TRASH! TRASH! MisRed needs more Rey. Welcome my loves. We are 1/10th of the way into this season of NYC and all MisRed can say is WOW.
What we have learned so far? Carole thinks running the marathon entitles her to a Ticker Tape Parade. Tinsley can snap if pushed. Ramona is willing to undergo a personality transplant to be with Kirk. LuMan should not wear French braids. Sonja hates Ramona, called her a “loser” and a “POS.” Ramona is tired of Sonja, but isn’t quite done with her, despite the nasty text. Dorinda is mad at Sonja too. So is Tinsley. Sonja thinks Dorinda and she are at the same level of suffering- of course with Sonja having suffered *slightly* more. Carole is about to start hating Bethenny. And Bethenny just thinks they are all bat sh*t crazy.
Sonja’s bust up with Ramona is going to be her ticket OFF this show. Also wondering, does Sonja not have access to Social Media? Is computer #3 not hooked up to the Starbucks Wi-Fi? Can she not see that people think she’s crazy??
Regarding Dorinda, those that say that she should drink less… you are wrong.
Carole catches a cab, wearing, what looks like- something Kermit would wear if he was kidnapped by the Crips.
Crips… by Garanimals
Tinsley is getting her hair done and her hair dresser asks her if she’s cooking for Thanksgiving- then bursts out laughing.
The only thing you can make is reservations. Right, gurrrrrl?
Ya gotta love a bitter, condescending gay.
It takes 3 people to dump a bottle of Clorox over Tinsley’s head?
Dorinda receives something she ordered and is pissed that she has to “put it together.”
Why can’t they just make it nice?
And is upset that nothing looks like the picture! Psst: there is usually a little description too, D. Might want to check that out as well, just a thought.
Traffic is light heading into Sonja’s vagina…
Ramona goes to Sur La Table and asks to sample whatever the sample gal is hocking.
Clearly she isn’t demonstrating hair conditioner…
She says, in typical Ramona fashion “I’m really into health. Does it have too much garlic or not enough? Well I’m not going to be kissing anyone tonight, so I guess it doesn’t matter. But maybe I’ll get lucky, but I doubt it. I’m concentrating on other things.”
Ramona being very adult about sampling…
Ramones is there to buy a Cappuccino machine for Avery. Avery is out of college and Ramona never sees her. She is working “for a fabulous financial institution and I marvel every time I see her- the way she dresses for work. She’s very focused.” You know, unlike this scene with Ramones.
Do we think this is a henckel knives product placement?
Ramones called Dorinda to invite her to an event at Henri Bendel- it’s a Christmas Shopping Party. She says she has included Sonja. Ramona- Sonja can’t afford anything at Bendel. You know that. Ramones explains that she doesn’t know WTF is going on with Sonja- they used to be so close. But then Sonja blasted her via text. Ramona feels that Sonja is alienating all of the other women.
Bethenny gets a visitor at her new apartment- Sonja. Bethenny feels that Sonja is being treated like a leper and it’s upsetting. MisRed loves when Bethenny suddenly decides she’s going to try to grow some feelings, when you know that if Sonja decided she was going to start some kind of “Relief Effort” at the Puerto Rican Day Parade, Bethenny would call her a cheater brand and would have her head on a platter.
Bethenny shows Sonja around and when they get to the closet, Sonja pees a little. But “thank god I have tights on” that she will later make Pickles wach in the bidet in some brown water.
Sonja thinks that Bethenny is really putting care and love into this apartment- to make it a place where she and Bryn can move forward and make a life together – on their own. Maybe, sort of, kind of, like Sonja should have done 12 years earlier.
Sonja says she had a busy day trying “to get over the emotional weekend.” Bethenny wants to know the poop. Sonja says the girls feel she isn’t given them enough time. And Sonja says that Ramona just doesn’t have her back and she thinks Ramona is a sociopath who didn’t feel Sonja’s pain at all. Bethenny admits Ramona has a skewed perspective. Sonja says, “Even prison bitches have their one person they’re loyal to.” Bethenny doesn’t know what that means.
