This week we get a preview of the upcoming season. It looks like my suspicions are right – something isn’t right about Shady Will. We’ll finally get to see the roach situation play itself out on television instead of through IG posts and Eva will finally make her debut.
Porsha’s family’s charity is springing into action after the Houston hurricane. They have toys and Porsha is very excited about that. She does not show equal enthusiasm for the school supplies.
Lauren is super excited about feminine products. I don’t think she realizes that they are not pallets of wigs. Porsha invited the women to participate and Cynthia says that she’s going to go and also have her own event. The rest looked like they thought if they stayed quiet long enough, Porsha would think they all left the room.
Shamea calls Porsha and says that she would like to help out with the cause. They haven’t talked since the argument at the bridal shower so Porsha isn’t sure how to take this. She knows that she wants an apology for being humiliated in front of Kandi and Company and I know that Shamea will officially do anything to be on this show.
Cynthia shows up for dinner with Kandi dressed like a farmer.
“I’m Old McDonald. Now what else is going on?”
Kenya was supposed to be there but she backed out because she’s busy getting her back blown out by Mr. Marc “No Clothes in the Closet” Daly. Nene’s Elephant in the Room event is now just called “Elephant Room” by Cynthia. They agree that Mbele had weird energy and it was an overall mess. Cynthia invites Kandi to participate in the Hurricane Harvey events but Kandi’s rich and already sent some Tex-cash. Plus, she has to spend time with Riley. And she’d rather pee into hurricane force winds than do anything sanctioned by Porsha.
Kandi says that the group might have been more open-minded about participating in the events if Cynthia brought it up first rather than Porsha. No one wants to get karate chopped on the chow line or be accused of drugging the chicken.
Kenya calls in on Facetime but she’s too busy engaging in marital activities to commit to Houston. Cynthia is disappointed because she always supports Kenya. Not that Peter was a great prize but Kenya’s trying to keep her out of state husband. We don’t want to see footage of Marc choke-kissing a waitress at the restaurant.
Tyrone calls Sheree and she asks what he’s doing. Let’s see…it’s noon in prison so that means he’s either writing about the evolution of society through the destruction of heteronormative masculinity or eating fish sticks. He’s eating fish sticks. Sheree says he’s eating better than her and that’s no exaggeration. Kairo hasn’t appeared at the house with groceries in days and Meals on Wheels took her off the list when they saw all the money she’s been spending on wigs this season.
Sheree has added a brace to her wardrobe. You know how people wear rubber bands to remind them of tasks? This brace reminds her to say “my back” at least once per episode. She tells Roney-Rone, because I assume he has a jail name, about the Elephant Conference and how he became a topic of conversation. Tyrone reveals that NeNe tried to get with him. She hung out with him in Philly and invited him to the Celebrity Apprentice but she wasn’t his type and it didn’t go anywhere. That was around the time she was separated so it’s not the worst news. Plus, Sheree would do anything to get back at NeNe who’s already thrown a fit at Sheree’s season one party, clowned her fashion show with Dwight, gotten Sheree fired and called her new man a con artist. Who knows if this is even true?
Even in jail, Tyrone is more productive than Sheree.
Porsha, Lauren, Cynthia and Mal are traveling to a community center for the first charity event. Porsha says that she and her mom used to dig in car seats to find change for the dollar menu.
“We never had enough money to buy the menu so we just ordered the food.”
Apparently Hosea Feed the Hungry has a strict anti-nepotism policy. They feed hungry people as long as they don’t share the same DNA.
Riley is 15 and driving – on the wrong side of the street. Kandi is in the car with her which is the worst idea ever! I still haven’t forgiven my mother for trying to teach me how to drive almost 20 years ago. Riley plans to move out when she’s 18. Let me find out that Riley’s the one skimming the registers at OLG!
Block calls and says he wants to spend time with Riley once things get settled with him. He’s at the hospital awaiting the birth of his newest baby, King. Block is super excited about this kid and Riley’s attitude immediately changes.
First, Block is exclaiming that his son is about to be born and is calling him King while the child he barely claimed and neglected all of her life listens to it. Second, Kandi misses all of these signs and narcissistically accuses Riley of having an attitude with her when it clearly isn’t about Kandi but about her. Third, for Kandi to say that she’s trying to figure this out just like Riley is categorically false. Kandi is an adult who made a choice to have a baby with a less than ideal man in a less than ideal situation. Their culpability and maturity are not the same and she shouldn’t compare their struggles in this situation. Lastly, Riley has gotten a whole new family over the last couple of years, is brimming with hormones and is having all of this broadcast on television! This is not normal. Although it helps to provide their lifestyle and will potentially give Riley a springboard for future endeavors, it’s still an invasive process. Cynthia’s daughter is clearly comfortable in front of the cameras, Riley is not. She needs to take this girl and this storyline off of TV. It’s an important story but it’s not good for her.
Kandi and Riley walk into the house after the phone call and Riley immediately bursts into tears. The cameras aren’t inside but we hear Todd asking what’s wrong. Then little, sweet adorable Ace comes over and calls out “Riley”. I know parents aren’t perfect but seriously Kandi? You don’t see any reason why that phone call made her cry? And then they left the dog outside. I wouldn’t be surprised if he/she got a neglect storyline next season. Kandi would buy him a Benz to make the neglect better but still. It hurts.
Back in Houston, Porsha makes a radio appearance to promote her events in Houston. She couldn’t bear to stay home and not do anything while people were suffering. Unless it’s Lauren. Lauren can run all of the companies for minimum wage and air mattress rental in the mansion while Porsha does nothing.
