Welcome to episode 9! Can you believe it girls!?! We are 1/10th of the way through the season! MisRed hopes everyone enjoyed the long weekend but took a moment to remember those that sacrificed their lives for our country. MisRed will try to not get any more political than that.
We had a few developments this week. Dorinda flipped out at someone who baited her on Twitter. If you missed it, on Memorial Day, Dorinda tweeted a pic of herself laying flowers on Richard’s grave and mentioned about remembering him and all troops who died. The “fan” chastised her- that it was INAPPROPRIATE for Dorinda to post this on Memorial Day- it belongs on Veteran’s Day- as Richard did not die in battle. And of course, Dorinda took the bait and flipped her wig. Ugh. MisRed hates people. In MisRed’s opinion, any day is appropriate to remember and honor those who serve our country. I swear, social media has really given people the opportunity to let their asshole flowers bloom- everything gets picked apart by people who have nothing going on in their lives.**
**Said by the animal that pics apart and mocks TV shows and the people on them. But MisRed does this FOR YOUUUUU!!!
But you know what I mean. People, if you can do nothing but nitpick about Dorinda remembering her dead husband who served in the military, you need a hobby. Or do some volunteer work.
Speaking of social media … the Roseanne meltdown. Ugh. MisRed was really enjoying the Roseanne reboot. I posted something yesterday about how people should have to pass a psychiatric exam and an IQ test before they be allowed a Twitter account. Of course, what Roseanne posted was wrong and disgusting- MisRed firmly believes that Roseanne has some psychological issues. She has admitted as much. And she clearly lacks impulse control- as many, many people do and has no sense of appropriateness. And is probably a racist. Just a smidge, you know. MisRed also believes that there is an element of self-sabotage at play here too. That being said, she has always done things for shock value and a lot of it falls flat and offends people. Just goes to show you- WE CAN’T HAVE GOOD THINGS. Jesus won’t allow it.
MisRed tried to make it nice, God Damn It! See what happens?!?!
Oh, and Ramona’s car accident. LOL. Glad nobody was hurt. MisRed just hopes it was on the south side of Montauk Highway because it’s more desirable to wreck your car on the south side of the highway. Okkaaaay?!!?!?
Last week, we had the Bezerkshires Ep, part 1, including the disastrously lame Murder Mystery Dinner and the preamble to the Carole / Bethenny Feud. If you will recall, Carole was getting the sense that Bethenny was mad about something- and their vibe has been off- but Bethenny isn’t really acting like she’s mad at Carole. So, it’s a mess. When we last left these “ladies,” it appeared that Bethenny was losing the battle… but let’s see what happens…
Such a fun party.
Oh ok, they haven’t stopped fighting. MisRed is going to try to not go on and on. Bethenny wants to speak, but Carole keeps interrupting her- so Carole tells her to speak. Bethenny starts to say that the previous summer, she and Carole were, simply, in different places. Bethenny begins to say that Carole was traveling with Tinsley… and Carole interrupts that she spent a lot of time in LA as her friend’s husband died. Bethenny gets irritated – well, strike that- MORE irritated – as she is always irritated- that Carole is interrupting. Bethenny tries again, and again Carole interrupts…Bethenny gets up and says that she’s “not doing this” and she “can’t get a word in.” It’s a little bit of a retreat, and a cop out, because Bethenny loves nothing more than to talk over someone.
Sonja interviews that it’s a hard fight to watch because Carole isn’t articulating what’s really bothering her and she “can see that Bethenny is very hurt.”
Carole launches that the whole thing started when Bethenny had the interaction with Adam about helping with her charity- and Carole was not informed by Bethenny about said interaction. Carole continues that Bethenny said that Adam was “an operator.” They bicker back and forth- Carole still maintaining that Bethenny never told her she contacted Adam.
A lot of people have said that they don’t really understand why this is such a big deal. It was a professional opportunity- it’s not like Bethenny was looking for a sperm donor.
In the background we hear LuMan pipe up “I don’t give a sh*t about Adam.” Bahahaha. Way to bring it Lu.
Lu channels Alison Dubois, but with a REAL cigarette.
