Welcome back! This recap is also available as an audiobook podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play. They’re free the week they’re released and then go to the premium feed. Find it at podbean. Thanks for the support!! xoxoxo – Ronnie
Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Eileen tried to get comfortable having emotions about her leaky stool and pink eye, Rinna forgot her own name, and Kyle, worried that words would send her drunk sister into a relapse, repeated all the words that would send her into a relapse. Smooth moves by all.
We open at Kyle’s house. She’s paying some poor Task Rabbit to organize her garage. There are VHS tapes of all the movies Kyle was never cast in plus lots of the boxes they had to remove before they stole Kim’s house. She was worried to look through those, but it turns out there’s just lots of empty baggies, some old twizzlers and skeletons of small undefinable animals with dusty name tags that say “Emilio”.
Kyle calls Vanderpump to tell her about a party she’s having tonight. Carnie Wilson is coming over to make desserts for a tasting and to warn us all about the dangers of lap band surgery. Poor thing had pudding coming out of her ears during that sad time. Vanderpump is like “I’m hanging up if you talk about chewed up croissants leaking from Carnie’s nose again, dahling.”
Kyle met Carnie on the set of CELEBRITY APPRENTICE which Kyle was on because she’s a CELEBRITEEEEH. Vanderpump waits for a punchline, but there is none. Instead, she asks if Kyle’s gonna make Rinna come so they can all shade her about her alleged eating disorder over a table of desserts that a chunky person made. Yes, Rinna is coming. And so are Eden’s journey and Twitch. Vanderpump tries to come up with an excuse not to show, but Eileen’s already used up pink eye and diarrhea so instead she says “Hold please” and puts Kyle on mute.
Eileen is getting Vinny ready to give Erika Jayne some acting lessons. The soap has cast Erika J but they’re not sure as what yet. They cast people then write stories around them. “I have all the possible scenarios ready to go. There’s a hooker with a heart of gold that’s obsessed with my character, the first female President who’s obsessed with my character, and a baglady spy who’s obsessed with my character.” Vinnie just looks at her like “I combed my hair for this?” and mutters “You’re SO nice. Is our Glade Plugin out of juice again? It still smells like…”
Eileen launches into a monologue on her feelings about her upset stomach while Vinnie looks around for something to take away the smell. Ding dong! It’s Erika Jayne, who’s taken the family plane, then the helicopter then the bus line from her Pasadena Prison to go over made up scenes. Vinny smiles and welcomes her while mouthing “PLEASE GET ME OUTTA HERE”. Eileen hugs her and shows off her new sunhat rack in the kitchen before getting down to business.
“I know you’re new to acting, so here are some tips.” Erika puts her ankles behind her head and starts to sing the Star Spangled Banner with her puss. Eileen stops her. “No, dear, you don’t have to work for tips here. I give them away for free.” Erika stands up, kinda embarrassed. She opens her change purse. “No. Tips aren’t money here. I’m teaching you AAAAACTING!”
Honey, you’re teaching a hot chick married to a ninety year old about acting? She may not have been on a soap opera before, but she knows how to act. She arrived on her own bus line, for crying out. It’s the ho Oscar. She’s already won a golden bald man. “Here’s how to hold an invisible phone.”
This scene was shot for all the people out there who wonder why Eileen is never cast in anything that airs after eleven AM. Erika makes her hand into the “hang ten” sign and puts it up to her ear. “Hello? I’m on a do not call list. I don’t give a fuuuuuuuuck.” Eileen and Vinny beam proudly. “How do I hang this thing up?”
Vinnie applauds her brilliance and asks her if he can manage her. Erika scrunches up her face. “It smells like someone vomited up a dead person in here.”
Lorena is burying a bag of flour in the garage, so Rinna has no one to shoot with. She flips through her phone. “Hello, Harry Hamlin! How’s it going at Space Camp?” That Harry. Always learning stuff. He launches into a story about the dried ice cream, but she stops him. “That’s great brilliant amazing light of my life and America. I’m calling cuz the girls are trying to make me eat dessert and fight with Kim Richards, who may or may not be dead by the time I arrive.”
Harry warns her to be cautious. He’s met Carnie Wilson and knows that she sticks her fingers in everything she cooks. “Ecoli is easier to get than the CDC would lead you to believe, honey. I learned that in Guam when I was studying how to put baboon hearts into limping babies and I took a bite out of what I thought was a ham sandwich.”
