[the_ad id=”393127″]


Dear Crabby is a TVGasm alum with her main credits being Toddlers & Tiaras, Ugly Betty and Celebrity Apprentice. Likes include black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and dark chocolate, and the treadmill that allows for those meals. Dislikes include children of any kind and stupid people who don't get her jokes. Hobbies include her dogs, chickens, gardening, harshly judging others and binge-watching shows on Hulu and Netflix now that the cord to the evil cable company has been cut.
  • @labowner: Statler and Waldorf r a treasure! For shame to speak their name in the same breath as these dried out husks of demon women! For shaaaaaame!!!

  • labowner

    They are the real-life female versions of Statler and Waldorf.

  • taliba

    I am so with you Eye Dios Mios: these are the meanest, most immature women I have witnessed in a while. They are by far more child bully-like than any of their baby counterparts from Toddlers and Tiaras (and I witnessed some of these kids acting out in person, my granddaughter is a pageant girl). Vanassa brags about her Native American heritage but has none of the dignity, sensitivity, or spiritual strength you tend to see from individuals who grow up in or with knowledge of that rich culture. It’s hard to pick a favorite because they are all so vain and malicious.

  • I watched this last night after reading your minicap, your minicap was THAT GOOD. And I have to agree with you on a few points and then disagree on a couple of others.
    Meanness: These are the meanest women I’ve ever seen on TV, that wasn’t scripted by Marc Cherry. I mean DAYUM, they were taking some mean digs at the women in the pageant and each other.
    Lori Ann: She’s an idiot, but at least she’s affable
    Leha: She seems too nice and down to earth. It looks like the ladies go after her husband next week and say he threatened them. He probably called them all a bunch of botoxed twats after they were insulting HIS WIFE and then fabricated the whole thing. You need proof? How about
    Pantsuit-gate! That whole thing was beyond ridiculous. Firstly, Vanassa is a moron for letting it get to her. She immediately started screaming at Susanna. Now Susanna is stupid for wearing it, she should have changed but it’s not like they were making an “appearance” or anything. Vanassa came off like a hysterical bully. Susanna just kept looking stupid. Her boob comment was out of stupidity. I think she was trying to be eighth grade mean and forgot about the breast cancer, but now Vanassa has something to carry on about the rest of this stupid show.
    These women were HORRIBLE. My favorites were Leha and Lori Ann. They were the least hateful.

  • Umpuleeze

    I have no words. But thank goodness Crabby did! Who tells a breast cancer survivor to get their boobs fixed? And if you KNOW someone is wearing what you are going to wear…put on something different! How is that not a no-brainer?

  • Waterlover

    I didn’t watch this, nor was I going to read the recap, but when I saw that the Most Excellent Dear Crabby was writing the recap, I just had to read. So glad I did! This recap is excellent and reminded me, once more, how wonderfully snarky and talented you are, Most Exhaulted One. Love it!