MisRed is TRASH!!! She’s TRASH!!
MisRed is a BITCH!!!
Yes, I’m SELF-Rey’ing. No, no MisRed didn’t run away to Ibiza. She wasn’t with P-Diddy on Sonja’s Yacht in San Tropez. She wasn’t partying with John-John or Madonna. She wasn’t arrested in West Palm. She wasn’t juicing in Costa Rica. Alas, MisRed has been delayed in writing this recap and unfortunately, it was unavoidable and not even that interesting.
But here is it. MisRed, as you know, lives in Texass. However, MisRed hails from Connecticut, and MrRed and I have a house there that we rent out. We had tenants in there for the past 3 years, they just moved out and I was sent up to Connecticut to make sure that the house was in good condition, yada yada yada. Well… when MisRed arrived, things weren’t so ship-shape. The house was VERY dirty and MisRed’s plans for a smoky eye / up-do / Gstaad luxurious vacation week, turned into a week with MisRed playing the role of Rocio. We had installed new carpeting before we moved out and it looked like the son had been doing oil changes under his bed.
The kid was running a free-lance Jiffy Lube
It could have been a million times worse and things are okay, but it was just a total drag. It was a heatwave and no A/C or fans. And I would have finished up on Monday, but I was staying at my sister’s and it was literally too hot to have the laptop on my lap. Plus, my tyrannical niece was building a Lego thing and was asking for help every two seconds. In fairness, she’s 6.
I have more excuses that Ramona and Vicki put together.
So MisRed is late and she apologizes profusely. I am staying at my father’s house and he’s 88 and he has no concept of “thread count” so MisRed may need a trip to the Mayflower before too long. Because MisRed has been crazed, she couldn’t even watch/take notes in the normal manner- I watched the episode on a train and took notes OLD SCHOOL, like with a pen and paper. It’s like deciphering cave drawings.
Last week we had the Battle of Sonja’s Family Crest. Or more correctly, the MORGAN Family Crest.
This, of course, was after Bethenny said the Sonja’s slippers were AMAZING.
One deer goes one way, and the other goes the other
Did Bethenny lose her sight at some point on this trip? Perhaps it was when she was crawling up into Sonja’s butthole and got some “cleanse” in her eyes? It came out that Ramona called Tom D’ag to try to get herself invited to his NYE party- Ramones blamed it on a friend. There was tension with Bethenny and _________ (fill in the blank), this time it was with Dorinda. And Ramona posted a dinner photo on the old Insta and Lu flipped her wig.
We open with Ramona going to Yoga. Of course, she has to name-drop her gym and teacher. Bethenny is stretching her talons and haunches nearby and warns the yoga teacher that Ramona is a Scorpio. Uh, yeah, so are you Bethenny.
Carole tells Dorinda about Ramona’s Insta-FauxPas and how Lu’s publicist went ballistic. Dorinda asks if everyone is mad at her?
Oh just wait.
Uh… this isn’t about you Dorinda. Wait your turn. Trust me, it’s coming.
At Yoga Sonja has joined, unceremoniously, not telling the instructor about the Nigerian Football Team, the Toaster Oven or her being a vegan. Lu slithers into Yoga.
I’m late because I haven’t been drinking.
Sonja right in step with everyone else, as usual.
After class Lu tells Bethenny that Ramona the She Devil has struck again, and that she invaded Lu’s privacy by posting the photo- because nobody knew where Lu was. Yeah, she’s a regular Where’s Waldo. Bethenny says that any GOOD publicist would say- “we will give you something later but right now we have a trial coming up.” Yeah, the Menendez Bros publicist said the exact same thing. Then Bethenny offers Lu HER publicist.
Obviously your publicist sucks so I will help you out…even though you are a snake who f*cks everybody.
Bethenny interviews that Lu is doing her part (in staying sober…) so Bethenny will help her out. And will call Lu’s publicist a hack in the process.
Sonja says, “I think it’s instinctive to not post any pictures.” It’s a coherent thought.
You know what isn’t instinctive? Wearing caterpillar eyelashes to yoga, apparently.
Who are you and what have you done with Sonja? Of course Ramona is still defending it because “it was a beautiful picture.
I miss Adam…
Elsewhere, Carole, Tins and Dorinda manhandle some giant healing crystals and Dorinda brings up Sonja’s Family Crest. She says that Hannah’s Legacy doesn’t define Dorinda’s Legacy.