That operator will never emotionally fulfill you… know that.
Why does Dorinda let people smoke in her house? Gross.
Carole interviews that Bethenny called her up one afternoon- and shockingly Carole answered the phone- and Bethenny said that Adam was an operator and then said a bunch of not-so-nice things about Adam. Carole denies that Bethenny said- on that call- about the invite to Houston and calls it a “blatant lie.”
Bethenny says that because Adam was the only person who asked “for a rate” and it pissed her off, so she texted Carole saying, “Can we be done with Adam?” and she and Carole got into a huge fight and Bethenny realized she “pushed a button” and had gone too far and says she apologized. Regardless, Bethenny maintains that Adam IS an operator.
Lu says “He is an operator. Operated my niece and you.”
Yup, just putting those plugs into those holes.
Carole retorts, that no one cares what she thinks. LOL Lu continues “Really? Oh really? Where did you meet him? In MY kitchen. Because of my niece. Don’t you forget it… He’s an operator.”
Jumped. Just like on American Ninja Operator
Tinsley jumps to defend Carole and Adam’s relationship- that it was several years- and he didn’t stay with Carole for three years to “operate.” True, he didn’t even go to medical school in that time.
Lu is like “Whatever time it takes. He’s an operator. He’s a little boy from the Midwest, okay?”
What does being from the Mid-West have to do with anything. Frankly, to MisRed “being from the MidWest it means that they are probably NICE, and like fresh air. Does anyone else think Lu is giving Adam WAY too much credit here? Although Lu says that Adam slept on her niece’s couch for 6 months. Maybe he is an operator? He did sponge off Carole for a few years.
Bethenny and Carole get back to their fight repeating that they were doing different things in the summer. Carole was training for the marathon.
Hold the phone. Carole ran the Marathon?
OK, now we are getting to the meat. Bethenny says she was proud of Carole. Carole is like- you never even mentioned that I was running the marathon. Bethenny claims to have sent Carole “two care packages.”
Then Carole says she ran a HALF marathon and that Bethenny never even said CONGRATULATIONS.
Ugh. And you know the two care packages were just Skinny Girl crap.
Then Carole says, “You said, “Luann is a loser.” Bahahahaha. Well true, but in what context?
Lu comes out of her stupor and is like- Excuse me?
Oh good, now the fight can be about Luann. Hahahah. Bethenny is like HUH?!?! Carole says that when Carole texted Bethenny to say that she ran a half- marathon- which, btw, MisRed is only HALF as sick of hearing about as the full marathon- Bethenny responded with something about Luann.
Lu is like- What did she say about me?
Ramona: That you are a loser.
Lu: Oh great. I’m a loser. Really? (turning to Bethenny) Why would you call me a loser?
Bethenny: I really don’t know.Bethenny doesn’t remember saying that.
The possibilities are endless. Lu rushed into marriage with an “operator” and a serial cheater? Luann fell down last year- twice. Lu was cool, not all uncool. Lu had sex with a pirate. Lu dated Rey in Ibiza, Bitch.
I put the Lu in Loser
But then Lu says” If I’m a loser, the rest of the world sucks.”
**Echo effect, stolen from Mr. Ronnie Karam, to denote ” foreshadowing.”
Lu interviews “Do I look like a loser to you?” Lu says she happens to think she is great.
Bethenny is like “I’m done. I’m done.” Carole is like- you think it’s ok to say your piece and then “be done?” Bethenny is like “Leave me alone.” Cop out.
MAKE IT NICE!!!
Dorinda wants them to hash it out and make it ok. God, you gotta love Dorinda. She just wants to make it nice.
Carole accuses Bethenny of playing the victim and says that Bethenny doesn’t care enough about her to get to the bottom of it and Carole thinks it’s sad.
Ramones, the friendship guru, interviews that friendships are about understanding one another, and she thinks Bethenny only wants to understand her point of view. Well Ramona does seem to have a ton of female friends.
