Hey there TARashies, sorry for the delay this week. I had out of town visitors so was boozing it up all weekend instead of writing my recap. Last leg in the Czech Republic Jess gave Britt and Alex the wrong word at the crazy phone task so thems be mad. WellHung were Philiminated so that was sad. At 10:08AM the Skiers head out to Zimbabwe, where they will board a train to the Imire Rhino & Wildlife Concervacy. I wonder if that’s where Shannon Elizabeth lives. Cody calls Doomed “Ocean Spray” and says the Skiers are the team to beat. Indy also feels aligned with only all-chick team.
After 30 hours of planes, trains & automobiles they arrive to the lush splendor that is Africa. Zebras, elephants, warthogs (obligatory Hakuna Matana) and other wildlife roam around. Way cool. Even cooler is they get to camp at the Bush Camp for the night. The early finishers are promised an advantage. Of course that prompts Cody to finish 1st, and it will be his and Jess’ 1st camping experience together (lest you forget they only met on BB). Many other teams are less adept at erection (heh) but it only semi-matters. At 4AM a scruffy (& looking fine) Phil bangs on a pot to wake everyone up – it’s Partner Swap time. They’re all “what fresh Hell is this?” The earlier you tented, the earlier your choice of swapmates. BB chooses the Skiers, with Cody taking Jen, Doomed swaps with Indy (interesting 2nd choice) with Britt taking Alex. Twins and Yale partner up, Daniel with Evan.
The newly formed pairs have to traverse down the Imire Lake to look for clues tucked in canteens along the many islands. The “islands” they search are more like little marshes, and some get out of their boats while others find them on the river’s edge. Partners are, for the most part, close to each other and giving signals as to where to find the clues. Back on land they are faced with the Detour: Rhino Track or Bush Whack. While some teams try to stay together, 2 of the 3 are unable to, due to lack of basic skills like driving stick or the misfortune of being last and not having enough Jeeps available to do that detour task (Yale). Two things:
1. I can’t believe people would go on this show without the ability to drive a stick (or swim, or overcome a fear of heights, eating meat/weird shit, etc.)
2. I have to assume both Jess and Kristi’s partners can drive stick (& yup, I was right). But what if it was for a Roadblock and you had to drive? So dumb.
Watch out for Phil
Not-so-fun-fact: Black Rhinos are endangered b/c poachers want their horns. For Rhino teams will travel a path on horseback to collect 8 pieces of evidence left behind by
producers poachers, then lay the artifacts in the proper order on an area map.
The Irinese Rangers, always on the lookout for poachers, need water, y’all. For Whack teams have to drive a (stick-shift) Jeep through a Messy-with-a-capital-M bog of a terrain to the water replenishing station, where they will dig a hole to replace the empty water canister with one they have filled.
Those riding horses (Britt/Alex, Jess/Kristi, DanEvan) have a bush guide, which is probably for safety sake (image if they roamed off course, they could get really lost out there.) Anyhoo, each time they spot something out of the ordinary (matches, crushed Pepsi can, cooking utensils) it is collected, but not necessarily remembered/recorded.
Alex gives Britt the idea of getting married on horseback
(like she hasn’t thought of that in the 9 years she’s been planning this shindig)
Cody/Jen is flying through the mud track, not stopping at all. The other 2 partners (Lucas/Conor and Eric/Henry) think getting stuck in the bogs is part of the task, so they get to winching. It looks very slow, like every 10 cranks gets them an inch of movement. They’re really stuck in the mud, and not just My Cousin Vinny level, either. CodyJen are 1st to the Pit Stop: Savannah Plains, but, just as we all suspected, they have to wait until their teammates arrive.
Horse riding partners don’t know how many pieces of evidence they need (8). Britt/Alex lay out their clues and wait for their partners at the Pit Stop. Conor is behind the wheel while Lucas does the winching. Henry and Eric take turns. This seems so hard to do and I have to remind you this is NOT part of the detour, and could have been avoided.