Oh, some people were wondering who, exactly, Dorinda’s husband Ralph is? Well he’s Ralph Lynch, he’s some hot-shot banker who lives in Greenwich, Connecticut and here’s a photo of him with the Dorinda 2.0 at a Diabetes Dinner.
She doesn’t look NEARLY as slurry as Dorinda!
Bahaha- omg! In the photos from this Diabetes dinner there are two older ladies and one of them has a full-on shiner!
These Connecticut Blue Bloods, they will go out in any condition for some free shrimp cocktail.
She must have gotten between Sonja and a “vegetable. “ Probably an eggplant.
Net/Net Dorinda doesn’t understand Sonja. Get in line, honey.
Tramp of The Taconic!
She is Sonja Tremont from upstate New York and Dorinda doesn’t understand why Sonja isn’t proud of her OWN achievements.
Uh… landing a Morgan? What has Sonja achieved, besides Frequent CustomerStatus at the STD Clinic? (ALLEDGEDLY)
Every time you fill up a punch card, you get a free treatment.
Ramona tries to defend herself about posting the picture with Lu- she says they ALWAYS post pics when together. Dorinda says- but there’s wine on the table… Ramones informs us that she ALWAYS drinks water out of wine glasses.
Ok, so perfect, Ramona, as soon as Insta-Taste-Gram is launched that will be super-useful.
In Sonja’s talking head she asks what planet Ramona is on- and that she is really just using all of them to get more likes.
Dorinda, Sonja and Ramona- the Blonde Brain Trust examine the photo. Ramona is like- ALL THE GLASSES ARE EMPTY!! Ok, that could be good or bad, depending how you look at it.
Over at the Lu and Bethenny Show- Dorinda joins them- while LU is ranting about the picture. Dorinda says that all of the glasses were empty.
And Carole ran the marathon and Bethenny didn’t thank me for the nutcracker… what’s your point?
Lu says she doesn’t need the publicity. Sure she does. Bethenny tells her to manhandle the crystals and let it go.
Lu leaves and Dorinda and Bethenny talk about the giant crystals and Bethenny wants them for her new apartment. Dorinda says she knows where to get these crystals. Of course she does.
Dorinda says that she thinks that there is some tension between them. Is there something wrong? Bethenny says she doesn’t feel totally safe with Dorinda. Dorinda says that she says the same thing about Bethenny. Frankly, MisRed doesn’t feel safe around any of these skanks. Dorinda thought they were fine. Bethenny says something about her energy and something going on- Dorinda wants to talk about it but Bethenny doesn’t. Bethenny thinks that because of the rift between herself and Carol that everyone is rallying around Carole, so Bethenny has to do her own thing.
Dorinda thinks the issue is that Bethenny doesn’t really engage with any of them or does so only when necessary. Bethenny says she’s “not trying to be destructive, she’s trying to be productive. Ok. Tony Robbins.
These chats take place during their various spa treatments:
Tinsley vs Carole Relaxing
Suddenly, Carole is Lu’s biggest fan. And we learn that Tinsley can’t relax during a massage. Riveting. Luann tells her facialist that she loves dominating short French Men… oh wait, wrong facial-ist- she tells her that she has stopped drinking. Ok, Lu is the LIQUID vegan- has to tell everyone.
I know. I watch TMZ.
Ramona tells Sonja that she plans to live to be 100 so that she can hang out with her not-yet-born grandkids. Oh good, 40 more years of Ramona. Gird your loins.
Tinsley tells Carole that Adam has been talking to Scott. Carole tells her that Adam emailed her, but she’s no interested in dating him right now- she wants to focus on her work. After their treatments, Lu and Bethenny talk. Bethenny says that she is taking “our sobriety” very seriously. Lu is like “Our sobriety?” Lu reveals that she plans to go to AA.
Ok, MisRed has a Bethenny theory- She needs allies.
- Carole puked up the Kool Aid.
- Bethenny can’t stand Tinsley and has no use for her.
- Ramona is about as useless to Bethenny as tits on a bull and Bethenny hates her.
- Bethenny HAS Sonja, but Sonja just goes along with anyone that’s nice to her, and can stomach Sonja’s bullshit for the season.
She needs either Dorinda or Lu and she’s picked Lu. A) there was the Nutcracker sitch B) Dorinda went after Sonja’s Family Crest Slippers C) Lu’s stock is on the rise since she was in the Big House.