Bethenny says it’s impossible to talk to Carole. Carole is like- it’s impossible to talk to ME? Someone pipes in saying that they care about one another and it’s like somebody lit Bethenny’s fuse “If I didn’t care, do you think I would TOLERATE THIS CONVERSATION???”
And a snake… And a slut…And a whore
Oh, and she’s also pissed that Carole would reveal that Bethenny called Luann a loser- which she isn’t even completely sure she did, but she knows she’s thought Lu was a loser from WAY back.
Lu is like – SINCE WHEN DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?!!?
You’re right…I’m too drunk to fight with someone who stole my hair.
Lu gets up to tackle Bethenny, but Bethenny manages to quickly defuse that situation. And you know Luann probably has, like, crazy drunk strength.
Take a seat, LuMan
Carole walks out and says that arguing with Bethenny is incredibly frustrating, because she tries to distract from the point. Well, Carole did that too by bringing up the whole Luann is a loser thing. Bethenny says, pretty much the same thing- but feels betrayed by Carole for revealing that she thinks Lu is a loser.
Ok, MisRed is going to break this down, real simple-like. When you decide to be friends with someone, which is what Carole and Bethenny, supposedly were. You either accept them as they are, or don’t and if you don’t, you can’t be friends with them. You need to decide if it’s worth it to hear about the Marathon 24/7 or get your ear talked off at 90 miles an hour. You can’t go into a relationship with the intention of changing that person. Change only happens when the person who needs to change wants to change. And THEN you can be a friend by either supporting the change or cutting the friendship loose- which is also being a friend. If you can’t be the kind of friend that a person needs, it’s okay to admit that and move on.. Also, when you have a fight, stick to the topic at hand. You can’t drag other people or the fact that Luann is a loser into it. You can’t deflect from the point by saying- it was a Saturday or a Sunday or “Well you called Luann a loser…”. That’s spinning your wheels, really. And getting mud all over the innocent bystanders. Dr.MisRed believes this: Bethenny doesn’t let people in easily. Ever since Jill Zarin burned her, her walls are up. Hate to dredge up that old saying, but I think it’s true. She invested heavily in that friendship and got slapped in the face. She is alarmed and possibly jealous of the friendship between Tinsley and Carole. She doesn’t understand it. She views Tinsley as an insignificant piece of fluff and doesn’t understand how Carole could want to hang out with that. The other thing is- Bethenny is a tornado of drama. She’s got the businesses and PR and her daughter and the constant drama with the ex-husband- and the drama with either Ramona or Sonja or Lu. Bethenny always needs someone to be mad at, and Bethenny doesn’t consider how anyone else feels- so she just bulldozes over them and if they are hurt- that’s THEIR problem and it’s some deficiency in THEM. It’s just Carole’s turn on the wheel of Bethenny. Carole, on the other hand, seemingly, works very hard at being cool and hip. She has the young boyfriend, she can’t order eggs, she bounces in and out of relationships acting like she doesn’t really care one way or the other. But all of these things are validation to Carole. Same with the marathon. Carole wanted everyone to fall all over themselves congratulating her on her achievement. But some people just aren’t like that- and that’s not the kind of friend that Bethenny is. And despite the fact that Carole is a journalist, she isn’t out there hustling like Bethenny is. She has f*ck you money from her husband’s family and she can jack around 75% of the time. She likes to be entertained and Bethenny is nobody’s trained monkey.
Not that I need to be validated or anyyyyyyyything
In the hallway Carole says that Bethenny never even congratulated her on the Marathon and never donated to her charity. Carole says she never brings stuff like that up to Bethenny… well, she has now.
Bethenny feels the fight has gone too far, she wasn’t really even mad, but now Carole dropped that bomb about Lu being a loser… which is NEW INFO for everyone, MisRed knows…. But now Bethenny feels she can’t trust Carole anymore. Well, that’s fair, I guess. I know I’ve certainly said things about people that I wouldn’t necessarily want repeated to their face, especially if it was done in this type of way.
Well maybe not here…
Lu pipes up, “Look at me. There is no loser here.”
But definitely here.
