Hey Trash Bags!
So, we are down to the final six “chefs.” For some reason, Cory is out sick this week. I didn’t know that was an option…maybe he ate some of the food prepared on this show?
Okay, why do they invite people on this show? They always have some head of some company to introduce a product, and then they are never seen or heard from again. It irks me. Let them judge this crappy food for crying out loud! Anyway, this week our guest is Amy Alarcon, the VP of culinary something or other at Popeye’s Chicken.
H & G…HI AND GOODBYE
Apparently she is there because at Popeye’s, they season their chicken for HOURS, but they make it quickly. Umm…or they season it for a second, and store it under a heat lamp for hours? Actually, I shouldn’t talk, because I’ve never actually eaten at a Popeye’s. Not a huge fried chicken fan…I know…stab me.
Of course, Rusty, our resident fatty pulls out the commercial theme song, “Love that chicken from Popeyes!” It is pretty catchy, I must admit. Alright, so the challenge is to make a dish that typically takes hours to prepare, and make it in 30 minutes. Sounds delish! Oh, and it has to be portable, so you have to be able to eat it with one hand. Who makes up these challenges? I’d love to be in that writer’s room.
The five contestants (minus Cory- which isn’t really fair in my opinion) all pick a dish and a way in which it will be served.
David- pot roast/sandwich (again, kind of unfair)
Jason- osso bucco/ wrap
Matthew- coq au vin/ pastry
Rusty- boeuf bourguignon/ stick
Amy- chili con carne/ ball
Jason doesn’t know what coq au vin is, and to be quite honest, nether do I. The difference between us (not the only one, I hope) is that I don’t claim to have attended a french culinary school…so I’ve got that going for me. Apparently, it’s chicken with red wine or something.
They begin cooking, and of course, Matthew is “killing it.” Do you guys hate him as much as I do? UGH! Amy is struggling, and mentions balls about a billion times. She tries to make some pasty type of thing, and Matthew says, with about 5 minutes left, “Why didn’t you just make meatballs?” Well, this is the one time that Matthew and I agree. I thought the same thing. She does, and they are all ready to be judged.
Of course, Jason does a great job. Matthew finished in 18 minutes and is very proud of himself, as usual. Bobby and Giada are not (also as usual) and tell him he should have used all of his time. David’s sandwich is too spicy, and Amy’s balls are a bit chewy. Rusty is proud of his French dish and greets Giada and Bobby with a, “Bon Giornio!” That’s Italian, you idiot.
HOW DO YOU SAY “OOPSIE” IN FRENCH?
Jason’s dish and presentation wins and he gives us his typical, “Slap me silly, Jesus.” Or something similar.
Next up, we get another guest. It’s a giant Troll doll!! Oh, wait, it’s Anne Burrell.
PUT ME ON TOP OF A PENCIL…STAT!
They are going to do a bit of a Beat Bobby Flay challenge, where they will be split into two teams, and the losers will have to challenge Bobby, or be eliminated. Jason is one captain because he won the previous challenge, and he chooses Amy as the other captain. They both choose teams and they are:
Oh yeah, Cory is back. The ingredient that they will have to use is…the tomato. Snooze fest 2017. Although he is not the captain, Matthew immediately starts talking and doesn’t stop. He suggests a heirloom tomato salad, and they go with it.
Amy’s team decides to make a tomato carpaccio, but with about five minutes left, decide that they need to change it to a tomato steak.
Both teams finish, and they must pick someone to present. Of course, our team douche Matthew, insists that he’ll do a great job, but Jason trumps him and presents himself. Amy presents for her team and crashes and burns. Of course, Jason’s team wins, and now Amy, Cory and David will have to cook against Bobby Flay. They all choose their signature dish and Bobby will make all three in the time that they make their own. They will have one hour to cook, and then Anne will do a blind taste test.
Amy- Butter baked filet and veggies
David- Shrimp and grits
Cory- Pan roasted duck and red-eyed gravy
They all begin cooking, and Giada is having the time of her life pestering Bobby as he’s trying to cook. Did I mention that I hate her? Everything is going pretty well. Bobby is rushed and Amy finishes her filet and it’s perfect. Unfortunately, she sets it on a hot grill and it over cooks, so she restarts…leaving her with very rare meat.
MATCHING TATOO AND DRESS
Let’s cut to the chase gang. Everyone finishes and Anne judges all the dishes. There is only one chef who beat Bobby Flay. Drum roll….it’s Cory. Is anyone shocked? Didn’t think so. Didn’t he just win best chef in America or something? Well, Anne has to go to the score cards now, and I hate to break it to ya…but David goes home.
I’m cool with that. I actually really like Amy and I hope she goes far. Although, you really don’t win anything anyway. Am I right, Tregaye? Was that her name from last season? Oh well, see ya next week my loves!