Carole says she would LOVE to go to rehab!! The thought of 28 days of Doctors analyzing you and helping her emotionally sounds like heaven. MisRed will shrink Carole- Learn to order eggs and then we can move onto the bigger stuff.
Tinsley tells Carole that she went to try on wedding dresses. She tells her in case Dale told Carole. Apparently, Dale and Carole talk. Tinsley tries to downplay it but she’s such a spazz it comes off as weird and desperate. Carole thinks it’s odd, but she understands it.
Carole is morphing into Martina Navratilova.
Back with Lu and Bethenny- Lu says she was super hurt about Tom and the party he threw. And she is pissed at Ramona and thinks Ramona should be embarrassed- but nothing embarrasses Ramona. Bethenny thinks it’s weird that Ramona hangs out with Tom and has drinks with him.
Lu is like WHA-WHA-WHAT??!!?
Whooooooops. Did I just mention that? I totally didn’t mean to do that.
Bethenny reveals that she knows Ramona has had drinks with Tom at the Regency. I mean, 83.5% of New York has had drinks with Tom at the Regency.
LuAnn interviews “I know Ramona isn’t the brightest tool in the shed. What an idiot!”
They say it takes one to know one.
Bahahahahah. Speaking of idiots… last MisRed checked tools were sharp and not bright. Lu isn’t exactly the “brightest tool” either.
Oh god… another dinner at the Mayflower. The ladies arrive and there’s the usual jockeying for seats. Bethenny doesn’t want to sit next to Carole “Because there could be an incident tonight.” Ok, clearly Bethenny is plotting something. Sonja sits next to Carole and really thinks that Bethenny should just talk to Carole. Then says “That’s Bethenny, putting that wall up again.” Another coherent thought. Got it. The alien that had previously taken up residence in Ramona’s brain has moved over to Sonja.
Good Evening, I drew the short straw tonight, and I will be your waiter.
The ladies each order one half dozen oysters. You know Sonja will be naked and trying to 69 Luann by the end of the night. Lu orders a non-alcoholic beer to impress the judge.
And Tinsley didn’t sleep well because her braids were too tight. Amazing story arc- almost as good as Carole running the marathon.
Ramona goes off on some tangent about how she loved braiding Avery’s hair. So, they say they will go home and braid each other’s hair. Dorinda wants to know what they will do for her. Bethenny says they will braid her muff, but Dorinda says she took care of that because it was starting to look like Abraham Lincoln down there. John is like a goat… he couldn’t keep the meadow clear? Bethenny says it wasn’t Abe Lincoln, it was George Bush. And of course Bethenny just keeps repeating it. Dorinda doesn’t like Bethenny taking over her Presidential Muff comparison- and she’s sticking with Abe Lincoln.
Bethenny asks Tinsley if she’s getting engaged?
Tinsley is like- No. Bethenny says “Oh. I got my wedding dress at Amsale and they told me that you were in there trying on dresses.
Ok, so that Orange Gay has a direct hotline to Bethenny.
And PS how long ago was Bethenny’s wedding? She’s still in touch with Amsale? Uh MisRed got her dress at Kleinfeld, but I don’t stay in touch with Audrey who did my fitting.
Tinsley explains that it was just for fun, it wasn’t real and she was just trying to have a fun day with her mother, that’s all- “Besides, my actual wedding dress will be totally couture.” Tinsley starts flipping her hair around like a lunatic.
Check out Tinsley – sniper to Bethenny from the side. Beautiful.
Bethenny is like- Oh so it was just a fun day? I thought you were secretly engaged. Tinsley is like – if I was engaged EVERYONE WOULD KNOW.
Sonja says that she is superstitious, and she wouldn’t try on dresses unless he was engaged. No, but she will try on every penis on earth…but God forbid she set foot inside a David’s Bridal.
Tinsley argues that she would wear any of those low-rent, knocked-up-Bethenny-ass, dresses to just a regular party.
Lu, all Judge Judy, says “You’d wear a wedding dress to a party?” Tinsley says that she would.
And seriously, since when is Luann the authority on fashion? Didn’t Luann wear a wedding dress to a Reunion one year?
One year she wore this hot mess:
And honestly- the dress she wore to her arraignment looked like something Julie Andrews whipped up during a thunderstorm in Austria with the Nazis and singing Nuns breathing down her neck.
