HooWoo. WooHoo. Where am I? Andales? No? MisRed has full support staff on-hand, and let me tell you, they are here to WHOOP IT UP ALL DAY LONG!!
Welcome back, kids. Already at Episode 2!! Seems like episode 22, doesn’t it? MisRed jokes, she kids. A little.
In the news this week, we learned that Briana will not be shown AT ALL this season. Of course, Vicki plays the victim- “It broke my heart. For the first time in 13 years, I don’t have my daughter on the green screen, behind me, in the opening credits.” Vicki misses her daughter on the green screen.
I read an interview with Victim:
“She was really in a place in her life with Ryan, Ryan just retired disability Marine, they decided to move to North Carolina, where he’s from, and build a life there,” Vicki explains. “This is my new normal now, flying cross-country. Could you have moved any farther away?! This is not, like, a weekend trip! So, I’m doing the red eyes out, getting there in the morning and just spending as much time with them, and then heading back. So, it’s my new normal.”
Yes, poor, poor Victim, flying the red-eye. So sad. Let me try to squeeze out a single Rinna tear.
Listen, MisRed knows that there’s a lot of backlash about Ryan and we all know he’s holding Briana hostage and all… but Briana is a grown woman, she can make her own choices. If Vicki was my Mom, well I would have run away as a small child but certainly I would have headed for zee hills as soon as humanly possible. Briana probably thought Oklahoma was far enough away to escape Vicki… she was wrong. So, she moved to North Carolina… it’s still not far enough. She should look into one of those islands where the natives have never seen modern humans, because THAT might be far enough.
What in the name of god IS that? RUNNNNN
Oh, other OC news, Tamra and David’s new penis holster have been fighting on social media. LOL, who cares? David.David!David? is gross. Oh, and just yesterday they showed off, new, matching tattoos.
Relationship ends in 3…2…1…
A pink heart on their middle fingers. The only way to curse a relationship more than a vow renewal is to get a tattoo of someone’s name. True this isn’t a name but… might as well be. I have sour cream with a longer expiration date than this relationship. And it looks like David is growing his hair. Oh good, because he is not enough of a cliché yet.
Last week, Tamra, Vicki, Shannon and Kelly did a ropes course to repair their friendship. We met Emily and her turtle-esque husband and wild kids. Eddie had a procedure on his heart that didn’t work. And Shannon took off her wedding ring.
Oh! MisRed forgot we didn’t have taglines because we had the DRAMATIC opening last week. So MisRed will share them now.
How much do you think Vicki paid Michael to appear in this photo?
Vicki: “The fun bus is leaving, and this time I’m in the driver’s seat.” Please drive that bus off a cliff. Twice.
Tamra: “I’m still the hottest Housewife in Orange County, and the toughest, too.” But now it’s just the hot flashes.
Kelly: “Call animal control, ‘cause there’s a cougar on the loose in the OC.” Eh. If she had to do the “cougar” thing, should have been “Lock your doors, boys, because there’s a cougar on the loose!” Because can’t you see animal control actually coming for Kelly with that steel pole with the loop on it? They would cart her out of the Quiet Woman like this…
I’m an attorney
Emily: “When you come from humble beginnings, you count your blessings… one diamond at a time.” Shut up. MisRed’s prediction, in 1 year she will either be divorcing or filing for bankruptcy.
Gina: “I speak the truth… even if it sounds funny when I say it.” THIS is what you came up with? Possibly the dumbest tagline ever.
Where am I? No ball in house.
Even Piggy did a better job.
Archie is a better husband than David ever was.
Shannon: “Some people say I’m too much to handle. I say, I’m just getting started.” Eh. Ok. Should have been “David says we are over, but I’m just getting started. David.David!David?” Still love “When life hands you lemons, put nine in a bowl!”
Over at Tamra’s she’s “trying to wash dishes in half a sink.” Poor you. But you chose to move in during construction, because it was easier. We see Eddie taking his blood pressure.
That banquette is going to get old REAL fast
Tamra wants to do something to help him, so she nags him about taking his medication. Tamra wants him to slow down a little and let him get adjusted to working out with a heart condition. Just then the doorbell rings and someone off camera says, “Vicki sent you guys food.”
