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Dear Crabby is a TVGasm alum with her main credits being Toddlers & Tiaras, Ugly Betty and Celebrity Apprentice. Likes include black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and dark chocolate, and the treadmill that allows for those meals. Dislikes include children of any kind and stupid people who don't get her jokes. Hobbies include her dogs, chickens, gardening, harshly judging others and binge-watching shows on Hulu and Netflix now that the cord to the evil cable company has been cut.
  • dubblebubble

    So anybody know if this poster is talking about Bailey’s mom?

  • getalife

    Bailey looks like she has a deformed forehead – it juts way out. Not a nice profile, that’s for sure. She’s kind of cute now but if she’s going to end up looking at all like momma she’d better enjoy it while she can!

  • The foul spitting kid needs some manners! YUCK!

  • That Bailey was one of the ugliest children I have ever seen..her mom is horrid..and made her that ugly.

  • thisbuggs4u

    Great! Just what I need!

    Is TLC pulling this show? I mean this is the second week of 2 back to back episodes…I don’t know if this group could take T&T with drawls!

  • CDR Janny

    Sadly, you’ll probably still have massive headaches after watching last night’s two train wrecks. TLC seems to be going for the Jerry Springer vibe. But very enjoyable!

  • thisbuggs4u

    I have both on the DVR. Been having massive head aches the past few days…Will watch tomorrow and am pretty sure I will have lots to say…I am trying to get an avitar also. I figured out how to make one, no I am just trying to figure out how to get it here!

  • PageantKidGrownUp

    Did the DVR thing here. But if eight hand gossip is true, the Coastal GA pageant played a very large part in Wendy pulling Paisley from pageants. Honestly, those two remain favorites of mine. The kid acts like a typical kid, seemed to like pageants overall, I don’t need a wtf pageantese to English translation even if TLC disagrees for Mom or Paisley. Plus, for the only time I can remember, Wendy admitted that she was doing this for herself. On the show, all but the boring ones are the exact same but they don’t admit it. Plus, honestly, for as stage mom as Wendy was shown, she was good for snarking herself. Granted, I’m not dressing my kid up in “the” outfit – but the beloved Shirley Temple routines are worse for the creep factor and there was no stripper moves in less underwear than I wore on my honeymoon. Kid clumped around in a costume wig, mostly covered and with the silly wig, it was funny more than skanky.

  • the wrong Spock

    IKR?? It’s soooooooooo epic. Crabby will need naps and snacks to cover it!!! I’m pretty sure my mouth was all slack jawed in horror the entire time. Sweet. Effing. Cupcake dress. Crap.

  • Ashley24

    This recap was WAY too long. Kelsie is a beautiful little girl. I love her curly hair, I hate how you made nearly this entire recap about how ugly she is and how she cries too much. Her mom is the ugly one and obviously the TWO year old has a lot to cry about. And, btw mayo does make your hair soft and healthier. Look it up. So so ignorant….

  • Chicken Lips

    OH. DEAR. LORD! I just started watching the 9:00 ET show and I’m seriously afraid our Dear Crabby won’t be able to ‘cap this one because she will explode from having so much to say and her fingers being too slow to type it all.

    Just watching the “coming up on” I cannot wait for the ‘cap and the fun!

  • PageantKidGrownUp

    Gak, on ye olde place, narcassitic mean bitch has drug her bitch friends with her. We be evil skanky hobags for snarking on her brat having fewer manners than a goldfish, even if the brat is actually pretty. Momma bitch needs to learn the Naomi Campbell lesson. No matter how pretty you may be, an ugly personality will ruin you. Or beauty fades, ugly is forever.

    I don’t care if the meanie pants producers tell your ill mannered demonic spawn to be rude. My toddler demon spawn would be wide eyed in shock if told to say that she’s pretty and another is ugly. Spitting would get the produce the same reaction. If pushed on either, she’d run off for Daddy. Teach your brats manners and to stand up for themselves. It’ll help keep them off the pole.

