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I write RHOBH recaps and record Audiobook versions of the blog. I also co-host the podcasts Watch What Crappens, Rose Pricks Bachelor Roast, and Big Brother Smother. Find me on Twitter and Instagram, or get all my links at RonnieKaram.com.
  • distressed

    They put up a couple of new clips at Bravo. One of them “what’s the meanest tweet you’ve ever gotten?” Total sympathy question for the mean girls. Kyle’s answer was a real tear jerker.
    I don’t know if I’m even watching the reunion in real time. I can always DVR the second broadcast and now that the Watch What Crappens Podcast is moved to Wednesday, I have plenty of time to watch the reunion on Tuesday night. Suck it Bravo.

  • TN Gal

    Except for Lisa, watching these bitches makes me want to soak in the tub with a box of wine and a handful of Little Debbie cakes. If I had to choose between the BH twats and the VPR idiots, I’ll take the idiots. At least the Idiots are entertaining to watch.

  • AmyOops

    On the off chance anyone is still monitoring this string…is it my imagination our are the snippets of reunion previews Bravo has been showing kinda short on Lisa drama and long on Yoyce and Brandi, etc?

    I wonder if they’re being smart and leaving out of the previews shit we don’t really see, ie Lisa being trashed.

  • distressed

    I’ll certainly drink to that!

  • AmyOops

    I second that!

  • monchichi

    i’m not attracted to older men as a rule, but a couple weeks ago when ken said “who wouldn’t love lisa? she’s the perfect woman.” i fell a little bit in love and i’ve been loving him ever since.

    speaking of old men, did anyone else see yolanda’s old man on dr phil playing a song or something for some woman whose husband told her she wasn’t pretty enough? i only saw the tail end and it was kinda wtf?

  • distressed

    I agree, they’re totally skewing the comments on the blogs. If you look at the comments though, the positive ones have 10 or 20 likes and the “off with your head, leave the show, leave the planet, I’m not watching again until your dead basically” comments are in the hundreds of likes. On Yolanda’s blog which looks the most heavily censored the negative comments are 400 or 600 likes.
    But, they did it to themselves. Yolanda especially in the finale accusing Ken of abusive behavior and Joyce wrote this week that she was appalled Yolanda would go to such length to “assassinate” someone’s character like that.

  • Clare s

    I would make up a special limoncello drinking game for a Yoli bashing season and drink only the stupid master cleanse to celebrate the take down of that bitch! I would be a skinny hung over mess but oh sooo happy!

  • AmyOops

    Well, if that’s going to be the case Bravo lost another viewer for three more eps. I’ll at least “try” to watch.

    If next season turns into another Lisa bashing season I’m done. I can’t take another one. How about a Yoli bashing season? I would watch every episode live with a drink in my hand!

  • AmyOops

    Excellent points, especially about Twitch, oh and Kyle’s “opening” dress. WTH? Why would she CHOOSE to wear a gown with a bodice so…clunky, she looks like a Snausage rolled in rhinestones?

  • Clare s

    Ugh not the famous bully card!? I thought it might be because oh so fragile Kim couldn’t handle all of the negative comments. It looks like they tried to even out the comments and post more supportive comments on the evil trifecta’s blogs and more negative ones on Lisa’s. I hope Andy and Bravo are getting tons of tweets asking for those 3 morons to be kicked off.

  • distressed

    I think you’re right, obviously. And that must mean that they’re trying to keep Brandi on the show.
    It’s been a complete and total error this year because the Brandi hate seems to have gone from Brandi to Yolanda and even Kim. Kyle is a special case, she had her haters way before this season started, my opinion only.
    The blogs have been made safe for democracy so to speak in this final push, but I have seen so many comments calling for not just Brandi to be removed but also Yolanda and Kim to be kicked off the show with her.
    What we’re seeing is the opposite of the Jill vs. Bethenny scenario. There, it was the evil queen, Jill and Lisa, against the underdog, Bethenny and Brandi.
    What a colossal blunder on Bravo’s part. So many commenters are posting that they’re not even watching anymore and looking at the finale’s rating they didn’t even crack 2 million. Wow.