A casserole? No. Some crappy takeout in plastic containers. Eddie is like “I’m not eating it.” Tamra says that Vicki is really trying to gain Tamra’s trust and she hopes Vicki washes her car next.
I don’t blame Eddie one bit
Tamra eats the food while Eddie snickers on the banquette which, ugh, will turn out to be a design mistake, mark MisRed’s words. He says he’d rather eat Bronx’s dog sh*t. (Their dog, not the New York Borough, to be clear.)
Over at Shannon’s 4,000 SQ, she is doing her eye makeup and jacks it up. LOL. Sophie comes in and talks to Shannon about their luggage. It’s the season of Fat Luggage. David.David!David?, as it turns out, is sending Shannon and the girls to Punta Mita so, as Shannon says, “he can go to Park City with someone else.”
Shannon tells the other ladies in a flashback -It’s the lifestyle I’m accustomed to, according to my lawyer. You know what? Get it girl. Show of hand of people who think David isn’t “just being nice?” He’s up to something. HOLY SH*T- has Shannon never watched Dateline? David is sending her to Mexico to have her kidnapped. Fast forward one year… The Mank is going to be interviewing resort staff in Punta Mita.
Or maybe Keith Morrison will be leaning on something, saying something like “Under a golden sunset, Shannon thought she was in paradise… alas, it was to be HER sunset. Her final sunset….” (Seriously, if you love Dateline like MisRed does, check out the “Date with Dateline” podcast. It’s pretty funny.)
They don’t have tampons in Mexico? They are probably made in Mexico.
Has Shannon ever packed a suitcase before? BOXES of tampons? Honey, get a Ziploc. OR, just do what MisRed does- throw them in loose so that when the TSA checks her bag- which they do- seriously- on EVERY trip- it’s like that old gag trick- the snake in the can of peanuts.
Even Archie is rolling his eyes, but then again, we’ve seen how he organizes his poop on the lawn.
Can they leave already so I can relax?
Shannon has packed 3 bottles of distilled water. Seriously Shannon. You are probably going to a f*cking resort- they can get that sh*t for you. Or. OR- use bottled water, it won’t kill you. Or hell, if you still want to lose a few pounds, just drink the tap water.
Tamra and Emily meet for a pedicure. MisRed actually likes Emily’s sweater. Kelly joins them. Wait, it’s manicures, not pedicures, but they are sitting in pedicure chairs. For f*ckssake. These betches are so extra.
Belt sander for Kelly’s feet is just out of frame.
Kelly is shocked to learn David.David!David? paid to send Shannon to Mexico. As Michael would never pay for Kelly to go to Mexico. Well, he might team up with David and have both of you disappear. Tamra says that Kelly is very socially active, and Emily says she is too. The first thing she does every morning is “I get up and go get coffee. And then I come back and get my kids ready for school.” OMG, this betch can’t make coffee at home?
Kelly asks Emily how long she’s been married, and we get the whole “google chat” story AGAIN. Kelly, so classy, is like – You guys HAD to have been banging before. Emily says they weren’t because Turtle is a Mormon.
Yes, yes, I know, Mormons are supposed to be straight arrows, but look at the dude that Jodi Arias killed. Big time Mormon but he was banging her like a screen door in a hurricane. Not that he deserved killin’.
Emily and Turtle at the cover-shoot for Ectotherms Monthly Magazine.
Emily clarifies that Turtle is half Persian and is also Mormon and Diapsid. She says that Mormon men make excellent husbands because they can’t drink or gamble and they are good in the sack because they can’t watch porn.
All of MisRed’s best tricks she has learned from watching porn.
Emily explains that she has FIVE kids- two step-daughters and then the 3 that we met last week. The Feral girl- Nell and the two hellions- Killer and … I forget the other one’s name. Knowing these women, I’m sure it’s something classic like, Tommy or Billy or Mungbean.
She then explains that her sister gave birth to all of her children. Emily had six miscarriages and she went through IVF and got pregnant with twins but lost them at 4 months.