Bethenny interviews- full of snark, because, you know, that’s her only speed- “Oh yeah, I’ll wear a ball gown to tailgate. Or to a Flea Market. I walk my dog in a wedding dress. Uh yeah, like Bethenny walks her dogs. And SHUT UP, Bethenny, Jesus. Yes, it’s not something MisRed would do, but Tinsley isn’t hurting anyone (except maybe herself and her relationship) by trying on wedding dresses prematurely.
Bethenny tells Tins- that trying on wedding dresses when you aren’t getting married is akin to trying out coffins.
Yeah, well, my mom and I are doing that NEXT week!
Of course, everyone laughs because they dare not laugh at Bethenny the stand-up comic. But Tinsley says – “That’s not the way I look at marriage, Bethenny. You had a bad experience.”
Good for Tinsley standing up to Broom Hilda.
Carole LOVES that Tinsley and Bethenny are fighting.
Bethenny tells Tinsley she is jumping the gun, and yes, maybe she is. Then Tinsley starts flipping her hair wildly saying that Bethenny is turning a fun day with Dale – is there such a thing- into something negative and she doesn’t think that Bethenny is coming from a good place. Tinsley says she is just trying to show how funny she is and to make Tinsley the butt of her jokes.
Tinsley is right- Bethenny is coming from a place of jealous and jadedness. Bethenny doesn’t have a mother who is in her life and anyone who gets close to Bethenny eventually gets pushed away.
Bethenny claims she wasn’t comparing marriage to death but that you don’t pick out a coffin until it’s time to use it… which isn’t true… and you don’t pick out a wedding dress until you are getting married. Tinsley says it was an odd comparison or an odd thing to say and Bethenny asks why it was odd- she heard that Tinsley was trying on dresses, so she asked if she was getting married- why is that odd?
Carole interviews that- btw- when Bethenny had been dating Dennis for two weeks she dragged Carole to Harry Winston to try on rings- Carole thinks that Bethenny should just let Tinsley have her moment with Dale.
Oh speaking of Tinsley marriages- did you see her ex, Topper, got married in the 1870’s last week?
Dorinda defends Tinsley but says that SHE wouldn’t do it. Bethenny says that yeah, Dorinda also wouldn’t wear a crest. Oh boy.
Dorinda says that she would wear a crest but “I wouldn’t run around talking about a providence that wasn’t true.”
In Sonja’s talking head she says that she doesn’t understand why Dorinda is always projecting HER life onto Sonja’s life because, in Sonja’s opinion, they are totally different lives.
Well yes. Dorinda is a mess who has money. And Sonja is a mess who doesn’t have money. Totally different!!
Dorinda says that when she talks about her ancestral home, she’s not referring to some place in Scotland (that of her first husband, Hannah’s dad).
And the Razzie Award for Worst Actress goes to….
Well, the alien has left the building because Sonja FLIPS OUT. She is SCREAMING in the middle of the restaurant “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! THAT’S MY FAMILY!!! ARE YOU GOING THERE?!!!” She is dropping F-bombs left, right and center- I’m actually embarrassed. “WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT MY FAMILY???!!!!”
We are in Connecticut… please calm down.
Sonja interviews that Dorinda is a bully and it’s like when the girls in High School used to beat up Sonja- it’s because they were jealous.
You ever notice that parents always tell their kids that other kids are mean or whatever because they are jealous? It couldn’t possibly be that the beat-ee is just an asshole, right?
And you know Sonja was probably giving all of their boyfriends handies under the bleachers.
Bethenny gets involved about how Sonja is raising the Morgan heir. Dorinda argues that, yes, the kid is the Morgan heir, but that Sonja is a Tremont from Upstate New York. Is Bethenny raising the Hoppy heir? Does Bethenny consider Jason’s family to be HER family? 100% no.
They really are acting like the RHONJ with all of their “family” talk.
Luann says that even in jail, they weren’t this ill-behaved. MisRed LOVES how Lu acts like some kind of hardened criminal.
Lu’s Prison Tatts
Lu was in a holding cell for a few hours. She wasn’t even IN jail, much less prison.
Bethenny wonders why Dorinda even cares. And Lu wonders what skin it is off Dorinda’s back if Sonja wants to use the Morgan family crest. Well yeah. Because Luann still refers to herself as De lesseps, right? She ran right back to that after Tommy D’ag headed for zee hills. The Clinging Countess.
Carole says, “It seems a little pretentious.” Sonja says that it’s HER family crest and the Morgan’s ARE HER family.
Can we get a fact check on this? Does anyone in the Morgan family have any dealings with Sonja?