Bethenny says LuAnn said it best “Ramona is a horrible human being.” Bethenny says that Sonja has low-self-esteem, which seems ridiculous as nobody thinks more highly of Sonja than Sonja- but she is probably right- and Bethenny thinks Ramona is the first person to abandon Sonja when the chips are down. Well, has there ever been a time when Sonja’s chips were up? Have we ever known Sonja to have chips? Wait, didn’t she mail a bag of old chip dust to her kid at boarding school?
Bethenny says, regarding Tinsley “If Scott pays for her lifestyle, which I don’t think he does, I think she wishes he does, WHO CARES? You shouldn’t be bringing it up and you shouldn’t be counting other people’s money.”
YASSSSSSS Worry about your wallet Sonja. Don’t bother checking, it’s empty.
Sonja launches into a diatribe about Tinsley and how she tweeted about her donation to BStrong. Then shifts to how many people have stayed with her, blah, blah, blah and Tinsley made it seem like it was so horrible, blah, blah, blah. Bethenny tries to Nutshell it for Sonja. She says Sonja was upset because Tinsley stayed with her- she could have gone to a hotel, but she didn’t. Then Tinsley talked poorly of Sonja and made it out like staying at Sonja’s was like staying in the Tenth Circle of Hell and then gave her a gift certificate and Tinsley thought that would make it all better, all of the terrible things Tinsley said about Sonja would just go away.
Net/Net- Those poor people in the Hurricane, but what about Sonja’s suffering????
Bethenny tells Sonja that she talks too much and needs to focus on keeping her statements to 20 words or less because she gets off track so easily. Ok, good advice, but if MisRed recalls, wasn’t it Sonja that was planting stuff in the press about Tinsley being a TERRIBLE houseguest. Tinsley just wanted some transparent ice. Is that so much to ask?
Sonja says that she’s going to mail Tinsley the gift certificate back. Bethenny is like- No, you should use it. Sonja says that she could use it for her daughter for Xmas. Or she could buy some non-pee-soaked tights. Just a thought.
Tinsley meets Carole at Sweaty Betty, where Carole is looking at a Merino Wool workout top.
The only thing LESS appealing would be to run inside a suit made of Blue Cheese.
Yes, Wool does seem like the ideal work-out material, doesn’t it? You see so many sheep running marathons these days because their outfits are SO great for wicking.
And no one better think of making Carole share a party with ANY of these sheep!
Ok, Tinsley is now wearing French braids.
Do you smell that?
MisRed feels like this is a game of tag. Next week, John will be wearing French Braids. And then the week after that: Dennis. Tinsley always has “I smell poo” look on her face. IT’S BAMBI- TAKE THAT DOG OUTSIDE!!!
Tinsley is going to visit Scott for the weekend and she has anxiety about it. She wants to walk away from the weekend being “girlfriend / boyfriend.” Carol interviews that Tinsley loves the label boyfriend more than any other label.
Yeah… it’s a little desperate if you ask MisRed. Tins should take a breather- have some fun. Go get some Street Meat with LuAnn or have Sonja take you on the bus to PoundTown. If she is, indeed, supporting herself, why is she so fixated on this thing with Scott? Listen, MisRed gets it- everybody wants to be loved. It is natural. And most people don’t want to be alone. That’s why Jesus invented dogs.
Although MisRed isn’t sure this one came directly from Jesus. #supportstaff
But it seems like Tinsley is trying to jam a square peg into a round hole, potentially. MisRed doesn’t know that much about Scott and he seems nice enough. But if it was totally working, he would have asked Tinsley to move to Chicago. Tinsley seems a bit smothering… like that Merino Wool workout shirt. Tinsley says that Carole and Adam seem like they are back together. Then we get the Carole song and dance – of friends with benefits, they get coffee, eh. Who cares.
Bethenny is launching a line of denim. Oy.
