I hope all of you TARashies had a nice holiday week/weekend. We have some new nicknames, courtesy of our very own Jimbob Jones: DeezNuts for douchnozzle Shamir & Sara, and MissMath (not MissMatch) for Vanck & Ashton. Thanks! And how about SOlive for SethOlive? Team America makes me think of the (hilarious) puppet movie and I start singing “America, Fuck Yeah”.
Previously, teams raced through São Paulo, Brazil and Beard won the leg, Shamir threw a testicular-related temper tantrum and punched the window he was supposed to be washing, and the Swole Sisters were Philiminated.
Beard departs at 8:47AM and notes the $320 leg allowance and a double blind U-turn ahead. MissMath and TheBoys are minutes behind. SOlive know they’re a threat and expect to be U-turned. The Goofballs geek out about Tanzania while LGGS are just trying to get along. Everyone talks U-turn strategy en route to the airport a we hear the various “not here to make friends” chatter. I believe it is Sara who provides the title quote, talking about wanting to do bucket list stuff on the race and was hoping for a better partner to experience it with. #FreeSara.
LoLo and Mom & Dad are last to leave but everyone’s on the same flight to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, on Africa’s east coast. Their next clue will be at the Askari Monument, which honors WWI African soldiers. The clue will be buried in the newspaper as an ad for the ferry service and is fairly easy to spot with the red and yellow border. No one struggles and everyone is on the same ferry, though they make a point to show us TheBoys skipping the line (I think unintentionally) to get their tickets first. Ashton makes sure others know how Matt & Redmond went back on their word them in leg 2. TheBoys acknowledge this is not good for a U-turn leg.
Teams are in taxis and the streets of Tanzania look dangerous for driving. Mom & Dad are first to the U-turn board, with MissMath seconds behind. They U-turn SOlive and DeezNuts, respectively. Now both of those teams have to complete both detours. On the beach is the Detour: Build it or weave it. Build it has teams assembling wooden bench/desk sets, delivering them to the local school, and sitting in on a quick Swahili lesson.
Phil tells us there are a million plastic bags used around the world every minute (wow, we suck). Weave requires teams to weave 2 satchels out of coconut leaves to replace the now-banned plastic bags. Both detours are a sailboat ride to the Tanzanian archipelago of Zanzibar and on the way TheBoys ask Mom & Dad if they U-turned SOlive and our parents unconvincingly lie. But TheBoys know it was MissMath who U-turned them and chase them down the beach vowing revenge.
Most teams choose to build but LoLo choose weaving since London is a professional crocheter. TheBoys decide to complete the weave detour first, and the satchel/bags look intricate and don’t come with instructions. But they get to witness this:
The singing Butterfly shimmies up the tree to get the palm leaves
Build also doesn’t provide instructions, just limited parts and some had slots and pieces obviously meant to fit in with others. Mike comes from a long line of carpenters so he knows how to build but Shamir has his sister build his Ikea stuff so he’s useless, especially after baby gets a splinter. I like that they had to figure this out on their own and there were actual skills required.
SOlive are 8th to arrive to the U-turn board and decide to build first. LoLo switch detours since they’re not getting the proper weave. Crochet Artist London claims she got nervous. I hope her crochet circle never lets her heard the end of this.
They’re having no problem
Teams build, Brooke bitches, and Becca is glad her tram is positive. LGGS isn’t getting much screen time this leg. Beard misses a peg allowing SOlive to finish first and head to the school. Beard then drops a piece of their desk en route to the school and get a little snippy with each other. I guess they fixed it there on the road. SOlive have to learn 4 Swahili phrases then go to weave.
After completing the detour, teams take taxis to the Darajani Market. Mom&Dad and Beard are first to arrive and Bostonian Joey asks “who’s ready to do some maaahket research?” Since there is a lack of refrigeration, meals are purchased fresh daily at the market. In this Roadblock: What’s for Dinner? a team member will shop for specific groceries and deliver them to a family chef.
You make it halal
Dad Joey and bearded Mike will perform the roadblock. Mike is a butcher and recognizes most of the items on the list (he’s really proving himself this leg). He will be purchasing the ingredients with his leg money and I get excited b/c I like when their leg money comes into play. It’s rare nowadays. And no, I didn’t like teams begging but I do like the aspect of having to budget for each leg. Joey does not recognize anything on the list and is not happy about having to get a live chicken.
Local kids check out the Giant Ginger Beard
LoLo finishes building, which is impressive considering they switched, followed by the Goofballs, and TheBoys, who started after everyone else! This leaves DeezNuts behind and someone is cranky.
Luckily for them SOlive is still weaving and starting to stress. At the market Vanck gets smart and has some locals grab the stuff for him. He bargains his guy down a buck while Joey bitches about the cost of his items. London, Brooke and Floyd decide to shop together and are splitting up, using their money to buy 3 bunches of each ingredient instead of buying just what they need. It comes into play later and everyone feels they’re being screwed using American currency.
Africa’s Piggly Wiggly
DeezNuts has finished building and SOlive has finished weaving as it becomes apparent these 2 teams are last. DeezNuts almost drop the bench.
But at least his junk has ample room
Joey finishes shopping first but his chicken still has its head attached (not halal) so he is turned away. Mike knows all about the situation and he and Liz are first to head (heh) to the PitStop: Emerson on Hurumzi, one of the many rooftop decks Zanzibar is famous for.
Matt is also asking the locals to get his ingredients. Vanck knows about the halal but is no longer running around like a chicken with his… oh, never mind. He’s chilling as he waits for his guys to get back with his last item. DeezNuts took a pricey taxi to the market and might not have enough money to shop.
Beard checks in and they are excited to be the winners of a trip to Amsterdam (I’ve been and it’s beautiful – it has more canals than Venice).
Uh oh, DeezNuts have run out of money. Brooke asks the vendors she purchase from for some money back, claiming to have been overcharged. After an initial hellztotheno a local man convinces his brother to give Sara some of her money back. SOlive only has $20 but still has Brazilian bills. Olive ends has a little trouble when the vendors decide post-sale they don’t want her Brazilian currency and follow her out of the market but she manages to get them to go away. She mentioned the Brazilian bills were worth more than she owed them, so there’s that at least. They have nothing left for a cab, though neither did DeezNuts but they asked for a free ride.
Goofball makes friends with their taxi driver
Not making friends are MissMath and TheBoys, who point out they arrived at the mat only 2 minutes behind MissMath after doing both detours. Next leg they better watch out. Shade is thrown by Redmond and Ashton. I must say it is impressive they finished the leg so quickly.
Vanck is caught in the crossfire
Goofballs check in and all is hunky dory until they realize they lost their passports. They were 5th to the mat but now have to go back and find their passports. They call their friendly taxi driver who has it (yay)! But some trust is lost for Becca and she showed a bit of a mean side. She will be the passport holder from now on. And the fun meter is so low it has come off her shirt. SOlive are last to arrive and are Philiminated. I wish it had been DeezNuts for not having enough money.
The Fun Meter was off the chart until the Passports went missing
Order to the mat:
2: Mom & Dad
Philiminated: SOlive (sniff)
SOlive didn’t get a lot of screentime so we didn’t really get to know them. I thought/hoped they would have pulled it out in the end. I wasn’t aware they were allowed to use previous leg’s money. I figured they turned it into production. Also, do you still only get to use one U-turn per race? And were LGGS even on this leg? Sound off in the comments below and thanks for reading!
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us on Facebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get the occasional gif on Tumblr!