Rinna tells us “I think I figured it out! I swear to God I don’t remember saying anything, but I also don’t think Eden would lie so I must have said things!” She was just mad at Kim after Game Night and when she saw Eden the next day she was in a blind rage. Some people shoot up malls when they get that way. Rinna spits out lots of words about who is close to death. To each his own, I guess.
Harry is sure that whatever it is Rinna said but can’t remember, it can’t be too bad. “You’ve only been trying to help Kim all this time!” Rinna laughs like a seal being skinned alive. “I don’t think anyone else sees it like that, baby!” Rinna’s glad she didn’t let her emotions get so out of control that someone got hurt. Last time she was that angry was when a goat came into her yard and started accusing Harry Hamlin of stuff. It’s now just a skeleton head on her coffee table. She has no memory of any of it.
She decides that whether or not she can remember saying Twitch is a smidge away from death and Kyle is an enabler, she’ll OWN IT! This should work out well. I hope she remembers to do it.
Lisa Vanderpump and Ken are checking out more real estate. This time, they’re getting a giant space to use as a dog rescue center. It can double as a crash pad for DJ James Kennedy on the nights he needs to escape the fat old man studio he’s crashing in so that he doesn’t get poor person all over the new couch they just bought Max.
The plan is to ship in dogs from the pound daily so they can play and rich people can come in and possibly adopt them, and they can sell some of their doggie lingerie line at the same time. Lisa explains to the really bored and kinda grossed out real estate guy that she’s all about stopping China from torturing dogs, and all she needs to do is to get Trump on her side. Well, you’ve definitely got the rack for it.
She tells us about her congressional hearings, where she told the politicians about the dog torture at the Yulin festival. “In Hong Kong, we intercepted a truck that was leading dogs to slaughter!” She didn’t have guns or bombs, so she manipulated the drivers into letting the dogs run into the streets and then got upset that they refused to publicly blame Kyle for it.
There was a video shown as she spoke to Congress, but she didn’t turn around to watch it. Ken did, though, and he starts crying at the memory. “It was fucking awful!” She paces nervously, not really sure what to do with tears. “Face the public out that window, dahling. I can’t look at you like this. Maybe the people on the street will worry for you and call Congress.”
“Someone should put that old dog down.”
“Shhhh! They have sensitive hearing!”
Lisa looks around the giant retail space and bites her lip. Is this a bit much? “I don’t want to become a crazy person.” Ken reminds her that she is, already, a crazy person. She shrugs and grabs the contract for him to sign. You guys shoulda brought reading glasses. He could be signing for a shipment of meat grinders for all he knows.
Yes, the dogs of this rescue might have to occasionally be put down, too, but at least they’ll go in a tux that matches whatever Ken’s wearing out that night. Lisa is pissed that she’s crying too, now, so she shows her tears the exit.
You’re fired, tears. LEAVE TEARS.
Kyle’s getting ready for her party. When she comes into the kitchen to see how things are going, Carnie yells “We were just talking about cheeeeesecaaaakes!” Kyle knew. She felt it in her soul. She tries to figure out how the girls will divide one of the tiny samples so she can keep the rest.
Carnie was an addict, so Kyle wants her to meet Kim. It’s like when someone tells me “I know a gay person in Wichita! You guys should meet you’d LOVE EACH OTHER!” It’s gonna take more than a fondness for booze, Kyle. Now if Carnie likes dogs that mangle old ladies or claims to be in films she wasn’t or steals jars of mayonnaise from Eden’s mom’s fridge? That’s a friendship that could last forever.
Kyle asks Carnie drunk people questions. “Can you walk in a straight line? Can you say the alphabet backwards? LOOK INTO THIS FLASHLIGHT.” Carnie, used to this crap, smiles and nods too hard. “So Carnie, were you ever like sober then not sober then sober again?” Hell no. That’s called not being sober. Carnie was drunk and then eating cheesecake. It’s called healing. The Golden Girls were goddamn doctors. They never got enough credit.
Erika’s picking up Rinna in a limo, and she’s pissed that Rinna got a hostess gift to make Erika look cheap. No, girl. Your outfit beat her to it.
Rinna says that the big white striped bunny is for Kim’s baby. An olive branch for calling her a smidge near death. Unfortunately for Rinna, there’s an old slang term: “Chasing the White Rabbit” that means a person’s doing a shit ton of drugs and chasing the bunny in Alice in Wonderland. So glad you’re having a baby, hon, too bad you’re a smidge away from falling down the rabbit hole. Good luck!