Look! Bethenny invented PajamaJeans. #cheaterbrand
Is that real, genuine, silk screening?
Dorinda and Lu meet on Riverside – Lu is looking for a furnished apartment to rent. Ew. But ok. Lu sees a 2,000 Sq. Foot, $4.2mm apartment, which she likes but it’s too much apartment for just her.
Lu and Dorinda discuss the Hamptons and what went down between Dorinda and Sonja. Lu is like- I didn’t even know what to do. Dorinda says that Ramona “quelled” the situation because Dorinda was about to HIT Sonja. Yikes.
Violence is never the answer. Except with Dorit.
Although… MisRed does like a good strangulation sometimes. (Not to be on the receiving end, of course. She likes to be the CHOKER. Not the CHOK-EE.
Dorinda says that she and Sonja are just on completely different planes right now and that may change. But Sonja doesn’t make Dorinda feel positive. MisRed gets it. Some people can be DRAINING and, like, a complete downer- and their negativity can, like, rub off on you.
Lu says she just feels sorry for Sonja that’s why she has a sense of forgiveness with her. MisRed does understand THAT too. But at some point, people have to get a grip and do what they can to help themselves. Sonja is wallowing. She waded into the pool with her former life attached to her ankles and wonders why she’s drowning.
Dorinda, what did that Collie ever do to you?
Dorinda makes a crazy rattlesnake analogy, Sonja being the snake. Lol
It’s the day of Ramona’s Bendel event and oh, Priv pays Tinsley a visit… Is this the first Priv of the season?
Tinsley is nervous- not for the event, but because she is traveling to see Scott the following day and she’s fearful that he is going to tell her that he loves her but that this just can’t work out. Tinsley is of the mindset that if you love each other, you make it work. See MisRed’s note above. Not all pegs go into all holes, no sexual pun intended and sometimes loving someone isn’t enough.
And it’s NEW. And on Sale at Walgreens this week.
Tins asks the Priv Betch for some lotion- and the lady offers her Nivea. LOL. MisRed used to work for the company that makes Nivea- wondering how much they paid to get THAT bottle on camera. Also wondering how many first borns her friend, Hernando, had to sell to get that bottle in November when the thing wasn’t launching until January. But knowing the Sales Team over there, they probably promised customers, without checking to see if it was even possible, they could have it in September for a January launch. Ah the good old days. Also THIS was the best product placement they could come up with? Wonder which genius at MisRed’s old job came up with this?
We catch a glimpse of Tinsley’s hostage: Bambi.
Days Since Last Walk: 282
UH OH…. Late-gate NYC. Carole is meeting SOMEONE for tea. 1:35 passes, 1:45 passes, 2pm passes…. Wait, is she waiting for Dorit? Honey, leave now.
Money can’t buy you class…
Ahhh, it’s LuAnn. Carole is meeting LuAnn for tea. Hmmm. Finally, Carole calls The Countess and Lu says, “I’ll be there soon.” She then asks her driver “Driver, how long until we arrive.” Carole is like – she calls the driver “Driver?”
MisRed loves the word “soon,” as it implies a short window of time, yet, there is no real TIME associated with the word.
And not for nothing- if they had a 1:30 meeting time… Carole has to call LuAnn when Lu is already 30 minutes late???? It’s so rude and disrespectful on Lu’s part. The Countess indeed. Bitch can “count” but can’t tell time, apparently.
So rude to fall asleep whilst waiting for me… The Countess.
Lu finally shows-up in some kind of get-up that matches the wallpaper of the tea room. Carole says she asked Lu to tea because she realizes that she hasn’t spent any one-on-one time with LuAnn in a LONG time- years, in fact. And Lu says “And for no reason, really.”
Ummm, well… there was the whole time she called Carole a pedophile. And said that Carole broke up her niece’s relationship with Adam. And referred to Adam as “Sonja young.” And said that Carole and Adam were just “f*cking.” So there might be a reason or two.
