ONTD – Amanda Seyfried Has Broken her Mother’s Heart
Big eyed, tiny mouthed Amanda Seyfried eloped on Sunday with her now husband Thomas Sadoski, her dog, and a teeeeeny tiny baby in utero. Far be it from me to judge another woman’s nuptial decisions, but I’d personally prefer to be not pregnant (and thus lit) for my wedding, but hey tomato tomahto. Oh. And I’d also maybe wait a few weeks (instead of hours) for the ink on my fiance’s divorce to dry, but when you know ya know I guess. Right, Lu?
Jezebel – Tyrant Banks is Out for Blood
Tyra Banks Fan Club President Tyra Banks is on a roll, folks. As we reported on Monday, she scored the lukewarmly coveted America’s Got Talent gig, and now she’s out for blood. Look at her, chomp-chompin her way through Hollywood, gobblin’ up all the deals. In her insatiable lust for hosting gigs, she’s also managed to snatch back her precious America’s Next Top Model from Rita Oro as well, proving that America’s Tyra Has Got America’s Next Top Tyra. Welcome to the United States of Tyra!
Us – Sacre Bleu Eetz a Bebe
It may be St. Patrick’s Day, but Hollywood is living la vie en rose today as Marion Cotillard and longtime partner Guillaume Canet welcomed their second child to ze wuhld. Hon hon hon. Quel surprise. C’est genial. We can’t wait to meet you, Little Croissantwich Arc de Triomphe Cotillard!
Just Jared – Please Donate to My “Feed Emma Watson” Kickstarter
Bookish British girl Emma Watson made an initial $3 million for her role in Holy Fuck It’s A Disney Remake 2017, but if the film does well (which, ca’mmon), she could stand to make upwards of $15 million. So, there’s that. Good for Emma Watson and her piles and piles of money. Oh, to be 26 and beautiful and filthy fucking rich.
E! – Cathy Finally Found Something Green
Last year, the cul-de-sac’s most glamorous couple Bill and Cathy had to go to some stupid St. Patrick’s Day thing for Bill’s government job and Cath was totally peeved because she had NOTHING GREEN TO WEAR. “What woman wears green anyway?” she snarled to her sister over the phone, balancing her toddler on her hip as she wiped cupcake batter off her face, desperate to finish the cupcakes in time for Little George’s bake sale. Well, this year, she prepared. This year, she went to Nordstrom Rack on March 3rd, where she was sure she’d find some green ass coat – something no one probably wanted anyway – on sale. And would you believe it? There it was. Right next to some dusty old cocktail hat and a pair of green pumps that she’ll never wear again. But fuck it, she sighed. She collected the whole lot up in her arms, marched over to the register, and paid the £250 just to be festive for Bill. Just to be a good, sporting wife. And doggone it, it paid off. Doesn’t Cathy look smart?
Love the broach, honey!
Hope you get lucky this weekend, Trashies! 🍀
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