“I need my teflon duster, honey!” Erika’s all “Uh-ohhhhh” in that “Don Rickles found out I went over my allowance to buy socks with sticky bottoms” voice she gets whenever Rinna speaks. “So I have to tell you this, cuz you’re the one who came into my room in Mexico telling me to own it baby! I was thinking to myself, wow. Where would Eden come up with all this stuff that I said but don’t remember saying? Was she lying? I don’t think so! I mean she’s Eden Sassoon! Having ass in her last name doesn’t make her a liar, just a, well, an ass. I mean, if it was Eden LIEssoon or LIEden SassLIE or FIBden SassLIE….”
Erika snaps her fingers. “Focus, bitch.”
Rinna does. “Right. My point is, I did yoga and deep breathing and put myself back into that little boutique with Eden and asked myself “What would Lisa Rinna do? And Lisa Rinna would say ‘Kim’s a smidge away from death and Kyle is the guest bartender on Watch What Happens (to Kim) Live.”
Erika just stares at her. “Soooooo….”
Rinna: I said it all. Every last word. I confess, baby!
Erika: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. You’re gonna get fucked up tonight.
She cackles and Rinna can’t help but laugh. “Fuck you!”
Twitch has arrived at Kyle’s with a sponsor! Not a life coach or a paid yesman, but an actual sponsor. So proud! Kyle thinks she’s trying to use the chick as some kind of proof of sobriety to the other ladies, and also as a security blanket. Not sure if this woman is going to shield poor Twitch from accusers or if Kyle is referring to the actual blanket the sponsor is wearing as an outfit.
Hey great to meet you finally! We both know cocaine.
Right. How’s she doing?
I hear she’s still amazing.
We should all get lunch.
For like thirty hours!
Have you met cheesecake?
Met him? MARRIED HIM.
You go, girl.
Kyle introduces Kim to Carnie. “She’s from Wilson Phillips!” Kim hugs her excitedly. “I love you Wilson! You were such a good friend to Tom Cruise on that deserted island!” The sponsor is supportive, but not knowledgeable enough to tell Kim that Wilson was a volleyball in the Tom Hanks film Cast Away. Carnie just smiles and hugs. Kyle jumps in. “Carnie’s been sober for twelve years!”
Kim looks at her with confusion.
Carnie says that she stopped using twelve years ago but then gained forty pounds from eating. “It’s better than being dead!” Kim looks at her like “No it’s not.”
The girls have started arriving at Kyle’s “Refocus Your Addiction Onto Cheesecake” party. Eileen tells Kyle how much she loves caviar. “The little thingies with the sour cream and the thingies. Have I mentioned how much I love caviar? I’m trying to be more open about my emotions. Is there a bathroom near? I’m feeling a little leak coming on. My feelings have been expressing themselves with loose stools and I’m so glad you’re open to listenin…” Kyle cuts her off. “Do you think Rinna said all that stuff about Kim? I do cuz she’s said it all to me before.”
Eileen: Well my feelings…
Kyle: I’ll cut that bitch. Cut. Her. Didn’t Kim seem sober at the party? Why is Rinna saying she’s drunk?
Eileen: The way I feel…
Kyle walks away as Eileen clenches her butt cheeks and looks around for someone to hear out her feelings.
Outside, Carnie’s talking to Kim about Kim’s favorite subject: sobriety! “Aren’t you glad you’re sober enough to have a grandbaby?” Twitch twitches. “Yeah, a year ago I wouldn’dna been sure if I could get indo a car ad any dime of nide!” Because Kim was a responsible drunk that didn’t drive her rented jag to the Polo Lounge where she was arrested in the bathroom.
The sponsor is all “Woah I never thought of it like that!” How much are they paying Blanket? I want that job. Carnie leers over Kim with a tiny cheesecake. “Eat it! You’ll feel better. EEEEAAAT IIIIITTTTT!”
Vanderpump enters with her broken ho of the moment, Eden Sassoon Pilates Instructor. Eden tries to give Kyle a really hard hug, but Kyle escapes it and moves away quickly. Eden gives her the “SHE GAVE ME NOTHING” look and pouts off to see where that rancid smell is coming from as Eileen stands in the corner, green faced.
Outside, Carnie is still congratulating Kim on not being drunk. Vanderpump comes out to give Twitch a baby gift. “It’s for your grand child, dahling.” Twitch puts on her crazy English old hobo accent. “I didn’t know if it exiiiiisteeeed!” Vanderpump just looks at her, amused. Sober or not, Twitch is a mushy headed treasure.