Ok, that’s f*cking sad, y’all. Jesus. MisRed does not like to feel things. IT’S UNNATURAL.
Emily still has 9 female embryos left. She would like to have another baby to give her daughter a sister, you know, in case Nell needs to have a baby carried for her, but the Turtle says no.
This is going to be what leads to their divorce. Just a theory MisRed is working on.
Tamra goes to the car wash and then gets a FaceTime from Shannon- calling from Mexico. They talk and the carwash gets louder and louder and louder. Really? This is a scene?
If MisRed hears the words “Lucy & Ethel” uttered, she is going to stab someone and wind up on Dateline herself. The Mank will be interviewing me and MisRed will look all normal, but then at the end you’ll find out MisRed is in jail for stabbing one of these dicks who refers to themselves as Lucy & Ethel.
Shannon wants Tamra and Vicki to come join her in Mexico. Tamra is game, but isn’t sure what Eddie will say.
Over at Vicki’s, Steve the Crooked Cop is preparing dinner. Vicki trudges in and asks him when he is going to get her to retire? Shut up Vicki. He is like- retire now. “I can’t. We are still in growth mode!”
In Vicki’s talking head she says that the roles are definitely reversed in her life- Steve is the one that gets home first. I guess being a Crooked Cop isn’t a full-time gig? Steve starts dinner, blah blah blah. She says she feels like the man of the house. Well one more chin hair, Vick and you might just capture the title.
She then starts to criticize him- You are keeping the skin on while you cook it??? SteveTCC is like- yeah. Vicki says “I don’t want to see the skin. I want you to peel it off for me.” You know, just like Vicki’s plastic surgeon. Just peeeeeeeel the skin off.
Then Vicki goes through the “Honey Do” list and she says that if they divide the chores she has to know that he is going to do his assignments. He must reply back “Done,” like her staff does. Steve TCC tells her he’s not her staff. Well, that’s what you think, Steve. Vicki interviews that it’s a lot of work to run her house and “it’s not meant for one single chick like me.” So, downsize Vicki. Don’t be so stupid.
Vicki says that there’s only one more bucket list item, to “put a ring on my finger.” Ugh.
Ew. Vicki’s fingers are longer and more reptilian-like than MisRed noticed.
SteveTCC asks how was the ropes course? Vicki says that she and Tamra are totally fine. <Coughcoughremainstobeseencoughcough>. But that she has one more hurdle and that’s Eddie. SteveTCC doesn’t understand.
LOK See? He doesn’t listen to a goddamn word she says. Vicki explains that she *thinks* Eddie is mad at her, so she needs to make up with him.
You know how dramatic these Queens can be.
She wants to apologize for ever doubting his love for Tamra. Uh… is that what spreading a rumor that he is gay is? Doubting his love for Tamra.
She ends the scene saying, “It’s always damage control, all the time.” Ok, so by that ONE LINE we all know that Vicki has not changed her f*cking spots. She is still the same horrible, disgusting animal she always was. Nothing has changed.
ANOTHER Tamra scene… This time we cut to the Cunt Fitness, and Eddie teaching a class to some of Tamra’s friends. Eddie is going to do the verbal part and Tamra will do the physical part so that Eddie doesn’t get his heart rate up to high. A bunch of girls come in- Gina- the new housewife, being one of them. Apparently, she and Tamra are friends. Kelly and Emily also join them.
Oh good, Emily is going to be the one who continually tells us how busy she is. “Most women in Orange County don’t have to work, but I have 3 toddlers AND A JOB.” You also have a Turtle, don’t forget about that.
They all work out. Filler scene.
This is how Kelly wrangles all of the single d*ck she’s getting.
Let’s all sit around and try to one-up each other
The “ladies” sit and talk afterwards and we learn that Gina is from Long Island and her accent sticks out like a sore thumb or so she thinks.
I’m so unique because I have an accent.
She says she has 3 kids- 5, 3 and 2. Emily has to one-up sayings that HER kids are “5, 3 and 3.” Didn’t she say 5 minutes ago that she had 3 toddlers? Is the 5-year-old considered to still be a toddler? Maybe because she’s feral?
