What’s up everybody? Buckle in, because there’s Big Brother every day the rest of this week except for Saturday – although I guess if you have the feeds there’s Big Brother on all day everyday, so…let’s get into it!
Some highlights from last week:
Cody was evicted.
On his way out Cody was like “PS, Mark and Dominique will destroy you all so take them DOWN”.
Alex won HOH after wall bargaining with Elena.
Paul kept on Paulin’.
Dominque started getting a little weird. Weirder. Cryptically.
“Beware of whispers in the night and chest tattoos that defy reason; my toast shall never crisp.”
Finally, Alex decided on her nominations, which were Jessica and Dom the Dominating Dominator.
Day 24? It hasn’t even been a month yet? Where am I.
After the nomination ceremony, Alex tells us that she nominated Dom to take numbers away from the other side, and Jessica because she’s Jessica. The stress of being HOH starts to get to Alex as she does a Raven style flail-dance in the pantry.
There’s only room for one quirk dancer in this house, damnit!
Jessica is determined to win the power of veto and take herself off the block, while Dominique has landed on the unconventional strategy of napping.
You’re doing great.
Paul is super psyched that Dom is a nom – oooh, Nominique? Yes. Okay. So Paul’s excited that Nominique is on the block, and he goes to the DR to congratulate himself on being such a great “puppet master”.
It’s more like sheep herder at this point, but whatever.
Side note, have you looked at the “clothes” Paul “designs”? They pretty much all make the mistake of thinking the word “fuck” means it’s funny.
Cool idea! I’m going to go live with my parents too! Thanks, Paul.
Anyway, moving on from Your Boy, Mark goes to console Dom in her Den of Hibernation (like the Den of Temptation but less snakes). Dom tells Mark that Paul and Elena have betrayed her, and she starts to cry.
As sad and somewhat offputting as it is to see Andre the Giant (well, giant pecs at least) cry, all I can think about is how he reminds me of a Berenstain Bear.
Maybe it’s just me.
Mark stops crying long enough to vow to win power of veto and save Dominique, and Dominique…well. Okay look guys, this is tricky territory, but where IS the line between just a regular religious life and mental imbalance? Because Dom thinks God is talking to her – like, fairly mundane things but actual words. He told her she was being nominated, and when she goes to the bathroom and starts speaking in tongues God tells her who is behind the betrayal.
OH NO, now he’ll appear!
Sure enough, Paul has been summoned, Bloody Mary style. The editors are having a lot of fun adding in snake sounds and horror movie music whenever Paul is on screen, and I have to say I’m into it. Dom asks Paul if he’d ever betray her even a little bit, and Paul’s like “What, Your Boy? But friendship! I cannot tell a lie”.
Is this not my friendship bracelet upon your very wrist?
Paul tells Dom that he thinks the shomances + Paul + Dom alliance is dying, and since it’s falling apart by itself he’s out – it’s every snake for himself. Dom files that information away for later because it’s veto comp time!
Alex draws Kevin to play, Jessica gets guest’s choice so she chooses Whistlenut, Mark cries, and Dom draws Christmas.
As long as it doesn’t cut into physical therapy time or involve water or moving, I’m down!
Jessica chose wisely with her…choice…because Whistlenut wants to use the Power of Veto on Jessica and nominate Raven to ensure Dom’s eviction; after all, what kind of monster could vote to evict cute little sweet ghost hunter Raven?
Me. I am definitely that kind of monster.
The veto comp this week is VERY squirrel-centric, and I love it.
HIS ACORN IS LIKE A TINY HEART, YOU GUYS.
Contestants have to balance on a swaying beam to cross “lava”, hit the buzzer on their sacred squirrel statue on the other side, come BACK over the beam and circle their post. Hey, did production forget the theme? This isn’t very tempty. Oh also, they have to cross back and forth 50 times, and if they fall off even once their score is reset to zero.
It turns out they made Christmas get dressed up for nothing, because she isn’t medically cleared to compete and has to just sit there.
I guess you could say…Christmas is cancelled. Sorry, bye.
To be the announcer this comp, Paul is wearing a fur vest and has a whip that he very nearly takes out Josh’s eye with.
Watch it meatball!
Oh, there is a temptation element after all! Whoever lifts up their golden chalice first will get a cash prize but also be out of the competition. I really want Kevin to go for the temptation because I am afraid for his ankles.
