Hi, Trashies! Welcome to another episode of The
Most Boring Bachelorette Ever. I completely understand why the producers chose Becca. It’s great storyline. Also, they kind of owed her because of the whole blindsiding her with a filmed breakup thing. However, she just doesn’t have the natural charm and charisma to pull off the role. I’m sure Becca is a really great person and probably a lot of fun in real life, but she just doesn’t have that “it factor” that a lead on this show needs. Nothing about her makes me want to watch. I think back to the other season’s I’ve watched. Leads like Andi, Kaitlyn, and Rachel all had personalities that really translated well to TV. Hell, even Jojo (who I consider another “consolation lead”) was super charming and fun to watch. Yeah, her season sucked, but I attribute most of that to her joke of a cast.
So, yeah, that was my little rant on this season. Let’s get right into another episode of man tantrums. We open in…Virginia. I’m not sure why they’re even here. It’s not anything super special. I say this as someone who spent seven years living in Virginia. It’s, but it’s not really a place one would go for a show like this.
“Richmond, VA is the perfect place to fall in love, I guess.”
We cut to the guys who are trying really hard to be excited about this location when the first date card arrives for Jason. Chris decides to make the situation about himself when he says that he’s hoping to get either a one-on-one or a two-on-one date this week. Shut up, Chris. No one cares. Ugh, then he starts arguing with Lincoln while they’re sitting super close to one another on the small loveseat.
Blake is all of us.
Let’s go to the date. Honestly, I like Jason a lot right now simply because he’s not Chris or Lincoln. This is just a “let’s wander around town” date. Becca and Jason even go to the Poe Museum. Years ago, a good friend and I went there for Poe’s birthday celebration. While we were there, we saw dueling Poes perform “The Raven.” We called it our “Prose Before Hoes Weekend.” Not sure why we didn’t go with “Poes Before Hoes,” but what can you do? I’m pretty proud of our pun.
“Unhappy Hour” sums up this date perfectly.
Oh, why do we have to go back to the Chris drama? Can we just kick him out now? The guys are just talking about him. Just ignore the dude. That’s why I’m trying my best to do.
OK, back on the date, we find out exactly what the surprise is that Becca promised to Jason. His friends are here! All they do is talk and drink some beer.
This is the happiest we’ve ever seen Jason.
The nighttime portion of the date is just heartbreaking. I can’t even snark on this. Jason’s grandmother has Alzheimer’s disease. My grandfather was diagnosed with it when he was only 57-years-old. I wouldn’t wish something like this on my worst enemy. If he doesn’t win this thing, I’m thinking Jason for Bachelor!
Let’s go back to where all the drama is for the group date card. It’s for Colton, Garrett, Wills, Connor, Blake, Lincoln, and Chris. That means Leo is getting a one-on-one date, but we still have to focus on Chris. He says that this date will let him get some redemption and he has “a few tricks up his sleeve.” That is not something you should say when it comes to a relationship you’re trying to fix. Chris is a manipulative ass hole.
Bake on the date, Jason gets a rose and then they stand on a balcony and make out.
At least it’s not a concert by a nobody.
The group date is called the Beccalection. Yeah, the guys are going to debate to prove why they’re the best for Becca. I say this as a former debater – debaters are kind of the worst. This is a terrible date. Also, there are presidential impersonators here. All I can think of is the episode of The Office where they through Phyllis a wedding shower and hired a Ben Franklin impersonator for her.
So, yeah. the debate is a big old nothing for a while. The governor of Virginia is here for some reason. I wonder what kind of dirt ABC has on him to make him actually take part in this. Anyway, the guys just talk about why they’d be good for Becca. Then Chris has to ruin everything by being Chris. In all fairness, Lincoln kind of started it by poking the bear. Chris should have just rolled his eyes and let it go. It would have made Lincoln look like a jackass. Instead, Chris threw his usual tantrum and made himself look way worse than Lincoln. I feel bad for Becca in this situation. This has got to be super embarrassing.
This is Becca just praying for the earth to open up and swallow her whole.
The nighttime portion of the date is no less terrible. Becca pulls Lincoln aside first to talk about the day’s events. He tries to make everything Chris’ fault. I think we shouldn’t forget that Lincoln was the instigator in the whole thing. He called Chris out first. Both of them were 100% wrong, but it absolutely was Lincoln that started it at the debate.
And with that, Chris interrupts. He tries to make this just a normal conversation, but Becca isn’t about that. She tells him that the other guys aren’t comfortable around him. He keeps cutting Becca off and tries to gaslight her. I’m glad that she doesn’t fall for it. Unfortunately for Garrett, this confrontation happens right before his time with Becca and she just wants a few minute alone. Now, I’m not a Garrett fan, but it’s really nice to see Becca ask a guy to leave and he does.
Chris is still being a dick to the other guys. I can’t focus on all of it because…
Connor needs to wear his glasses always. Damn!
Are you surprised that Lincoln and Chris are still bickering. Then Garrett tells them that Becca doesn’t want to talk to anyone tonight because these two ass holes have ruined the entire night. So, let’s leave that so Leo can get a date card. I’m kind of shocked that Leo gets a one-on-one date. I kind of forgot that he was here.
Oh, hey, the other guys are still fighting. I’m so over this. Garrett finally gets some time with Becca where he reads the closing statement he had prepared for the debate. Then there’s a montage of some other guys talking to Becca before Colton gets the rose for some reason. Once again, we’re making this about Chris and how he wants to find a way to “win.” Yeah, he definitely needs to go home soon.
The Leo date is kind of weird to watch. We all know that Becca isn’t actually into this guy. Becca even says that she’s not full on this date.
This photo perfectly sums up their relationship.
To his credit, Leo seems very understanding. He tells her not to feel pressured to be all smiles and rainbows on the date. They can just hang out and do nothing if she wants. Anyway, they go harvest and shuck oysters. That actually sounds kind of fun. I actually mean that. I love oysters. The nighttime portion of the date is nothing special. They just talk about their families (is Leo saying that he’s upset that his dad spent time with him?) and then Leo gets a rose before they go to a concert performed by a country singer we’ve never heard of. I have little doubt that he’ll be gone next week. The only reason he got a rose is likely because Becca already knows that Chris is leaving.
When Becca returns from the date, Chris pays her a surprise visit. You can tell she’s super uncomfortable about the whole thing.
Becca even removes a pillow so she can sit further away from Chris.
We’ve all see this coming for weeks. Becca finally tells Chris that she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings and asks him to leave. Of course, he’s super pissed by it. Chris is the epitome of a “nice guy.” He talks about how amazing he is as a partner, but, in reality, he’s a manipulative ass hole who can’t understand why someone wouldn’t be into him. He’s so condescending too. He all but laughs at Becca when she disagrees with his assessment of the situation. His behavior when he leaves just proves that Becca made the right decision. I’m so glad he’s gone.
So, this is the obligatory “skip the cocktail party” week, so let’s get right to the rose ceremony. Colton, Leo, and Jason have roses. The rest of the men staying are:
Yay! Lincoln is gone! I’m kind of sad Connor is gone. I wanted to see more of him and those sexy glasses. Fortunately, I think he’s scheduled to be on Paradise.
So, that’s it for this week, Trashies! Hopefully that’s the end of all the petty drama now that Chris and Lincoln are gone! See you next week.
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us on Facebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get find the occasional gif on Tumblr!