Hey Trashies! Here we are at episode 11 of the first season of Celebrity Big Brother US. The retrospective, in which Omarosa dropped some “bombshells”, aired last night as well, so I’ve included some bits and pieces of that as well. Tonight we have the two-hour finale, so make sure you’re popcorned up!
Before we begin, I’d like to give a special thanks to BB production (you know who you are) for f*ing everything (you know what I mean), but most of all, for giving James a chance to show off his awesome vocal projection.
Thanks, BB! You’re the rock star, dontcha know. 😉
We open with seven of 11 HGs left, and only two days to go until the end. On this whirlwind two-hour episode, we have a double eviction, and live HoH and Power of Veto competitions. We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s get started…
We open with Mark as HoH, and Ari and Brandi on the block. Brandi is sure James is behind her nomination. She calls him dumb for targeting her, then says she’d take him out first chance she got. Her plan is to fight for the veto while not kissing anyone’s butt. Ari is sad to be on the block with her bestie, but also hopes to win veto and force Mark to put up a bigger target than Brandi, which could only mean Omarosa.
Omarosa calls Brandi the Wicked Witch of the BB house, and Mark gives her a creepy-stalker gag hug. In the bathroom, Brandi and Ari figure out that Ross and Marissa must have known. Marissa tells Ross she’s going to vote Brandi out, but Ross says he can’t. He feels terrible about keeping things from her, but thinks if he says anything to her, she’ll unravel before eviction. “I can’t save Brandi from Brandi,” he says.
Meanwhile, in the game room, James tells Ari she’s not the target. He interviews in the Diary Room that he hates Brandi’s guts, and besides, Ari is much easier to be around. Plus, she’s bad at comps, so she may need rescuing.
The gang is gathered around the square table when Marissa asks Omarosa what her first feeling was when she walked in the Oval Office. Omarosa asks under which administration, Clinton or Trump? Marissa says she didn’t know Omarosa had been there twice. Omarosa says the press intentionally edits her background, to tell a narrative of how unqualified she is. They all start rolling their eyes.
Omarosa says the press paints her to be just a former Apprentice star, when she’s really a crackerjack expert in communications. “How did I become the Communications Director?” she asks. Well she has a BA and MA in communications, and has done doctorate work in communications, as well. Hilariously, the gang razzes her for picking the easiest major, so she changes it to “telecommunication… law… yeah, that’s it”. And if it weren’t for the press editing her background, she’ll have us know, she’d be able to help Donald Trump prove that he has qualified people around him.
Time to pick players for the veto competition! Omarosa, James and Marissa will be joining Mark, Brandi and Ari in the veto competition.
Now Brandi proceeds to dig her own grave. The gang is sitting around the fire pit when Brandi suggests they all say something bad about Julie. Ross, Marissa and Omarosa jump up and scoot away, then Brandi picks a fight with James, saying she’d send him home if she could. He says she’s been awful to him, and he’s chosen to ignore it, but man is he pissed. She says he’s super cocky, and she only likes him half the time, then claims to have saved him twice. James has said his piece, and now he gets up and leaves.
Inside, Mark praises him for handling that well. He says Brandi shot herself in the foot, and Marissa agrees 100%. Brandi overhears from the kitchen, and yells at Marissa, which hurts her feelings. So Marissa goes off to tell James she’s done with Brandi, and is on his side. Then she tells Ross and Ari she’s been spending every day for the past three weeks trying to figure out how to keep Brandi, but there’s no saving her now. Apparently they’d been scheming to get Omarosa on the block to save Brandi, but the hell with that. Ross and Ari sadly agree.
Time for the Power of Veto competition! It’s the face morph challenge, where each face of four action figures is a combo of features from three different HGs. Each player who finishes gets to watch up in the HoH room with Ross.
We can’t help but notice the mascots for this challenge are a King Kong doll giving head to a GI Joe’s “tank” while an alien watches, and a Godzilla doll screaming because her party sucks. Très VPR.
Oops! Got my wires crossed there for a minute. Back to BB Celeb…
Omarosa is up first and throws it, taking just under 40 minutes to complete the challenge. She’s so convincingly bad that Ross really believes she sucks. Or maybe she really sucks and is BS-ing about throwing it, you never can tell with Omarosa. Up in HoH Headquarters, she tries to rope Ross into a Final 2, on the grounds that she’s terrible at comps.
If Mark, James and Omarosa had a baby and put lipstick on it
Ari sails through it, because she’s been doing everybody’s makeup in the house and has memorized their features. Next is James, who times out on action figure no.3. Marissa and Mark get stuck early on and time out, then Brandi’s up, and she also times out on the first one.
Ari wins the veto!