Finally, Dorinda is like- you know what? This is not worth talking about. Dorinda disappears momentarily…Bethenny, of course, takes credit for Sonja’s sudden and questionably placed strength and will to fight. Then Sonja says that she should just be like Ramona and fake- apologize right left and center. Well, yeah, I mean, everyone is such a huge Ramona fan.
Dorinda, perhaps a little buzzed, returns to the table and offers Sonja an apology. It may or may not be sincere and it’s probably more to keep the peace of the trip. So, it’s about as sincere as it gets- with a little slurring mixed in, of course. But she says that she doesn’t want to fight with Sonja and she won’t bring it up again, and she wants to be on good terms with Sonja because she is REALLY proud of her- she’s been quite present of late, she’s renting her townhouse, she’s a faux-vegan, she didn’t hop on top of any of the ex-cons at Con Body… Dorinda would, however, like for Sonja to be proud of the things SONJA has achieved.
Yes, you, um, uh, got out of bed this morning.
The things that aren’t tied to the Morgan name.
Like, uh, what? What has she achieved that isn’t, somehow, tied to the Morgan name? Give MisRed ONE thing. ONE.
Bethenny pounces asking Dorinda what she is going and why is she acting like a therapist? And Dorinda acts like she’s the authority on everything. Dorinda says that she’s actually, just apologizing. But she’s THINKING- you might want to TRY it sometime BETHENNY. Bethenny mocks Dorinda “Ohhhh I’m soooo proud of you…. Why don’t you pet her too?!?!?!”
Dorinda is like- Ok, I will pet her.
Good girl. Good girl. Go pee pee on the pad and you get a treat.
These women behave like 6-year olds.
Bethenny is just stunned that Dorinda would be telling Sonja that she’s proud of Sonja when she spends a good bit of time, slurring and insulting Sonja.
“I guess you are the only one who can apologize.” Dorinda says. “Oh no, you don’t.” Lu says that No, Bethenny is the only one who knows it all. Dorinda just wants Bethenny to stay out of her fights just as Bethenny wants everyone else to stay out of her fights.
Everyone is like… poor Luann, she just has been through this trauma and she’s back in the middle of this fight. Ramona is like “Did you miss us?”
Lu is like- well NO, now that you posted that picture and I’ve been dealing with publicity crap all day!! Ramona gets on the defense train- saying “Well I thought it was nice. It was a beautiful picture and you didn’t tell me not to post. I didn’t get the f*cking memo, okaaaaaay? I’m sorry.”
Don’t you love a good 90’s office reference. And you KNOW Ramona is checking that wire box on her desk marked “IN.” Then yelling at Mrs. Wiggins wanting to know where all of her important memos are.
Lu is like- and you didn’t get the memo that you should call Tom and go to his party for New Year’s Eve??
Ramona says that they aren’t even going to talk about that right now- let’s address one thing at a time. Bahahaha. There is a list of grievances against Ramona and it’s 17 miles long. Lu says that these are hurtful things and Ramones says that her intention was NOT to hurt Lu and she’s sorry. Sooooorrrrrrrry.
Lu is like- now, because of YOU, I’m the talk of the town again. You know, and not just for winning the Street Meeting Gobbling Contest 5 years running or to be the last one in the group to bone Tommy D’ag.
Bethenny jumps in to defend Lu, her new BFF until, you know, she isn’t- saying you posting that picture brings everything up again. Lu was DORMANT and now with that pic it brings up the mug shot, and the story and Tinsley’s mug shot, it’s all over again.
Ramona fakes an epiphany! And is like- OHHHHHHHHH! Oh sh*t!!!! That’s f*cked up!!!! I’m SO SORRRRRY!!! What can I do??
Lu is like- stop it, wipe the smirk off your face. Ramona denies the smirk. Lu tells her that she needs to be more thoughtful and respectful of her friends.
Sonja says that they all need to be helping Lu to quietly transition BACK so she will be able to see her kids. They act like Lu has spent 27 years in prison and was just exonerated by some Innocence Project. Lu Ferguson.
Ramona admit her wrong-doing- “even though it was a beautiful picture” and pretends to feel terrible and says that she is disappointed in herself and then she turns on the dry-waterworks.
Sonja interviews that “here we go with the Ramona crocodile tears.” Eh, I’ve seen crocodiles cry more sincerely than old Ramones.
