Celebitchy — Kim Kardashian & Kanye West Are Expecting Their Second Child, Kim Confirms
Start practicing your best camera ready look, fetus. The paparazzi are going to be camping out in front of Kim’s gaping vadge for your grand entrance. Can’t wait to see what directionally inspired name this kid gets. Southwest, Eastbound Lane Accident, 405 South, Google Maps? Start placing your bets, Trashmii.
E! Online — Bruce Jenner Makes Public Debut as Caitlyn Jenner on the Cover of Vanity Fair
I think, Caitlyn looks like a cross between Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Jessica Lange, and is totally rocking that corset. You just know that somewhere in the Valley, Satan’s Top Sales Rep, Kris is having a fit that her ex looks better than she does.
Dlisted — Dustin Diamond Has Been Found Not Guilty of Stabbing the Guy He Stabbed
Your honor, I swear I didn’t mean to stab that guy. I just tripped and fell, and then my switchblade magically appeared in my hand and ended up lodged in the guy I was fighting. Hijinks! Hijinks, I tell you. Just ask Mr. Belding, wacky stuff is always happening to me.
People — E.L. James Announces New Fifty Shades of Grey Book Told From Christian’s Perspective
It’s so nice to see someone giving us the male perspective on dominating women. Men just aren’t given enough attention in bad literature, and it’s so great to see E.L. James give her poorly written, sparkle vampire inspired protagonist a voice. I can’t wait to get inside his head as he picks out which whip will cause the most discomfort, and how much thought goes into controlling his paid sex puppet, Anastasia.