Eden comes out to get something, anything, from the other guests. Carnie extends her sticky hand. Eden reminds her that they’ve already met. “When we were looking at baby clothes.” Carnie doesn’t remember. What were these two weirdos doing at a baby store? And were they both drunk? Rinna’s blackouts are spreading like bird flu. I’m fascinated by Carnie Wilson now and hope she becomes a regular, if only to see her drunk in baby stores bingeing on cheesecakes and then forgetting all about it.
Eden sits across from Twitch, who looks like she just heard Franzia is closing its doors for good. Carnie senses the tension and licks her hands. Twitch tells Carnie that she’s gotten rid of all the negative people in her life. “All of em!” She means Eden, of course, but Eden’s now focused on why Carnie can’t remember her. “Don’t you remember trying on diapers? It was a bright spot in this journey I call the #SassLife and I wish you could treasure it with me.”
Carnie is too scared to move, so she starts eating a napkin.
Eden’s still sitting there, but all Kyle sees are potatoes. She comes over to grab one. Eden says “You’re eating a potato? I love that you love potatoes.” LOL. Kyle ignores her and makes “HIT THIS BITCH” faces at Twitch.
Twitch tells us that Eden Sassoon Pilates Instructor makes her skin crawl. “For her to repeat Lisa Rinna’s LIES! It’s icky and horrible! Us sober ladies are subbosed da livt each other ub! Nod dare each other downz!” When did she tear you down? She offered you her help. She did it in a public and gross way, and she is creepy there’s no doubt about that, but no one tore you down, Twitch. Being sober five minutes doesn’t give you the moral authority in every single situation.
Inside, Vanderpump and Dorit eat caviar. Dorit teases that it’s the most expensive thing Vanderpump’s ever had in her mouth. “Dahling, I’ve had way more expensive loads.” A trickle of vomit comes down Eileen’s chin as she runs to the bathroom again. Rinna enters. Vanderpump laughs “Now I need a drink more than evah!” Rinna laughs like she just discovered Benny Hill. “That wasn’t very nice!”
Vanderpump walks over to fuck with her. “So you brought a baby gift. Trying to be niiiiice?” Rinna laughs and laughs and laughs. “Babies are very special!” Vanderpump growls “I know. I brought a present too,” and finishes with a look that says “and gave it to her before you. Good luck.” Rinna tries to keep her good natured face on and laugh it off, but Vanderpump is having too much fun. “That’s a good start, dahling. Off you go! She’s sitting there waiting for you to arrive! Don’t forget to take a drink with you!” HAHAHAH
Rinna goes outside and greets Kim. “Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi everyone! Hi! It’s me! KIIIIIM! Kim Richards! How aaaaaare you? I’m so proud of you for getting pregnant with a grandbaby! Here’s a white bunny to chase until you find your dreams!” Kim twitches and takes the bunny. “Uhhhhh…thangs?”
Carnie bites into one of the ears to see if it’s chocolate. Twitch tells us “Liza Rinnaz iz a fake! She zayz I’m near death and Kah’s a enablenzayblehr or whuddever thad is. Then she givez me a rabbid?” She sighs. Look at the bright side. She didn’t throw a glass at your face or try to strangle your turkey neck!
Kyle gathers the girls. “Girls, thanks for coming. I wanted to have this party to enable my good friend Carnie on her food addiction path. Enjoy!” Carnie takes over, plugging her desserts. “I wanna tell my friends, you can eat! You don’t have to starve yourself! Just have a bite!” You gotta love the heavy lady giving the anorexic bitches diet advice. Oh Carnie. Never change. Everyone stares at her awkwardly as she shoves another cheesecake down, as if they all sense that this might be the wrong person to help Twitch with anything.
Inside, Eileen is wiping her mouth and spraying Febreeze around the living room. She tells Rinna they should pull Eden aside. Poor thing has been shitting out so many feelings she’s missed a lot of plot. Rinna takes her aside. “Eileen, baby, I did some past life regressions this weekend and Shirley MacLaine showed up in a muumuu and told me that Warren Beatty told her as a snail in the forties that I said all those things about Kim Richards.”
Eileen lets one rip. “Oh no.”
Rinna: “I know, baby! Did snails even talk in the forties? I don’t know what to think! But I guess I said every last word! I confess! I own it! I’m guilty! Guilty of loving Kim Twitchards in the first degree BABY!”