Ramona says that she admits she made a HUGE mistake and Lu says that Ramona is always doing stuff like that- and why does Lu need it in her life? And why is Ramona off having drinks with Tom at The Regency- it’s not COOL??!!
In Ramona’s talking head she says that just because Lu divorced Tom, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to disappear, and that he travels in the same circles as she does… she “can’t kill him.”
But imagine if Tom, somehow- God forbid- was killed- and Ramona got arrested. A) Imagine Ramona’s mug shot. B) Imagine Ramona on the witness stand. C) Imagine Ramona in jail.
Ok those mental images will get MisRed through the summer.
Ramona says that she didn’t think about the ramifications of the photo- but that the whole “Tom thing” doesn’t matter. Lu says that the “Tom thing” is the lowest of the low. Bethenny is like – yeah, it’s bad, it’s REALLY BAD. Bethenny, stay out of it.
Ramona says that she might be socially inept. Babhahahhaha. Yeah, and in other news water is wet. “I’m good at business. I’m sorrrrrry.” Tinsley is like- you can’t just act like it’s not a big deal. Ramona starts yelling at Tinsley. Tinsley says that SHE never would have gone for drinks with Tom. Ramona is like- what are you talking about? Tinsley says that Ramona went for drinks with Tom at The Regency. Ramones is like… No, I went for drinks with HARRY- but that Tom was “right there.”
Harry Dubin, the community bike. Everyone has had a ride.
Lu says “Oh Harry. There’s another winner.”
Lu says that this is Ramona’s big excuse- drinks with Harry. “Whether it’s Tom, Dick or Harry, they all live in the same penthouse, darling.” Yeah Luann, you would know, you boned both of them, so, yeah. So did Sonja. Ramona may have too, who know?
They argue about whether or not Harry is a loser. Well, he married Aviva, boned Sonja, and Luann and possibly Ramona. Does that make him the loser or THEM the losers?
Lu feels betrayed and Sonja says that Harry said VERY bad things about Lu. Not sure what that is all about or what was said. But Ramona says that if she wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone who Luann had been with- she would be able to talk to anyone in New York.
The waiter comes over and asks if they want any dessert- Dorinda says “Yes, we’d like some therapy.”
With 7 spoons
The ladies head back to their house and there’s MORE food there- a charcuterie tray- or so it would appear and some kind of dessert tray.
And there is some banana bread. Well you would have thought that Ramona and Sonja had been held captive in the Hanoi Hilton for 12 years and had been denied banana bread as punishment.
Does this bread have meth in it?
Ramona is like a pogo-stick boinging all over the place and Sonja lies on the love seat and spreads her legs like the turnstiles at Fleet Week just unlocked. If she didn’t have jeans on, she would have rolled up a slice and porked it. You would have thought that Harry Dubin put his banana in this bread. These two are ridiculous. Ohmygod. Ohmygod. OH. MY. GOD. As Ramona shoves the bread into her mouth, she is oohing and ahhing like a high-priced hooker at the Bunny Ranch.
Sonja says to Ramona “You seem REALLY upset about what went down between you and Luann. Sonja interviews “This woman was just in tears and now she’s raving over banana bread. What a lunatic.”
A lunatic indeed. Kind of like a vegan slathering butter on a piece of banana bread that contains eggs and butter.
Carole goes to Lu’s room to check on her- and Lu is still so mad a Ramona. Carol interviews that she doesn’t think Ramona posting the picture was malicious but that she really shouldn’t be running around having drinks with Harry & Tom- but it’s mostly because neither of them is particularly interesting so why bother.
Elsewhere, Ramona says that when she is being attacked, whether it’s warranted or not she just attacks back. Bethenny says that it’s not a reaction that’s honest to herself. Since when does honestly come into ANY of this??? Ramona says it’s all a trigger from her childhood when her father used to verbally abuse Ramones and her mother. Well yes, and let’s not leave out the emotional abuse of Geraldine Parson Smith. Net/Net the reason Ramona is a dick is because of her childhood.
Carole says she feels Lu is different any more self-aware, and Carole wants to be there for Lu and is proud of her. Ok, now the alien is in Carole.
Seriously, who brought the hallucinogenic drugs on this trip?? Sonja is semi-lucid and clothed. Carole is trying to get along with Luann. Bethenny hasn’t called Luann a dirty whore or a snake even once.
