Hello Trash Talkers! I hope you are all feeling the love because I am! Love your comments, so keep them coming. I appreciate them because Trash Talkers are the best in the reality TV galaxy. Plus I like to share the fun I am having with this show. I must say this show has been a little trashy, a little classy but always with a twist. Courtesy of Vikki and Bravo.
Vikki sporting new, very glam extensions and lashes
I am not surprised Andy Cohen is not involved. His bank account was built on mountains of female trashcapades. So as adorable as I think he is, I’m glad he kept his meddling little manicured hands off this one. That said, let’s take a look at last week’s heart-break.
After my boo hoo fest a couple of weeks ago, I was a bit worried about how this one would affect my mood swings. Thankfully, the uncoupling wife in our last episode was a bit of a dreary bitch. It made it easier for me to choose sides.
At first I worried about restocking my tissues when I found out Emily and Dave had been married 26 years. She was a worn out elderly Asian, he a weary white man low on cash. I was ready to put on some sad, hopeless old love songs.
Until the mediation revealed a few things about why they were there.
Why? Well it seems like Dave’s not so attractive wife spent his money like a former child star on a coke binge. She thought that since he had always been making a lot of money, the cash would always be coming in. She had no vision of his career ever ending. He was making a lot of money now. Unfortunately, like what’s her name from that canceled Disney show, she couldn’t face the money wasn’t there and soon would be GONE.
Emily is unapologetically ugly. This picture is shamelessly small.
He had tried to get her to get counseling years ago. She did nothing but keep spending. They fought over ugly expensive China and other expensive, shiny things. He went after her jewelry collection of course. Vikki tried to get them to give their marriage another 3 months. Dave said hell no, because he didn’t want to eat Ramen for the rest of his life.
You paid how much to look like this Emily?
One more minute with Emily on his account and it would have been quite possible. He agreed to 30 days, she split the goods and Dave, who preferred to sleep in a nice Hawaiian home and not a hut, decided to hit the road. After watching Emily who seemed quite a bit selfish and lots of clueless, I was relieved when he decided to divorce after the 30 day trial. I hate to see long-term marriages end, but I also hate it when people have been together that long and one person doesn’t put zip effort into saving their marriage. That was Emily. So buh bye Emily! Enjoy shopping out of the neighborhood garbage cans. You deserve it.
This episode, we have an entirely different couple. Tina and Krissy. Tina is manly woman and Krissy is staying true to the traditional womanish look.
They meet with Vikki to unload all of their problems and have her wish them away. They have some good stuff they want to yell at each other about. They are:
Drum roll please…..
A T-shirt collection. I cannot tell you the value yet. Make a wild guess. Do not judge.
This Millea brother secretly wants the Ghostbusters T-shirt
A 2006 Mustang GT
A kick ass Orange County house
Custody of their two gorgeous furry babies also known as dogs
Tina is a mannish looking woman who seems to have power of Krissy, even when Krissy needs to be using whatever ammunition she needs to get what she wants. Seems like she is a bit of a wuss and still trying to please Tina. Or is she?
She might have her own sneaky strategy against Tacky Tina. I hope so.
Find out in a couple of day’s when I post the full recap. Until then…let’s the snarking begin!
Like what you read? Floshizzle also recaps “L.A. Hair” and “Dance Moms”
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us onFacebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, follow our TV parody boards on Pinterest, and get our daily microblogs on Tumblr!
Do you love reading the comments on these recaps as much as we do? Go over to our Commentgasm page to nominate for your favorite comment of the week!