Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kyle finally got the attention of her husband by holding balls, …
This ball is a hundred dollars and hour and is named Chris. Will you come to Puerto Rico?
… Yoli ordered MoHam’s new child bride to throw a party for her daughter, who has been about to go away to college for the last fifteen episodes, …
As long as it gets me away from the Forehead for a while.
… and Brandi rewarded Kyle for hiking up a hill by telling her that she’s going to turn against Lisa because Lisa has made Brandi the awful person she is …somehow. Unless Lisa hides in a bottle of Jack at night, I doubt that that’s true, but whatever keeps you yelling at someone for no reason, hon. I know you have your bills to pay. I don’t know if you guys heard about this, but poor Brandi was LEFT by her husband! POOR LITTLE LAMB!
Stop your whining. Brandi has to work for a living now.
We open with Carlton. Since every episode is about how her vagina is in working order, I can only presume this store sells vibrators or butt plugs or some shit. Carlton’s a rebel, you guys. A rebel with a working vag.
It’s not a sex store for dried out overly tanned meat sacks after all. It’s a witch store. With a Virgin Mary.
You’re lucky this is after the pole party. She would have had runaway fifteen year old strippers trying to fit you into orifices.
She’s brought an empty glass candle for the store owner to read. If that lady hugs Carlton and promises to send good thoughts to her broken lady parts, I will totally believe in this bunk. No such luck. She tells Carlton that she’s standing in her “goddess power”. Uh huh. Does it feel dry in here?
I kid, but it is good to see someone on this show reading.
It’s not War and Peace, but it’s a start.