    Or how about not being a fame whore and refusing to sign such a hideous contract. If your kid is that special, there are other options that don’t control your next 12 months or require your minor child be badgered by strangers without you present.

  • Dear Crabby.

    I love you forever.

    love, J-Mo 🙂

  • TurtleGirl93

    I’m late to this party but at least I found it! Here’s hoping we love our new online home as much as the old one. Salud!

  • ellemenop

    unfortunately, stealing server space also seems a little too high-tech for your average hood rat. maybe zombie apocalypse mom is Asian enough to pull it off, though.

  • “Does she even listen to what she says or does she just spout off words in the hopes that their order will make some sense?”

    My new favorite sentence.

  • TinkerTeaTori

    hey now…I’m an awesome pageant mom 😉

  • TinkerTeaTori

    She’ll be making her hood rat self back on our tvs before the seasons end, and frankly I am strangely excited about this…

  • Chicken Lips

    If you were a hood rat, you’d know how to get it for free and then we can have single pages all up in here!

    (I’m assuming – I’m not a hood rat, but stealing server space seems like a hood rat thing to do)

  • RonnieK

    Sorry Tapn!! Have to have pages to pay for server space! ;(

  • Tapnfeet99

    Weird, now it won’t let me read in a single page format but it did two hours ago….am I missing a trick? That button seems to have disappeared.

    Btw, I still remember my mom having to drive through Inglewood when I was little and she got all freaked out b/c we were lost at night and she was afraid to ask for directions b/c it was SCARY INGLEWOOD! Bet Tristian was right near us getting into fights with other hoodrat kids. 😉

  • ellemenop

    but according to rileyscoach, she doesn’t “actually” spit because apparently she doesn’t know how to make saliva come out to accompany the spitting motions. she is robbing a child who actually ejects saliva through her pursed lips from the UGS in spitting. what is this, a Lisa Fulgham pageant???

  • Shorty Cakes

    Ha ha awesome Aunt D.!!!!

  • Aunt Dorsey

    If I were Kelsie, I’d cry all the damn time too, being saddled with a mother like Dristan. I predict she’ll graduate from mayonnaise eating to paste by pre-school.

  • Shorty Cakes

    Crabby, I will miss re-reading your past snarks of Toddlers & Tiaras, from 2009 on. Can you re-post them here on this website? I love to watch an old episode and then read the recap gain, fun fun!

  • Aunt Dorsey

    The “spitter” made the big time and was on The Soup. Here’s hoping she can upgrade to loogies and parlay that singular talent to Miss America.

  • Schadenfreude

    Managed the long migration, over mountains, across rivers, battling Delusionas with Hydra-headed toddlers, to join the Gasmii who are now. . . .Trashmii? It’s nice to be here at the new Casa Crabby!

  • Pegalicious

    Yay! We can see it in a single page, AND we can reply to a specific comment! Soooo happy!

    Congrats on the new site, everyone.

    (Oops, sorry; I commented on TnT on the Site That Shall Not Be Named… Just wanted to squee a bit about the new site…)

  • thisbuggs4u

    I hope Cora finds her way over here! Delusiona at its finest!

  • ellemenop

    I wish there were “like” buttons.

  • Labowner

    One is already here Ellemenop.

  • ellemenop

    ooh, how long ’til the delusiona moms migrate?

  • cattyfan

    I don’t have anything to say. I just wanted to post on the new site.

  • Southern Twang

    I can’t wait!!! Epic sagas 🙂

  • RonnieK

    If she’s even half as good as the cracker she’ll do great.

  • RonnieK

    The reply button is gonna be hilarious. You know there are gonna be sagas

  • thisbuggs4u

    Oh jeez we have a reply button?!? This is going to get interesting!
    Yeah, Tori is here! Is it bad that it is 10:30 and I am still wanting coffee??

  • TinkerTeaTori

    I am very interested to see how Triscuit does on her appearance…

  • RonnieK

    Haha! Welcome to your new home people

  • thisbuggs4u

    Clair you beat me to it!
    Git it Gurl!

  • Clair

    Sparkle Baby!