Indy/Doomed are 1st to reunite at the mat, rejoin their regularly scheduled partners, and keep racing. We got a double episode, folks.
Jen/Kristi are struggling hard at the baby puzzle. They just need to lay out their 8 items in the order in which they were found. The map is an image of the trail, and it seemed straightforward but they got to bickering right away and it takes them TEN tries! When DanEvan arrive, the ladies offer to “work together” but Evan ain’t no fool and asks to see if she can try to solve it herself. And of course she gets it on her 1st try because
she went to Yale the puzzle was easy.
So BB and Skiers are the last teams to head out for the second part of the leg, headed to the Khan Fabric & Haberdashery for an unannounced Double Uturn and Detour: Handle with Care or Just Get it Here. Doomed Uturns BB and Indy does Yale. For Handle teams roll two large tires through the choked streets of the city, and find a hardware store to deliver them to a marked truck. Skiers, Doomed and Indy get to rolling, and Indy struggles finding the drop-off location. It’s up some stairs and other teams tell each other, which boo, this is a race. Skiers even tell Yalies about the stairs, despite the fact that Evan wouldn’t help Kristi earlier in the day (this is when I realized it has all been the same day!) Indy tries to drop the tires off with some random truck and keep asking the guy for a clue. Clueless.
Get it There has teams delivering packages in an extremely large mall. The packages are large and there are 8 of them to deliver, over many levels and sections of the mall. BB and the Twins head to the mall. No major problems with this Detour, the Twins only grab one package (between them!) but realize they can carry more. BB gets a little lost and ends up wasting a little time. They and Indy are doing both Detours, Indy does the tires first and appear to blow through both tasks quickly. Yalies got help on this detour as well, the Twins gave them a bunch of their locations within the mall. Boo. I’m starting not to like Evan.
The mall is built to mimic an ant’s hill, allowing the air to cool it down.
After the detour teams are gonna Get Down, the Zimbab-way, by learning the correct pronunciation of a song and perform on stage with some light dancing. There’s a small crowd that has a good laugh at our racetestants, since barely any of them can sing or dance. Alex claims it is one of his biggest fears on this race. Evan of course knows other langages so isn’t fearful of learning the song.
BB asks Indy for the tire drop-off location, and the boys hope that earned them some good juju. They must have been looking for the tire truck for a long time if BB almost caught up to them. Everyone ends up at the park to sing so it’s going to depend on who gets the lyrics down the fastests. Everyone is butchering the words and giving crappy performances. Looked like it took each team 3 tries to get it. The words are really fast but it seems like they only had to memorize one passage each, then one combined. And by the end I felt like I couldve’ gotten up there and given a better performance, I certainly knew the words by then. The teams mostly have fun with it – Conor is really growing on me – he seems so fun and funny. The Twins are sucking up the stage. Jen is doing well but Kristi not so much.
Fake it till you make it
Cody is starting to shut down, not wanting to practice. Doomed are the 1st to walk over to the Pit Stop: First Street Pedestrian Mall. Brittany gives us the title quote equating love with marriage and war with the raaaace. The Skiers are right behind them to check in and Jen starts everyone singing the damn song on the mat.
When Indy and Yale check in, also very close together, Evan throws some major shade at the boys for Uturning them. Yale really is a strong team to have done everything so quickly, and on not a lot of sleep (remember: same day). We of course need to have our race for last place and BB is only a song performance ahead of the Twins. Could be either team…but it is BB that lives to race another leg.
1. Doomed (St. Lucia – lucky)
2. Skiers (yet anther top 3 finish)
Just don’t follow the guy on the left – he is WAY off
Did you go to bed with the song in your head (if not then you weren’t doing it right). Is Jess dragging Cody down? Is Evan rubbing anyone else the wrong way? Will the Skiers take it all? Let me know your thoughts and thanks for reading!
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