Cynthia has decided to help out the best way she knows how – taking pictures on a step and repeat with a face full of makeup. Nothing says we’re here to help like contouring. Cynthia is hosting a charity concert and wants Porsha and her sister to rush there so they don’t miss it. Everyone arrives and Porsha even donates $5000. Cynthia is happy to see Porsha be more of a giver than a taker and has hope that the next time they’re on a boat, they won’t reenact pirate attacks.
Kenya surprises everyone and joins them at the event. She has family in Houston and even ran away from the city once when she was a kid so it was important for her to be there.
Back at the hotel, Porsha and Shamea talk about their friendship. Porsha felt like Shamea was trying to humiliate her at the bridal shower and Shamea apologizes for not showing sympathy for her medical condition. They’re not quite on the same page but Shamea is tired of talking and just starts rolling around on the bed with Porsha like they used to do during African speed dating events.
Kenya not only showed up to help, she created her own event. She will be helping Habitat for Humanity and has invited Cynthia and Mal along. They agree to go and plan to stop by Porsha’s event later in the day. As beautiful as Cynthia is, I always imagine that she stinks. When Peter opened Sports one in NC, I never forgot that she said her breath might stink because she didn’t have time to brush her teeth. On this episode, Mal questions her about never wearing socks with her shoes and the potential odor. I feel validated.
Porsha feels like the side chick because Cynthia dropped her as soon as Kenya came into town. At least she has a good attitude about it. She even sends Shamea to represent her at Kenya’s event. In other words, go get your camera time with someone else.
Kenya and crew meet some of the hurricane victims at their homes and she says that Marc would be so proud of her.
This would be the first time he’s seen her dressed in all white while he’s sober.
Kenya begins tearing out the walls of a woman’s home because anyone can host an event but it takes a real charitable woman to demolish a household. I swear, Kenya’s passion for walls is only matched by Trump. Cynthia tries to squeeze in a water break but Kenya insists that they finish the wall before doing that.
Kenya: Do you want to be hydrated or helpful?
Cynthia: Can we be bo-?
Kandi meets Block at his house? Studio? Abandoned car wash? He offers her a “co-cola” and when he opens the fridge he only has a can of Coke and a Pepsi. At least he has the major food groups. He’s wearing a sweatshirt that says “Invisible Bully”. That’s funny, he spelled “daddy” wrong.
Kandi says that Riley cried after their phone call. Block suggests that he and Kandi get along better so that Riley will become more comfortable and open. They decide to go to counseling. Oh, and did he name his son King because Kandi has an Ace. Is he playing Baby Poker?
Porsha is feeding people and stops to throw shade at Kandi and Cynthia by saying that she could’ve just written a check or hosted an event but she planned this one. That would explain the shortage of food for her crowd of four hundred people.
“I multiplied wrong. I always forget to carry the one.”
Meanwhile, Shamea calls to get directions to where Kenya and the rest are working. Kenya basically tells her to figure it out and hangs up on her. In Kenya’s defense, Shamea could have easily asked to be directed to the nearest camera crew. I kind of get it. Kenya was there to work/upstage Porsha, Shamea was already late/kissing up to Porsha and Mal and Cynthia were clearly over it/trying to figure out how to explain their absence to Porsha. It just wasn’t the best match.
That night, everyone but Kenya meets for dinner at a BBQ restaurant. Lauren and Porsha express their disappointment at Cynthia and Mal abandoning their event for Kenya’s. They feel that she should have supported Porsha after they supported her. They end up basically laughing it off but Shamea has a bone to pick with Kenya. She felt dismissed by her at the house. Then Mal chimes in while Cynthia tries to defend her absent friend. Kenya arrives and the counterperson lets her stand there, look over the menu and order an item before telling her that the kitchen is closed. Kenya sits down and tries to order a drink but they only have beer or wine. Production has to be doing this on purpose.
Dejected, she orders a glass of ice water. As Shamea tries to confront Kenya about dismissing her, Kenya orders multiple, additional glasses of ice water.
“Bet you wish you’d taken that water break now…”
Shamea is annoyed that she keeps interrupting her but persists with her long-winded complaint. Kenya tells her to just give the benefit of the doubt and let it go; they’re trying to overshadow the good that she did. Kenya tries to smooth it over but then Shamea denies caring about what happened. Cynthia reminds her that she actually does care because she has spent the entire night talking about it! Kenya gets fed up and leaves the table.
She ends up in the bathroom yelling at a producer about the table being stupid and full of shit. You know who’s not full of shit? Kenya. She didn’t get anything to eat. She says she doesn’t care about any of them. Porsha goes into the bathroom but she can’t even begin to get through to her so she leaves before the bathroom turns into a scene from CSI.
Kenya leaves the restaurant and when Cynthia finds out about her blow up, she rushes out to make sure her friendship contract is still valid in Texas. Kenya is in the car and rolls down the window, after prompting, to tell Cynthia goodbye. Cynthia tries to talk to her but Kenya cuts her off saying that it’s “not a moment” and rolls the window up in her face. Kenya leaves and Cynthia heads back into the restaurant to drown her sorrows in the buckets of ice water the staff has left for Kenya.
Next week, Kim returns. Eva shows up to ruin Cynthia’s relationship and Kandi celebrates her magazine cover. What’d you think? Was Kenya too harsh? Was Shamea annoying? Does Cynthia smell? Love you for reading and commenting!
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