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Hepburn hails from the City of Brotherly Love and currently lives in The City of Angels. It is her mission to live in every ironically-named city that exists. She loves "Improvisational comedy" (aka make 'em ups), Dogs, Cheese, BBC programming, Red Wine, Carbs, Ronnie K., Pinterest, Reality TV, her cute-ass family and snarky commenters. She is currently in desperate need of a vacation and/or drugs that make her feel like she's on a vacation. She's is specifically on a quest to find the (alleged) drugs from Mexico that Rachel Zoe gave Nicole Richie in 2002. She is also (obviously) guilty of TMI.
  • jammer

    Did anyone else notice that Josh Flagg from Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles was in the audience at Birdland? Just having him there made his episode suck significantly less!

  • dri-ter

    oh, and I still like Heather – she’s sporty and a good sport. She was dressed up to be a backup singer for LuAnn, aka the Cowtess.

  • dri-ter

    As for Aviva, I don’t care what she sticks in her mouth as long as it keeps her from talking.

  • dri-ter

    Heya Hepburn, love the recap. Agree about the style of LOL, except for Juliet and that nasty neon cockroach dress Caprice was sporting for some charity event. I know she wanted to ensure her pic was in the papers, but yuk. What will she do next time, drape herself in a rat stole -little rat teeth clamped to the next rat’s tail, etc, with little gems replacing the eyeballs? Maybe get a purse made out of the dead maggots. Now I am grossing myself out.

  • Hepburn

    Classy drunk- I agree that these ladies are the best dressed of all the cities. But if you count “Ladies of London” as a “housewives” show then I’d say that the “LOL”gals are the best dressed of ALL the Bravo shows (with the exception of that idiot/ shrew Juliet). Those ladies know how to rock the red carpet! And a giant THANKS to the nurses (and real asthma sufferers) for letting us know how asthma inhalers should be used. Maybe Aviva will start using the TRASHTALK comments to research how to properly use her meds for her next BS ailment. Hahah.

  • I wondered about the rinsing. My father had a whole slew of breathing meds and I remembered there was one that he had to rinse after. Aviva’s problem is the constant need for sympathy and attention. It started when she got her leg chopped off as a kid. It must have been hard to not drink in all the “Poor Aviva. What a horrible thing. You’re such a trooper,” when you’re a kid. So, now she makes shiz up to seek constant attention and sympathy. But, these ladies aren’t falling for it. I believe she does have Munchausen syndrome. Bitch needs help.

    Kristen’s husband is a tool. But, instead of constantly bitching at him why doesn’t she ask him to let her know when he may be late coming home. They need some respect both ways. Regardless, I don’t see them lasting too long as a couple. I hope that therapist they see tells him he’s a tool.

  • Elvismama

    Does it make me a bad person that I was glad it was clear Aviva doesn’t know that, if she doesn’t rinse her mouth out properly after taking Advair, she could get thrush? I hope she does; I’d love to hear her explanation for a yeastie in the piehole…ahem.

  • Scoobygurl

    @begonia skies, my son has asthma and I thought the exact same thing when I saw the Advair. WHF?

  • Squirrel

    When Heather was singing “I’ll do the cooking/’ll pay the rent…” – they pan to hubby Jon, and dude was all doing the friggin Hokey Pokey. Never seen him happier. Of course I’d be happy too if someone serenaded me with that. I just want it signed and notarized first. Save the ‘Effortless’ shit for your mistress (and yes, Hepburn, you know that was for her.)

    It’s scientifically mpossible to have a cognitive moment with the word ‘effortless’ paired with a visual of Ramona. I’m pretty sure that’s how one gets a stroke, annuerism, or at least a temporary stutter.

    Kristen T and Shannon from OC need to do lunch and go cry in their Cuervo somewhere. Start naming raindrops or something. Take your gourmet salty tears off my 13″ screen.

    Love that it took 5? 6? years for Countess to willingly give up her composure. She has fired back with some poignant responses in order to keep her book in print. But now she abandons all pretense of teaching by example. Can’t wait for the Second Edition of CWTC: “When all else fails, Darling….”Shut up you cow!” ~ Countess Luann De Leseppes

  • amandalee27

    Begonia skies–THANK YOU!! I wasn’t going to say it, but I’m a nurse too and I was screaming that’s a controller, not a reliever!

    Heather did look bad in that gold dress. Ugh. The thing I hate about Heather is she is good at everything, but she pretends she’s not. I mean get over yourself and just be honest.

    Kristen, I tried to like you but I can’t stand a harpy, nagging woman. Stand up for yourself. Cook dinner for you and your kids, eat on time, and throw the rest away. When the asshat comes home from work, smile serenely and welcome him like nothing happened. Asshats need to be the center of attention; once he stops getting yours, he’ll try harder.

  • The shots of Dubin with the wings MADE this episode! The man deserves some royalties.

    @begonia skies- I was pissed about Aviva’s Advair shot too! I use Advair and that shit is a controller, it would do diddly to stop an asthma attack once it’s in motion. I love how she thinks holding it to her mouth will make us all believers. Like a few episodes back when she took a puff of her emergency inhaler (Something albuterol or related) and said she couldn’t take it if she didn’t have asthma. Ummmmm, yes you can take it if you don’t have asthma. People with bronchitis and croup and all sorts of other lung problems take it. And quite frankly, healthy people can take a puff without doing damage. So telling me you couldn’t use it without asthma does NOT prove you have asthma.

    When are we going to see Aviva lose her leg?!?!?! COME ON ALREADY!

  • MisRed

    I loved when SonJa was being held hostage in her own home by the dreadful Aviva and SonJa said the girls had been talking about her and she said “Oh were they worried about me?” What a narcissistic twat!! Also loved the Dubin bjing the wings!!! Haha

  • stinkyhousewives

    Oh please Heather, no, no, no I don’t want to sing, wearing that gold sequined dress? Gimme that microphone! So sick of her phony BS.

  • begonia skies

    Maybe this only bothers me because I’m a nurse and I need to remember this is reality tv not real life but that inhaler Aviva used was Advair. You don’t just take Advair any old time, you take it every 12 hours. So, for most people, morning and night. Not in the middle of the afternoon in your friends sex garden when you have a flare up of “asthma.” If you’re gonna whip out your fake prescriptions at least use them correctly.

  • MK

    Great recap! I agree with you Classy Drunk, the NY girls dress great. (With the exception of Ramona with her Limited2 bedazzle shirts). I love the dress Sonja had on in the Grey garden.

  • BuddyChrist

    Great recap! You covered all the bases. I never forget Kristen is good friends with Brandi. I think that explains alot about how she acts and presents herself on this show. I’ve heard Ralph Fiennes is a bit of a slut so dating him doesn’t make you that special, Carole…

  • Classy Drunk

    Again. These girls were dressed great the entire episode. I guess when you watch OC then NY the next day it will have that affect on you. The ladies of the OC are terrible dressers.

    Anywho…Shush it Kristen with the whining. heather is just one of those people who’s good at a lot of things. Stop trying to compete with her and look for things you are good at.

  • e-milt714

    I was ROARING when the cam panned to harry devouring those chicken wings.. BRAVA BRAVO! Heather’s dress was so gorge BUT it was SO unflattering on her?! Made her look flat and bloated.. She has a good bod so IDK what was up w/ that! Kristin is so so so gorgeous but even she is starting to wear thin- me thinks she knew full well what she was getting into with her douchelord hub (she did).. Final thoughts.. Avery and ramona are nearly identical and MY GOD was it really necessary to show the foot fetish clips.. BARF!!!!!!!!!!!!!