catburns

Gay baby advocate
  • asby

    Am i the only one that thought Carmen was really a man???….And i got the vibe that they both were in it to be on tv

  • Charlotte

    Yes. The Obama phone is for low income families or individuals. I’m not sure that Obama phones have to be super cheap but the plans are. So it can be likely that he had a decent phone with only like 200 mins and 50 text messages a month. BTW it looked like an LG to me.

  • Charlotte

    @chaos I agree with you. I wasn’t THAT upset by Carmen. Yes three years is a long time but you call your cousin who is supposed to be your bestie a fat ass Kelly price?? And he was still calling her a fat ass in the car after. As if he is Brad Pitt’s sexy cousin. Boy bye.

  • PattiPrinocess

    Technologicaly aka, tetchy. For some reason it autocorrects “techy” to tetchy? What is tetchy?

  • Aunt Dorsey

    I can’t wrap my head around Carmen just passively sitting there and not giving back as good as she gets. She just doesn’t strike me as a meek retiring wallflower. It’s not like there isn’t plenty of retaliatory material there in plain view, what with Antwane’s fashion choices — because he’s obviously been watching Bravo’s Fashion Queens and maybe even let Miss Lawrence do his hair.

  • PattiPrincess

    Oh! Ooooooo shoot! I remember what I was gonna say before I got cut off and then started commenting like a crazy person! “Obama phone” doesn’t that refer to the inexpensive phones those less fortunate receive? You made it sound like he had a Blackberry like Obama had/has and didn’t want to give up? I’m cool with it either way but for a lot of people “Obama phone” means free cell phone. Curious what you meant.
    Sorry!!!! For commenting a zillion times, I had it in one but it went tetchy weird.

  • PattiPrincess

    I had some trouble on my last comment so, please just realize I’m starting we’re I left off. I just wanted to take away from my max/claw camera obsession to say icky to these two catfish-bait/baiter. 3! Years! Sexy time happened and how does fat Kelly Price not de-escalate in a few days and not be a serial killer? Yikes!

  • PattiPrincess

    I’m actually here to beat a dead horse (see last weeks comments, I’m still sad there wasn’t a “take Max’ camera away” bumper sticker or viral #stopmaxfilmingwithhistinycamera). I will say giving him a big boy camera most of this episode was an improvement!

  • PattiPrincess

    Preach!

  • Chaosbutterfly

    I don’t feel bad for Max or Nev. Like Carmen said, this is something new for them. Catfish is the kind of show that can get formulaic and boring fast, so they need crazy ass shit to keep it interesting. She did them a favor, truthfully. And as far as I’m concerned, Carmen might be crazy, but she still hasn’t topped Mhisty or that guy who catfished because he hated cyber-cheaters. They were crazy as fuck.

    I also don’t even really feel bad for Antwane. I don’t think he called Carmen a fat ass Kelly Price once three years ago and that set her off. I think he humiliated her back then and has been humiliating her ever since. During his tirade after Carmen revealed herself, he said that people talk shit about her all the time and he’s not the only one, but to me, if you’re her cousin and best friend, you shouldn’t be talking shit about her at all. Especially not when Antwane himself looks like Spike from the Land Before Time in a cheap lacefront wig. How can he even fix his mouth to talk about her looks?
    Nope, I don’t feel bad for him at all. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be catfished by his own cousin for three years, but he deserved something. He’s not innocent.
    If this happened to be what he got, well…..*kanye shrug* God can be funny.
    Maybe he’ll learn his lesson and be careful next time who he decides to test.
    Nev said that Carmen underestimated Antwane, but he underestimated her too. Thought he could call her a fat ass Kelly Price without consequences. He learned today tho.