Carole says she just doesn’t want to feel like there is an uncomfortable energy between them and Carole just doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. Lu says that she is “the biggest forgiver and forgetter in the world.” Carole agrees that Lu says that, but then behind Carole’s back she’s talking and calling Adam names. Lu says she doesn’t call Adam names- but Carole reminds her that she called Adam “Toy Boy.” Lu thinks that’s a cute name, while Carole calls it “pejorative.” MisRed LOVES that word, btw.
Lu’s defense, and this is hysterical, she asks Carole to respect the fact that Lu “did get married” and then didn’t even send Lu a text when she got divorced. Carole feels it would have been insincere. Lu says that Carole wants to be friends, but she isn’t the kind of friend who feels she should send a text when Lu gets divorced. Carole is like- why would I do that when YOU didn’t feel obligated to send me a text when Adam and I broke up? Lu says it’s “very tit for tat.”
Why is Lu bringing tits into this?
Carole says it isn’t and that’s her point- the phone rings both ways. This is- almost- the dumbest argument in the history of arguments.
Carole and Lu both say they want to move on. Lu just wants to live in peace. You know, until she gets arrested and threatens to kill everyone.
Ommmmmm gonna kill you all!!!
Cut to Tinsley’s hotel room and the hotel maid saying that she just needs to fluff up Tinsley’s pillows and she will be done.
Can’t Scott buy her another Rolling Rack?
Hmmm. I suppose MisRed never thought about the fact that Rocio would have to clean Tinsley’s hotel room…every day. And that Tinsley is probably IN THE ROOM when it happens. Weird.
After Rocio leaves, there is a knock at the door- it’s Scott, with a dozen roses. Tinsley falls to the floor which is not overly dramatic in the least.
Way to keep things light, Tins.
Tinsley then makes a sound only dogs can hear… she is so surprised, she hasn’t seen him in 2-1/2 months. He asks her to come back to Chicago with him then and Tinsley agrees- blowing off Ramona’s party.
Tins calls Carole to tell her the news, but Carole already knew- she plotted with Scott. Carole says she hopes that Tinsley is keeping her cool and is not showing Scott all of her cards. She is.
Tinsley tells Scott that Carole had some over weeks earlier and had given her flowers. And Tins VOWED to keep the flowers until she and Scott got back together.
This isn’t creepy. No, not at all.
She asks if she can throw the flowers away and Scott is like…. Uhhhhhhhh…. but finally says “Yes.”
Nothing makes you want to cook a meal like Shoes in your kitchen.
Later that day, Bethenny is reviewing Puerto Rico emails with one of her assistants- she is doing this rather than going to Ramona’s party. Bethenny wants to take someone with her on her next trip to Puerto Rico- but she can’t just take anyone. She says of Tinsley and Carole “It’s not eyelash and wardrobe time.” Bethenny decides she will bring Dorinda because she’s been asking about it and wants to go.
Over at Bendel, Ramona’s event is being set up. Her guests will get a nice discount and says, “Not everything has to be a charity event.” True. Ramona walks into Bendel and says “Hi. Like my handbag?” The Coordinator shows Ramona around. Bahaha. Ramona gets all Ramona on the girl- “This space isn’t big enough for 60 people. There is no décor in here. We need to get some trees in here. I’ll help you carry a tree.” The event planner is like- Hang on, they are getting more stuff.
But no- Ramona hears nothing and starts, like, tearing the store apart bringing more crap into the room that she already deemed too small for the party.
Carole arrives, and Ramona refers to Carole’s jacket as “a robe.”
And I like that loofah on your head too.
Carole advises that Tinsley is not coming- which is fine, but Tinsley should have called Ramona herself or at minimum sent a text. Carole tells Ramones the whole story about Scott surprising Tinsley and Ramona says “Oh, my heart is going pitter-patter.” LOL. MIs loves when Ramona claims to have a heart. SO CUTE.
