Hello Trashtalkers! Happy 4th of July! This week Catfish helped a military man on a mission to find true love. It is kinda Independence-y. And Max finally threatened to call HR on Nev! Not a lot happened this week – the guys have to split up to retrieve a catfish but everyone is super nice and they keep reminding us of how nice everyone is constantly.
First the guys pat themselves on the back about the new definition added under catfish to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Then they read an email from Jeff. Jeff has been in the Navy for the past 7 years and has been talking to Megan, a 25 year old registered nurse, for about a year now online. Jeff is ready to put his enlistment on hold to be closer to Megan in Texas and her dogs. Obviously they have never met or video chatted, and she stood him up when he went to visit her in Texas because..family issues??!
Jeff works on electronics on larger aircraft. Jeff and Megan both have Siberian Huskies, and she pretty much looks like a typical Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. But he loves her for her caring personality and because she is sooo nice, not her looks. He has her address and she has received gifts from him. So that is something. Max says the good news is that she sounds nice because this girl in the pictures is obviously not talking with Jeff.
Anchors away!! Hipster electronica montage on the way to Jacksonville, FL to meet Jeff!! When they sit down in Jeff’s place, Max and Nev seem really into how Jeff meets girls in his life. He is shy and his whole life turned around after meeting Megan because she is SO NICE.. Jeff admits that he sent her dick pics but she didn’t send any nudies back. Doesn’t she know THE CODE? He says that she’s smarter than he is (obviously). Even if she isn’t who she says she is, Jeff says he would still give her a chance because SHE IS SO NICE. He seems pretty realistic about this catfish thing, but he says he can’t travel to meet her cause the military.
Back at the hotel Max and Nev sit down to investigate “Megan”. Nev tries to be funny by cuddling up to Max but he isn’t having it at all. Dude, I am pretty sure Max gets way hotter guys than you. It’s neither cute nor funny Nev!! It takes them like 5 seconds to determine this girls real name is Brandy, not Megan. But she probably does really love dogs. After debriefing Jeff, Nev goes outside to call Brandy in the rain (?) and she does NOT seem interested in meeting up with Jeff and the Catfish Crew and even hangs up on Nev.
Back inside Jeff’s place, Nev and Max concoct a plan to split up and send Max to Texas and “convince” Brandy to come back with him to Florida to meet up with Nev and Jeff. Max seems nervous and Nev says that failure is not an option! It sounds like they’re planning to kidnap this girl that just said she DIDN’T want to meet up with them. Now they’re saying they are going to treat this as a military mission. This is definitely a kidnapping!! This dude Jeff totally accepted that Megan/Brandy has been lying to him and doesn’t seem to care at all. I am starting to side with the catfish here, maybe they don’t want to meet up with you weirdos. Jeff, you are the one on INTERnational television telling people that you sent her dick picks and showing us all these sappy text messages between you two- not her! Maybe she is happy living with her dogs in Texas and being nice to you over the phone. She didn’t steal any money or pretend anyone died.
Max experiences separation anxiety and calls himself Nev’s co-host. Eek I think you are a sidekick Max, not a co-host. Co-hosts don’t usually have to carry production equipment around with them the entire show. Back in Florida Nev’s phone rings and he says Megan is calling him. Nev, we know her name is Brandy! She isn’t on board with this plan meet up at all as we watch Max close in on her in Texas. Nev convinces her to call Max and Max totally creeps her out. I think the first thing he said to her was “I am just hanging out around the perimeter of the housing complex you live in” UMM NOT OK Max. He also needs talk to HR. Brandy agrees to meet with up Max and he ditches his “hand held”. Maybe he is becoming a co-host!
Brandy immediately tells Max that “mostly everything was true except the for like, my job, my pictures and my name”. Ok so nothing?! But I bet that Jeff will still like her so she doesn’t have to worry about all those lies. Hell- I bet she doesn’t even have to get him drunk… She says loves Jeff and he is the nicest, most dependable person in the world blah blah and starts to cry. Max really hammers it home that nicest person she knows may end up hating her when he finds out the truth, but asks her if she wants to get on a plane and go to Florida with him. She terrified, as she should be, but agrees to go with Max to Florida. Who’s going to watch her dogs?? Max calls Nev with the good news but NO DETAILS and they head back to Jacksonville.
Brandy slaps on a dress and some make up to meet Jeff. When they get to his apartment complex, it is raining outside so someone gives her a jacket to wear and it is not flattering at all. They all stand around in the rain outside to heighten the awkwardness. They really should have gone inside to Jeff’s place, this is weird and I have a feeling Brandy is going to make it really awkward all by herself. When Jeff comes outside she comes clean about all the lies, but tomorrow is really her birthday! And she works at a dispatch center, lives with her mom and has two dogs.
No cats? Are you sure?
And she’s really sorry. I can’t tell if she spent a lot of time thinking about what she was going to say to Jeff or if she just can’t stop talking. Jeff finally pipes in that he’ll probably be OK with this and wants to talk tomorrow. After standing in the Florida rain for half hour and crying, I think Brandy looks like she could be a military wife.
The next day production, Max and Nev surprise Brandy with a birthday cupcake at her hotel room door. That is probably the biggest birthday party that Brandy has ever had in her life. She has her boobies out to go talk Jeff which is probably a good move. You’re may need those “to make things right”. Jeff tells her that she is incredibly attractive and they could become something more in the future. Score! But then Brandy is just like I have to get back to my dogs, hugs Jeff and leaves his apartment. It was kinda abrupt. Outside the apartment complex (again) everyone takes a selfie.
One month later… They still talk everyday but Jeff reenlisted in the Navy and he is heading overseas. Now who is going to watch his dog? I bet they stay in touch. What did you guys think? How come we never got to meet Brandy’s dogs, huh? I think there should be more dogs on Catfish. I got kinda bored with this episode after Brandy agreed to go with Max instead of making him kidnap her.
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