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Susan Money

Squeezed right out of the middle class, NouveauPoor is a former patent attorney in the throes of long-term unemployment. Disenfranchised by a corporate system that values sucking up and nepotism over true talent, she is currently writing and trying her hand at stand-up comedy, all while seemingly futilely sending out an average of 2.1 resumes a day. Yay economy. After 7 1/2 yrs living in sunny, fabulous Las Vegas, she and her 3 3/4 yo daughter MiniPoor are currently couch surfing with family in her home state of Michigan and trying to figure out how to get back to the desert. NP is eternally grateful to RonnieK, TrashTalkTV, and readers like you for the chance to branch out and make the world a happier place.
  • I’m such a statistics nerd, I’ve got my chart all setup.This is like STD Bingo!

  • labowner

    LIzbot he could literally dick slap her around.

  • Lizbot

    It seems to me that these “geniuses” would benefit from having an actual therapist on the show to point out that the reason they suck at relationships is probably due to their personalities rather than being unable to meet their “perfect match”. If two dysfunctional people get together, their relationship is likely to implode at some point, no matter how compatible they are in their dysfunctionality. Like, can you imagine Brittany in a functional relationship with anyone? And yet the show claims that one of these guys is her perfect match. I’m going to guess whoever the guy is, he has a pretty take charge personality (based on your recaps, I’m going to guess Dre? I don’t have a good sense of most of the guys), but anyone who would put up with that kind of crazy for an extended period of time would have to be pretty insecure, crazy and/or controlling (read: potentially abusive) themselves.

  • NouveauPoor

    First off, thank you guys so much for the comments. It’s really great to be back! An Aunt Dorsey endorsement is cause for many smiles!

    Second, labowner, THANK YOU! I was going to assign everyone a number and try and figure all these matches out but four episodes of this show made my brain temporarily disconnect. I can’t believe they’re not using note cards or something, making every possible pairing and giving each a percentage…something other than just drinking all the time!? I didn’t even think about how weird Brittany’s supposed lobster will feel when he finds out. She’s so stinking crazy!!! Maybe it’s John…

    Great to have you around, MonChee! And BigSpain…the Sister Wives use the same midwife I used with my daughter and I can’t tell enough people that whenever the show comes up so I understand what it feels like to be so few degrees separated from a reality star. Fun!

  • Aunt Dorsey

    “Episode 2 opens with a 7-minute recap of the first episode because MTV clearly thinks their viewing audience has the combined attention span of a flea. Or they’re training them for eventual Bravo viewership. It could totally be that.”


  • labowner

    R1: Two correct – Amber/Ryan, Ashleigh/Sscali, Brittany/Adam (R1,3), Coleysia/Dillan (R1,3), Jacy/Dre, Jessica/Chris T., Kayla/Wes, Paige/Joey, Shanley/Ethan, Simone/John (no match)

    R2: Four correct – Amber/Ethan (R2,3), Ashleigh/Dre (R2,3), Brittany/Joey, Coleysia/Wes, Jacy/ John, Jessica/Dillan (no match), Kayla/Ryan (R2,3), Paige/Chris T., Shanley/Adam, Simone/Sscali

    R3: Two correct – Amber/Ethan (R2,3), Ashleigh/Dre (R2,3), Brittany/Adam, (R1,3), Coleysia/Dillan (R1,3), Jacy/Wes, Jessica/John, Kayla/Ryan (R2, 3), Paige/Sscali, Shanley/Joey

    They really need to get either B/A in the booth or C/D.

  • Lisa

    I’ve been hoping someone would recap this show. Thanks, great recap!

  • Jana Walters

    I love this show’s concept and the recap! Yummy guilty pleasure!

  • labowner

    So these kids have never played the color peg game? And if Jessica is so fucking smart she should have figured out who the four correct couples are. Can you imagine the guy who was “matched” with Brittany and how he must feel.

  • Thanks for recapping. I currently live in Shanghai, so it’s next to impossible to catch these shows, but the recaps are some of my favorite things to read. I get the feeling this cap is better than the show. It has the added benefit of making sure I don’t catch a tv STD from these brain cases. Keep it up!

  • BigSpain

    I don’t watch this show but just want to say Kayla’s father is the preacher at my hometown church!! That is all.