Hello Trashies! The cast of Jersey Shore currently filming their second season and they are having quite a bit of drama. After Jen and Ronnie got into it over the death of their dog and daughter’s whereabout that resulted in another physical altercation. Allegedly, the rest of the cast wanted to stage an intervention for him as he is clearly spiraling. Instead filming in Vegas has halted and they are back filming in Jersey. I am not sure if I truly believe those reports because from what I understood the plan was always to film half the season in Jersey. Also, he showed up at the MTV Video Awards with the other guys so unless he is going to they same “rehab” The Countess went to.
At the house in Miami, Ma G is cooking up a storm while Vinny’s sucio Uncle Nino spends quality time with his favorite girl, RealDoll Sammi in the backyard.
Where he is excited to find out she doesn’t have any teeth, um……
The gang is thrilled and excited to see Ma G knowing they will not have to be cooking or sending out for dinner that night. Jenni spots Uncle Nino in the back, which prompts Vinny to ask his mom why she brought him.
Vinny lets his real feelings about his uncle shine through
Literally everything about him offends Vinny, I bet he even eats carbs! After a confessional session in where Uncle Nino says that Vinny reminds him of Jesus and he asks for forgiveness of his sins it’s time to eat. Vinny is excited to eat but even more excited for Mike because it is a spread.
I so want Ma G’s fettucine recipe… is that meat in there?
Vinny gives a speech that overuses the word happy, but they are all grateful to have a proper Sunday dinner.
Uncle Nino complains about his food stained robe and Jenni asks if Uncle Nino is Ronnie’s future self. Vinny says that after a few tequila shots Ronnie and Uncle Nino quite literal become the same person
Ma G. asks Mike if his girlfriend has been down yet and he says that she is coming down soon and he is going to propose. Then it’s more some family, family, family so happy you are all here with me to share this moment with me. I think they contractually required say “happy” “family” and “share with me” at least 3 times each an episode. Next Ma G asks Ronnie about his girlfriend. Vinny says Ron’s girlfriend was about to pop and Ron says as usual he did everything backwards. Referencing that he knocked her up before wifeing her and Uncle Nino, blesses America. But Knockout Ronnie dreams big and maybe someday he can have what Mike has in a relationship.
Uncle Nino eventually wanders out to the patio and accuses Pauly of checking out his package.
Vinny tells him that they have all decided they want to roast him and throws some shade his way. Put Uncle Nino has no shame and you can’t roast someone who doesn’t have shame. Also, he loves a good nickname.
Oh, hey look its Jenni’s OG nose
But Ronnie’s new name… Fat Muscles! Inside Ma G takes her apron and chills with the ladies while they tell her what an amazing mom she is. Jenni and Nicole want to be just like her when they grow up.
Outside Uncle Nino notices that coconuts and they all decide to cut one open. Only it’s not as easy as cutting into and ends taking a few tries.
I don’t know but those reaching for story lines should do more interesting things because this is boring as shit
The next morning the girls make a big breakfast spread for Ma G and Uncle Nino as a thank you and send off! Ronnie takes this moment to ask a man with 4 kids and what I hope was an exaggerated 13 marriages what advice he has for him. Vinny says he shouldn’t take parenting advice from Uncle Nino because he just met his son recently.
Then it’s time for a special moment with Ronnie and how hard it is to have a baby. Dude you aren’t even the on carrying this baby. Also, MTV when did you become a channel all about babies, marriage/relationship issues and unplanned pregnancies!?!?!?!?! Did I miss the announcement that you are now young adult version of TLC? You have literally become the bummer friend who had kids too young and is constantly talking about how much life sucks. Of course, it does!
The only thing listened to in this conversation was Ma G saying about marriage because I totally agreed with her.
I love how whenever Ronnie talks to someone it’s a profound life changing conversation and then he goes right back to being himself
And then this happened.
Later that night Ronnie and the girls settle in the backyard to drink. Also, to talk about how hard all of this reality of being a dad is hitting him. UGH, WHY!!?!?!?! But the bigger issue now, is that he doesn’t know where her heart is because……………wait for it……….SHE CHEATED on him too! But he has just been trying to be the bigger person with his poops and block all his sadness from the family.
I AM SO SURE
Ronnie, didn’t bring it up before because like, he doesn’t like to bring outside shit into the sacred space of the house. He has been trying to work through it on his own, but that’s not possible he needs help from his family. Ugh, ok whatever.
Does it though because Ronnie seems like he cheats on everyone he has been with
Most of all Ronnie is afraid that after she is no longer pregnant she is going back to her old ways. Thankfully Jen, is a bit of famewhore herself and already gave interviews where she explained that before Ronnie she was with someone for four years. It happened in the beginning of their relationship when they weren’t exclusive, and she went back to guy she had been with before.
But Jenni, feels bad about riding Ronnie’s ass about Jen.
