Hi, Trashies. I’m super happy this episode is only an hour this week. Life is crazy busy at the moment and, more importantly, I’m super sick of Nick’s BS and I don’t need two hours of it right now.
We open up with Nick and Andi’s
totally not staged conversation. Nick says that the last time Andi knocked on his door, she dumped him. I guess we’re just going to ignore her book where she talks about the two of them hanging out after she and Josh broke up. The whole conversation is just some advice and Andi basically saying, “Remember that time you shamed me on live TV for sleeping with you? How’s it feel now, ass hole?”
Nope. Nothing awkward here.
It’s a good thing thing that we finally got to see some closure to a relationship that most of us have long since stopped caring about, so let’s move on to the rose ceremony. You remember rose ceremonies, right? The ladies staying are:
Gee. I wonder who Nick will choose between Vanessa and Corinne…
Corinne just starts sobbing, but I’m not sure she actually sheds any tears. She keeps asking Nick what she did wrong, but there’s obviously no answer to that past “I just want someone else.” No one is surprised by this. In the real world, Corinne and Nick probably would have had a really fun fling, but there was just no long-term potential for the two of them. In the limo, Corinne goes on a rant about never sucking up to a guy again.
And then she falls asleep.
After that, it’s off to Finland, and Nick can’t think of a more magical place to fall in love! Sorry, Finland. You’re only magical, not perfect. So, Raven gets the first date. They just look at Finland via helicopter. As they’re flying, Raven tells us that she’s never told a man she loves him. Uh…wasn’t she with her ex for like two years? Who stays with someone for that long without saying “I love you”? More importantly, why did her ex stick around for that long if she never said it? Raven and her ex aren’t very good at relationships, I guess.
After the helicopter ride, the two just go to a bar and play some darts and talk about Raven’s hometown date. It’s really a boring date.
This is the most interesting part.
As the date goes on, Raven seems really drunk. She tells Nick that she’s only had sex with one person (her cheating ex), oh, and he only ever told her that he loved her when he was drunk. Really? This conversation couldn’t have waited until they were actually in the fantasy suite and not on camera? Anyway, Raven feels more for Nick than she ever did for her ex and she says “I love you”…like she did a few weeks ago, so this is super anticlimactic.
So, with that, the fantasy suite date card arrives, Raven reiterates that she’s only ever been with one person and then drops the bomb on Nick that she’s never had an orgasm before. Again, this couldn’t have waited until they were actually completely alone? Also, I can’t stop laughing at the fact that Nick tells us that he might not sleep with any of the women. Yep. Nick Viall said that.
And the episode ends with Nick and Raven making out on a bed.
Sorry that was so short, Trashies. As you can see, there wasn’t a lot to work with. Next week is three hours worth of show (the rest of this episode followed by “The Women Tell All”). Let’s hear your guesses about which of the filler ladies that no one cares about will talk entirely too much!
Until next week, Trashies.
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