him the legit up and down.
Now, I know there has been a lot of chatter about how weird Neema and Mona are together and their sexual vibe. But they just seem like relatives who don’t know each other that well and so their vibe isn’t like that of a typical brother/sister. So, I will let Destiney do the side-eye for me.
GG makes it a big deal about her and Mike fucking once to Sherv and says she feels weird flirting in front of him because he so close to Shalom. Uh huh sure, because we all know how bothered Mike is about people cheating in relationships. I am not buying it at all. Especially because at dinner Mike acts like he could care less about Mona and mean mugs Neema the whole time. You know what; Mike and GG should just get married, make babies and have an open marriage.
MJ has a heart to heart talk with Destiney about opening up her heart and putting herself out there with a good Tinder profile. Then later while in bed she asks Reza to be her man of honor.
When the foursome returns Mike tries his hardest to put Mona in her place for her “philosophies”, but she isn’t the plastic barbies he is used to dealing with, she is smart and DGOF.
I love Mona, she is awesome
Reza says that if woman does not automatically find Mike amazing it is a blow to his ego and Mona just isn’t that girl.
The night ends with Neema hot on GG’s trail, saying she has an irrational hold on him that only his ex-wife had on him. I think Neema is a nerd who likes crazy and looks like the missing Persian Gunn Brother. He’s too sweet for GG but maybe this is the kind of man she should make babies with, because her kids will need one normal parent when she gets banned from the school grounds after fashioning a shiv out of ruler and threatening a teacher/PTA parent/principal. But it’s a kiss and miss with the promise of a friendly dinner back in LA.
The next morning GG tries out the Merriam Webster’s word of the day and announces that Sherv’s cologne is plagiarizing. Boobs out and trying to sound smart… someone is trying to impress a boy.
Hopefully not Sherv because he looks a little grossed out by her breasts
As everyone prepares to leave Reza and MJ decide to announce that Reza will be her man of honor. GG takes this special moment to ask them how Tommy feels about her having a man of honor that has had his dick inside of MJ. GG looksperfectly pleased with herself as MJ threatens to kick her out of the bridal party or not invite her to the wedding at all. As she walks out with Shervin declares that GG got the response she wanted from everyone and she is happy.
Because if I didn’t have my sham of a marriage to cry about what else would my storyline be… I have already used arthritis, my deafness, acting, trying to beat my sister’s ass, alienating my family and my own hair extensions
Back in LA, MJ is getting in bridal shape with Craig of Newlyweds fame. He is adorable and props to MJ because she is looking better, and I love Craig’s training techniques.
After a jog back to her fabulous new house, she is greeted by Vida and Tommy wedding planning.
Later MJ meets Destiney to buy wholesale candy and see how the Tinder love search is going. After reviewing the photos, she posted and tells her she is too covered. She needs something that is going to capture a man’s attention like she did with Tommy.
Destiney cracks me up because she is all of us when we are single and says she isn’t picky but frankly has a lot of deal breakers that totally legit.
At Mike’s real man house Reza comes by to see how it is coming along because he is the project manager for the renovation and it is not going well. Reza has a moment to yell at the crew and complain that Mike can’t even pick out a mailbox without help. He’s so worked up that he is sweating profusely.
The best part of Mike’s house
At Destiney’s house her and GG are leaving for a girl’s night out. GG is still talking about why she had to go so hard after MJ because she disrespected her, and she is not taking shit lying down like she has done in the past. Thankfully the producers backed this up with a montage of LochNessa’s greatest hits.
The bar is dead and there are no single guys. But thankfully the guys are having a guy’s night and they decide to call girls.
And GG “accidentally” shows her boobs on Facetime
These going out times were pretty boring aside from the girls letting Mona know her and Neema’s brother sister vibe is weird. Then the guys stuck Neema with the entire restaurant bill…
Vida accompanies MJ to the fertility doctor, a guy that they have all gone to high school with and has made many appearances on Shahs. Although his face is probably only a few years old. Vida is all Vida at the appointment and the doctor encourages Vida to be a positive force in Mercedes life rather than you know herself.
At the succulent store Mike and Reza meet up to look at expensive store stuff and then go buy at the cheaper Persian store. Ancient Persian shopping secret. Mike wants an avocado tree, so he doesn’t have to pay extra for guacamole anymore. But the most important part of this scene is learning about his newest soulmate…. Morgan.
She looks like she could be his ex-wife Jessica’s little sister
She’s pretty, smart … she like she found these amazing fichus hedge for his house and they share the same philosophies. TRUE LOVE! Reza points out that fichus hedges are everywhere and she didn’t “find” him anything. Also, she is very young and not the kind of girl that his mom wants for him.
Truer words have never be spoken
Finally, it’s time for MJ’s LOVE party! Destiney is furiously running around to get things in order before everyone arrives when MJ arrives wearing a dress defying gravity and logic. Adam is also on hand to notice the brother/sister love duo and recites the line Reza gave him. GG arrives with the man she wants to be her boyfriend Sherv and Mike who brought Morgan.
She also reminds us that she suffers from the deafness
Inside Mona meets Morgan without any drama and Neema zeroes in on GG. She says she is nervous because its Valentine’s Day and she is afraid any day now some random girl is going to call her about GG trying to get in on her man because apparentely in GG’s head that something that grown women do.
Sammy from season one shows up.
Vida thinks that she is only one who notices that the Drag Queen is a man as Destiney gathers everyone for an announcement. MJ not only announces her wedding date but also her man of honor, Reza and her bridesmen Craig and Brandon. GG and Adam handle the news extremely well as they shout at her and make faces.
GG cannot believe that she chooses these people who are new friends and part of her glam squad, so they are paid to kiss her ass, but she gets it… they aren’t competition.
Vida and MJ take moment to talk and somehow Vida is back on not being sure if Tommy is right for MJ. She is excited for the wedding, but she isn’t 100% sure about Tommy as a husband. I didn’t get this scene and seemed out of place. I mean the man is sitting with her dad who is dying as they are filming this scene…. That is LOVE.
GG is doing her best to Adam riled up about being left out of the bridal party. Reza gets all pissed that GG is trying to fuck with his relationship and goes to tell MJ how extra they are being. Then they decide to get on stage and point out to GG that Shalom’s other ex-wife is also in the house.
GG storms out of the party, insisting that Shervin take her home. Reza and his sneaker lifts come to talk to her and report immediately back to MJ the bear has been poked and its time make up now. MJ goes to have a one on one with GG but when she does GG just laughs and MJ leaves frustrated.
OK episode 3 recap coming next!
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