  • Classy Drunk

    I believe they thought this would play out differently. Now that Bravo is hearing more and more people ask for Brandi to be put off the show they are trying to tone it down. Look at how many times they show Brandi saying she loves Lisa and wants them to reconcile.

  • distressed

    Looks like the party is over at the Bravo blogs. They’re completely shutting it down over there and not posting comments at all. Sad. If someone complained about bullying I guarantee you it was Yolanda. Also on Bravo. They cut the “checkmate bitch” scene from the finale. That’s the third scene they have broadcast in the trailer and then “decided” not to air in the series itself. Scumbags.

    Where there’s smoke:

    So that makes three scenes now.
    The blackmail scene with Yolanda and Brandi (1:48) where Yolanda asks Brandi ” do you seriously think she is blackmailing Mauricio and Kyle?” Though Lisa’s name is not mentioned I think it has to be her. The Mo scene immediately following that one at the beach in PR.
    And now the next to last scene of the trailer is gone where Brandi says to Lisa at the finale party, “I know you’re the chess player of all time, but I just f’king checkmated you, bitch.”
    Is Bravo trying to salvage Brandi’s reputation? It’s marginal for sure, but why would those three scenes disappear into a memory hole like this? They already decided to include them in the trailer. What happened?

  • distressed

    OC trailer is out. Cheers.

  • distressed

    I thought she was the star of the show season one until she got in the limo and destroyed herself in the finale, then game night when she permanently buried herself.
    I’ve read that she might have a financial interest in the production company for the show, not Bravo but the other company that produces and sells the show to Bravo. If Kim is asked back next season then I might give that internet rumor a lot of credence. There is no way that any professional TV producer would want that kind of a cast member year after insufferable year on their show. But again the suicide of one of the husbands, taylor getting her face flattened, two divorces and the surrogacy snafu were just bumps in the road so “standards” these producers ain’t got.
    And what is up with her gown this year? Has anyone noticed that it’s about 10 inches too long. Big no no in formal attire, and she sells clothes for a living. Get it together bitch.

  • distressed

    If I have to hear her say she “doesn’t hold a grudge” or “wants to move forward” one more time i am going to hurt someone.

  • distressed

    I agree, I want Lisa to shut it the f down, “I am not the one” style, but she won’t. Reading her blog this week she basically says that she knows were the bodies are buried and will let the dead RIP. Too bad.

  • distressed

    That was nice to see. Both Fritz and Mauricio posted a tweet in defense of ken. Mo didn’t tweet Lisa just KenTodd. I will be so f’king happy when I don’t have to go to 10 social media outlets to figure out what the hell just happened.
    And Yolanda’s problem is not Lyme disease, it can’t be because it’s selective. And it can’t be menopause either though she’s at the rightish age for that, that would be distributed more evenly over various cast members. This repressed rage is Lisa specific.

  • Clare s

    Lol, totally agree with everything you. Part of me would love to see Lisa go absolutely ape shit crazy on these nutty women but I think Lisa has learned the calmer she is the more they start spinning their wheels and the worse they look.

  • Clare s

    Fritz dissed Yolanda on twitter today.

  • AmyOops

    I’ve barely begun reading, but I wanted to point out that I wish someone would give Bravo a head’s up…DO NOT have half of your season filled with numbskulls no one particularly gives a shit about plotting to attack and humiliate the “favorite” housewife. DUH.

    I haven’t watched much of the final episodes because I’m not a fan of watching the petty jealous hags gang up on the only likable castmember.

    Oh, and why is Kyle still in the middle of the cast intro with them all holding “insert object that goes with city here”? I’ve watched from the beginning. Has she EVER been the favorite?

  • RonnieK

    Thanks! To make sure we have fresh RHONY stuff, we are now recording on weds so the show should be up weds night!

  • Does Kim hire people to walk her?

    It’s such a laugh that she accuses Lisa, a popular and gracious hostess, of having no friends. Kim has only brought one outside acquaintance to the show — a man who beat her. Whenever she’s out she’s with her crackpot sister, or someone and their husband or date. I’d drink, too.