In the limo, Tinsley calls her mother to tell her about Scott’s surprise. We find out that Tinsley, originally, had ordered a cheese plate and a glass or wine from Room Service, so she thought this was what was coming to the door. So, then the mother wants to know if Scott is coming for Xmas and what she should needlepoint on his stocking, yada yada yada
Uhhh, how hurt do those guys get when then roll out of cars going 80 mph?
Scott looks like he wants to chew his own arm off to get out of there.
Back at Bendel… Missy arrives. Yes, that Missy. The Missy who was dating Tommy D’ag when Lu got her talons into him.
The Missy with whom he continued to flirt once he DID get married. The Missy to whom Tom referred to his wedding ring as a “Dog with a Collar.”
Who wore it better? *
*You have no idea how difficult it was to find a picture of Tommy D’ag without some desperate, old, dried-up ho hanging off his arm.
LuAnn arrives, sees Missy and is like WTF? They exchange some pleasantries and Lu goes to mainline some white wine. She is no surprised that Ramona has invited Missy- Lu says Ramona obviously has no respect for her. She says she wouldn’t be surprised if Tom came strolling out of the dressing room. Come on, LuAnn. You KNOW it’s 2 for 1 Desperate Divorcee Night at The Regency…
Carole thinks this is VERY uncool of Ramona to invite her to this party and say so to Ramona. Ramona is like “Why? I’ve been friends with Missy for years. Oh? Because of LuAnn?” Carole is like- well, yeah. Ramona tries to defend herself saying that if it was just a few people she wouldn’t have invited Missy, but it’s a big party- plus, it’s not like Missy “sees” Tom anymore. Carole says- well I would HOPE not.
Lu comes over to Ramona and asks if Sonja is coming. Ramona says that she invited Sonja. They get into it a little about Sonja- and that yes, Ramona has been told a lot of things, but that she really WASN’T friends with Sonja when she was married- she was friends with Sonja BEFORE she was married and then AFTER she was married. Interesting. Ramona says that Sonja has told her a lot of information in confidence, and Ramona just wanted to respect her. Ramona says that she is super confused, and she doesn’t really know how to relate to Sonja anymore.
Sonja arrives and is very put out to have to walk up a flight of stairs “in heels.” Puhleeze. Sonja probably took the downtown bus there – it’s a very high-class way to travel, you know.
Lu says to Ramona- do you like how well Carole and I are getting along?
Ramona is like- Yeaaaaah, because there are no men! You don’t have a meeeeeaaan, and Carole doesn’t have a meeeeeaaaaan, and I don’t have a meeeeannnn, so there’s nothing around to make us crazy.”
Then we cut to Lu and Missy talking. It sure is taking Sonja a long time to get up those stairs. Carole comments that it’s nice to see them talking. Lu and Missy both say they never had a problem with each other and that “The man was the problem.” If Lu and Missy had any brains, they would partner up and like, have a Detective Agency or a hidden camera cheating show, or a cop show- like Cagney & Lacey. Lu would definitely be Lacey.
Sonja finally makes it up the stairs and someone comments on her outfit. She CLAIMS to be going to “a dinner on Park later, it’s an older crowd- you can never be too sexy… I don’t know if I’m buying or selling! Hahahahaha.” Selling. You are definitely selling.
Sonja says that after her pep talk with Bethenny, she is coming into this party clear-headed and she is going to SAY less and MEAN more… but she REALLY needs to know where Ramona stands. As Dorinda arrives, Sonja complains that she can’t eat anything because she is “juicing and doing raw.”
Sonja just came to the party to get a free meal
Why do people who juice and “do raw” feel that they need to ANNOUNCE it to every person they meet?
“Yes, well, I’m Wining and doing Tacos. Thanks for asking.”
Carole leaves as Dorinda arrives. Lu says, “I’ll let you guys catch up” and leaves Sonja and Ramona alone together.