Well, maybe not at this exact moment, but wait until Palm Beach. Muahahahahah
In the hallway, Alien Ramona is back- saying that she feels bad about this fight because she cares about both of them, and she knows Carole loves Bethenny and vice versa… meanwhile Bethenny is creeping into the room, listening.
Bethenny is like the twins at the end of the hall in The Shining
Bethenny says that it’s interesting that Ramones is saying this NOW, because that wasn’t her tune 10 minutes ago and that Ramona LOVES to see other people fight.
Dorinda comes in, to distract everyone, singing Happy Birthday to herself, carrying a cake with lit candles – and the parchment paper still on the outside. She promptly smashes her own face into the cake- lit candles and all.
Somebody get the Fire Department on stand-by
Sweet Jesus. I can’t believe these producers would light a match near Dorinda… talk about an insurance risk and fire hazard.
Dorinda gives the girls some cake… directly from her face.
As Sonja updates her profile on Tinder.
They girls continue to party the night away…
Carole has a download with Dorinda. She says that Bethenny never told Carole about Houston- and that she believes Bethenny BELIEVES that she did. Bethenny comes in and she and Carole bicker a little. Ugh.
Dorinda announces she has a camel toe and leaves Carole and Bethenny alone.
round and round we go
Bethenny tells Carole that she must be missing a text or an email about the whole Adam going to Houston thing. She continues to say that Carole has changed and she’s now way more into herself and her fashion and her selfies and her hair and Tinsley and says that Carole is more self-involved now. Carole denies it. Bethenny starts to get upset and says they are just into different things now.
Not for nothing- for whoever is manning the scoreboard- Bethenny did take time out to do an Instagram Story WHILE Cookie WAS HAVING A SEIZURE, and, essentially, dying. But Carole is the one who is completely self-involved.
Shocked Sonja still has her pants on
Meanwhile, downstairs, Luann is dry humping Sonja.
What, exactly, is Ramona doing to Luann
The next morning- it’s after 10 and the girls aren’t up yet. Except Ramona who is, like, re-wallpapering the bedroom or something. LOL Ramona’s shirt is on inside out while she’s cleaning. MisRed tried to get a screenshot but it wasn’t working out.
Somehow Bethenny slept in Luann’s bed and Lu and Sonja slept together on the fold-out in Luann’s room.
And it would appear that Luann was trying to 69 with The Cookie Monster.
That Cookie… he’s a, surprisingly, tender lover. Needs a wax, but…
Dorinda announces- repeatedly- that the is “a Coffee Station down in the kitchen.” Get a cup and get the f*ck out.
Before I officially check out…
Downstairs, Sonja is showing Dorinda the damaged photos she took of her room before she checked in… and she will not be held responsible for any damages.
Every Real Housewife should have this tattoo’d across her forehead
F*ck you Sonja. Go back into your dog-abandoning hole.
Bethenny gets ready to leave. She’s is still upset about her fight with Carole. She yells out to Kevin, “What? Since you already got your Christmas Bonus, you don’t need to help with the bags?” Bethenny can’t just be like “Hey Kevin, can you come help me with this bag?”
As Ramona prepares to leave, she tells Dorinda that she left her room SO clean! Oh what? Now we need to congratulate Ramona for not destroying a hotel room like Lil Wayene. Dorinda tells her she gets a star. In her interview, Dorinda is like- WTF does she want, a medal? Ramona was an APPROPRIATE houseguest for a change. Houseguests are supposed to be polite. #alienramona
Dorinda is happy to have them all out. But Dorinda never learns.
Over at Sonja’s trash heap, she is abusing her dog- throwing him on the bed, telling him “no food!”
The phone rings- and Sonja YELLS into it “YES?????” She did the same thing last week. Maybe her telephone doesn’t work and it’s just for show?
I love how MisRed is like- “Maybe her phone doesn’t work.” OF COURSE, it doesn’t work. What was MisRed thinking?
Poor Leo, Sonja’s contractor, comes in. He slinks, slowly up the stairs like he is embarrassed to be there. God knows, Sonja probably tried to f*ck her way into some kind of a discount. They discuss some water damage that needs to be repaired. And then Sonja tells him that back in 2008, she had sex on the sink in the staff room. Sonja says she “had some hedge funds over” and she got up on the sink, and the sink pulled off the wall. She managed to glue the towel rack back onto the wall though. MisRed does not want to know what type of “glue” was used. Ew.
