Babs Clones Her Dog – CBS News
Vanderpump family, eat your hearts out. Barbara Streisand has cloned her dearly departed canine, Samantha. Babs, ever the diamond-encrusted-microphone-wielding frugal Franny, cloned Samantha just twice and claims the third new puppy is a “distant cousin.” Translation: the scientists pocketed her hundred thou and found three pound puppies that sort of look like Samantha. Oh Barbara, never stop running out of rich lady things to do with your money.
Old Dude Made a Peen Joke – Rolling Stone
Keith Richards made a joke about Mick Jagger needing a vasectomy after 73-year-old Jagger became a father again. Keith is now super sorry and regrets his suggestion that Jagger cannot be a father crawling after babies at his advanced age. What he meant to say is Jagger would never be a father at any age and both of their junks definitely still work at full capacity. Got it, ladies?
Bobby Brown Believes Whitney Houston Died of a Broken Heart (Translation: Bobby Brown is a Moron)- People
Bobby Brown, internationally-renowned doctor, believes that ex-wife Whitney Houston died of a broken heart. Sure. Because a body-sized amount of cocaine, Xanax, Benadryl, and alcohol certainly doesn’t mend a heart. Too soon? The person interviewing him then picked himself off the floor and reminded Bobby that Whitney had a mess-load of drugs in her system. Bobby conceded this point, but confirmed that the drugs could not have caused her death because she clearly died of being broken-hearted. Can we get a wrap on Bobby?/How is he the family member who is still with us?
Slow News Day/Hot Tip: Divorced Woman in Public Without Her Wedding Ring on Her Finger – Us Weekly
Jennifer Aniston went to her friends house with her wedding ring on because SHE IS GETTING DIVORCED. Now the real news will come when someone correctly guesses the first publication that will declare that SURPRISE, Jen is Pregnant!!!
It Takes Pregnancy for Eva Longoria to be “Just Like US” – People
Eva is halfway through her second pregnancy, while in her 40s, her second-trimester body looks like the dream body of much of America, and she is finally in the attire of the commoners: leggings. I don’t know if her poolside preggo pics make me want to get to the gym and aspire to be back in a pant with a zipper or just lean in and eat a pint of chocolate on chocolate. But until then, I will share one thing with Eva: LEGGINGS.
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