    And Nev /is/ self-righteous and annoying. During the aftershow last week, I wanted to slap him, because everytime someone started to call Cassandra out on her shit, he wanted to jump in and tell everyone to be nice.
    Ain’t nobody got time for that shit. This girl is terrorizing people across state lines and he’s talking about he wants people to be nice to her. What I really wanted was for all those folks up there to tear Cassandra a new asshole. It would have been better tv than sitting there and watching her go “umm….i mean….like….i mean….umm…i mean….like….yeah” for thirty minutes of my damn life.
    When Carmen told him that not everyone Catfishes out a desire to connect with someone or fall in love, I was like yassss bitch. You would think after two seasons, he would finally get it.
    Not everyone wants to be in love.
    Sometimes people just want to fuck with other people on the internet.

    I also didn’t have any problems reading the recap.
    If you’re struggling, you’re probably thinking too hard or not thinking enough.
    Gotta think justttt right lol.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    Maybe Bravo will hire Nev and company for their Million Dollar Listing Cincinnati spinoff.

  • Chicken Lips

    Just do what Nev and the Gang would do – throw “Carmen in Cincinnati” into Google, pick the first terrible person you see and automatically assume it is her. Hilarity ensues.

  • Lizbot

    I didn’t have any trouble understanding this recap at all. And I didn’t watch the show either.

  • Merry

    I want to get Carmen’s address and send her an introductory scrap-booking kit or a vibrator or SOMETHING because girl needs a hobby.

    More seriously, she also needs to be hauled off to the loony bin! She created a phony persona to punk someone she claims to love because he snapped off an almost non-existent insult three years ago? And for what: revenge? Five minutes annoying the crap out of MTV viewers? It would be sad if it wasn’t so terrifyingly bat-shit crazy.

  • Big Pink Box

    +1 to all of this, you’ve nailed it as usual.

    Antwane looked so hurt, but he’s clearly better off without that manipulative shartwaffle out of his life. I just hope her talk of multiple victims was just idle bragging, and not the truth.

  • Big Pink Box

    Yeah, it’s difficult when there are no quote marks, nothing to indicate a change in subject, voice, or case, and odd punctuation. The first and second page actually read as if they were written by separate people. Anyway, here’s a quick rundown:

    Carmen has contacted Nev and Max (who are referred to separately and by various portmanteaux, which may be confusing) about her cousin Antwane. He has been in a phone-only relationship for three years, with a guy called ‘Tony’, who he met on a singles chat-line.

    The team search for ‘Tony’ in various rundown neighbourhoods, until Carmen admits that she, Antwane’s cousin, who was ‘Tony’ all along. Her alleged motivation for cruelly baiting the cousin that she “loves” and is “very close to” is that Antwane called her “fat”, which is seriously OTT. What would she do if someone bumped into her in a club and made her spill her drink, hunt them down and murder their kids?

    Aaand, that’s it, the whole mediocre thing, stretched embarrassingly thin in order to fill their 40-odd minute slot. It’s cringe-making and exploitative. Well, more cringe-making and exploitative than usual. It was horrible seeing poor Antwane (who actually seems like a sweet guy, if a little old-fashioned) being pushed so far beyond his comfort zone, into continuing long after he said he’d prefer to drop it. Combine that with the Wonderbread Twins (Max and Nev) striding around downtown Cinci like they owned the place, and if you haven’t seen it yet, you’ll probably be watching from between your fingers

    BTW – “Shemale”? It’s a slur for trans women, a really horrible slur used to demean and oppress in the same way as ” n****r” and “f****t” are for black people and gay men respectively. Antwane isn’t a trans woman, he’s just a gay guy with a terrible weave, and a despicable sociopath for a cousin.

    I only point it out because you obviously care about using the language well, and not to be shady or anything. ☺

    I hope the whole thing makes a bit more sense now!

  • Aunt Dorsey

    When I saw that posted sign, I was waiting for a pit bull to come tearing around the corner of the house and rearrange Nev’s nut sack. Hysterical how Antwane and Carmen stood there looking at Nev go through the gate, like “uh uh, better don’t.”

  • Aunt Dorsey

    Three years? I don’t think they spent all that time talking on the phone about hairstyles and cooking.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    I’m on the floor. Just. Prostrated. So being called “a fat-ass Kelly Price” is grounds for a three-year deep throating by cousin Carmen channelling “Tony” in a vendetta against her “heart” Antwane.

