Hello Trashies and welcome back to the Jersey Shore house. A new guest has arrived and the ladies of the house are handling it with all the grace and manners one would expect.
Jenni’s issue with Angelina is that she left the house twice and also talked shit. So, she demands Ronnie carry her luggage upstairs, so she can go Namaste the shit out of her room.
Downstairs Pauly chirps out his nonsensical shit word of the day.
Try using it in a sentence
Upstairs Nicole and Jenni beat the shit and hopefully some answers out of Ronnie. While Vinny talks to Angelina about how nice and cool Nicole is now. Upstairs Ronnie tries to tell them that Angelina is nice now too. Nicole cannot believe the words that are coming out his mouth. He grew a conscience and is suddenly Princess Diana. I guess that is the only person Nicole could think of with a strong moral compass.
Angelina will be sleeping in the smush room since it’s not getting any use anyway. But Nicole is pissed nonetheless because Angelina just sold a story about how ugly she is now and then we get an awesome clip showoff Angelina and Nicole going to fisticuffs.
Angelina walks in on all of them hanging out in the girl’s room and Jenni wastes no time asking her why the FUCK is she here. Because it would be too obvious to say the producers invited her, duh, Angelina says to make amends. Jenni doesn’t believe her because she has never reached out off camera to make amends and for Nicole it’s the issue of Angelina saying she is ugly.
I paid a lot for these Ursula the Sea Witch lips
Angelina claims that tabloids came to her, she wasn’t selling stories, but Nicole doesn’t believe her. Deena states the obvious and is completely honest. Angelina leaving was the best thing that could have happened to her because it opened up a spot for her.
Then they start talking about their bond and how they are family. Angelina could never have that with them and they don’t want to try.
Sure, OK. I get it that they are war buddies for surviving the fray together but is this a “family” people are dying to be part of? Also, they are kind of assholes about this family and threatening that she isn’t going to make it a week when they know they can make it happen with a threaten to quit.
Jenni and Angelina go back and forth on who blocked who and why she didn’t just twitter if she didn’t have her number.
Well, to be fair we are all giving the new faces a chance, sooooooo
Yeah Angelina you could have been getting live text messages about Ronnie physically assaulting Jen, a month after she gave birth and being encouraged to ridicule/shame her for past sexual relationships. YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH!!!!!
Deena tries to break the tension and Jenni jumps up her ass by saying she wasn’t even here with Angelina and therefore is not entitled to an opinion. Then she tells Angelina to let her know how long she is going to be here, so Nicole can pack her bags for her.
I feel like this has been covered and at this point maybe you need to take this up with production if you need a refresher
Jenni tells Angelina she is nothing but a chew toy and get the fuck out of the house. To her credit Angelina doesn’t crack and says she isn’t going anywhere.
Ronnie of all people is the only one who goes and talks to her in her room. He gets her to admit that she has talked to a lot of shit and encourages her to stay humble.
Outside the Curse of Angelina has worked exactly as production wanted, it gave the group an opportunity to unite against something to save them from attacking each other and Ronnie being at the eye of the shit storm.
Ronnie lets them in on what he told Angelina, but they are not interested because they are mature women of the world. Nicole says that Angelina is still an immature bitch who left them twice and she isn’t interested on building anything with her, she isn’t some Lego bitch.
The next morning Jenni wakes up feeling refreshed and ready to punch things. So, she talks MVP into going to Title to work off some her not at all over-dramatic and self-entitled rage against Angelina. Ronnie, Nicole and Deena are going to have a meatball day and Angelina looks like she will be spending the day alone petting her weave. But Mike suggests she go drinking with the girls. Ronnie reluctantly invites her fully knowing he still has to break it to the meatballs. He thinks that maybe them getting drunk together will help. Besides if he can get over his beef with Mike, they can get over their beef with Angelina.
Nicole is NOT happy about this news and throws fit but ultimately agrees as long as she can have a wine before they go. Ronnie goes and tells Angelina the news with contingency that she better not fucks it up.
In the car on the way over Nicole asks Angelina about her job as a nurse. Actually, Angelina is an EMT and yes if Nicole chokes she would save her… even though Nicole hates her. Nicole says she is going to find that article to prove what Angelina said about her being fugly. Angelina says she didn’t say she was ugly she said having her lips done changed the way that she looked but didn’t change the way Nicole looked. Erm I hope Angelina isn’t the one driving the ambulance because she can’t see that good.
Ronnie asks if they find the article and it proves that Angelina didn’t call her ugly, will she drop it?
So what who cares, I have highlights
Does she think no one can tell?
At the Clevelander the meatballs settle in and right as the very cute waitress comes over, Nicole asks if she can get on her phone. UM, I thought that was reality show no-no on these types of shows, no internet, no social media, cell phones etc. Nevertheless, she finds the article in question and all we end hearing about it is groaning because I am guessing it didn’t say that she thought she was ugly.
At the gym lame people are working out. Jenni continues her tirade on making the punching bag Angelina’s face and asks for reassurance that she is scary. I mean she is tall, but you know she is afraid of taking a blow to the face, it still has the price tag on.
At the Clevelander Nicole has found the article and here is what it said:
She’s trying to copy my look. I don’t really like the new lips, they aren’t doing much for her, to be honest with you. I don’t know what the hell that’s all about, but whatever.
OOOOOOHHH girl I can see why you were mad she DOGGED you. Also, she isn’t wrong. Them lips are strange.
Angelina admits that the last time she left house she was in dark place and said things she should not have said and now regrets it all. She apologizes and says she should have never said any of that. She is still a bitch but a nice bitch.