When my niece was 5, if I had called her a toddler, she would have tied me to a chair and stuck in in the middle of traffic.
Oh, but Emily adds “PLUS I’m an attorney.” Oh good, we can’t hear that enough. Did you guys know that Carole ran the marathon?
Gina’s husband works in LA so he keeps an apartment there during the week and she really doesn’t even know where it is. Tamra interviews that there would be NO WAY she would let Eddie keep an apartment somewhere else. Well Gina and her husband are getting a divorce so all of this bullsh*t she’s spouting about how it works for them is just that- bullsh*t.
They all agree that it’s a little bit of an odd situation. Gina says that she really loves that her husband is gone during the week – she just likes to not shower and wear sweatpants.
I’m a regular slob, but with a New York accent.
Ok, Gina, whatever.
I’ve already had 4 bunches of bananas. woohoo
Vicki, just coming from playing a Gorilla at a children’s party, calls Kelly from her car.
Who wore it better?
Is MisRed onto something here?
Today is the day that wants to “apologize” to Eddie. Kelly tells her to just do it- that when she has apologized to people they have always accepted it and that Eddie seems like a pretty cool guy. Victim then says “Yeah, but, well, he was not so kind about me, either. So, I’m not gonna remind him, but they were pretty much trashing me.”
Kelly interviews that you don’t apologize and then go back and retract and say “Oh, what he did was mean to me, too.” Well Kelly, you don’t know Vicki, obviously.
Second confirmation that Vicki has not changed one bit.
Kelly tells her to just apologize and not bring up their stuff- and to just move forward.
Before we get to the apology, we have to go to Gina’s house.
Well Shannon couldn’t live here.
No word on how many square feet it is. But it’s straight-up Ross Dress for Less and you know it was JUST purchased for the show.
She had a coupon at Ross
She is playing hide and seek with her kids. She is wearing jeans that look like the kind she’s had forever and have just worn in all the right places. Not.
Gina tells us that she is a “survivalist parent.” Which is code for: I have zero control over my kids. I don’t even try. And by the look of it, the kids are just trying to survive as well.
Yes, that’s lit candles on a bed… on top of polyester monkey fur blankets, around rambunctious children.
She’s not a regular mom. She’s a COOL mom.
She introduces us to her three rabid beasts kids. We have Nicholas (Age 5), who was coddled. She didn’t know what she was doing and she held him for a year because she didn’t know that you could put a baby down.
Gina, don’t admit how f*cking dumb you are in Scene 1. You could have read a book. You could have asked your Mom. You could have asked a friend. You could have googled it. You could have watched Caesar Milan. You could have watched YouTube.
We meet Luca, who is 2. She tells us that she “tends to lose Luca.”
Anyone calling Child Protective Services?
And Sienna, the girl, who is 3. She is sent to the backyard to retrieve rosemary from a bush. She describes her as “rad” and “badass.” She says she can’t get her to do anything that she doesn’t want to do.
Hmmm, looks fun.
Well, now we understand why the husband stays away all week.
Gina is from Long Island and apparently was raised by Carole Radziwill.
I wanted to name her Baaaaaaaaaby.
Gina has time to style this kids hair into a perfect Mohawk but can’t find her 2-year-old. She tells her kids they are going to have a broccoli race and the kids shove Broccoli into their mouths and practically choke.
She tells her kids to wipe their mouths with a napkin. Actually, she SUGGESTS that they do- and the oldest one wipes his mouth on his shirt.
MisRed gets that parents don’t want to be mean and they just want to be their kid’s friend… there is zero correction in this household that we can see, at least at this juncture. And we wonder why kids today are unable to focus and settle down and get jobs and move out of their parents’ houses.
But you need a license to catch a fish.
Vicki calls Tamra and says she happens to be in the area and wants to come by. Tamra and Eddie are at a restaurant and Vicki wants to come by and talk to Eddie. Eddie is like “You are going to have her come by and interrupt our lunch?” Tamra thinks it’s important for her to hear Vicki and Eddie talk. Eddie asks Tamra if Vicki apologized to her. Tamra says that Vicki’s method of apology is “non-traditional.”
