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Paralegal by day, cat wrangler by night, writer in my dreams . . .
  • I really hate this show. It’s all dramatic hyperbole.

  • MargoRita

    I think you’re exactly right. You cld read between the lines and see how hurt mike was. ESP since he was practically crying in the car.

  • NotWithoutMyTV

    I bought a case, and I can now see in THREE DIMENSIONS! I’m serious, I drank Diamond Water for a week, and things are popping right out at me. The world is just… deeper, somehow. It’s seriously AMAZING!!!!!

    I know some people out there are saying Asa is nothing but a “unibrowed, big-assed chiseler”, but they haven’t tried her AMAZING product. I’m going home to get some into my alimentary canal, right now!

  • Aunt Dorsey

    Must be the Persian Family Discount at work.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    @NWMTV — all that and it doesn’t vajazzle your taint at the same time!? I am SO disappointed.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    I went and peeked and a 12-pack of 1 liter bottles is $35.88, which breaks down to $2.99 a bottle and the 18-pack of 18-oz. bottles is $35.82 ($1.99 per bottle) — of course that’s before shipping and handling or any tax is added on.

    Asa isn’t touting herself as a Persian Pop Priestess in her bio. She is now a Multimedia Conceptual Artiste (okay, I added the “e” but it seems fitting for such an exalted title). Plus, she’s gone a little bit Goopy Paltrow on us and is praising the soul and body curative powers of this enhanced LA tap water.

  • NotWithoutMyTV

    That MJ porno bit was so patently staged and designed to provoke that I simply refused to be provoked by Bravo’s transparent attempt to provoke me.

  • Gypsy

    @eyediosmio, apparently the fields read: Shipping address and delivery address which is rejecting orders. They have no billing address field…but they are still charging orders, twice.

    Just a head’s up.

  • eyediosmio

    I just saw this – are you kidding me? That’s horrible! Will NOT be ordering this and instead will drink vodka, with ice cubes i mean, diamonds. Whatever. I’m drinking it anyway to try and finish this recap. What with all the MJ nudity, Reza backtracking and Mike snarling, and Lily chirping – I needz the vodka!

  • eyediosmio

    I am just DYING to try this stupid water. Although I plan on emptying out all the water and putting vodka in it, because OF COURSE!

    Also, I wonder if I can con my mother into ordering it, she’s on an “alkaline” diet, which I like to call the “bullshit” diet. She’d probably order it. Ha!

    and the link to the website is here: http://realdiamondwater.com/home

  • Gypsy

    Apparently it won’t. Early reports say that this ordering is a disaster and my friend’s card has already been charged twice while rejecting her order. Subsequent angry email has been sent.

    If anyone else wants to compromise their credit, please go to realdiamondwater.com and try it for yourself! 😉

  • NotWithoutMyTV

    Your investment in diamond water will simultaneously balance your four humors, bedazzle your transverse colon, and help pay off Asa’s indentured servitude to Cohen Capital, LLC.

  • Meg B

    ::raises hand:: I think I may have been here once or twice. Minus the cameras.

  • Gypsy

    I really cannot stand any of these trolls but, they are fun to watch.

    My friend is ordering Diamond Water. Hoping to snag a bottle. I’ll report back.

  • Gypsy

    “Cocaine is a helluva DRUG!”

  • Gypsy

    Mike is making bad life choices? Have you seen Jessica’s frozen face?

  • Aunt Dorsey

    Exactly, but I’m sure Reza is not going to toss out, “I’m a petulant hoser AND you didn’t buy a three-million-dollar house from me…..wahhhhhhhh!”

  • classy drunk

    outside of the air time yes…sounds like a position I have been in.

  • hottempered242

    The worst part about Reza stating that Mike “betrayed” his friendship is that Mike is the only one who shut down Sasha when Sasha started talking shit about Reza (before they made up). Mike told Sasha that even though what Reza did was wrong, Reza was still his friend and he would not let Sasha bad-mouth Reza around him. This is when the rest of the cast egging Sasha on.

    I agree with NatPatBen that Reza then turns around and gets mad at Lily for doing the same thing he did to Mike. THE NERVE! I laughed so hard at the preview for next week. Who wants to bet that Lily uses the same argument (“you didn’t back me up!”) that Reza used this episode?

  • eyediosmio

    Love this!

  • NotWithoutMyTV

    I, too, can relate to Mike, because like you guys said, we’ve all been in this same situation. One of your weirdo hipster friends launches her scam product, and you get invited to the party. You don’t want to go because your ex-friend and business partner, with whom you have a producer-contrived and somewhat ill-defined beef with, will be there, and he’s a flamboyantly gay megalomaniac with severe identity and self-worth issues. But you have to go, because a) contract, and b) air time. So of course, you get fall-down, sweaty drunk beforehand, drink heavily throughout, and make sure lots of mutual friends are around to exacerbate the situation, thoroughly stealing the spotlight from your weirdo hipster friend’s scam product. Because you have many issues of your own, including self-worth, identity, commitment, and conflict-resolution issues, the problem spirals upward in severity from whatever the original, producer-driven picadillo was. You wind up on the floor of the restroom, sobbing hysterically, frantically snorting lines of cocaine directly off a toilet seat, while your drunken friends pound on the door and demand to know “if you’re hurting yourself in there, or what??!”

    Yup, who of us hasn’t been in Mike’s EXACT situation?

  • eyediosmio

    YOu have to give Mike credit, which is that yes – he will do what he feels is morally right. Which is kind of awesome. But we all know Reza cannot take any kind of scolding or admit when he’s wrong outright – which is why he and MJ are soulmates

  • eyediosmio

    Hee! Schwetty.

    I have to say that maybe MJ’s porn would probably be more interesting than Kim’s, but in a car wreck kind of way

  • eyediosmio

    You know what I thought was off about Mike’s argument is that I thought he was really pissed off at Reza about the fact that Reza left him high and dry with the business. Wasn’t that the issue? Or is it that Reza left Mike high and dry because of the Twink fight at the Club? That’s why it felt off, because I think with this group they pick and choose what to be pissed off about.

  • Classy Drunk

    I agree NatPatBen, I have been in the same situation as Mike a few times. My heart leads me to do what is right regardless of loyalty. What’s right is right and I think as a friend you should understand that I am your friend but if you are wrong then you are wrong.

  • Aunt Dorsey

    Holy crap, Mike was absolutely hammered and really, really schwetty. His poor girlfriend was having a hell of a time trying to rein his crazy in. Reza is still a major jackass. Way to dump on Asa’s magical day.

    What the… it sounds almost like Mercedes is trying to cash in on some of that Kartrashian type homemade porn. Did she set that up so she can conveniently claim the computer dude leaked it? Good luck with that, I lasted less than five minutes with Kim’s debut porno, it was mind-numbingly boring.

  • I’m very much not a fan of drunken behavior, and I also think Mike is making bad life choices these past few episodes… but somehow when he was talking to Reza, I felt he very clearly articulated his side. I really felt that scene because it reminded me of me and my husband. I would be Mike in the way that he followed what he thought was the right thing to do, regardless of which person was his friend. Reza felt that loyalty was more important than doing the right thing.

    What was funny to me… in the previews for next week, Reza has a sit down with Lily saying that he put a lot into their relationship, one thing happened, and she easily threw away the friendship. Um, Reza: Isn’t that EXACTLY what Mike was telling you at Asa’s party.

  • Poochie129

    Drunk Mike was hilarious!
    Mike telling Reza to suck on his Diamond water, lol!!!!!!