This week Season 3 continues to challenge the Catfish norm. Max and Nev swap out the standard romantic relationship for a budding scam artist. The stories seem a little more sad this year and Nev just doesn’t know what to do with himself. In the past he used to just play the hopeful optimist while Max pointed out the red flags. Now he is making fun of the way people talk and throwing phones in the water. It’s a much better Nev if you ask me. Anyway the guys get an e-mail from Lucille, who started talking with a rapper named Kidd Cole after liking his raps on SoundCloud. Lucille says she was a fan of Kidd Cole and they had a brother-sister relationship. Well, Kidd Cole is already a better rapper name than T-Lights.
That’s when Miguel, Kidd Cole’s co-manager with a British accent, reached out to Lucille and asked her to attend Kidd Cole’s birthday party. The guests were supposed to include Pharrell, Kanye West, Jaden Smith, Robin Thicke, etc And Lucille. OK that is more famous people than attended the Kimye wedding last weekend. And the list they showed had a ton more famous people:
Miguel dangled a 70k dream job working with the guys in front of Lucille’s face as well. She was hooked. Kidd Cole was planning a trip to Washington, D.C. and the guys needed her help. Lucille set up public appearances at high schools, security and transportation. After two weeks Kidd Cole supposedly left town and didn’t pay any of the bills. Lucille wants this guy to know he messed with the wrong person!!
Nev and Max begin to recap everything that has happened piece by piece, over and over again.Lucille is out $500, the limo driver is out $8,000 and the security guy out almost $15,000. First things first, is Kidd Cole legit? After an insider call to MTV and SoundHounding his SoundCloud (#toomanysounds), they reveal that he is probably not legit nor a G.O.O.D. artist. His real name is Jerez. There is a KIDD COLE SCAM ALERT Facebook page!!! The page documents a very recent scam also in the D.C. area that sounds familiar to the one pulled on Lucille. Loretta, the fellow sucker, responds to the guys over Facebook. Max and Nev are hot on the trail. They report back to Lucille and want to go to D.C. and snoop around some more. Lucille is all “Let’s do this.”
Max is really excited and says D.C. stands for Detective Catfish. In the lobby the gang meets Loretta and she is a super professional driver. She has official looking documents, an SUV, a uniform and hat with rhinestones!!! She was scammed out of almost $8,000. TL;DR he scammed her company into driving him around to H&M pretending to be Obama with a ton of security guards but had a local home address she knew because duh, she was his driver. And you don’t know Loretta, because she will come to your house when you don’t pay for livery. The homeowner told her that him and his mom had been staying there for two months and might have been homeless. Sadface. He has an arrest record for fraud and felony. She told him she might not see a penny from him, but she was going to let everyone know what he did and haunt him, so call her Spooky. She blasted his ass good on MTV so I would say mission accomplished.
Later on Nev calls Kidd Cole/Jerez and tells him that he wants to meet because he’s a “fan obviously of Kanye and good music and all that”. I guarantee that if you asked Nev to name Kanye West songs the first thing out of his mouth would be “Gold Digger!” …followed by a long pause. Anyway, back to embarrassing this maybe homeless scam artist. Jerez agrees to meet up with the gang the next day.
They approach Jerez in the park. After an incredibly awkward hug between Lucille and Jerez, Jerez says he has been in the studio and has an upcoming project with RZA from Wu Tang. OMG REALLY? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!! Oh wait, he’s lying, duh. Wow this guy really aims high with his lies. Max asks Jerez if he’s ever seen the show Catfish and he says no so they spell out why they wanted to meet up, cause you know, that money he owes to Lucille and songs he posted online that aren’t his. Jerez tries to make them disappear by staring into his cell phone.
Nev asks to see the case cause it’s SLICK and throws it into the water!! Why isn’t there a GIF of this available online yet?? It was amazing. I’m sure parents every where not watching Catfish rejoice. Jerez acts really mad about the phone and they promise they will give him a new one. Ugh someone call the wahmbulance. Jerez announces that it’s a wrap for today! Oh, ok, Jerez, thanks and see ya tomorrow! Jerez unmics while Nev gives him a half ass apology about the cell phone. I guess we really will see Jerez tomorrow, in the studio, where he does what he does.
There’s a really short scene in between commercials where Max and Nev are in an airport with a kid. The kid is 7 years old and smarter than anyone on this show so Max gives him a pair of free headphones. Really, not a Cannon camera or GoPro Max????
Back to the episode. On the way to the studio we have to watch the guys work out their strategies to dealing with Jerez out loud. Nev wants to give the guy a chance and hear why he does these awful things while Max says he will quietly SoundHound any songs they hear in the studio.There is a super official looking note on the front door letting them know they were down in the studio.
In the basement studio Jerez is with this guy Hadi. Hadi says it’s his parents house and he has a bunch of CDs hanging up in his studio. He says that lots of artists record in this studio and Jerez plays a song they were just mixing. Max picks it up on SoundHound. Then Nev gets in the studio and neither guy can figure out how to record his voice or get the equipment to start working. Hadi runs away from the group to talk to his friend John. Max gets Hadi to admit he doesn’t really live there and he isn’t a sound engineer. He has also only known Jerez for about a month.
After Max calls out Jerez- AGAIN- Lucille runs through his list of offenses and the people he scammed-AGAIN. Nev has to tell him “you are a scam artist” for him to maybe talk about what he has done. Jerez says don’t disrespect my talent and I don’t have the time to steal nobodies stuff. They take a break from filming, or act like they are, which gets Jerez to admit to Max that he did this to shut up the haters and has a story to tell.
There aren’t a lot of details but I think a social worker said he would amount to nothing when he was a foster child. Lucille gives him her best Oprah and tells him if he wants to be successful, he needs to put in the work. He didn’t even make the music on his SoundCloud page. He admits he will work on himself and he wasn’t taking the best route to accomplish his goals. That’s pretty much it. Also, Jerez has weird finger nails.
Two months later….
Lucille is studying criminal justice in college now aka permanently damaged from this experience.
Kidd Cole is now claiming to have co-produced Bey’s Drunk in Love. Everything is “co” with this guy. He refuses to conduct any further interviews, didn’t pay anyone back, and also claims that he has a tour planned in LA this summer.
Man, I have so many questions. Did Jerez show up at those school appearances that Lucille scheduled for him? Can anyone just schedule school appearances cause they are a rapper? Did MTV talk to the security Lucille hired for Jerez? They spent enough time around him to rack up a $15k bill. That’s a lot of security. This story seemed way David Hampton Six Degrees of Separation to me. That guy didn’t stop after the movie came out and Kidd Cole doesn’t appear to be slowing down.
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