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  • uh, you know you like the FAMILY AFFAIR opening song. I bet it will start playing in your head the moment you stop reading this.

  • If that’s true, Caleb is dead to me.

  • itchy

    No doubt it was your nostalgia for Mr. French. I’d almost succeeded in completely wiping that show from my brain. Sigh.

  • itchy

    Yeah, I know. It surprised me too.

  • notwithoutmyTV

    Wait. What?

  • notwithoutmyTV

    Yes, only the alternative child would be even LESS interesting that either one of his/her parents.

  • uh, I could be wrong. He *seemed* gay. My gaydar was going off but it was hot outside so maybe that made it go haywire.

  • itchy

    Ah yes. Apparently Caleb referred to the President of the United States of America as a “muslim monkey.”

    Gonna be a fun season!

  • itchy

    I liked him, he seems funny, and he admits the beard is just a prop. But I dunno about gay — they just had a gay guy on BB Canada with the exact same beard.

  • itchy

    You win again, Mr. D.

  • Donny seems gay. In the jeff/cbs video he seemed way too interested in Jeff’s white teeth.

  • I wish they would cast older peeps too. That season with Jerry and Renny was one of the best.

  • Mine was Mr. French on Family Affair. He’s so dreamy.

  • itchy

    Your hunter has just been outed as a racist homophobe and [gasp] a Republican.

  • notwithoutmyTV

    >>>>>I have a feeling if your hunting trip starts to become an “adventure” in the United States you’re heading into Deliverance country. So count me out.

    “Adventure” starts when your guide gets bit by a rattlesnake, the leg dies, and you have to saw it off with the plastic knife from your Wal Mart camping kit.

    I knew a hunter who once said “When I’m staying in a hotel, Bigfoot is the stupidest idea I ever heard. If I’m sleeping in a camper, I’m willing to discuss his existence. If I’m just in a sleeping bag on the ground, I’m totally convinced Bigfoot exists.”

  • notwithoutmyTV

    Mine was Erin Gray on Silver Spoons.

    I saw her signing photos at a sci fi/comic convention about 8 years ago. I couldn’t make my feet move to approach her booth. And there was NO ONE at her booth. She would have been captive to my dubious charms. I don’t think any of those foolish kids even knew she used to be Commander Wilma Deering.

  • itchy

    In the interest of “science” I watched most of the girls’ videos. How come the DJ Twit gets more than four to blather her nonsense, while the Bow-tied Minister got less than two? And why was the nerd blonde’s video cut so much?

    Well, okay, I think I know the answers to those… Watching the minister lady’s body language was enlightening. She couldn’t lean far enough away from reality slut Jeff, could she?

    More importantly, there’s no way that “Victoria” is orthodox. First of all, the name. Victoria? As in Victoria, daughter of Amnon, son of Jacob? More likely, Victoria was one of Lot’s daughters, you know, the sluts who seduced their own father. GUARANTEED Victoria will be the first to be making a “tent” at night. Bet she wears the skimpiest bikini too.

  • itchy

    Reality television is like when my dad used to spin me by grabbing my arms and swinging me around so fast that everything would just become a blur. It was great fun! Until he dropped me.

  • Chicken Lips

    I just read this and I can’t remember anything about anyone I just read about. Except the guy with pink hair and a unisex name and a girl with blue hair and a unisex name. If they mated, would they make a child with purple hair and a unisex name?

  • patbsaid

    So the not as cute nerdy girl is just McCrae in a blond wig, right?

  • cattyfan

    Wow. Even less diverse than usual. Only one person over forty….three who are between 30 and 33…the rest are all in their twenties…and 90% of ’em are white. Do the casting directors just look in the parking lot at the nearest Starbucks for contestants?

  • itchy

    My first televised infatuation was for the girl named Joey on Courtship of Eddie’s Father. True, she didn’t have blue hair, but she did grow up to become friends with Mel Gibson, so that counts, right? Anyway, my money’s on blue-haired Joey to be booted first.

    Can’t wait until the bible thumpers gang up on the orthodox Israeli. Wonder if she’ll be bringing “her” bible too? Even better, she should bring a torah. But the big question is, what’s she gonna do when she gets her period in the house? Transform the pool into a mikvah?

  • AmberAtkins

    I will take obnoxious flaming queen over paranoid cop anyday!

  • blazergirl

    As someone else who is terrified of moths, I can say it is absolutely not the same as being afraid of butterflies. Why? I have no idea. It’s a ridiculously irrational fear and I am a moron, but it is what it is.

    Brittany is the worst. Who the hell misses hashtags?