  • simonee91

    When will you do your podcast? Dying to hear it. This recap is hysterical…but love your podcasts!

  • I know you mean FF as fast forward but I’m playing a new game where every time you type it I read fake face. It’s really fun and just makes this hysterical recap even more hysterical. Turkey necks!

  • stinkyhousewives

    Kyle is that friend who, no matter what you say or do, is never happy with what you say or do. Lisa should of dumped her ass seasons ago, with the rest of this whiney pathetic lot of bitches.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    I especially liked the part about Yolanda ‘shivering and shaking’ (like a wet chihuahua) after the evil Ken ATTACKED her. Joyce’s husband Fritz even gave her his jacket as all the ladies clucked around her.

  • Honeybee

    See this is what I was thinking! WTH is the epic takedown?? I sort of see Kyle’s irritation at Lisa’s motives, but at the same time they have never recovered from the initial fallout. The whole issue of the tabloids is just ridiculous. Personally I think Kyle had an issue because I think there was perhaps a shred of truth to the story with Mari (I do recall Camille Grammer making a few digs her season reg. his wandering pecker). But it’s the tabloids just ignore them.

    As far as Brandi is concerned, is she such a raging alcoholic that her brain is wet? No sane person would ever go to Shakespearean lengths to get revenge on someone else for something so petty. It’s like she sees the world according to Lisa as a giant rube goldberg machine.

    Brandi is claiming that Lisa purposefully hired Sheena, went on a reality TV Show, fought with her live-in house guest, befriended the friend of a woman that hated her (Adrianne Maloof) all to get back a Kyle for something that happened years before. She used Brandi so her hands wouldn’t be dirty. Am I understanding that right?

    Who has that kind of time to scheme for anything? I am just dumbfounded that someone like Lisa who legitimately has developing businesses (even if she only spends a few hours a week there), two tv shows filming, a active marriage, active relationship with her children, filming DWTS, and her philanthropy…would go though all that trouble just to be a mean girl. Really??

    I can see that she might be a bitch or she might talk shit behind their backs, but a Machivialin mastermind the likes of a Heisenberg I don’t think so. They were hoping that Lisa would have lashed out and lost her cool, but she didn’t. She remained calm and collected and just let them talk and say what they wanted and then she said “screw you guys I’m going home to my mega mansion. See ya suck town! Vanderpump out!”

  • RonnieK

    Thanks so much distressed and all of you. It’s always like Xmas waking up to nice comments, especially after this season. We all deserve combat pay. We have a new hilarious recapper or RHONY. I will be doing survivor vids and possibly some bravo vids.

  • LynnB

    I can no longer watch this show because of Kyle, Kim, Yolanda and Brandi so I am grateful for the recaps that are by far the funniest thing I read every week. I only pray that these women read this also so they can see how the world sees their fake asses. I won’t watch the reunion because screaming at my tv set makes my husband laugh too much but I know Ronnie will bring it home with his recap! Andy Cohen…Open your eyes!

  • BuddyChrist

    Ronnie you are the king of recaps. This is another home run. I can’t wait for Brandi to finally get taken down at the reunion. What a piece of work. She is famous because Lisa took a shine to her and she throws it away. She truly has mental health issues apart from being a self centered, ignorant, paranoid witch.

  • Clare s

    I am still waiting for the big reveal of Evil Lisa!?? These women bashed Lisa in the tabloids and on talk shows for the last 6 months telling us just wait and watch you will see Lisa makes Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot look like small fluffy kittens! Well I still don’t see it. All I see is Yolanda, Brandi, Kyle and the dim wit Kim act like spoilt 3rd graders. Yolanda for fucks sake can’t even write a coherent blog, in one paragraph she writes that she hashed things out with Lisa and then in the next paragraph she’s whining that Lisa wouldn’t stay to discuss being a “Hollywood friend”! Ugh! I agree with Distressed when you read Joyce’s blog; Yo comes off even worse. I don’t even have words to describe that moron Brandi but I will try. I think Brandi attached her wagon to Lisa and hoped by appearing with Sheanna that Brandi would be a regular on VPR when that didn’t happen she turned on Lisa. I also think Brandi is hoping for a spin off for either herself or Yo, so she is now best buddies with Yolanda.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    Ken is my all-time favorite Fishwife. Yolanda scolded Ken for interrupting “girls” talk but it was okay for her to Faye Resnick herself in while Morrie and Ken were having their little heart-to-heart? Go find a dyke to stick your finger in, you Teutonic Twunt.