This poor contractor is like… Gus! Bring me the short rope and the tall chair, please. I’m taking myself out.
- Sonja hasn’t fixed the sink in a decade?
- She had some “Hedge Funds” over?
- Sonja is so gross and has no manners.
Over at Bethenny’s, she is trying to build a fire- as she’s having her little annual Xmas party for the girls.
The monkey-fur industry must have something on Andy Cohen…
Tinsley arrives, followed by Sonja. Bethenny comments on how beautiful Sonja looks.
She looks like she was just stumbling home from a cocktail party with Ann Coulter. Doesn’t Ann Coulter always look like she just stumbled out of some cocktail party and stops by The Today Show to spew her venom on her way back to the coffin in which she sleeps. Except Sonja does look pretty- for Sonja. Ann Coulter looks like a deflated sex doll. No offense to all sex dolls (deflated, or otherwise) reading this recap.
Bethenny says that “Sonja looks fresh as a daisy and she knows it.” Well she probably took Satoko’s advise and douched in between bachelor #37 and bachelor #38 for the day.
Sonja, can’t just be like- Thank you. She has to tell her how she doesn’t have lotion on her legs and she had to wash her face with a washcloth… this is, apparently, all to do with the construction at her house.
I douched with some Drano that the contractor left behind after he hanged himself.
Sonja then invites herself to stay with Tinsley in the hotel for a few nights. Classic.
Tinsley, you better alert housekeeping. Let them know where will be a lot of Liquid Plumber bottles, Wesson oil and brown ice to clean up. You also may want to instruct them to cart Sonja out of there after 3 days. What’s the saying- Fish and Houseguests both start to stink after 3 days? Yeah, well Sonja went in there stinking because she took a bath in her bidet.
Dorinda shows up.
Lu waltzes in saying “Don’t anybody get up…” Hang on a sec…
Practicing for later…
Lu is, apparently, setting up a blood drive for the holidays and she wants everyone to come down and give blood.
Show of hands – who would accept blood from any of these people?? Especially Lu and Sonja. I mean, come on. You KNOW that they have stuff in their blood that you DO NOT WANT. Bethenny can’t come, but Luann will accept her monetary donation.
Carole arrives in gold lame pants.
Satan on the Shelf makes an appearance
Carole says she isn’t really feeling any better about her relationship with Bethenny, but she’s not going to escalate it. The girls are doing a grab bag- bad Santa style. Carole goes first- it’s from Sonja.
Really Sonja- all of these years as a legacy and this is your level of gift-wrapping skill? Shameful.
Last MisRed checked, one is supposed to use TAPE
Carole opens it and… it’s a $5,000 gift certificate to Bergdorf Goodman! Just kidding. It’s a feces-encrusted black berry.
You KNOW this is a regift. Sonja doesn’t have any money to put in it.
Sonja opens a gift from Bethenny saying “Oooooh, I like this box, I could use it to store all of my crap in.” MisRed thinks we may need a bigger box.
Tinsley is like… you don’t need any more boxes. It’s some kind of velvet scarf or something. Ramones is next, opening a huge box of face care products from Carole. Ramones, of course, is like- Oh! I’m developing a line of anti-aging serum, and I love to try other products.
Bethenny opens a gift from Tinsley- Hanky Panky panties. Is that the line of dirty prison panties from Orange Is the New Black? LuMan opens a gift from Ramona- it’s a beauty blender and a bottle of Beauty Blender Cleanser. You KNOW Ramones got that from some swag bag at some event she went to.
Maybe its a hint…
Lu is a bit pissed at this sh*tty gift.
And Dorinda’s new interview look is frightful.
Dorinda actually thinks she may have given that to Ramona at some point.
The doorbell rings, a guy comes in the LIFE SIZE Nutcracker- the one that Bethenny badgered Dorinda to find for her in the previous episode.