Jenni you cannot be that stupid, even Thanos shed tears
They tell him he has to live in the moment because he can’t just be sitting around waiting for her to cheat. Ron admits that he has been dirty too…
Oh well, as long as you are being accountable
But Deena isn’t taking the bait like gullible Jenni and tells him he could have left her then, but he chose not to, so he has to move on from that incident. Ronnie just isn’t used to being with a player like himself.
The next morning the crew is stressing about Mike’s proposal and yet he seems to be not all concerned. Vinny says that Lauren plans Mike’s whole life, so he’s not used to having to plan anything. They are making this all a very big deal, I guess it is, but the proposal and wedding aren’t shit compared to the relationship.
A delivery man arrives with the ring and he makes sure to new drop the jewelers name again while Jenni is beside herself with excitement over unveiling her jewelers work.
It is a very pretty ring
Out to lunch the crew starts to get down to the brass tacks of the proposal and Jenni starts to get testy with Mike because he wants everyone to do everything for him. Hey, I bet that’s how he ended up in the financial situation he is in, letting everyone make decisions for him. There is a lot of back and forth about who is doing what and the scheduling, which is all hilarious because you know it’s some poor production assistants doing it all. But the best part of this talk is Deena.
For Mike this is easier said than done
Once in the car Mike brings up Jenni’s attitude and how she is acting like if it weren’t for her none of this would even be happening. Pauly tells him that this is his day and don’t let anything bring him down. Vinny always the voice of misogynistic reasoning, says girls are soooo crazy about weddings.
But in the girl’s car a different narrative is forming, that none of this would be happening without Jenni or the girls setting this all up. Is anyone else getting the feeling that Jenni actually paid for the ring?
At the barbershop the guys reminisce about the days when the Situation managed two girls at once. But now he is hanging up his players jersey…. It was only a matter of time. Ronnie says he looks nervous he says he’s not nervous he’s pissed that Jwoww was giving him shade. It’s ok though because he has the remedy for her attitude a pie in the face and Ronnie is all too excited to see the dark side coming over Mike.
At last Lauren arrives and the difference from Jen visiting is obvious as they are genuinely excited to see each other.
They look alike right?
Ronnie admits that he is jealous of what Mike has because he isn’t that happy. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Ronnie has to fix himself before he can find that kind of love.
The girls welcome her presence because Mike needs a guide and they are tired of doing it for him.
It’s a little hard to be a bad ass with a Belle on your bicep
The crew encourage Mike to give her a tour while they talk about how banging Lauren is…her body is so tight she makes Vinny feel fat. Mike is so excited about proposing he can hardly contain himself and on the walk around the backyard they stumble upon a hard-partying gal.
What did Uncle Nino do to her?!?!?!?
They get ready to go and let Lauren call when the cabs arrive. With her there Ronnie is riding with the girls getting gossipy or as Deena put it, hitting the hater button on Mike. He talks some shit and admits that he is still not over the French fry joke. You know why you will never be happy Ron? Because you hold onto grudges and misdeeds people do to you as an excuse to be shitty in the future. He’s so mad he tells Jenni that Mike is planning on putting a pie in her face on the last night.
Jenni’s 1980’s secretary glasses are not having this
With Beauty and the Beast securely under wraps Jenni asks Nicole to check her because she is about to fuck shit up. Ronnie is pleased because Jenni is going to fuck up this proposal and his job is done.
Did you see what I just did right there
They arrive for dinner at the Sugar Factory, which is apparetnely a chain that specializes in sugar drinks and desserts.
Must be Vinny’s cheat day
Jenni is being flippit at the end of the table and getting loud by saying things like, I am about to ruin someone’s proposal,” to get everyones attention and her partner in crime Ronnie is all to happy to join in on ruining the surprise.
Did you hear that too
Poor Nicole is trying to keep a lid on the two assholes fully knowing that Lauren can definitely hear them. Deena takes Lauren outside while Jenni moves down to the end of the table to settle the score with Mike.
The count chocula eyebrows and Working Girl glasses are in full effect, so you know she is pissed
I wonder who told
Jenni keeps going, she gave up her ring maker and all for Lauren, because she deserves the best. Its all about disrespect for Jenni but Mike points out it didn’t even happen yet and if that’s what she was upset about, she should have come to him because she sounds crazy. The house loving to pull pranks on each other but apparently they are not OK against Jenni. They hug it out and they are fine.
The crew arrives home and everyone goes to bed but Ronnie who is angrily throwing shit into the pool and crying in the confessional. Mostly because he is emotional after Ma G’s talk and seeing Mike’s happiness that he was unsuccessful in shitting all over.
Dude that’s like 50% of marriages
Honeslty I think Ronnie needs a really good therapist and maybe take himself off this show because he obviously has some self-destrcutive tendencies that he needs to address. Also, Jen said in a few interviews that Ronnie wanted to get her pregnant and they were trying. Who knows if that true but these “shes not the one” introspective rants he goes on feel disingenuous especially when he mourns Sammi at the same time, a relationship that he ruined through his own actions.
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