    And I’m sure King David “You don’t speak, you don’t sing” Foster would never, never, ever call his wife’s Hollywood friends stupid. “My lave” knows better because his wife told him they were all clowns.

    Yolanda said in the last blog she actually wrote — last episode she was too busy to write because her mansion was filled with “houseguest” — that if Ken hadn’t called her stupid at the dinner in PR, she was going to say she never saw the magazine incident. Okay, well why didn’t she mention it at this party?

    My favorite line from this blog: “Well, she stood up for her before she finished Yolanda’s sentence about there being smoke where there’s Kim, matches and a small baggie filled with crystals.”

    Kyle whining about the tabloid just is too much. It’s okay for Kyle to hijack the self-deprecating joke Lisa made about the tabloid saying that she’d made a sex tape, repeat it ad infinitum and punctuate it by braying like a jackass each time she badly retold it? Give me a break.

  • distressed

    It’s tragic. She looked completely fresh and pretty at the beginning of the season, but I think she got some serious discount “treatments” to go along with her new moving on up life.
    I don’t think the party for CoC at all. There seemed to be quite a few random Bravo plants there.

  • distressed

    I agree and the sparkly little pink shoes were also perfection. They also arrived in a grimy Bravo limo and departed in a Bentley. Take that trashy bitches!

  • Classy Drunk

    You can say what you want about Lisa, but she looked amazing in that dress at the part.

  • Brandi looks like she was left damp at the bottom of the hamper. The booze is definitely catching up with her. And what do she and Kim have to do with the Beverly Hills chamber of commerce?

  • distressed

    Wow many good points here. On the sex tape story. That’s the joke that Kyle has been telling all season about “it was three quarters of a nipple darling.” Carlton’s disgust at Kyle for telling that story at the cocktail party makes a lot more sense in that light. Carlton must have seen the story herself around the time they began shooting.
    As far as off the rails Yolanda and Ken. Try reading Joyce’s blog. Her account of what was not shown that night is insane. A lot of people sided with Yolanda’s assertions that he basically assaulted her because why would she lie about something like that. And they left immediately afterwards, so they weren’t there to defend themselves against this scum bag.
    Andy finally asked Brandi why she had the magazines in the first place on WWHL. She is a subscriber, so she automatically gets it in the mail.
    The reunion will be a blood bath. Yolanda tweeted that day that “the truth was[sic] prevailed” and she alludes to the fact that she got Lisa to admit something again in this week’s blog. So it won’t be pretty, expect a very dissatisfying end to a more than dissatisfying season.

  • tvsnarkeling

    Thank you for having a great recap up so quickly. I wish you had a video of Kyle walking into the party. There is no grace in that girl; she walks like she got off a horse. Good Lord!! No wonder she wears long dresses.

    What is with these women b*tching about how Lisa done them wrong. Yoyo – Did not visit her enough while sick. Kyle – Did not call her soon enough when the story broke about her husband. Brandi – Lisa makes her say and do bad things (did Flip Wilson do this act “The devil made me do it”) and she still employees Sheana Kim – Did not come to her daughter’s party (even though they RSVP and sent a gift). Is Lisa their psuedo mother that must keep track of all their lives?? I can see why Lisa is exhausted with their complaints. They are friends that keep count and therefore not friends but “accountant friends” with no concern about her life activities only what Lisa will do for them and should telepathically know what to do.

    As for the other two, I thought Carlton would do more fighting this season. She seemed to have strong opinions but never brought it. Like last night, when Brandi asked it Lisa told her what to say, Carlton should have been all over her with that insult and take her down. And Joyce, she needs to have her own thoughts and own it during shooting and not jump on the bandwagon as she did in PR when everyone was hating on Lisa. She could have made great progress going after Brandi in PR. She is too easliy swayed and changing her opinion in the bolgs is a little too late.