Bethenny is so excited she forgets to say “Thank you” to Dorinda. The guy who delivered it is the one who decorated Dorinda’s house for the holidays.
Girllllll! It’s criminal!!
Well, at least Law & Order GDCU (Gay Decorating Crimes Unit) has a photo of the suspect now. Everyone else THANKS Dorinda and says how amazing she is. Dorinda is like… uh, Bethenny couldn’t say Thank You?
Carole interviews- The irony of the person who called out Tinsley for not being grateful enough to Sonja, is not showing much gratitude to her friend Dorinda, for arranging to get this Nutcracker.
Yeah, and kind of like the person who complains that a Marathon party in her honor wasn’t congratulatory ENOUGH to her?
Seriously, who needs a nutcracker this big? And MisRed bets it doesn’t even work. Wait, let’s get PK from Bev Hills here- we can put his nuts in it and see if it can crack those wrinkled old apple bags.
Ramona offers to give Lu her whole gift because Lu is upset about her “brush cleaner.” Bethenny is like- Ramona just offered to give you her gift!!! Ramona is like- well I just said it because I’m coming out with my own line of products, so I have my own stuff.
Bethenny, in the holiday spirit, as always.
Bethenny is like “Oh! It was an infomercial- I thought it was a good deed. Never mind.” Shut up, Bethenny. You don’t need to attack people every single second. Why don’t you say Thank you to Dorinda and stop being such a bitter old cow?
Dorinda agrees with MisRed in her interview. Ramona- as annoying as she can be- was just mentioning that she’s developing this line of products. Bethenny doesn’t need to hop all over her about it. Plus, it’s not like they all don’t support Bethenny’s brand.
The girls discuss the holidays- Tinsley and Lu are both going to Palm Beach. Well Tinsley is going to Palm Beach. Lu will be going to her brother’s in Jupiter- former stomping grounds of one Ronnie Karam. He used to work the dinner theater there… Hit it boys, 3…2…1…
Sonja is like- isn’t Tom doing New Year’s Eve down there? Lu is like- I have no clue. Sonja says she would have thought that Lu would have wanted to avoid Tom. Lu is like- I will be in Jupiter.
Pass that over to MisRed, please.
The girls comment on how Lu has moved on pretty well from the whole Tom situation- and Bethenny says “Yeah, he’s got some busted-up, banged-up girlfriend, or so I heard.” (Which is totally something MisRed would say.)
All of the women are like “ixnay ntay hetay omTay ossipgay.” Lu says that she didn’t know that. Sonja and Ramona are both like- he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He is with someone new every night. Bethenny apologizes, she didn’t realize that Lu didn’t know, seems like she genuinely feels badly.
Lu gets a little upset and says in her interview that Tom should be living under a rock, not out gallivanting around. Lu can’t believe how fast Tom has moved on.
Lu, amen. Tom was “moving on” when you were dating and married. Tom is a pig- no disrespect intended to the swine of the world. And honey, he lays it anyway he can. High. Low. Sideways. Front. Back. Upside down. Inside out. Backwards.
Lu, Carole and Dorinda leave. Bethenny says that she thought Carole seemed sad.
Ramones says she thinks Carole was just tired from the weekend. Bethenny interviews that she thinks Carole is a little upset by this Adam thing and she just seems off. Could be.
Then the real Ramona teleports in saying “so I guess there isn’t any champagne… Bethenny is like- it’s right there. Geez Ramona. Manners. Try them sometime.
Money can’t buy you glass…
Oh look, the NYC girls don’t get upset about ettiquette-ly incorrect glassware. Suck it, Dorit.
Bethenny calls them all Hos and Sonja says, “Double Ho right here.” That’s putting it conservatively.
Lu shows up at her Red Cross Blood drive. Lu, as it turns out, can’t even give blood.
Tom is on the watch list, but Lu blames it on her trip to Mexico and the Zika Virus the previous year. Well next year she will have the “jail” excuse. Sonja shows up- she is also on the watch list. She set an alarm off as soon as she walked through the door.
Bethenny’s “Brand Manager” shows up and donates $1,000 in cash cards to the Red Cross. The Red Cross lady says that the cash cards “are so heartfelt.”
