Mother/Daughter Experiment Recap: We got Trouble that starts with T that rhymes with D which stands for DOUG
Hello trashies and trashas, thank you so much for taking a break from the facebook debates about meaningless things such as politics, human rights, or beyonce, and heading over here for some real shit. Aka DOUG!!
We don’t skip a beat this week by starting off with Cassie having a panic attack and being soothed by Kim and Kyle jr. Is that really the safe room you want to go in to?? That’s how bad this house is? Kim’s leather shirt seemed to confuse Cassie enough that she had to focus only on it, and breathe again. Natalie is still yelling, for some reason. Kyle Jr actually seems to be pretty practiced at trying to smooth over a scary situation, but Natalie isn’t good at situations.
Getting a pic of this outfit was almost impossible but I need to take a second for it.. A white crop top with hella cleavage, a giant fur vest, and are those pJ pants???? I’m not even hating (well,) – I just don’t understand the vibe!
We are almost done! Week 7! Am I correct that these ladies have been in this house for so long, and do therapy only once a week…? I would be drunk the whole time, too!
Natalie has a smile on her face and says in a weird hushed tone that she feels bad and everyone needs to understand that she’s a victim. Courtney agrees, in a talking head. And even though her bangs are trying to fly away from her, she somehow seems to be the most well-adjusted person in this house.
HBIC, Karen, jumps in to say “Well Kim and I were talking about how Lisa Rinna tried to kill her, and then Kim went crazy! I dunno, maybe I’m TeamLISAR!!”
Welcome to the dark side, BABY!!!
Cassie tells Natalie that she still loves her and tries to say that it’s her fault because she has anxiety… aka saving her ass from future panic attacks. Debbie send everyone but Cassie out of the room for individual therapy to begin. While nAtalie and Kyle jr do their fake apology/makeup. Cassie and Shar have a nice session and it’s boring.
Time for the real drama!!! Doug is coming!! And he brought CUPCAKE! The ladies all have him sit down and ask him how the hell this all happened. He told the weird story about how they started out asking about favorite colors and are now getting married. Also 16 year old Courtney was being courted by thousands of wealthy men and Sheiks in the middle east. What. Here are pictures of the ladies reacting.
Debbie comes to get Doug for therapy and this man is stalling like never before. He talks about how Cupcake might have to pee until Debbie handcuffs him to her blazer and drags him into the therapy room. As anyone could have suspected, not much gets through, but it is fun to watch. Krista says Doug did something, Doug says he didn’t, and that Krista is a pathological liar. I believe that. Krista’s face is struggling to decide on one emotion to convey. Debbie doesn’t really do anything and decides this is a good place to end for today. Courtney is yelling to Doug that “This is such an issue!” and he doesn’t dare uncross his legs or change his tone.
Krista walks out of her therapy session where she was being harassed (deservedly so), to be harassed by all of the other ladies (deservedly so).
Courtney lays on the floor with the human personification of a Bratz doll, Natalie. Natalie says ‘I feel like you’re in like, a really hard place”. Profound.
Now we watch some filler therapy that is Heidi and her mom. I don’t even know her name. Heidi starts immediately crying and Debbie is proud of her.
Here we are almost done with the episode, waiting for the hallway drama. Let’s all go swimming and cut loose! Maybe even drink a little, something new! Everyone is strutting around in their bikinis, except for Josie, the one actual model.
Heidi, Josie, and Natalie go into the bathroom together and are goofing around, doing nothing wrong. HBIC gets super pissed with her pizza slice that they won’t OPEN UP THE GOD DAMN DOOR. Natalie and Heidi are just drunk and sitting in the bathtub together, not a crime, and Karen angrily makes her bed and reveals a NECK TATTOO?!!!!!
bad girl, bad mom
This has to be one of the weirdest and funniest fights on the show so far. HBIC is a little rabid dog growling that she needs to wash her face and Natalie obviously flips the fuck out and starts yelling at her. Karen, you’ve known Natalie for 30 years. You have to know this is going to set her off. It would set most people off.
Observation: All of these ladies look fairly reality well done, some surgery, hair extensions, they have some money. Then there’s Karen, who just looks like some bitch that is friends with your grandma. And she starts all the shit. I love it.
Alright, everyone. One episode left! If I can make it through this disaster, Kim Richards probably can’t. See you next week, let’s find out together. Love you all.