Eddie says he’s not going to accept a half-ass apology, and Eddie says he has no intention of being friends with her. Eddie orders himself a stiff drink.
Vicki’s coming, I’ll take a side order of crack cocaine?
They discuss that Vicki drinks a dirty martini with blue-cheese-stuffed olives. Eddie says, “She drinks a dirty martini because she is dirty.”
High Five Eddie. …. Don’t leave me hangin’
MisRed will join you.
They order a drink for Vicki. Eddie can’t believe that Tamra even wants to be friends with Vicki. Eddie asks Tamra to remember all of the times that she and Eddie fought about Vicki.
Vicki interviews that in order to make things right with Tamra, she has to make things right with Eddie. LOL. Like that was Vicki’s idea!!?! Oh Vicki.
Yeah, I just came from a kid’s circus party over in Laguna.
Vicki arrives and Tamra tells her that Eddie ordered her a drink. She sits down and says that she has a lot to say. She says that she loves Tamra and in turn she loves Eddie because he “is a recipient of that love.” You KNOW Vicki didn’t write this sh*t herself, right? She continues that she never meant to hurt Eddie (not true), and that there “is no excuse for it, we were at such a bad place…” Wait, that’s an excuse, right? Vicki says she was 100% wrong. She asks if they can be friends, she says that Steve wants to get to know him.
Eddie says that when Vicki spread that rumor, it hurt their marriage. Eddie didn’t care personally about the rumor because… Vicki interjects “Because you know the truth.” Then Tamra says that one day her son came home and told Tamra that one of his friends told him that Eddie was gay. Ouch. Vicki gets very flustered- which is all an act.
Vicki is really f*cking a monster. Which is an insult to monsters.
Vicki says “Okay, okay, can you not say that anymore that loud?”
What? Say what? There is nothing wrong with being gay, if the person is, in fact, gay and is, in fact, out of the closet. To spread a rumor that someone is gay or that someone is ANYTHING that they aren’t is mean and gross. Even if Eddie is GAY, Vicki spread this rumor to be nasty, she did it to hurt him and to hurt Tamra. It’s unforgivable in MisRed’s opinion. The only way MisRed could forgive something like this if the person had TRULY changed, and we KNOW Vicki has not changed. The only thing Vicki changes is her face.
Eddie says that the only reason he cares that she said this is because it affected his marriage. Vicki asks for his forgiveness and says she has “been searching in the Bible and I pulled up some incredible things in, uh, Deuteronomy and Proverbs.”
Eddie busts out laughing. Vicki says she wants to give it to him and wants him to read it. Vicki whips out a piece of paper from her bag. She says she spent a long time working on this- until 4 in the morning.
Hang on, I’m misquoting the Bible.
She reads from the paper “Keeping your mouth shut. Deuteronomy, 18:13, Number two, when you haven’t verified the story. Deuteronomy again. If your words will be a poor reflection of the Lord or your friends and your family. So, I hurt you and I’m sorry. When you would be ashamed of your words. I am. If your words would convey a wrong impression. They did. If the issue is none of your business. It wasn’t. If your words will damage somebody’s reputation. If your words will destroy a friendship. So, this is my – this is my truth and it took a long time and it took me a long time to figure out what I was gonna say to you. With your permission, I am asking for forgiveness.”
Ok, A) Anybody study the Bible out there. MisRed, admittedly does not, but when I just looked up Deuteronomy 18… that’s not what I read or could interpret from what I read. But MisRed is a minion os Satan so… B) You know Vicki did not look through the Bible until 4am. Some PA was tasked with this sh*t and handed Vicki the piece of paper to memorize. C) MisRed cannot stand this MY truth business. There is only THE truth- and I blame Oprah for this MY truth nonsense. D) Worst of all, Vicki is a false prophet. She spews these words but does not live the life behind them. Suck it, Vicki.
And Eddie … to get his Housewives bonus… says that he will forgive her and he starts to talk and Vicki just talks over him. “Where it started was a man who was lying to me and I felt 100% alone.”