Nothing warms the heart like plastic cash.
Carole shows up. She can’t donate either. She doesn’t weigh enough. <eye roll>
Lu should have put on a beer pong competition or a whore-off, so these dirty girls could participate.
Sonja is, truly, the worst actor ever. She pipes up, like she is reading off cue cards “How are you? Tell us really, how are you?” <strokes Carole’s arm with all of the warmth of a limp, listeria-stricken leaf of romaine> “After you left, the other girls said, ‘Do you think Carole is sad?”
Carole is like WTF are you talking about? Nice try, Sonja. But leave the meaningful sh*t-stirring to the professionals.
Dorinda arrives. So does Ramones and Tinsley.
Smokey Eye, Updo, Gstaad, Nigerian Football Team, Sexy J, Toaster Oven
Sonja is using her time at the Blood Drive to get some new victims.
Lu asks, “What is this Nutcracker situation??” Dorinda was a little hurt. She was excited to have achieved something that Bethenny couldn’t and then to get -not even a thank you.”
Carole confronts Ramones about what went on after Carole left. Ramona, pretty much, tells the truth- well because it’s Alien Ramona. And Carole says that she thinks Bethenny is the one who is sad and lonely. She has a hard time making and maintaining friendships and Bethenny is trying to paint Carole into someone who is lonely and sad over a break-up, and Carole says it’s just not true. Carole interviews that what makes HER sad it that Bethenny couldn’t take her aside at the party and ask Carole how she is doing and dealing with the break-up. Yeah, good point, I suppose.
Sonja says she really needs a cookie or some juice…. She can’t do charity work for two hours on end without some type of refreshment. Come on, say it with me, SHUT UP, SONJA!!
Carole talks to Ramona about how Bethenny jumped all over Ramona about her skincare line. Dorinda, has joined them, and she asks them why the heck do they allow someone to speak to them like that. Well, you are under contract to deal with her, so that’s the main reason. But it’s true- it’s abusive. Yes, a lot of it is meant in jest, but Bethenny can be biting and nasty, and it’s not like Bethenny ever thinks before she speaks. She says Ramona has verbal diarrhea… honey, check the mirror.
The ladies say goodbye for the holidays, Sonja hugging Tinsley saying she is SO looking forward to spending time in the hotel with Tinsley. In Tinsley’s interview she is like “I am so happy to return the favor. What can go wrong?”
What could go wrong?
and go their separate ways.
BTW, you just KNOW Sonja is going to be ordering room service and spa treatments. And that damn dog is going to get red dye everywhere.
Ramona and Sonja discuss their poop in front of all of the Red Cross people. Charming.
Sometime later, Ramones, takes her dog for a walk, and Bethenny calls. Bethenny is like “I’m unsettled today and a little upset. I don’t have many girlfriends, and the ones I do have…”. Ramones is like- What’s your point? Bethenny continues “I’ll tell you my point.” In Bethenny’s talking head, she says that Sonja told her that, at the Red Cross event, there was a lot of whispering about her (Bethenny) and saying negative things about her and Bethenny is trying to express that it’s hurtful. Bethenny continues on the call to Ramones “So, I do have good friends. And Carole, actually, is one of them. And I feel like, through this group, you have your different moments with each person, and you’ve definitely done, like, emotional damage.”
Well guess what- good old Ramones, isn’t having it. She is like- I don’t want to have this conversation, you are sounding very negative. Bethenny says that she hasn’t even said what she wants to say, and that Ramona is talking over her. “I called you to have a conversation, and I’m being very calm.” Ok, Ramona did interrupt Bethenny in the beginning when she was like “What’s your point?” But Bethenny did take a breath after “emotional damage.” Bethenny continues “I’m telling you that you look like you enjoy my arguing with Carole.”
Ramones is like- WTF are you talking about- I don’t enjoy any arguments. “You need a reality check. Don’t blame your problems with Carole on me.”
Bethenny says she isn’t doing that. Ramona is like- Well then WHY are you talking to ME about Carole? Bethenny tells Ramona that she preys on the weak and she doesn’t support other women.