    I am not sure if I will watch next season. If Lisa quits I am definitly out. I can not stand to watch Brandi another season. It is not my form of entertainment. She is the Tamara from the OC and because of her I will not continue to watch RHOC.

  • hottempered242

    This story line with the magazine doesn’t make sense. What is worse is that I re-watched all of the episodes talking about it and Lisa never once changed her story (at least they didn’t show it). So the crew either loves Lisa and is intentionally making the other girls (who are saying that she is not answering the question, or changing her story) look like liars, or they are liars because the Lisa answered the question and kept her story consistent.

    Also, did Kyle ever call Lisa about the sex tape scandal? Probably not because it is just to weird to be true (or at least I hope it is! I don’t want to see any of these ladies naked again). If I was in Lisa’s position and I saw that story about Kyle, I would see it as a joke, and wouldn’t “show my support” because the story is fake. Do you call your friend to reassure them of all the things you know they didn’t do? Not unless someone brings it up at a dinner and makes it clear others are taking it seriously (at least for me).

    Kim’s entitlement issues are so bad that I can’t watch her anymore. Last episode I felt really sad that Kim’s daughter was telling Kim to take care of herself instead of the other way around. I am pretty sure that girl had to grow up way to fast with her mother’s alcoholism. It is sad to see, but even worse because I don’t think Kim even realizes that a daughter going to college shouldn’t be the one telling her mom to take better care of herself… 🙁

    It will be interesting to see what Joyce is like at the reunion because she seems to be siding with the girls on the show but her blogs are definitely calling the hens out. Carlton actually looks good this episode, mostly because she stood up to Brandy trying to shut her up about not seeing the magazine. I do not think Carlton would say that and alienate Brandy (who has been her BFF on the show) if it wasn’t true. Especially because at the time it sure looked like Lisa’s side was not the winning one. Now, though, she is definitely looking good (which is the first time this season that this has happened so I am shocked!).

    I am still interested in why Brandi had the magazines in the first place. She never answers Lisa when Lisa asks her that (talk about not answering the question). It is obvious that Kyle only wants a story with Lisa in it or else she would be talking about how: she thought Brandi and her were starting to be friends, but then Brandi buys THE MAGAZINE and shows it to her friends! HOW COULD SHE DO THIS?!??!

    Finally, I am not sure why Yolanda is trying to piss off Ken. Lisa (like all of us) loves drama and will play the game with you (like she has with Kyle all these seasons) and will forgive you a lot of things for the sake of the show. Any time Ken has gotten mad at someone, he has never forgiven them. You can say many things about Lisa, but loyal to her husband is definitely one of them, so if Ken is not your friend anymore, I don’t know how Lisa will ever be. Yolanda has seriously burned some bridges with this stunt. We will see if Kyle’s husband can not fix the damage he has caused in their friendship or if Ken is going to have one less friend.

    I am expecting some serious back-tracking in the reunion, but I am hoping for Yolanda, Kyle, Kim, and Brandi to just run with it. That way the reunion is entertaining and it will cement (I pray!!) them getting kicked off the show. But I guess with Muhammad’s fiance coming on the show, Yolanda has to stay to try and turn the fiance against Lisa. But please kick off
    the other three, Bravo!

  • Agatha

    Ahhhhhh I had to stop at the Kyle texts… I am literally dying here at work. That is pretty much EXACTLY how I imagine Splits’ mind works!

    You kill me, so hilarious Ronnie! And I love your loyalty to Lisa — she is better than all these fools!

  • distressed

    Magnificent, a worthy recap for an unworthy season. There’s so much here I can’t even begin to quote you back, but the Twitch stuff is my favorite. You are at your very best Ronnie. Thank you again for making this motley array of slut pigs, dirty pigs, a queen and Lisa watchable.
    Are you doing the NY Girls? Please say yes, we need you. Will be listening for the WWCrappens podcast at its new time Wednesday.