That’s two more excuses, so we are currently at 3.
Flashback to Brooks and Vicki meeting with a doctor and Vicki saying -they are accusing him of faking cancer. To which the Doctor responds, looking at Brooks’s paperwork (the paperwork he faked) “It’s really showing that you have a large mass in there, unless someone faked this.”
Yes, that large mass is actual bullsh*t
Vicki continues “I didn’t have my best friend.” Excuse #4. Eddie says that Tamra was trying to protect Vicki- which is true. Vicki responds, “I know, but then she turned on me.” Excuse #5
Tamra interviews that this is totally typical of Vicki- she blames everybody for the things that come out of her mouth.
Vicki says to Eddie “And then you turned on me.” Excuse #6 She finally says, “Eddie I’m sorry.”
Eddie says he accepts her apology but it will take a long time to build the trust back. Then Vicki says, “Will you make my butt look like Tamra’s?” Shut up, Vicki, your ass is never going to look like Tamra’s. They all agree to move on and high five.
Eddie enters into a pact with the Devil
And then a portal to hell opens and the earth swallows them up. The End.
Vicki says in her talking head “I learned a big life lesson. Don’t talk about people because it will come back to hurt you.”
Hey Victim, how about “don’t talk about people because it’s wrong.” Or if you claim to be religious, “don’t talk about people because the Bible tells you it’s sinful.” Nope. Vicki just worries about what will come back and how it will hurt her.
Ok, gotta get this Gorilla suit back by 2. Enjoy your lunch.
Vicki interviews that she will never do that again and HOPEFULLY they will never do what they did again either.
Lest you think she meant it…
In the car, Vicki calls Kelly and says that she’s going to stop by.
Emily is going to a Pretty Woman Movie Party at Alamo Draft House.
Turtle is hitting up Captain D’s.
Emily and Turtle go out for their anniversary- and they look like they are going to completely different events. Emily really congratulates herself on staying married to this Turtle for 9 years. But I bet it’s the fact that she’s an attorney is the reason she was able to do it. These two are the most boring people alive. We learn that Turtle comes from money, but Emily insists he work to be an example to his kids.
Apparently, that day, they sent all kids to school without lunch- and seem to be fine announcing it on camera. You forget to feed ALL of your kids… seriously? Listen if the kid forgets to take the lunch that’s one thing, but if you forget to make it… it’s time to evaluate your priorities.
Emily says that she knew that Turtle was a good Dad and would be a good partner.
“But if it doesn’t work out, I’m an attorney, I can just do my own divorce.”
- I had no idea she was an attorney
- Get way to think when diving into a marriage.
Yes, MisRed gets that this was a joke, but I’m already over these two.
They discuss having one more kid and Turtle says no. Again. Turtle is like- you’ve had enough. Like it’s ice cream. He’s like- if you want to have another kid, you need to leave me and find someone else. They talk about their 9 embryos… maybe Tinsley can use them.
Emily gets upset in her interview about her 9 embryos.
Divorce is on the horizon, mark MisRed’s words.
At Kelly’s, Vicki works to navigate the spiral staircase. She acts like she’s never seen one before.
Victor Hugo sent me, where’s the bell?
“It’s like a winding staircase.” Vicki the genius.
They look around the apartment and Kelly says she’s “Trying to be mid-century modern.” Uh, you need to try harder. Right now, it’s present-day-tacky.
Um, yeah, it’s, uh, coming along.
Kelly says she wants to address a rumor with Vicki. Between the time that Vicki called and said she was coming over and the time she got there, Kelly got a flurry of text messages saying that Vicki set Psycho Mike up with somebody.
Kelly says she is hearing that Vicki “hooked up Michael?”
Everybody engage your shields. Deflection incoming.
Vicki twatsplains that she had a BBQ 4 months earlier- that Kelly, clearly, did not attend- and Psycho Mike was there and he met some rando chick Vicki had there and they ended up swapping digits. Vicki says – really fast- in the way she does when she KNOWS she’s wrong but trying to deflect, “I didn’t hook up anybody. They communicated afterwards. I’m out.”
