Hello Trashtalkers! So sad to miss you last week during the awful resolution to Christine and Kody’s fight. Any good will that Christine had was completely lost when she declared that once a month she is insane and blamed PMS for the whole thing. Christ. I thought Bravo was bad for women, TLC is much worse. I think Christine is the type of person that wouldn’t vote for a woman President because of her “emotions”. You dimwit poor-man’s Helen Hunt sister wife loser!
Also the Colliers continued to seriously creep me out. With all those guns, weird looking wives and dumb kin, you think the Browns would redneckognize them as a polyfam wannabe Honey Boos- but Janelle goes as far as to call them “mainstream”. Mainstream what? Maybe mainstream for TLC but that is about it. On the bright side Truely did this:
Truely was stung by a wasp shortly after due to her awful parents. 🙁 Dayton also broke my heart when he was anxious about getting on an ATV because he almost lost his eye in a life threatening ATV accident. But you know the Browns, they just remind Dayton that ATVin’ is a part of life! Grab a helmet this time son and climb back on!
So on to this week’s episode! The Browns are inexplicably not tired of stupid family road trips so they hop back into the car. Is TLC paying them per mile? First they move Aspyn and Mykelti out of Christine’s house and into an apartment, and then Christine’s mother Annie moves into Christine’s home. Plaid runs rampant. Side note, these people wear a lot of flannel plaid, leather boots, hoodies and jeans. Isn’t it hot in Las Vegas?
Is it to hide their Mormon undies?
Mykelti and Aspyn are really cute moving out and I think I am going to miss them more than Christine will miss them. Mykelti is secretly a hoarder and wants to be Sister Wives with Aspyn later in life. Aspyn shuts that weird thought down immediately. She doesn’t want to timeshare husband with her sister and that seems normal to me! Aspyn for Female President. Kody overcompensates for being the girls’ father only ¼ of his time and sweats profusely when moving them into the apartment. He looks like he’s going to have a heart attack. But he pulls it together to give them like 5 sentences of advice for living on their own and then he’s like peace! Visit you never! He seems sooo awkward as a father.
Then Kody went for a run and seems really amped up! Maybe on Mountain Dew! I think he should have done a couple more laps around the cul-de-sac to get his energy out. Kody explains that Christine is moving into the home in a couple days into the camera. Kody asks Truely for a high five and she says “no thank you Dad.” Burn!!
Before they can leave for Utah, Kody gets in a fight with Christine and Meri. He acts like a real jerk just because he wants Meri and Christine to figure out how many people are going to Utah and how many cars they are going to bring with them! He has a total hissy fit and speaks down to his women. Christine, Meri AND Robyn are all wearing plaid. Janelle wisely stays home and out of it all together. I think it’s hilarious that she says she’s so happy in her introduction line but constantly miserable and avoiding the family.
Robyn introduced Mindy, her niece, to help out with the kids but this broke Christine’s heart. They needed the help because they’re all working the same hours so they can’t watch each other’s children. Is filming what they mean by “working”? Everyone is in tears…
Christine’s mother left a Polyfam when Christine was young because she was sick of living a lie. It seems like some bad things might have happened to Annie but Christine says when she left it was the most devastating thing ever. So I don’t think she has really forgiven her mother for her choices. Anyway, they pack Annie up and we find out where Mykelti gets her hoarding ways; Annie has a basement full of BANANA BOXES that hold fabric she is supposedly going to use to make cool fashion bags to sell online or at craft fairs (?).
The Browns take full advantage of their child labor to movie Annie out in no time. There is some drama boiling when Annie says she thinks Kody is a great son-in-law, but Christine reveals her mother didn’t even attend her wedding ceremony. They share AWESOME pictures of Christine and Kody’s wedding. Christine reveals when Aspyn was about 4, Annie was part of an anti-polygamy group that antagonized all the people Kody loved for all the awful stereotypes of polygamy and it made Kody’s blood boil. Eventually it led Christine to cutting her mother off and the Brown family to move out of Utah. Hmm I’m going to go with Team Annie on this one! There didn’t seem to be any proof that Annie ever accused Christine or Kody of anything wrong or that Annie was even anti-polygamy. Wow. I can’t believe that Christine just turned on her mother like that without anything happening between them.
Annie sheds some tears when she thinks about living with Kody and all of these insane kids. I don’t think she is going to get a lot of time to make her fashion bags and purses. Next time on Sister Wives, anthropology students come into the Browns house to judge them and their world view! My guess: Kody married Meri legally because she has the most testosterone so is therefore the most level headed to him, then he married Janelle to prove he wasn’t into the sexy aspect of polygamy. Christine was supposed to be a sex wife but she had six kids and became the loud annoying mother wife, so he had to go out and fetch quiet subservient Robyn. She’s the sex wife and his favorite. Today. And that’s why the other wives all hate her boring ass.
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