They get into it a little right off the bat- that Ramona knows everything about Sonja. Sonja says, “I would never cheat on my husband.” Ramona is like- well I wasn’t there at the time, we weren’t friends then. Sonja says, “You didn’t need to be there, but you know me and I’ve told you.” You also told us that P-Diddy was on your yacht and we don’t believe that either. Sonja is upset that Ramona was trying to shut it down and that Dorinda accused Sonja of cheating on her husband. Ramona rationalizes that she only knows what Sonja has told her and she told her those things in confidence- plus Sonja is an adult, she can fight her own battles. This is going around in circles. Ramona says she is closer to Carole than to Sonja.
They just yell over one another, but Sonja does mention something about eating Croissants, so it sounds like Sonja really took Bethenny’s advice.
Cut to Erik Menendez hitting on Lu and Dorinda coming in and, literally, putting the kibosh on it. He had invited Lu out to dinner and Dorinda notes that he is VERY confident.
Well, yes. But I haven’t killed anyone decades…
Well Lu is just trying to set up a conjugal while she’s “on the inside.” Erik backs away… he’s like… playing chess by mail with my bald brother is more fun than this…
Ramones says to Sonja that she is worried about Sonja because she is isolating herself from everyone and soon Sonja is going to be all alone. Sonja says that it’s Ramona who is isolating Sonja. Sonja goes on and on about how nobody was feeling HER pain and Dorinda brings up her dead husband every hour on the hour and Ramona always throws Sonja under the bus. Ramona is like- I can’t do this- there is no talking to you. Ramona interviews that she is just trying to help Sonja. She is the only one who has the balls to tell Sonja the truth and she doesn’t want Sonja to alienate herself from the group.
MisRed believes Ramona. Ok, ok, wait, before you come for MisRed… hear her out. Ramona HAS known Sonja for a LONG time and I think, for the first time, the veil has been lifted a little. Ramona always just played along with all of Sonja’s bullsh*t, but Ramona is now at the point where she can’t deny that Sonja is insane. She realizes that Sonja is getting WORSE. More delusional, more disconnected from reality, more narcissistic, more selfish. Some people are beyond help. Amazingly, Sonja hasn’t hit rock bottom yet.
Ramona goes over to Lu and Dorinda and says that she just can’t defend Sonja anymore.
Sonja delivers a monologue to two women who look like they would rather be skinned alive than be filmed talking to Sonja.
Sonja says “Ok, I’m leaving with MY jewelry… I’m not buying this fake stuff, I’m leaving with my REAL stuff. The girls are over there screaming that they don’t see me enough… meanwhile they don’t care what I’m doing when they don’t see me. Like, they don’t want to listen to me about healing and vegging out…” These poor women are like…
Who is this poor, old woman? Do you think she has any good drugs on her?
Ramona then leaves her own party early. Bahahah
Lu says that Erik Menendez came to the party with Missy and Missy introduced Lu to Erik.
Bye hon, don’t forget to put that money on my commissary account… I need some ramen and a few honey buns.
Dorinda is like- boy, you really know how to forgive. She then asks if Lu has “any Italian inside of you.”
No. I’m fresh out. But let’s head over to Cipriani and see if we can get topped-up.
Next week- Bethenny show Dorinda her Puerto Rico warehouse. Sonja tries to rent out her town house and the realtor is like “Not everyone is going to like the way you’ve decorated.” Hahahahah Yup. Early American Hot Mess. Lu meets up with her daughter, who always looks like she needs a bath.
You have money dear, buy some soap. And a hairbrush.
Adam meets somebody else.
Ahhhh, well that wasn’t TOO crazy. MisRed doesn’t feel like she needs to take to her bed immediately. What is going to happen with Sonja? She really needs to wake up and smell the clogged-up toilet. Looks like Dorinda goes off the rails next week. Wouldn’t it be great if Adam hooked up with LuAnn? Wishful thinking, MisRed knows. But more importantly, what did YOU guys think? MisRed loves your comments, so keep ’em coming! xoxoxo Until next week… later betches!!!
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