Then the fun begins…
It’s like joining a gang except instead of getting jumped you have to get meatballed
They are having so much fun that at one-point Angelina kisses Nicole’s cheek
And she lets her know what the five fingers said to the face
But they get over it… apparently
The GTL group returns from their fun filled day of smelling Mike’s farts and talking about how great the workout was today. ZZzzzzzzzzz … then talk turns to Angelina and how they should all give her a second chance.
The meatballs arrive at home very sauced. Jenni runs downstairs to ask the girls how it went and to have them show her where Angelina hurt them, so she can threaten to kick her ass. Instead she finds a slurring, wasted Deena talking to Chris telling him how much he likes Angelina. Even in her inebriated state she knows it does not please Jenni. Jenni storms out on the patio to find Angelina smoking and Nicole lighting her cigarette, obviously dismayed that weaves are intact, and no one is fighting.
I am sorry, but I had a lot of fun with her and her boobs are real
Deena wanders out to see what’s up and realizes that they are just continuing to rehash the past she says she doesn’t care and goes back inside.
Jenni agrees to give Angelina another chance, a third one to be exact and since she has a new face too, it is just like meeting someone new.
Upstairs Angelina is in her room while downstairs they are having another fucking meeting on whether or not they should give Angelina a third chance and what her intentions are exactly.
Me too how many fucking family meetings can you have in one episode
Mike lets her know that they decided as a family to give her a chance but before they can fully accept her they need her to repeat her intentions AGAIN. OMFG why, they are just asking the same thing over and over? Do they have problems retaining information?
There is at least one family member who DGAF.
Jenni annoyed with the whole situation, tells Deena that she gets that the meatballs want to drink but this is supposed to be about Angelina pleading her case to sit with the cool kids at lunch. Deena and Nicole remind her that they have been with her all day and have heard everything she has had to say. Jenni feeling the need to attack someone tells Deena to shut up because she isn’t allowed to talk because she never lets anyone talk. Deena is coherent enough to ask why Nicole can yell at her and she can’t. Jenni laughs and thinks it’s funny because it’s true. Deena is pissed on the couch but in the confessional, she is crying.
So, I feel like I can talk to you like you are a child and I got myself all worked up at Title to come home and beat Angelina’s ass and now I can’t, so I am going to pretend you have a problem because if I don’t no one will think I am cool, OK
Then Jenni laughs at while Deena cries and chips away at her self-esteem.
Later Nicole, Ronnie and Deena are hanging out by the pool while Angelina hangs out on the patio. Deena is talking about how nice the pool feels and how she just wants to jump in.
Deena changes and comes back downstairs upset because she feels that everyone picks on her, but just look at Nicole’s face in this scene.
They are wasted
Angelina is on now on the duck phone and while Nicole comforts Deena, Angelina tells Ronnie to push her in the pool. So, they go back outside, and she walks on the ledge and Ronnie lives out Jenni’s dream of getting push Angelina into the pool.
It does make Deena feel better and Nicole compliments her ass asking if she got ass injections too. Angelina says no and then proves it to her.
Oh, hey production
Deena goes inside, and Angelina confirms that it made Deena feel better. Nicole says it did and welcomes her home. Angelina is feeling really good about this reconciliation and is starting to feel accepted.
The next morning Pauly D’s wakes up chants are not enough to raise the dead and this call for banana bags.
Angelina asks for two bags and Jenni is like calm down you have been here one day. Um, Jenni, Angelina is a medical professional. If she wants more vitamins she can have them at least she does more than pretend to drink and be judgmental, so simmer down. The meatballs are getting theirs in bed and seeing the fairer sex being able to handle the “pain” Vinny decides to get one too.
Jenni has decided to fly her jeweler from Beverly Hills to help Mike create the perfect ring. You know what everyone does for their friend when they are having problems finding an engagement ring.
Vinny and Angelina have a lovely moment where he informs her that he does not date girls from Staten Island because they sound like truck drivers. She doesn’t understand WTF he is talking about. It is at that moment that Pauly decides that this prank has gone too long AND ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER FAMILY MEETING.
They all agree that Angelina needs to go home because they can’t be having all the potential endorsements they might get out of this being split another way. So, it’s time to tell her to leave and if they reconnect off screen when home great. But they need to end this the way they all started it, just them. They elect Jenni to be the one who tells her through a toast and night of partying to soften the blow. Jenni secretly looks pleased to be the messenger.
Back to Sakura, Mike orders a bunch of food and everyone fat shames him. Angelina gives a little speech about how happy she is that they are all having fun and enjoying their time together. The whole table is breaking out in giggles and Pauly is giving his nervous chanting when Jenni calls on him to give a toast. Jenni clears her throat and for as hard as she acts she can’t look at Angelina as she tells her…
BOOM. I cannot believe that they are kicking her out so soon. Now truthfully, Angelina was problematic in the first few seasons. She wasn’t interested in working or bonding in the first season and despite what she says she totally left because of her boyfriend. Who probably didn’t want to be on TV due to his impending divorce, if he was getting divorced at all. The second season she obviously came back because the show blew up. She was a little too thirsty and seemed like she really wanted to reconnect with Pauly after hooking up with him in the off season. But hitting him, then Mike and brawling with Nicole did not bode well for her. Not to mention that the only one who seemed in interested in being her friend was Sammi and the minute she wasn’t honest with her about Ronnie hooking up with other girls she kissed that goodbye. Then again all the girls were jerks for not telling Sammi anything and writing a NOTE instead. Hopefully her and Sammi make a cameo in the second season.
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us on Facebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get the occasional gif on Tumblr!