Hello Trashies! This week on how delusional is Ronnie Ortiz-Magro the guys inform him after he pours himself a fresh beer that that there are videos of him dancing with a half naked girl in the club on Instagram and everyone is tagging Jen in the comments.
How am I going to lie about this and make it her fault
So, Lauren explains that in the video he was twirling a blonde girl. Of course he was twirling her they were playing Spanish music.
They didn’t play Spanish music last night
Lauren explains that there isn’t any grinding going on but the girl is in a see through top so it doesn’t look good and Ronnie is like OK, well that’s not on me.
Ronnie doensn’t think that what was posted is bad at all and if she wants to take it in a bad way, that’s on her. Its not like he had her bent over Jersey turnpiking that shit. Except he did and Vinny confirms that happened. So, while maybe it didn’t make it on Instagram it did make it on MTV. Ronnie doesn’t remember that so, it probably didn’t happen, IT WAS JUST SALSA DANCING VINNY!
Porn Salsa dancing coming to a Y near you
I think Ronnie is trying to make a moment here that he was so wasted and didn’t know what was going on and Vinny is shitting all over that moment. He tries to say that Vinny was in the hot tub too and while that may be true, he pushed away the one girl who tried to fall on him. Vinny tells him that he took French Fry into the bathroom and shut the door, that isn’t a good look. You guys, Ronnie was just trying to be nice and give her a tour of the house, you know show her where his big boy poops go.
Mike is like yeah, but you did close the door.
An automatic door closer, mhmmmm this is like when I was younger and told my parents that my phone jumped out of my hands and landed in my drink. Bless the producers for replaying this segment.
The guys reason with him what his chances are of surviving the aftermath of the French Fry. Pauly says that once she answers the phone he needs to explain himself and Mike throws in that he needs to take responsibility of his actions too. Ronnie IS TRYING TO, she just isn’t picking up the phones so he CAN’T.
Vinny tells him that although she may have only seen him twirling a girl he crossed the line of impropriety with the girl at the club and the house. Eventually Jen WILL see that footage of what they all know happened.
I know that the scene behind him is supposed to be a sunset but it looks like fire and its fitting.
So, he tries her one more time and she answers but she is short with him, giving one word answers. But he is going to try this honesty thing by being the opposite of a smooth operator. He starts off by asking her what she thinks she saw or how she feels. Jen is like my head hurts, which does happen a lot when pregnant she could be nauseous or even tired. He wants to know why she didn’t pick up the 9 other times he called or Facetimes. She says she was busy, at the doctors and the gym. So, he tries a different approach, this time asking her what she thinks happened.
The guys tell him to stop ratting himself out and play it cool but the only thing cool about Ron is his guylights. Jen asks him why is trying to start shit with her and the guys cannot believe how stupid he is, Pauly compares it to Ronnie showing up to the police station with police station with blood on his hand saying…
So, Ron goes on the defense and starts accusing her of having a bad attitude.
Vinny and Pauly enjoy imaginary popcorn while watching Ronnie’s shit show of a conversation.
Ronnie tries to get her to confirm verbally that they are moving past everything and it’s not going to be a future issue. She is still like, what are you talking about?!?!?! He is like you know all the Instagram videos and shit people are sending you. The guys make a hilarious confessional video demonstrating just how stupid Ronnie is because now Jen is surely going to go Instagram to see for herself what he is talking about.
Ronnie ends the call by saying her loves her but only gets the dial tone in response. He slams the phone down saying he know how this is all going to play out. The guys try to encourage him to keep an open mind and also remind him he can’t control how she is gong to react. Then the producers play a song called Selfish by PnB Rock and I love them.
Before heading out to watch Vinny and Pauly get haircuts, Pauly updates Jenni on all the Instagram drama. Also, how much Ronnie sucks that he didn’t even bother to ask his girlfriend how her appointment went, is the baby doing well, how is she feeling? OK he didn’t that was me just being appalled that he didn’t bother to ask any of that to the woman who is carrying his baby.
As previously seen on this show, Vinny is very particular about his hair and who cuts it so is Pauly, which is why I guess this makes them the perfect couple. They arrive at a shop that must have been recommended by the producers. So, when he hears that his barber only has a year of experience he is less than thrilled.
Vinny plotting the barbers death for leaving lines in his fade
He no longer believes in God because of this atrocious haircut and is putting his head in the witness protection program until this can get fixed.
Ronnie’s over-dramatic ass is at home smoking and feeling sorry for himself because of his poor decisions. Mike has a sit down with him on the patio to give him some real talk. I know everyone loves the Vinny and Pauly bromance but I live for Ronnie and Mike’s forced friendship because the other two are so close. Master Broda Situation tells him that if you make a mistake once and move forward making an effort to not do it again that’s OK but if you continue to make the same mistake over and over again that is now a choice. To make mistakes is human and he will get through this because he has killer guylights.
