Hello Trashtalkers, it’s catburns covering this episode of Sister Wives! I just finished recapping My Husband’s Not Gay and I feel like TLC is really on the up and up when it comes to Mormon reality television. And basically TLC has taught me that Mormons are either gay or worship a loser like KODY. Not good TLC, not good. At first I thought this group was a little like the Duggars, a religious family with submissive women and too many kids. But Kody and his five wives have no dough, and only bad ideas to try and make money outside of their TLC show. And Kody is really stupid, he makes Jim Bob look like Donald Trump. Anyway, Mormons must hate TLC.
I am not anti-Mormon or polygamy, just anti-Kody Brown. I think he is misogynistic, selfish and worst of all-dumb as a brick. This episode they transverse Nevada, Utah and finally land in Billings, Montana to visit other polygamists on vacation. This sounds like the worst vacation ever. And the Collier family look like the Shinning Twins grew up and married a Duck Dynasty reject. Can’t wait to see what they have to say for themselves!
As the group gets ready to head out on vacation we learn that Christina’s (wife #3) mother has been welcomed to live with the family in Vegas, Janelle (wife #2) still hates Meri (wife #1), and Truely is a magic angel child.
The family stops to see Chris, from “Family Pawn”, for business advice. Christ, 73 episodes in and the Browns still can’t get their stupid internet business off the ground!! Apparantly Chris has always told Kody that he should take a loan rather than give up equity to an investor to kick start My Sisterwife’s Closet. Because I think Chris is a loan shark. They take a line of credit from this dude and leave some shitty cheap jewelry as “collateral”. Christine and I think they should leave boring Robyn (wife #4) as collateral.
Next Kody changes his schedule to upset all his wives at once. He seems to get so much pleasure from being the head honcho. He’s such a dipstick I don’t know why anyone would agree to marry or join into a “spiritual union” with him. When the group revist Lehi, we have a nice flashback to Kody breaking his kids heart with the news they had to immediately evacuate Utah to live at the end of what appears to be an unfinished industrial park “cul de sac” in Vegas. I have a feeling Costco is like RIGHT around the corner. The Lehi house looks a complete mess, like squaters have been staying there, but they claim its just renovation HGTV style. I think Aspyn is the best and should be President one day. She could do a loooong internship with Hilary Clinton and get away from all these moroons. And stay away from Bill too. (Clinton and Cosby).
When we meet Christine’s mother, she looks suspiciously young and spry to just want to give up taking care of her home and yard. Sounds sketchy to me. She may want to become wife #5. Yes I know it sounds weird, but did you know Janelle and Kody were step-brother and step-sister prior to their union? These people are DOWN for anything in the weird family connection department.
Off to see Madison at school! Robyn said that she thinks Madison is lonely because of the things she has been posting on social media lately 🙁 When speaking to her father about her religious buddies at school, Madison got PUNKD, Sister Wives style. For no reason all the mothers move her shit around and unmake her bed. This girl is lonely and sad. stop messing with her stuff and send her a proper care package!!!
There is a short stop at the motel where Meri and Kody spent the first night on their honeymoon, GROSS. Robyn’s plans fall through so they call Kody’s friend Ken from high school to see if he wants to go boating. When Christine hears this she is ready to throw down the gauntlet. Apparently Ken made a comment about Kody dropping some wives and rejoining the church and that was way uncool to Christine. She is a ride or die polygamy biatch.
Then group then picks up some kids at Yellowstone, and Kody says it’s almost awkward to see the kids again, like does he get a hug? huh? Then Kody tries to entice his son to rip out one of his teeth with pliers for $10.
Father of the Year
Then we find out that Ken is too busy to go boating, and Christine is elated. Kody gets pissy about her reaction and tries to remind the group that religious intolerance. BUT for some reason isn’t offended when it’s directed toward his own kin by one of his best friends. Kody is so mad that Christine has sent POISON through the family vacation with her offense he can’t stop talking about it; at the picnic table, in the interview laughing at her, and even the next day when they sit down to discuss the issue. When Kody finally apologizes it is not enough and Christine wants an apology from Ken. This just makes Kody laugh and laugh because thinking about asking for apology just makes his “testicles shrink”. Ew. Barf Kody. Christine is a total ride or die bitch and wants Kody to shout out Plural fo’ Life. You’re already on a show Christine, do you really need this apology from Ken? Are you aware of this thing called the Internet? You can’t make the Internet apologize. Maybe she just hates boating…it seems like Kody REALLY wanted to go boating.
Finally, Meri the empty nester, starts a fight with marshmallows soaked in river water and it’s gross. But happy? It still seems really gross to me. Next episode we finally meet the Collier family.
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