Eileen pops a Tums and shakes her head. She tells us that Rinna may be Rinna, but she’s a good person and the good outweighs the bad. And besides. She owns it! “Rinna, I’m proud of you. Now, about my emotions. I just want to cry and open my heart to y…” Kyle interrupts. “What’s going on? What are you guys talking about? Why is Eileen sitting on my white couch when she’s still shitting up Mexico?”
Rinna, like she’s got to tell Kyle that Forever 21 has offically banned her from upmarking their jewelry and selling it as her own, says “Ooooooohhhhhh, Kyle. Come here. I have some bad news.”
Before she can confess for a third time, Carnie Wilson comes in with crazy eyes. “Guys! I’m literally serving cheesecake right now!” Glad you’re not figuratively serving cheesecake right now, cuz the emotions are already high. She makes them all go outside. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!
The ladies are all on the patio starting at tiny cheesecakes and looking around for a spit bucket like they’re at a wine tasting. Carnie brings Rinna, Eileen and Kyle out, which starts an awkward stare war between Kim and Rinna. Rinna looks at that cheesecake like “OH HELL NO BABY.” To avoid having one shoved in her mouth by Carnie, she claps her hands. “Kim! Kim Richards! Hi! Hi! Hi! It’s me, Lisa Rinna from television’s Melrose Place. Can I say something to you in front of all these food hoarding women?”
Kim twitches. “Yeah I’d appreshatezedez that, Liza Rinnaz.”
Everyone quiets down and stares at Eileen with grossed out faces. “Sorry. My emotions.”
As they fan the air, Rinna starts. “You’ve probably heard some things. That there are four different kinds of aliens, that pizza stores in Washington are selling children, that 9/11 was an inside job…”
Twitch just stares at her.
“Well, the truth is, after talking to Harry Hamlin while he practiced open heart surgery in space on a kangaroo, I’ve decided that I told the terrorists in the World Trade Center that you were drunkenly selling babies to aliens. THERE! Give me my receipt cuz I officially OWN IT BABY!”
Kyle’s face is shocked. She never knew Harry Hamlin was into learning surgery. Could he uncross her eyes? Her dreams are interrupted by Kim’s slur yelling. “You told Eden all that ztuffz! Thad’s ungalled fer! Then yer lige ‘zorriez!’” Rinna nods like a televangelist. “Yes, yes. I know. I know. And I can see now by the way your head is twitching that you’re totally fine and not near death. Unless someone was trying to shoot an apple off your head cuz you can’t keep it still. The thing is, me and Eden, we both lost sisters to this horrible disease and we got scared. I felt safe talking to Eden…”
Vanderpump snaps “Of course you felt safe talking to someone else about it. I’d feel safe too maligning…”
Rinna: I didn’t malign!
Vanderpump squeaks out an impersonation of Rinna. “I forgot! I forgot! Wait! I remember! I remember!” Rinna is correct when she says that Vanderpump is enjoying this all a little too much, but it’s fucking hilarious and I’m glad she is. Rinna tells Kim “You were provoking me!”
Kim is shocked. SHOCKED I tell you! Dorit asks in thirteen accents “How was she provoken’ ya?” Rinna laughs. “Weren’t you there?”
Dorit looks to Vanderpump for answers, but she’s all alone in this. She says “I don’t rememba what she did …!”
Rinna: See! I’m not the only one!
Twitch crooks her finger at Rinna. “Zee? Thad’s nod nize either! Ya don’d underztand thad ya zay stuvv lige that and id affegds mah vamily! My kidz! Mah grandbehbeh! My car even ran outta gaz, RINNA! WHY YOU DO THAD DO MAH GAR! Hey Rinna, loog ad thad ladee over there wearin’ a blanget. She’z mah sponzor!”
Rinna’s like “Hello lady in a blanket. Have you heard of dusters? Let me sponsor YOU for a change.”
Blanket’s totally won over. I’m surprised she’s not sitting on Rinna’s lap. Vanderpump butts in. “But you contested her sobrieteh!” It’s not a traffic ticket, Vanderpump.
Rinna says that Kim was being rude at Game Night and “That’s not how sober people act.” Kim’s like “How do you know? Are you a sober lady?” Rinna’s like “Hell no gross.” Twitch continues “And YOU Eden! You’re subbosed ta be zober too and yer mean!”