Later in the evening the guys are getting ready to go out for a guys night when Deena decides to crash it simply because she knows the guys don’t want her go. As Vinny points out the night is going to end with Deena falling and crying.
Deena turning into my mother
CABS ARE HERE!
From the jump Deena is getting on their nerves from commenting on how they don’t talk in the cab on the way to the club to making them tell her she looks OK for the club.
Thankfully Ronnie is feeling better airing out the nipples and letting his chest hair follicles breath in his designer holey tshirt is just what he needed.
If this isn’t the face of a man relieved and comfortable with himself, I am not sure what is
Everyone is having fun and even Deena is doing well until
Why is there money on the floor?
Vinny and Pauly pick her up and make sure she didn’t hit her face, she says she is OK and starts to dance then boom.
After the second fall the guys are like are you sure OK and she recovers and tries to go to the bar but Vinny tries to stop her.
There can only be on messy bessy a night, right?
Somehow she gets away and is dancing on a table or pedestal when Vinny finds her and convinces her to get down she laughs at him and says he is just like Chris, her husband. But as he helps her down she loses her balance and tumbles.
Oh yeah you totally look “fine” girl
She blames her falling on Vinny and keeps screaming at him that he is the worst before storming off to the bathroom.
Looks like a great night out
As they walk to the cab she is fine again until they get in the car and she starts to cry that she needs to call her husband because she disrespected him by being sloppy.
Pauly reminds her that they made a pact NOT to call Chris late a night when she was wasted and that its not her fault meatballs have a low center of gravity. But Deena can’t be consoled because as she keeps saying IT WAS ALL VINNY’S FAULT. Meanwhile Ronnie is really proud of himself for being one day sober from strange.
Once home Pauly yells at Sammi for never wanting to go out anymore. Deena goes to bed and the guys make drunk food in the kitchen. Ronnie calls Jen again because after talking to Master Broda, he knows Jen is the one that he wants. She confirms that she is coming to see him and he is over the moon.
My eyes are red from all the tears that I have cried on my pillow, why what have you heard???
The next morning Ronnie, Pauly, Vinny and Jenni are headed out to GTL but first Vinny needs to get his hair fixed. Ronnie jokes that his hair is like a brillo pad and now I get it, people with fine hair will never understand his plight.
They both like what they see
Back at home, Ronnie checks in with Jen to get her flight information and the girls ask Ronnie about meeting his girl. You can tell that these are good friends because they specifically ask if there is anything off limits or if there is anything he wants them to ask her that he is too afraid to ask. No. So they start to ask him questions about her that are pretty simple and he doesn’t know the answers to those either. Now to be fair Ron is not the sharpest crayon in the box but its becoming more and more clear he hasn’t spent a lot of time getting to know Jen or just doesn’t care. Jenni tells him that his eyes are a dead give away that he is lying.
Pauly takes Ronnie out to lunch to have a father to soon to be father talk where Ronnie makes jokes that the only ring he will be buying Jen is chew rings. He does know he isn’t having a puppy right?!?!?! Pauly sets him straight that they are called teething rings and that no matter what happens with Jen his child will be everything. I feel like Pauly is basically a decent guy who is also 10 years older than Ronnie and putting his child first was a no brainer. Ronnie is a selfish doufus who I think likes to sell this introspective tough guys with a hear of gold for cameras and is truthfully kind of a dick.
The girls go to lunch too and discuss Jen coming and their knowledge of knowing that Ronnie cheated in some way in the house. Maybe they should write her anonymous note?!?!?! Truthfully, they don’t really know what Ronnie did with French Fry but they do know he wasn’t completely hoenst with Jen about what happened that night. Deena ponders why all of Ron’s relationship’s turn toxic and Jenni offers that maybe its him. Definitely. Nicole says that he should just be single and be a great dad.
Back at the house they prepare for dinner and Mike is going to do the shopping so he is looking for the monies.
Master Broda Situation is pissed and for a second you can see old Mike slipping back.
Pauly and Vinny feel like RealDoll Sammi is a mess over having to meet Jen so they decide to help her spruce up, no one wants to meet their exes new squeeze looking like a hot mess.
Since her eyes are wonky they give her a new head, Vinny feels she will fit right in given that other girls in the house have new faces too.
Jenni is excited to meet Jen because she is curious if Ron talk as much shit about their relationship in front of her as he does them. Ronnie looks like he passing kidney stones and breathing like James Gandolfini in the kitchen in anticipation of Jen’s arrival. There are some French Fry jokes at Ron’s expense that he acts like a little bitch about because he can dish it but can’t take it.
There is a knock at the door and the crew lines up on the stairs as if to take a prom picture to welcome Jen.
Next episode, Jen get to enjoy all the joys of being in the house and Mike makes French fry jokes. What do you all think of the new series so far? What do you think of Ronnie’s treatment of his girlfriend onscreen versus how he acts on the phone? Let me know in the comments below.
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