Don’t be a hero, Kevin.
Everyone’s falling in the lava left and right, and it takes Kevin three days to make it across even once. But as Mark points out, that means he’s beating Christmas by one.
Whistlenut puts his rodeo skills to work, and is the early leader with Dom and Alex not too far behind. Finally, after one too many trips to the lava, Kevin does what comes naturally and takes the cash. He wins all of $27, but that’s more than anyone else has so far, and it bumps up his grand total of temptation cash.
Eventually, the only people who haven’t had their scores reset are Alex and Whistlenut, and Dominique is willing them to fall. They’re tied at 49, then Whistlenut just barely manages to complete the final lap first.
May the power of veto be with you
Side note: what is happening to Raven’s hair?
ALL THAT WAS EXTENSIONS?!
Paul refuses to take off his veto comp announcer outfit, and starts working on his plan to nominate Mark as a pawn against Nominique. He tells Alex what a great idea that would be, then tries to convince Whistlenut that it’s Alex’s idea. Paul is SO smug and self satisfied; he’s having such a great time acting like this is just some plan Whistlenut and Alex came up with and he’s just gong along with it.
TAKE OFF THE VEST. Not in a sexy way, just put on something else.
Alex and Whistlenut fill Mark in on the plan, but the thought of being a tool to get rid of Dom breaks Mark’s little heart.
Or, fairly large heart, probably.
But seriously, why is there so much negotiation going on? Alex, you’re HOH, Whistlenut, you have the power! Stop listening to Paul, stop asking people if they want to be on the block or not and just make a move.
One person who’s stopped napping and started getting real campaigny is Nominique. Oh wait, she’s not campaigning, she’s being ridiculous. She calls Whistlenut aside for a private chat where she says “There’s a snake but I won’t tell you who it is or if it’s a man or a woman or if they live in this house or who I am”.
Whistlenut goes right back upstairs to Paul’s Den of Manipulation and fills everyone in on the snake speak. So…that plan went really well for Dom. Later, Dom pretends to sleep only to leap out of bed when she hears Alex walk by.
Paranormal Activity 27: Snake Den
Once Dom has Alex cornered, she gives Alex an impromptu snake class that fails to contain even a hint of actual information.
Now, do snakes have legs? Where does the word snake come from?
After the snake lesson, Dom says she wants to have a house meeting, and then mentions there’s a tempter in the house. Next, in a separate sentence, she says “Paul”, so you know – she didn’t technically say that Paul is the snake. She just said there is a snake, and then she said the word Paul. It checks out.
Alex scurries back upstairs to tell Paul that Dominique definitely said Paul is a snake and that she also wants to have a house meeting.
Mark and Elena are so shocked they die.
Just when you think there’s no way Paul could possibly get any cooler, he goes downstairs to get Dom out of bed for a house meeting right that very second, doing some weird approximation of snake movements with his arms and hissing. Despite the snake impression, Dom goes with him to the HOH room where it’s pretty much an ambush of her former friends and allies.
The meeting turns out to be just Paul yelling at Dom while she refuses to come out with any clear accusations, but she does makes the prophecy that Paul will be evicted – hallelujah! Her behavior is so weird that even Mark knows she has to go.
Alex and Whistlenut butt heads over how to use the POV, since Whistlenut still wants to replace Jessica (oh yeah, she’s still on this show!) with Raven, and Alex wants to replace Jessica with Mark.
They both want Dominque to go home, so I don’t know why it’s such a big problem. Oh hey, remember when you thought Paul DEFINITELY couldn’t get any cooler? Check it out.
He makes a “snake” costume using a snakeskin dress and some half-assed stripes on his face, but believe me – the stripes are better than the alternative. On the feeds this week he was floating around the idea of doing blackface or a black ski mask, so…yeah, the stripes were best case scenario.
The two nominees make last ditch speeches to save their skins; Jessica’s is pretty standard “save me” while Dom’s is more snakey snake snake.
WE GET IT.
In the end, Whistlenut decides not to use the power of veto on anyone.
Thanks a lot.
Well, that does it for this one, guys. Well Dominique become Evictinique…or…something? Will everyone change their minds and vote out Jessica? Will Dominque speak in tongues one more time and freak me out? I don’t know, but I’m most excited to see what Raven’s final form will be.