Life Size 2 is Coming! – People
My least favorite insane model, Tyra, is starring in a sequel to her 2000 movie about a doll that came to life. At the risk of her coming alive into my own home to scream about how she was rooting for me and I’ve let her down by assuming that she is too old to play a Barbie, what is happening at Freeform? A “grown up” doll movie on one night and teenagers murdering half a town and lying about it on every other night. Fast Forward!
Kardashians Try to Experience Emotion- Faces Reveal Nothing – Us Weekly
The Kaaaaardaaaaashiaaaaaans are super pissed (not that facial expressions with be allowed by the family plastic surgeon) that Caitlyn Jenner is writing a tell-all book. The family standard for tell-all books is rambling nonsense, not descriptions of Kris Jenner pimping out her children and Robert Kardashian Senior definitely knowing his bestie was big old murder and yet still around his kids. Personally, I will read anything that makes Kris mad.
Serena Williams is Pregnant! – Washington Post
20 weeks, according to her Snapchat. That means that she won her last Gram Slam when she was 10 weeks pregnant. Her fetus is a tennis champion and she is a goddess. I, meanwhile, am calling in “too sleepy” on housework for the day. My future fetuses are out of luck.
Will Smith to Play Genie in Aladdin – The Guardian
Will Smith is in talks to play the role of Robin Williams in the next Disney reboot, Aladdin. Will Smith has not been in a good movie in a decade, so I disapprove. I think he should step back for a few years and return when they make I-Robot 2.
Fox News Loses 200 Lbs – New York Times
Fox News has finally fired Bill O’Reilly after his rampant harassment claims became too much. I assume that he either: A. Became too expensive to continue to employ and defend, or B. Hit on the female company attorney and made her an offer that it turns out the whole company could refuse. Bye, bye, dummy.
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