The housewives are back in Atlanta and ready to disseminate all of their cultural learnings throughout their communities. Or not.
Ace continues to be the best thing about this show. He’s nearly Todd’s height and he’s learning his animals. Momma Joyce stops by and Kandi tells her about the trip. When she says Porsha left early Momma Joyce defends her and says that Porsha messed up but it was because of Phaedra the Phinstigator. Kandi says that Porsha isn’t that dumb; there goes Kandi…always underestimating America’s favorite convict.
Kandi says that she needs to own what she did but I’m over here like, Porsha doesn’t even own her McMansion so… Joyce says that at the very least she would tell the other women to stop holding the situation over her head. Geez, Kandi must have decreased Momma Joyce’s allowance because she is playing no games with her second born pension plan.
Porsha and Lauren have lunch. She says that though she had to leave she somewhat made up with NeNe. She’s going to take NeNe’s apology advice to do a one woman a capella version of One Republic’s Apologize to the group but she’d prefer to tell them to kiss her ass and then “trollop” away. Most of her trolloping begins with her ass so it’s totes apropos.
Kim goes to Sheree’s house and for once she doesn’t have Kroy waiting for her or a Solo cup in hand. Looks like someone read How to Make Friends and Stop Alienating Black People. Sheree is aware that Kim’s change in routine may cause her to spontaneously melt into puddles of Chardonnay and silicone so she immediately pulls out Solo cups from which to drink their wine.
Meanwhile, NeNe calls a family meeting with Brentt and Gregg to explain her side of the roach situation. Brielle sent Brentt a text asking if he was home and she took his affirmative answer to mean that she should stop by and humiliate his mother. Gregg is annoyed that neither Kim nor Brielle were really invited and they spilled wine on his very favorite shag rug.
Back at Sheree’s, Kim is mad that they’re being called racist. They prefer the term “supremacist”. Sheree says that it seems like she kept the footage intentionally. Kim doesn’t really deny it and instead says that NeNe was a stripper, Gregg was married with five kids when they met and she thinks NeNe is on something. First, this is old news. Second, what does this have to do with roaches? And third, anyone else notice that Sheree had a black cup? Is this separate but unequal?
Anyway, Sheree says that kids are off limits. The only issue is she should exert her authority as a mother and put her “kid” in her place. Otherwise, she’s an adult in the eyes of the law and reality TV. Back at NeNe’s, she asks Brentt if he thinks it’s funny. He says no but it seems like he really doesn’t think it’s a big deal. He also seems to know that if he laughs, he’ll be sleeping in the basement with Gregg. You know she hasn’t allowed him upstairs since he cleaned up that wine with her throw pillow a few weeks ago.
The Bailey Agency is really struggling so Cynthia is Uber-ing Will to the airport. I assume that’s the reason she’s doing this because nothing else makes sense. The guy has a movie theater in his house, #neverforget, but he can’t pay for three days of airport parking? On the way there, she talks to Marlo about NeNe’s latest controversy. If you recall, NeNe got in trouble a few months ago for telling an audience member at her stand up comedy show that she hoped her Uber driver raped her. Apparently the crowd prefers Lyft. They’re worried and agree to go check on her.
She finally gets to Will and Cynthia actually gets out as he puts his stuff inside. You can not tell me that this lady isn’t moonlighting and looking for five star reviews on her profile. Also, you know she’s one of those drivers that has sixteen of those tree air fresheners strategically placed cuz…she stinks. They have an awkward greeting with another Cynthia kissing fail. She leans in and he totally ducks her cuz…you know. Will says he would’ve broken up with her after the incident with Eva but then he remembered they weren’t even dating. Umm, awkward. Also, I know in my heart that Cynthia spotted him a fifty for traveling money. He’s a user.
Kandi and Sheree meet. Kandi tells her that NeNe is off the tour because of the comments. Her group members and promoters didn’t want any negativity associated with the show so they dropped her. Sheree must be using her downtime to watch Perry Mason because she’s grilling Kandi on why she isn’t madder about the comments. Kandi was hoping it would blow over but she’s failing to see how she’s minimizing one rape comment when hers fueled the last two seasons. Points to Sheree for pulling this off, but minus points because I know someone fed her those lines. Then she backs Kandi into a corner regarding the Kim/Brielle/NeNe issue. Kandi ultimately agrees to meet with Kim for lunch. She also wants to look that face head on and see if there are any original parts left.
Marlo and Cynthia go to NeNe’ s house to check on her. NeNe explains that a person in the crowd told her to kill herself and she responded with the Uber driver rape comment. This is why stand up comedy isn’t for everyone. She wishes she’d said something different.
She also wishes she’d taken that “Crying on Cue” class.
Kandi meets with Kim who shows up hours late. Kroy drops her off and she’s already telling him that she may be quick. Kandi asks about Kroy constantly dropping her off places. Kim says that it’s so she can drink but Kandi says she used to always drink. Kandi says it always feels like an excuse to leave and Kim constantly references Kroy when they’re all together. Kim doesn’t understand why it matters who transports her. Who wouldn’t want to drive Kim around? Between her lips and boobs you’ve got, like, six airbags in the car.
Kandi gives her the example of the Elephant Party when she kept texting Kroy. Kim resorts to saying most of the women are jealous of her. Kim starts to curse and Kandi tells her not to be tardy for alternate street parking and suggests she leave.
Kandi’s voice is doing that shaky murder thing but the waiter comes over just in time and these greedy heifers start ordering food. They start to talk about their kids and other small talk. Then Kim brings up the NeNe rape comment. Kandi says she didn’t kick NeNe off of the tour and Kim says it’s sick that that comment would even come into her head. Kandi doesn’t want to entertain this but she does tell her that some of her comments, and roach videos, can come across as racist or ignorant because she’s the only marshmallow in the hot chocolate. Ultimately they agree that they’d probably still be cool if they never did business together. They’d be cool but we’d still be listening to Kim howl along with an eighty year old piano teacher. Thank goodness for Kandi’s production abilities, friendship be damned.
Next week, Kenya is back with her PSA and her husband. Sheree fantasizes about a striped wedding dress and tells her daughter all about her fantasy felon nuptials. What’d you think? Love you for reading and commenting!
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