And then Ramona takes the gloves off. “No, actually, you don’t support women. I’m very, very upset and hurt that you had the audacity at your lunch. I came out and said I was launching a skin care line and you said ‘Oh, what are you doing? An infomercial?” When you left and right bring up every product you do.
And you don’t support other women. You don’t acknowledge anybody for anything they do. And as soon as Carole left the party, you talked behind her back, so how you have the audacity to talk to me like you’re talking to me? How about you didn’t even give Dorinda credit for getting the nutcracker? You know how upset you got Dorinda for not acknowledging she got you that nutcracker for your daughter?”
In her talking head Bethenny is like- how far do I have to go? I didn’t know I have to, like, calligraphy and wax-stamp an envelope directly about the nutcracker. She doesn’t understand why Ramona is piling onto this.
Well, no, you didn’t need calligraphy. But the words THANK YOU to Dorinda, never escaped your lips, honey. And this was a big enough deal, you should have sent her a thank you note. Not a text. Not a tweet. Not an email. A thank you note- hand-written. She does say “You saved Christmas, but it was only AFTER Michael said it about himself. MisRed understands Dorinda’s point.
But Ramones is not done. She tells Bethenny that Bethenny’s biggest problem is Bethenny, and that she shouldn’t put that on her (Ramona), and she’s not having this conversation. Bethenny claims she doesn’t have a problem with herself. Ramones says that Bethenny puts everybody else down to make herself look good and that’s exactly what she’s trying to do right now. And Ramona hangs up. Thank god as Ramona’s dog was basically standing in the middle of the street.
MisRed gives it a 7 out of 10. Although she ticked through several topics, Ramones was as articulate as we’ve ever seen her, however, MisRed can understand why Bethenny was a little thrown, I mean, she thought she was calling to dress-down Ramona and it wound up biting her in the ass.
Not for nothing, the real piece of shit here is Sonja- she is the one who started the “whispers” with Carol at the Blood Drive. And then turned around and told Bethenny that people were talking about her.
For the record, I don’t think that Bethenny was being malicious in asking about Carole and whether she seemed sad to anyone? But Carole was right, the right thing to do would have been to take Carole aside and ask her how she’s faring. But Bethenny isn’t like that- she’s oblivious to other people’s feelings – and Carole knows that- so it’s hard for MisRed to be, like, that mad about it. There are friends you go to for comfort and there are friends you DON’T go to for comfort.
Luann has moved into her new apartment- a furnished penthouse. It is nice. Lu says she is writing her own story and is loving it. She’s heading to Jupiter for the holidays and then to a wedding in Chile and then she is heading to Argentina.
That’s what you think…
Flash forward. The chyron states 48 Hours Later, Florida. Tee hee.
We are recording, Palm Beach Cruiser #792 Camera.
We have Luann, handcuffed behind her back, being loaded into the back of the police car saying “I want my shoes and my bag and my stuff. Don’t touch—don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. I’m gonna kill you.”
The police officer tells her she is going to jail. Lu asks to be un-cuffed, but the police officer refuses. Lu asks why? And then slips OUT of the handcuffs. Bahahahaha. She’s Lu-dini!!
Lu gets out of the car asking “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me?”
Cut to Lu back in the cuffs and back in the back of the squad car saying, “Don’t touch me!” The cop is like, pushing Lu back- physically restraining her- and tells her he is going to hog-tie her if she doesn’t stop.
Damn it- we can never catch a break? If we had only been able to set up a crowd funder to have Luann Hog-Tied… I hate it when dreams die.
Lu keeps asking what she did wrong. Now where did MisRed put her list?
Here are the charges: Battery of law enforcement, disorderly intoxication, resisting arrest with violence, corruption by threat.
We learn that 3 of the 4 are felonies. Good Job Lu. Next time, try harder.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Next week, the Luann arrest aftermath and Bethenny and Carole have a sit down.
WOW. MisRed is nearly speechless. What an episode!!! What was your favorite part? Whose side are you on? Be sure to let MisRed know! xoxox
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