    I kind of gave Carmen the side-eye when she switched up from her natural baritone and used a falsetto voice on the chat line.

    Catfish was great the first season, when people weren’t expecting the Lone Range and Tonto to show up and out them, but now the cat’s out of the bag, I’m sure more of this stuff will happen.

    I’m storing “a fat-ass Kelly Price” in the insult locker. Because there is nothing worse than being compared to an attractive, talented, seven-time grammy nominated R&B singer-songwriter.

  • churble

    My favorite is that everyone in the episode acknowledged that it wasn’t even for 15 minutes of fame… just 5. You’re MTV famous, that shit does not last.

  • stinkyhousewives

    This one took me by surprise and was just awful on so many levels. It’s a sad commentary on what people will do for quick fame, albeit bad fame. Nev was getting himself in a tizzy with this crazy girl, trying to make sense of it, but you can’t. Nev did take some risks knocking on ghetto doors, for sure.

    I always love how Nev and Max figure things out like over the top dramatic detectives, as if they solved the Jon Benet Ramsey case. Its the internet and google. It cracks me up every time.

  • notwithoutmyTV

    Maybe I’m doing this right–I’m on the second paragraph, and I don’t know what in the FRESH HELL is going on. I can’t tell from the writing who is male and who is female–the gender pronouns are all over the place. Is Catfish about she-males? (That pic of Antwane sure muddies the waters a bit.) Who are Nev and Max trying to set up? Some combination of Antwane, Tony, and/or Carmen?Who, exactly, is Carmen to these people, and how does she fit in this whole dealio? Sometimes, Carmen seems to be describing people, and sometimes the recapper is describing Carmen, but sometimes, the recapper or Carmen seems to be relaying descriptions of poorly identified third parties by yet other parties. Figuring all this out seems perilously close to work, which I generally avoid by filing a constant stream of slip-fall lawsuits against Targhetto.

  • Honeybee

    That is the thing that I think freaks out the victims of this show the most. The realization that they might have had cyber sex with a stranger. And in this case…being it was his Cousin and she had a very convincing “Tony Voice” either Antwane was lying or they did some seriously messed up shit.

  • Honeybee

    This was bound to happen at some point in the series. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why so many of the Catfish were willing to show their faces on TV, but then it occurred to me because they WANT to be on TV. Regardless of the reason they have an entire episode of television dedicated to them, they have the internet and twitterverse to gain notoriety. Carmen saw a chance to be on TV and took it. The production crew didn’t have to air it but they choose to because its good TV. Nev and Max were more than willing to humiliate Antwane if it made for good TV. They only got made when they were taken advantage of, I’m sorry but Nev is an ass and I don’t feel sorry for him.

    I don’t know why but for me this episode felt very “set up” in terms of Carmen and Antwane. I’m not saying that Antwane was in on it, but if it came out later that he was…I wouldn’t be surprised in the least.

  • AmberAtkins

    The thing that was weird/ gross to me about this one was I’m assuming after several years and being in love, wouldn’t chat of some sort of sexual nature take place? I mean I really really hope not, but if so….. So inappropriate on her part.

  • Chicken Lips

    I just watched this and when they were out on the ghetto tour of Cincy, I kept wondering when it was those 2 crazy outsiders were gonna get shot. When Antwane was all, “you’re just gonna buzz?” and then “He’s gonna come down with a gun” he wasn’t lying – that is in no way shape or form a good part of town. I think I got lost in that neighborhood once at night. Pretty sure I saw a drug deal and I know I saw 2 prostitutes. Scary! Nax and the gang were definitely way braver than I would have been!

    I don’t know how else to say this – Carmen sucks! She played my boys Nev and Max for fools! And seriously? I’ve been called way worse than a fat ass Kelly Price and I’ve never pulled off the elaborate 3 year prank. Now, that may just be because I can’t stay up late enough anymore to get the phone number for the chat line. I try really hard too and I lay around in my skimpy clothes and hooker heels with my phone at the ready, but I always fall asleep before the time those kinds of commercials start airing.