I feel a case of the Vickis coming on…
Kelly is like- And you didn’t tell me? Why? Vicki says that she didn’t know where it was going and that it was none of her business.
Ok, from anyone else, MAYBE this could be acceptable- that it was none of her biz. But these two are thick as thieves.
Vicki interviews that Kelly is dating and she’s fine and she even said that she wanted Michael to find a girlfriend.
True. She did. But Kelly isn’t mad about Michael seeing someone, Kelly is mad about Vicki being a BAD FRIEND and not informing her. It’s a complete betrayal.
Vicki reasons “It’s his responsibility to tell you.” Kelly is like- but you are my friend. Vicki continues “Don’t blame me. You take it up with Michael.” Kelly is like- but I thought you would have told me…. Vicki goes on “I had a BBQ, I had no idea what happened from there. Steve and I have gone out with them a few times…”
Oh Vicki. How does that foot taste?
Kelly is like- YOU’VE GONE OUT WITH THEM A FEW TIMES?!?!! Vicki says she would never tell Kelly.
See, this is why Vicki is such a colossal dick. Or, I mean, ONE reason why she is a colossal dick. She is NOT a good friend.
- You don’t invite your friend’s psycho ex-husband to a BBQ
- If you are aware that this invite has resulted in a dating stich, if you are a good friend, you say something. You can say “Hey, just wanted to let you know- Psycho Mike met someone at my BBQ. Not sure where it’s going, but wanted you to know so you weren’t blindsided.”
- You certainly don’t GO OUT WITH THEM MULTIPLE TIMES and NOT mention it to your, supposed, closest friend. It’s a dick move.
All of Vicki’s moves are DICK MOVES.
Kelly is like- you would never tell me? She is getting upset and ANGRY.
Yes. Yes they would.
Then Vicki tosses out this gem “You’re gonna twist this and make this my fault for not for not telling you that I know he’s dating someone.” Yep. Yes. That’s exactly what we are doing- minus, of course- the twisting. The only one twisting in this scenario is Vicki.
Kelly is like- anybody would say that’s f*cked up. Vicki tells Kelly to not point her finger at her and that it’s not her fault the Psycho Mike is dating someone.
Vicki may want to look up the definition of the word “care.”
Nobody said it was Vicki’s fault that Psycho Mike was dating someone, it’s Vicki’s fault that she didn’t let Kelly know, particularly, as Vicki’s sticky little fingers were involved in how they met.
Vicki tries to make it out that the reason she didn’t tell Kelly is because she cares so much about Kelly. Kelly is like- that breaks my heart. Kelly maintains that Vicki should have told her.
Vicki “If you want to do stupid drama, I’m out. You are causing problems when there doesn’t need to be any.” Kelly is like- obviously you are not my friend and you should leave.
Kelly is really crying. I don’t think she’s upset about Michael, she’s upset that Vicki doesn’t behave like a friend.
Vicki is like- she’s out of line. If I have single girlfriends who want to meet her ex-husband it’s none of Kelly’s business. She is the one who dumped him!
Psycho Mike’s new girlfriend. Can you imagine???
OMG Vicki- you are stupid on so many levels. The depth of your idiocy knows no bounds. How would Vicki feel if Eddie and Tamra had double-dated with Donn and his new girlfriend? How would Vicki feel if everyone had known for a fact that Brooks was faking cancer and didn’t tell her because it was HIS responsibility to tell her and it was none of their business?
Sure you do.
Then Vicki lumbers down the spiral stairs. Where is Michael Petersen when you need him? Ok, that was mean, but seriously- someone needs to knock some sense into Vicki. She’s almost too dumb to walk on two legs.
Next week… the discord between Kelly and Vicki continues. Vicki and Tamra meet Shannon in Mexico.
Whose side are you on? That’s rhetorical, because if you are on Vicki’s side… stop reading my recaps cuz MisRed is gonna make you maaaaaaddddddd. Okaaaaay? Sorrrrrry. Channeling Ramona for you. What do you guys think about Emily and Gina? Are they one hit wonders or do you think they will eventually find their places with these shrews?
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