The next morning, Lu, stumbling in from some overnight street meat fest, knocks on Bethenny and Sonja’s door and goes in and lies between them. She wants them to join her for yoga. The three of them briefly discuss the crest situation and Luann says she really doesn’t care who wears a crest, which you know if just setting her up to start calling herself The Countess again.
Lu thinks Dorinda will be mad at her for not defending Dorinda that previous night, but Lu doesn’t know why Dorinda is picking on Sonja. Uh, Dorinda has been mad at Sonja all season.
Listen, it’s hard to see someone that you care about suffering from delusions. It’s very difficult to stand by and do nothing. Sonja hasn’t changed, she just has semi-sane or semi-more-sane-than-her people around her. It makes Sonja seem LESS crazy.
Bethenny says that Dorinda thinks she can skate out from under this whole thing with Sonja, but she is sanctimonious and intolerable.
Anybody got a mirror?
Bethenny says Dorinda thinks she is Buddha.
Yeah, well, and Bethenny thinks she’s white Oprah, Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins and Joy Behar, all rolled into one, with a sprinkle of Mother Teresa on top
Dorinda goes to Carole’s room and says that Lu didn’t stick up for her the night before. Dorinda is sure it’s because of the whole Countess thing and that Lu will go running back to using that. Carole says that Luann is probably just sensitive because she didn’t want to seem hypocritical, but that dinner was CRAY-ZAY. Carole advises Dorinda to just drop it.
After Lu leaves for yoga, Sonja says that she feels like she was just born. Bethenny congratulates her on going into battle with Dorinda and not acting like her usually idiotic self. She says that Sonja is a little fighter.
Any excuse for Sonja to be nearly naked on-camera.
Yeah wait until Bethenny bites off one of her ears. Bethenny says that Dorinda won’t come after Sonja again because Dorinda has been checked. Oh ok, whatever, you two.
Ramona comes downstairs to talk to Tinsley, who is shaken by the events of the previous evening- the wedding dress, Dorinda and Sonja fighting, etc. Ramona says she is also embarrassed by HER actions and she should have been more sensitive to Luann and her situation.
Is MisRed the only one who doesn’t feel sorry for Luann?
We get a packing montage. Ramona’s suitcase is bigger than she is.
Ramones smuggled Tom D’ag in for the weekend.
Dorinda asks Ramona if she talked to Luann yet and Ramones says she texted her the night before.
Ramona goes and knocks on Lu’s door and Lu is like- I just got back from Yoga, I really don’t’ want to deal with you right now.
Code for: Get the f*ck out.
But Ramona just PLOWS through and finally Luann is like- I really don’t want to talk now- let’s talk another time.
Ramona goes back out to the girls and she says “I can read her. She’s not in the mood.”
Ramona Singer: The Mayflower Medium
Uh? Because she said, “GO AWAY, I’M NOT IN THE MOOD.” Oh Ramona. Jesus. Helen Keller read signals better then Ramona.
Ramona says she feels remorseful but understands why Lu isn’t’ receptive to her and hopes they can talk another day. Dorinda says that after Lu’s court date she will be in a better place and that place is probably going to be on the barstool right next to Dorinda throwing back the Fireball shots.
She says she’s just kidding. Yikes…
The all leave.
Lu and Sonja make out. And Lu says she is ready to get back to her life in NYC.
Still to come this season…
Bethenny reads Sonja her biography and it’s ridiculous. The girls go speed dating and Ramona tries to horn in on Bethenny’s speed date.
This guy is looking for a Housewives Hoagie
Lu readies herself for her cabaret act with Sonja’s advice. Yes, just do the exact opposite, Lu. Lu “performs,” and Sonja takes her dress off-
THE LEGACY, ladies and gentlemen.
The girls go to Columbia and almost die.
Dorinda and Lu fight and
Does Bethenny have bell’s palsy?
Bethenny and Carole fight some more.
Death Boat 2018
Oy Vey! So what do you think of the alliances forming? Not sure which side I would pick- both have their weak links. Dorinda is getting the sh*t edit this year- although… that’s probably just how Dorinda really is. Don’t get MisRed wrong, I loves me some Dorinda, but she really goes right below the belt in every confrontation. It’s sad. She can do better. She needs to go hang out with those black-eyed bitties in Connecticut for awhile, maybe rent my house. Could you imagine the carpet after Dorinda and John stayed there for a few days? Eeesh. I’d love to hear your thoughts. And MisRed apologizes again for the delay in recapping. It was unavoidable. xoxoxoxo Love you guys!!!
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