Dear Readers, I’ve been sick for days and couldn’t stomach this show. Literally. I became physically ill. So I tried to watch again but I think it’s one of those sicknesses that amplifies your hatred for everything. That said, I’m going to write what I can so we can have a place to commiserate together.
The women arrive in Barcelona and Cynthia says that they did good on the flight like they’re 3rd graders. The way the episode devolves into roach rumors I guess that’s actually appropriate. She hands out a 50 Cynt bucket list challenge that includes items like pinch a cute guy’s butt and take a shot with a stranger because there is no direct Spanish translation for #metoo.
Marlo picks her challenge which is to imitate a cast member for a whole day. Marlo says that she’s going to be Kandi because she’s so dry. She also says that she could give Kandi etiquette lessons which is ridiculous because the only thing Marlo can teach is how to crotch walk a Range Rover out of a dealership.
Shamea asks why Kim isn’t there and NeNe says that besides the Kroy issue, the bionic Barbie has had every disease known to man. NeNe mentions Kim’s battle with non-cancer which was actually just a bad dye job. She says that Kim needs an electric stroller. Kroy practically has a battery pack in his back so that’s a bit redundant.
The foreclosed hostel they’re staying in can’t accommodate them until the police finish dusting for prints so they go to a reputable hotel for lunch. If peach reaching were a sport, Shamea would be arrested for doping. She asks Eva if her man is okay with her being a lesbian since she allegedly dated Missy Elliott. Eva denies being a lesbian or dating Missy but confirms having had girl on girl action. Cynthia sees an opening, *wink*, and says that although it’s not on the list, she’s open to Kandi exploring her Bailey barnacles. Kandi says that they’ll know when she’s explored the Bailey buffet because Cynthia will defend her the way she defends Will. With tears and a big glasses?
Anyway, Cynthia gets an apology from Eva who didn’t mean to hurt Cynthia. Cynthia accepts it but she’s annoyed at Porsha for the news she shared which was that Will has eyes and he’s a man. She didn’t really say anything! Cynthia’s still harboring resentment because Porsha is the one who fueled the Peter cheating rumors and the Kandi drug and rape rumors. Even NeNe tries to help by saying that Cynthia knows Porsha better than Will but Cynthia gives her the old “I’m still getting to know her” line which Porsha kinda deserves. Out of the whole cast, Porsha and NeNe have been a part of the grimier storylines. However, Cynthia asked for info but didn’t like what she heard. They’re both dumb.
The women go sightseeing but the church they expect to see is as closed as Bar One after a health inspector visit. Shamea checks off a bucket lst item and does a dance on the street. Ugh, Americans.
When they get to the Airbnb, the women are horrified. It’s not bad. It looks like what I’d have if I took everything out of my storage unit and put it inside my 112 square foot apartment. The women begin picking their rooms and Kandi happens to pick the best one upstairs. Although she’s picked her room, NeNe decides that she deserves the best room since she and Cynthia are hosting. I get it but they chose their rooms already and need to chalk up this failure to not achieving the elementary goal of looking at pictures and picking one.
They have a house meeting and NeNe suggests that the mature women get the better room. Umm, the mature women would be Kim Fields and DeShawn Snow. Also, Kandi doesn’t respect any older woman who’s face isn’t on an apron at her restaurant so…yeah. Kandi refuses to switch. You’d think NeNe would tread lightly since Kandi put her on the Xscape tour but that’s the problem with signing contracts too soon; the helpee thinks they’re the helper. By the way, Sheree totally got stuck in the basement which has got to sting given her unfinished one at home.
Porsha will be wearing sunglasses for a while because she is allergic to her eyelash glue. I think she’s just trying to cover up her tears through this whole trip because Miss Cynthia was mean to her. Sheree joins her and they call Kim together. Porsha congratulates Kim on being a cancer survivor and Kim flips out over it. She says that she never had cancer but tells us that NeNe has roaches because same.
At dinner, the women gather and NeNe is still mad about the room situation. Kandi explains that NeNe tried to use her age to get a room but she hates when people mention her age any other time. They argue until they realize Kandi has already stashed her York peppermint patties under the bed and isn’t moving. Then they all get texts from Kim who’s showing them the video/pictures of the roaches in NeNe’s house. NeNe says that they are water bugs because roaches can’t move into brand new houses with tags.
Kim doubles down with the picture of NeNe parked in a handicapped spot. NeNe just starts slurring at this point and saying that she was with a handicapped person. So, Kim kept all of this evidence to use it against NeNe and in real time we already saw where all of this led which was threats of lawsuits, discussion of Brielle’s lady parts and an exterminator costume.
What’d you think? Did you like the Air B&B? Should Kandi have switched rooms? Did you date Missy Elliott? Love you for reading and commenting!
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