Brandi says her only hope is if they put Omarosa up. Clearly she doesn’t realize she’s already blown it. Mark plans to replace Ari with someone popular, to guarantee Brandi goes home. He confers with James, and they decide on Marissa. James is already planning out his win, when Mark tells him to cool it, saying, “This is Big Brother, not Big Homey.” Lolz.
Time for the veto ceremony! Ariadna takes herself off the block, and Mark puts Marissa up.
It’s time for the first live eviction of the night! Marissa says she won’t campaign against Brandi. She’s most proud of being Zev’s mother, and also of being a cancer survivor. Brandi says she loves a lot of people in the house but not everyone. She says she’s surprised she likes Omarosa, and gives her a painted butternut squash she calls her boyfriend. She hopes Ari wins the whole season.
James votes to evict — Brandi (with great pleasure)
Ari votes to evict — Marissa
Ross votes to evict — Brandi
Omarosa and the squash vote to evict — Brandi
Brandi is evicted, 3 to 1! In her exit interview, she says she feels betrayed by Ross, with whom she had a Final 2. However, it will not affect their friendship outside of the house, because he’s bribed her with free alcohol for the rest of their friendship. She knows her mouth got her in trouble, but at least she can still move it, sort of. James says in his goodbye video that he hated every minute of their time together, and he’s ecstatic she’s gone. Brandi says the one she made for him was worse. And finally, Julie dares Brandi to say something bad about her.
It’s time for the live HoH competition! This comp is called “BB Auction”. The gang has studied a series of works of art, and will be asked true/false questions about each picture. For this comp, the players are sequestered in different rooms.
Because celebrities don’t do booths
Question 1: Less than half of the pieces of art were labeled as “SOLD” (true) — Ari is the only wrong answer.
Question 2: There was a star on the front of the hat on Ross in Ship Shape (false) — Again, Ari is the only wrong answer.
Question 3: James’ Nutrition Plan was sold for $3203 (false) — Marissa and Omarosa are wrong.
Question 4: The headband in Marissa’s Fashion Passion had exactly 10 flowers in it (false) — Omarosa is the only right answer.
Question 5: There was one open tube of lipstick in Ariadna’s Beauty Buffet (true) — Ross is the only wrong answer.
Question 6: The inhaler shown in Breath of Omarosa was blue (false) — Everyone is right.
Question 7: On Mark’s Fab Vocab, the letter S was pictured on blue colored crystal (true) — Marissa is the only wrong answer.
James and Omarosa are tied for the past two rounds, so it’s time for a tiebreaker. The question is — How long in seconds was the “Award Squeezin'” HoH competition? Whoever guesses the closest without going over wins HoH.
James: 5402 Omarosa: 1200
The correct answer is 2442 seconds, so Omarosa wins HoH! And James came in second in all six HoH competitions, but only because he tried so hard not to win. Omarosa has only a few minutes to strategize, and ends up putting Ross and Marissa up on the block.
Time for the second live Power of Veto competition of the evening! This competition is called “Art-Rageous”. In it, the gang will compare six numbered paintings with replicas displayed in different rooms of the house. One replica is not identical, and whoever identifies it and locks in the number first wins the PoV.
And the painting with the un-identical replica is painting no.4.
Ross wins! Now they all run to the living room for the flash veto ceremony. Ross takes himself off the block, and Omarosa chooses James to go up in his place. James says, “That’s really a bummer.” His campaign is that Marissa should go, because she’s unbeatable, and also, he’s a man of his word. Marissa says they should evict James, because he’s a competition beast and she’s not.
Ari votes to evict — James
Mark votes to evict — Marissa
Ross votes to evict — James
By a vote of 2 to 1, James is evicted. In his exit interview, he says he was surprised, because he thought Marissa was the target, thanks to some shady actions by Lady O revealed on the retrospective episode. He wishes he had committed to the deal with Omarosa, and he chalks Brandi’s attacks up to a secret “third grade crush” (no duh). Julie asks if he might date her outside of the house. He says, “As many times as I’ve thought about this, and that would be zero, I’m still gonna go with no.”
So the Final 5 are all headed to finale night. Everyone except Omarosa will compete in the next HoH competition, and the winner will put up two nominees for eviction. Then there will be a veto competition, and the Final 4 will battle it out for the very last and most powerful HoH in BB history — the winner gets to evict two HGs on the spot. And finally, the Jury will cast their votes with the Final 2, and crown the very first ever winner of Celebrity Big Brother US.
Hang on, darlin’s, we’re almost done! So last night on the retrospective, Omarosa dropped some “bombshells”, which may or may not have turned into screaming headlines by the time you read this (I’m afraid to look). Below is a montage of these clips for you.
And finally, let me leave you with a little palate cleanser, because I can’t in good conscience just Omarosa-bomb you and run.
Thanks for joining me, it’s been a blast!
Grab your hats, the finale’s roaring down the pike…
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