Kyle agrees. She slams Eden for saying she’s in recovery and then going around slamming Kim. Eden squeals “I told Lisa!” Kyle’s botox veins are popping out of her temples. Vanderpump softens, since now it’s about repeating gossip and she’s guilty of that part. “Well, dahling, she was just trying to help.” Kyle snaps at her to shut up and stay in her lane. LOL. Vanderpump does, waiting for it to fall back to Rinna.
Rinna nods. “So shouldn’t we let go and move on? Let’s see what your sponsor, the soon to be owner of a free Lisa Rinna duster, thinks. Blanket? What color would you like your duster to be?” Blanket is confused now. She spouts that healing is good and it’s important to let go of resentment. Kim looks like she doesn’t know who to punch.
Rinna continues: “See? I want to really love you!” Kyle snaps “Not everyone has to love each other. Just stop saying stupid things!” Eden comes back into the fight. “She was only saying that Kim wasn’t acting sober and she was worried!”
Kyle points her crooked Witchards finger at Eden like she’s about to call her a slut pig. “What if you were the one that people were saying wasn’t sober? How would you feel?” Eden, calmly, says that she doesn’t care what they say because her sobriety journey isn’t about the roadmap others plan out for her. Kyle looks like she’s about to drown this spiritual Waze in the pool.
Carnie notices Eileen.
Eden says that everyone was talking about Kim and it’s her responsibility as a lady in recovery to try to help. This infuriates Kim. “By the way! Me and Kyle aren’t you and your dead sister!” Damn, Kim. Quit while you’re ahead. Rinna shakes her head. “Have some compassion, sober Kim Richards who’s not near death!” Kyle tells Lisa to shut up because Eden is the one who compared the two sisterhoods and it’s not cool to pretend Kim doesn’t have compassion, as if what Kim said wasn’t a total dick move. Almost like Kyle is making excuses for Kim’s shitty behavior. I forget what they call that…
Kim’s twitching mad again. Rinna says “She lost a sister to drug abuse! You can’t see how she would compare the situations?” Kim shouts “I CAN’D!” Now everyone’s wrong. They sit there for a minute trying to decide what to do next.
Carnie takes the moment to plug her dessert line. “When I make a mistake, I eat cheesecake. Anyone try the raspberry? Look. I confront the issues and say sorry then eat. Otherwise, I’m drunk. Which would be amazing. I mean drinking was really an escape. What fun times. God let’s stroll down memory lane together. One time Chyna was a bitch to me so I got really wasted and peed on her front lawn in the middle of the night. God I miss those days.”
Kim is still furious and glaring at Rinna, so Rinna whips out last year’s big guns. “But that stuff you said about Harry Hamlin…” Twitch shakes. “I only said ‘let’s talk about him!’”
Rinna explains that it really hurt Harry cuz for months after that aired, people would come up to him in the streets asking what he’d done. “I already zed zorry, Liza Rinnaz!” For that thing you didn’t ever even do.
Rinna nods. “I can see now that it’s true. I accept your apology, Kim Richards. Thank you.”
Erika cackles and applauds slowly. “Great!” Then she mutters to Eden “I’m gonna be an alcoholic by the time this is over” and downs her glass of wine. Erika’s killing it this episode.
Carnie tells Kim that since both Rinna and Eden lost sisters to addiction, they get defensive when they meet and addict and it’s normal for them, just like it’s normal that Carnie, Twitch and Eden are all fucking looney toons and need to drink. “We drink because we’re nuts, and we have to deal with being nuts when we’re sober.” I really like this Carnie chick, even if she’s peddling cheesecake addiction to these lost souls.
Kim looks at Blanket, who agrees and tells Kim that it’s ok if she can’t forgive just yet but that it’s important that she eventually does. Twitch says “There are timez in my life that I thoughd I waz near death, and I wanted to die! And now ahm gone stig ub fer mahzelf! There gums a dime when it juzz haz ta end!” Everyone looks at her with half hearted applause in their eyes, not sure whether she means her life needs to end or this fight.
Rinna nods emphatically. “It does need to end, Kim Richards lady who just admitted to often being near death. Can we just end it right here? I’m legit sorry and from this moment on I mean it?”
Kim is silent. This ending in reconciliation isn’t what Vanderpump had in mind. She scolds Rinna “Don’t just say it! Mean it!” Rinna nods more. “I mean it, BABY.”
Vanderpump says that you can’t just drop a dish, glue it together and expect it to be the same. I agree with the sentiment, but it’s coming from a woman who breaks her face yearly in an attempt to improve it. There’s silence now, but everyone’s peaceful. Carnie squawks “See what cheescake can do?”